Zen Wisdom...

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Mon Mar 26, 2007 8:34 am

Got this in email today, related to oh so many of them!! thought I'd share..........

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not

walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk

beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell

alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a

broken fan belt and leaky tire.

3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going

to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to

do it.

4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced,

you can't be promoted.

5. Always remember that you're unique, just like

everyone else.

6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try

missing a couple of car payments.

8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a

mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize

them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for

you.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach

him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink

beer all day.

11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person

again, it was probably worth it.

12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember

anything.

13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the

windshield.

14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold

it in half and put it back in your pocket.

16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

17. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side

and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

18. There are two theories to arguing with women.

Neither one works.

19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when

your lips are moving.

20. Experience is something you don't get until just

after you need it.

21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping

pill and a laxative on the same night.

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Mon Mar 26, 2007 8:54 am

brill i'd like to add jimbo wisdom:-6

never bite your nails after inserting a suppository

he who goes to bed with itchy bum wakes up with smelly finger:rolleyes:

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Mon Mar 26, 2007 9:01 am

jimbo;583067 wrote: brill i'd like to add jimbo wisdom

never bite your nails after inserting a suppository

he who goes to bed with itchy bum wakes up with smelly finger:rolleyes:

:eek: :yh_rotfl

definately helped me out today ...thanks Jimbo!!:wah:

Imladris · Post by **Imladris** » Mon Mar 26, 2007 11:45 am

22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping

pill and a laxative on the same night.

My fave:wah:

dubs · Post by **dubs** » Mon Mar 26, 2007 3:56 pm

jimbo;583067 wrote: brill i'd like to add jimbo wisdom:-6

never bite your nails after inserting a suppository

he who goes to bed with itchy bum wakes up with smelly finger:rolleyes:

I tried one of those suppositories once! It was hard to swallow...It tasted funny...And for all the good it did..I might as well have shoved it up my Arse!.....

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Mon Mar 26, 2007 4:15 pm

dubs;583392 wrote: I tried one of those suppositories once! It was hard to swallow...It tasted funny...And for all the good it did..I might as well have shoved it up my Arse!.....

a wise crack i presume :wah:

NotToday · Post by **NotToday** » Tue Mar 27, 2007 10:45 am

I love these, these are great!~