Political Correctness
Posted: Mon Feb 05, 2007 4:54 pm
Due to the climate of political correctness now
pervading America:
Kentuckians, Tennesseans, and West
Virginians will no longer be referred to as
"HILLBILLIES."
You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.
And furthermore, HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE
POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" -- She is a
"BREASTED AMERICAN."
2. She is not "EASY" -- She is "HORIZONTALLY
ACCESSIBLE."
3. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" -- She is a
"LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION
SUPERHIGHWAY."
4. She has not "BEEN AROUND" -- She is a
"PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."
5. She does not "NAG" you -- She becomes "VERBALLY
REPETITIVE."
6. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" -- She is a "LOW COST
PROVIDER."
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" -- He has developed a
"LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."
2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" -- He is "OVERLY
CAUCASIAN."
3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" -- He
"INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE
DESTINATIONS."
4. He is not "BALDING" -- He is in "FOLLICLE
REGRESSION."
5. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" -- He develops a
case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."
6. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his
pants -- It's "REAR CLEAVAGE."
pervading America:
Kentuckians, Tennesseans, and West
Virginians will no longer be referred to as
"HILLBILLIES."
You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.
And furthermore, HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE
POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" -- She is a
"BREASTED AMERICAN."
2. She is not "EASY" -- She is "HORIZONTALLY
ACCESSIBLE."
3. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" -- She is a
"LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION
SUPERHIGHWAY."
4. She has not "BEEN AROUND" -- She is a
"PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."
5. She does not "NAG" you -- She becomes "VERBALLY
REPETITIVE."
6. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" -- She is a "LOW COST
PROVIDER."
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" -- He has developed a
"LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."
2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" -- He is "OVERLY
CAUCASIAN."
3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" -- He
"INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE
DESTINATIONS."
4. He is not "BALDING" -- He is in "FOLLICLE
REGRESSION."
5. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" -- He develops a
case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."
6. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his
pants -- It's "REAR CLEAVAGE."