ForumGarden

I don't know how to boil water.

I cooked the pot instead.

Dear Hammie



I bought a PS2....yes this 60 year old sitting here....



My confession...hhhh...mmmm.....I had to get my 11 yr old grandson round to get me 'unstuck' from one of the stages. Please don't tell anyone, but this was a game in the category 3+. Oh the shame of it ...



Just checking.....this stuff will stay confidential won't it ?

Hamster;523357 wrote: This does not actually shock me....although it does alarm me somewhat if we are to "enjoy" your "cooking" next weekend?

Please go to your nearest book shop immediately and buy Delia's "How to cook" parts 1, 2 and 3. You MUST report back urgently with a hard boiled egg in your hand!


ok. I'll work out the boiling water part if you agree to handle the icecubes.

i confess i'm worse than any kid i am the most aggravating annoying childish person in the world i play pranks on every one all day long , i'm a total embarrassment to my grown up sons ... i cant help it hammy is there any hope that one day i will be a normal member of society ,even my ever faithfull sue is giving up on me

Hamster;523330 wrote: good, bad, or downright awful. Big or small




My confession is reading too fast. Especially this part, so I was wondering

why you'd want us to confess "downright small" sins?



;)

Hammy, I have to confess. I need to unburden myself. I cannot carry this secret any longer. I've been tormented for many years over this terrible thing that I did.



Many years ago I got my brother into trouble with mum for knocking over a bottle of shampoo that had no lid on and spilling it all over the bathroom but really it was me.



Do you think he will forgive me? Hammy, do you forgive me for being a bad big sister?



Yours penitently



Immy

Hamster;523371 wrote: Dear Jimbo,



This is a common complaint amongst men of your age. They must often seek to be a prankster in order to regain their youth.



Please go to your nearest shopping centre and purchase a PS2. Yu must spend so much time on there that you will be able to beat someone called "Bez" who will have an amazingly high score.



Once you can do this you will feel self fulfilled and no longer feel the need to chase poor Suzy round the room.


hammy you know full well there is a 12 year old in the house ,and all 12 year olds could kick any adults ass at any game now where is the fun in that

Hamster;523382 wrote: ok ok in that case Jimbo I will have to set you a special task to be completed in Birmingham city centre


changed my mind hammy the p2 seems a good idea now :yh_whistl :yh_whistl :yh_whistl

Pinky;523431 wrote: Dear Hamster,



I've done some terrible, terrible things with Immac of which I am mortally ashamed. When a mate was living with me a couple of years ago, her fella stayed over and I forgot that he can't see very well and left the tube of immac on the basin and he mistook it for toothpaste:o

I also encouraged my friend to empty her husband's Brylcreem down the bog and fill it up with immac instead...should I really be allowed to go near hair removal products?




your safe with me pinks :wah: :wah:

hammy someone has been torturing me for ages is it wrong to want to get my own back on them

Hamster;523381 wrote: Dear Immy,



This is indeed a heinous crime. You must purchase as many bottles of shampoo as you can...ideally one for each year since this happened. Then you must parcel them up and send them to your brother who will no doubt be thrilled to receive them. Along with your note of apology.


Dear Hammy,



This would amount to about 30 years worth of shampoo - forget it! How about a little bit of self-flagelation? Wouldn't that be a more suitable punishment? And maybe I could get someone nice to help me:sneaky:



Immy (not to be confused with Immac!)

Hi hammy

I have a terrible addiction...it's being on the computer at this forum...there are people there from all over the world, and I find it facinating. I talk about it to my friends and they think I've gone mad. I keep it on while I'm at work and talk about myself vacuming Nekkiidd...and there have been times that I have had a cyber lampshade on my head for 3 days...what do I do???

Dear hammy, I am a catholic, and I haven't been to confession for at least 15 years, what can I do to make up for my sins in this time (too many to discuss here). Do you think there is anyway I can talk God out of getting me for this?

Hamster;523487 wrote: Dear WW3,

This is a common confession indeed. Please don't worry unless you actually vacuum nekkid with a cyber lampshade on your head.

If you do that then you are totally in trouble.


OH OH!!! What do I do?? You guessed my hidden confession!!

Hamster;523506 wrote: Dear Galbally,

In my semi-professional/sane state I would have to say nope you are totally screwed and are heading straight to hell. On the plus side you may meet a nice girl called Pinky there!




Will there be snacks?

She likes sausages, I like smoked salmon.

Do they take reservations?

Whats the parking like?

Hamster;523509 wrote: Dear WW3....

The ONLY cure for this is to run around outside right now wearing nothing but a lampshade and shouting "Hello my name is WonderWendy the third and I love Forum Garden" at the top of your voice to anyone who will listen.


Okay, thanks for the advice, NOW what do I do with the three dogs humping my legs and the "indecent exposure fine" I got from the police and my kids crying in the corner cause their Mother has finally lost her ever-lovin mind???

Ummmm Hammy, could we go somewhere private?

If I confess all since the break up of my marriage no one will believe I'm 'nice' Betty anymore :wah:

Hamster;523530 wrote: Dear Galbally,

Funny you should mention this. I am putting together an "afterlife tour guide" brochure. Would you be able to take some notes for me as I'm sure I may never visit this place? :yh_angel


Excellent, I will report back what I find, weather permitting.

Hamster;523558 wrote: Dear Boops...



This IS private..no-one else is looking at all. Don't worry...



Now spill!! I want to see if there is owt you HAVEN'T told me! :wah:


:wah: :wah: