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Do you ever think back on the course of your life and think what you could have not done that you did that would have made your life so much easier? I think sometimes that if I had not wasted time dating and being in messed up relationships with men throughout my lifetime, and instead used that time and wasted energy on say...........getting an education, or just anything else, I would have had been a more productive person.

I would not have gotten married the second time. We lived together for 8 years and while it wasn't always wonderful - at least at the end we could have walked away without quite so much emotional damage.

cinamin;520624 wrote: Do you ever think back on the course of your life and think what you could have not done that you did that would have made your life so much easier? I think sometimes that if I had not wasted time dating and being in messed up relationships with men throughout my lifetime, and instead used that time and wasted energy on say...........getting an education, or just anything else, I would have had been a more productive person.



:(


Sure I do, I'm only human. I think it's a very human thing for us to take stock in our past so we can see what we could have done differently, taking stock, as opposed to beating yourself up about what you didn't do or what you hadn't done. Everything you do propels you to be what you eventually are. Bloom where you are planted and reach for sunny heights. IYou have to know where you've been in order to know where you're going but try tokeep an objective neutral viewpoint.

I would never have tried that first cigarette.

I would never have tried that first beer.

I would never have let those first few extra pounds get comfortable.

I would never have turned down that scholarship in favor of a ship.

I would have worked harder to prepare for work.

I would have chosen to bless when too often I cursed.

I would never have looked back.

I would have studied some business related subject i n college and now be earning millions by coming up with new ideas for management to spend more money on themselves, and would drive around feeling like I was brilliant (like they do). But no, I had to go and do science, Hons Chemistry, and now I am hocking my degree certificate to pay for the petrol for my car to get to the poorhouse, which is where the scientists live, as thats about as much as you can afford.

cinamin;520624 wrote: Do you ever think back on the course of your life and think what you could have not done that you did that would have made your life so much easier? I think sometimes that if I had not wasted time dating and being in messed up relationships with men throughout my lifetime, and instead used that time and wasted energy on say...........getting an education, or just anything else, I would have had been a more productive person.



:(
2 things I would have changed: I would have kept Bullet home on 7/1/05 and I would not have taken my motorcycle out on 8/20/06.

i would have steered clear of fags(still makes me laugh how the yanks think fags are shirt lifters lol)and booze,i tried lsd,speed and blow,whilst i value the acid experience i wished ide just read about it ,ive now got horrendous arachnaphobia as a result!if i could go back i would persue the boxing urge and be heavyweight champ(as long as i could avoid mohamed ali that is)

As I've grown older, I spend less time regretting the things I've done in my life and more time in a sort of wonder at the way in which all my actions have inspired other actions or caused other doors to open...all things seem to be interwoven and dependent on everything else and I find this magical. It is almost as if there are no mistakes and as if everything can be used as grist for a very fantastic mill.

Yes, I do regret the hurt I've inflicted upon others, particularly when I was younger, but I've learned that even my hurtful actions have taught me more about myself and I'm appreciative of that. In my more reflectve moments, I can also be appreciative of the hurt caused to me by others and see how they too have contributed to knowing myself better...because I believe that to know myself is the first step to being free.

I would have yes when offered a new experience and no when offered that lovely piece of chocolate or gooey cake (my waistline would be so grateful!!)

If I could go back I when I was about 13 yrs old I would remember to lock the bathroom door so mom couldnt walk right in.

Just thinking, I don't regret anything really so far (well 2 things, not so bad), though I probably would have had more sex.

I always think of one particular girl every time I hear "The Road Not Taken" by Bruce Hornsby. Guess you could make your whole life about What If's. It's really all about Are you happy with the here and now?

You can waste a lot of time regretting things you could or should of done . Save your energy and focus on what you want and can do while you've still got the time .

pompom;521135 wrote: My memory's so bad I've forgotten any regrets I might have had

Anyway ...

I did it my way :-6
I've had some too, but too few to mention

I would have picked a different major in college

I would have learned to manage money better.

I would not have let a friend talk me into dating the last guy I was with before Rick.

Oh dear -starting this does not seem to have been a happy experience. Too much looking back, and I think that's a real problem. Always blot out the past - it's only the future that matters, and as the years go by there is less of it. Be positive about what you are going to do, and if you really must contemplate the past, learn from it. This should make you even more positive about the rest of your life.

meltonpie;521312 wrote: Oh dear -starting this does not seem to have been a happy experience. Too much looking back, and I think that's a real problem. Always blot out the past - it's only the future that matters, and as the years go by there is less of it. Be positive about what you are going to do, and if you really must contemplate the past, learn from it. This should make you even more positive about the rest of your life.


Lovely to see you back, Melton...and some very wise advice :-6

Now this is a thought-provoking question

I would have been more patient with my mother while I still had her.

I would have gotten out of an abusive relationship much sooner, before my self-esteem was more damaged.

I would have accepted myself more readily instead of comparing myself with my twin and always coming up short.

I would have not tied my self-confidence to my weight as much as I did.

I would have gotten a little doggie much sooner so that I could experience the joys of unconditional love.

I must say, though, at age 45, I absolutely feel older AND wiser. The older part -- well, I'm getting used to that, but the wiser part: it really does feel wonderful :-6

cherandbuster;522081 wrote: Now this is a thought-provoking question

I would have been more patient with my mother while I still had her.
Oh this almost made me cry. I need to do this.

cherandbuster wrote:

I would have gotten out of an abusive relationship much sooner, before my self-esteem was more damaged.
I've done this too many times, stayed when I should have left. I just left one less than a month ago. It was not abusive at first, but was headed in that direction when I left. It's still hard, rememering the tender and caring side of him.

cherandbuster wrote:

I must say, though, at age 45, I absolutely feel older AND wiser. The older part -- well, I'm getting used to that, but the wiser part: it really does feel wonderful :-6


Yes it does, I just turned 46.

:p

cinamin;520624 wrote: Do you ever think back on the course of your life and think what you could have not done that you did that would have made your life so much easier? I think sometimes that if I had not wasted time dating and being in messed up relationships with men throughout my lifetime, and instead used that time and wasted energy on say...........getting an education, or just anything else, I would have had been a more productive person.




And cinamin, the older you get, the more you'll look back and Know you would have done things differently. Like RG said, it's human nature to review our lives when we all of a sudden find we're older and "What the heck have I accomplished?". I don't think many humans are completely satisfied with their lives. We all make mistakes or just plain bad choices.

theia;520778 wrote: As I've grown older, I spend less time regretting the things I've done in my life and more time in a sort of wonder at the way in which all my actions have inspired other actions or caused other doors to open...all things seem to be interwoven and dependent on everything else and I find this magical. It is almost as if there are no mistakes and as if everything can be used as grist for a very fantastic mill.



Yes, I do regret the hurt I've inflicted upon others, particularly when I was younger, but I've learned that even my hurtful actions have taught me more about myself and I'm appreciative of that. In my more reflectve moments, I can also be appreciative of the hurt caused to me by others and see how they too have contributed to knowing myself better...because I believe that to know myself is the first step to being free.




What she said.

i would avoid the rep as a bit of a scrapper,i once witnessed a bloke with the same rep,he attacked a man who appeared to be in abject terror.all the chaps around spoke so badly of the bully that it made me realise folk only pretend to like you so as you dont thump them!i grew up that day.

Oh my list is long, and just thought last week, I wish there are 3 people in my life I NEVER met, but one of those is the father of my beautiful boys...and of course it would change me ever knowing those sweet boys of mine...so it takes me to my saying...which my sister in law hears all the time...

"IT all happens for a reason"...we learn as we go, don't think I'll ever stop learning!

I've gone through some real tough times like MANY others, and if we let it get us down..we won't get through it...need to keep our heads high and smile and keep on "truckin"...ha...showing my age!!:-6

i am finally at that age to know that you cannot go back..spend no time on regretts that cannot be changed....live for today....and dream for tomorrow , all the while knowing it may not come...be sastisfied with what is.....