My Cats' New Year Resolutions
Posted: Sat Jan 06, 2007 10:49 am
(Could it be?)
1. My humans will never let me eat their pet hamster, and I am at peace with that.
2. I will not slurp fish food from the surface of the aquarium.
3. I will not use the bathtub to store live mice for late-night snacks.
4. I will not play "Herd of Thundering Wildebeests Stampeding Across the Plains of the Serengeti" over my humans' bed while they're trying to sleep.
5. I will not assume the patio door is open when I race outside to chase leaves.
6. I will not stick my paw into any container to see if there is something in it. If I do, I will not hiss and scratch when my human has to shave the glue out of my fur.
7. I will not play "dead cat on the stairs" while people are trying to bring in groceries or laundry.
8. I will not swat my human's head repeatedly when she is on the family room floor trying to do sit-ups.
9. When my humans are typing at the computer, their forearms are NOT a hammock.
10. I will not puff my entire body to twice its size for no reason after my humans have watched a horror movie.
11. I will not perch on my human's chest in the middle of the night and stare until she wakes up.
12. If I must claw my human I will not do it in such a way that the scars resemble a botched suicide attempt
1. My humans will never let me eat their pet hamster, and I am at peace with that.
2. I will not slurp fish food from the surface of the aquarium.
3. I will not use the bathtub to store live mice for late-night snacks.
4. I will not play "Herd of Thundering Wildebeests Stampeding Across the Plains of the Serengeti" over my humans' bed while they're trying to sleep.
5. I will not assume the patio door is open when I race outside to chase leaves.
6. I will not stick my paw into any container to see if there is something in it. If I do, I will not hiss and scratch when my human has to shave the glue out of my fur.
7. I will not play "dead cat on the stairs" while people are trying to bring in groceries or laundry.
8. I will not swat my human's head repeatedly when she is on the family room floor trying to do sit-ups.
9. When my humans are typing at the computer, their forearms are NOT a hammock.
10. I will not puff my entire body to twice its size for no reason after my humans have watched a horror movie.
11. I will not perch on my human's chest in the middle of the night and stare until she wakes up.
12. If I must claw my human I will not do it in such a way that the scars resemble a botched suicide attempt