ForumGarden

God answers so many of my little prayers,

so why not the big ones too?

I just can't understand it

Why does He do the things he decides to do?

My deepest desire lies unfullfilled

I feel so hopeless inside

I know I should be thankful

and not so full of pride.

I ask God every day

for this or that, you know, little things.

And when He answers so clearly

my heart just really sings.

But in those deep, pondering moments

When I ask for the desire of my heart,

I get no clear answer

and then my tears start,

Oh God, I want a baby

to hold and kiss and love

I know that You alone can give me

that blessing from above.

I keep waiting, waiting, waiting

and my patience grows to despair.

Oh why can't I have a baby?

For nothing else I truely care.

I know You haven't forgotten me

for better things to do

because You answer all my little prayers,

I just wish You'd fulfill my big one, too.

By Stephanie Marottek

9/25/01

When do I stop?

When do I realize it's enough?

Why does it have to be me

who has it so tough?

There are many out there

who are evil and perverse.

Yet do You burden them

with an infertility curse?

A 16 year old delivers

a healthy baby boy

then throws him in the garbage

like some old broken toy.

A drug addict

has 3 beautiful little ones

and beats them black and blue

for nothing they have done.

A worn-out woman

with already more than she can bear

sighs dissapointedly

when she sees two lines are there.

God give me one, just one

to cherish all my days

And I promise that to You I'll give

all glory, credit and praise.

Make it stop

this intense longing and fear.

Please give me a child

that I can hold near!

By Stephanie Marottek

With every tear that falls, there is a lost heart that calls.

it calls to say I'm here, don't dispair, I will come to you

when the time is right, when you least expect me and through

the quiet night open your heart to me, accept me, I will be there

in the end.

Your wait may be long, you may get frustrated by the whole

ordeal. In the end I will be real. While others around you are

succeeding your heart goes on bleeding.

I would thank you for being patient, I would thank you for

being the kind of person who shows persistance. If it were not

for this, I may never get the chance to have an existence.

In the chaos of your day, the calm of your night, let your heart

soar and take flight.

For so many tears, for so many years. You have been trying,

thinking of giving up but never doing it. In the end you just keep

on going in the hopes that I will come to you, the one who deserves

me, the one who can love me as no other can. You will be that

mother that you always wanted to be. Just you keep waiting for me.



THis one was written by" AUssie Shaz

I don't tear up easy....till now.

Love you, DGal :-4

I truly believe that your dream will soon come true :-4

Thanks lovely ladies.

It just helps when you find stuff like this. You know there ARE people out there that know EXACTLY what you are feeling everyday.

DesignerGal;482959 wrote: Thanks lovely ladies.

It just helps when you find stuff like this. You know there ARE people out there that know EXACTLY what you are feeling everyday.


That is so true, DGal. It always feels 'less bad' when you know there are people who go through the same thing. :-6

Hi there DesignerGal!

I'm Stephanie Marottek, the author of those first 2 poems! I just wanted to say hi and thank you for crediting me.....and that I hope you get your longing fulfilled soon....our journey to having a child was long and hard and full of tears...but I am happy to report (and hopefully give you hope) that we DID finally have our baby!!

It was 4 1/2 long years after the stillbirth of our daughter, but we were finally blessed with another child.

And I want to encourage you and others to keep on keeping on!

Please feel free to contact me if you'd like to talk or to just get some encouragement!!

HUGS!

Stephanie

amandasmommy2000@yahoo.com