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I worked in a car dealership as the night receptionist while saving up for college. During that time, as you can imagine, I heard a lot of lies.

There are different types of liars but the compulsive liars are the most interesting. One of the salesmen, in particular, would practice lying whenever there were no customers around to perform it on. He would wander over to my desk, make himself a coffee (I didn't "do" coffee) and launch into a random spiel. It could be about anything, but usually something that made him look good. He'd finish his story and I'd look him and say "you're so full of ****" He'd start to get offended, then realise he'd been seen through him, and laugh. He'd always come back and try it again later. I never figured out if he thought he'd fool me next time or not but, once in a while, I'd tell him it was "a good one." It seems a good liar needs practice. It only surprised me that he was able to continue enjoying it so much.

So glad that I never worked in a car dealership.:driving:

Saffron;471375 wrote: So glad that I never worked in a car dealership.:driving:


I suggest you try it. Fascinating. And, I found, educational.

(clearing THROAT)....EX was a car salesman...and pretty good at it too...but not for long, sold meat out of a pick-up truck (frozen of course). Drove Tractor Trailer, Lineman (power lines) and umm there may of been some I missed...but now he's a Real Estate Agent...He's very good at lying...one reason we aren't together...cause I always told the truth to the other person he was lying to....

The sad part about liars, is that they believe it after a while...and don't care who they hurt with those lies...I'd rather be honest and know that I haven't falsely told something to someone than LIE like a dog and not care about the out-come...

WonderWendy3;471398 wrote: (clearing THROAT)....EX was a car salesman...and pretty good at it too...but not for long, sold meat out of a pick-up truck (frozen of course). Drove Tractor Trailer, Lineman (power lines) and umm there may of been some I missed...but now he's a Real Estate Agent...He's very good at lying...one reason we aren't together...cause I always told the truth to the other person he was lying to....

The sad part about liars, is that they believe it after a while...and don't care who they hurt with those lies...I'd rather be honest and know that I haven't falsely told something to someone than LIE like a dog and not care about the out-come...


LMAO I know what reaction that gets. Steal a liar's thunder and they blow!

I've found that it is essential for them to believe their own lies. It's the only way to stay convincing. I can't figure out how they keep track of them all. That's why it usually can't last over long term relationships.

koan;471393 wrote: I suggest you try it. Fascinating. And, I found, educational.
No. My younger brother worked in a car dealership near the beach here in So. Orange. He was in sales.

He told me some horror stories. Especially one about a man who wanted to test drive a car and took him on a ride of his life.

And sometimes these unsavory characters would just walk onto the lot and have nothing but trouble on their minds. A few times he'd get into confrontations with strange men and they'd to out into the street, take off their ties and start beating each other up. The managers would call the cops and they'd run a make on the guys and they'd have warrants. So they'd get arrested there on the spot.

There are some frightening people around Orange County area.

Saffron;471406 wrote: No. My younger brother worked in a car dealership near the beach here in So. Orange. He was in sales.

He told me some horror stories. Especially one about a man who wanted to test drive a car and took him on a ride of his life.

And sometimes these unsavory characters would just walk onto the lot and have nothing but trouble on their minds. A few times he'd get into confrontations with strange men and they'd to out into the street, take off their ties and start beating each other up. The managers would call the cops and they'd run a make on the guys and they'd have warrants. So they'd get arrested there on the spot.

There are some frightening people around Orange County area.


That's not half as bad as the salesmen. They just wait until they get to the strip club.

koan;471408 wrote: That's not half as bad as the salesmen. They just wait until they get to the strip club.
Yah, my brother was in sales. I'm sure he's been to strip clubs back then. But now he is "happily married" and has a really busy full-time job and 2 kids. No time for strippers.

Saffron;471410 wrote: Yah, my brother was in sales. I'm sure he's been to strip clubs back then. But now he is "happily married" and has a really busy full-time job and 2 kids. No time for strippers.


I'm glad he got out before it was too late. There seemed to be a point of no return. I watched the newbies fight for morals but, if they stayed too long, they became lost souls wandering in the stale ponds of self delusion.

Magenta flame;471413 wrote: I don't call it lying, I call it .......ummmm.....practising for that big part in a block buster movie that will make me famous and rich to the point where all my relatives will just beg me for money and new houses and i'll have to lie to them and say "they didn't pay me a great deal and now all the money is tied up in stocks so I can't give you anything." then run off to New Zealand where i'll live like a Moari queen and have man servants as big as the Hulk... but better looking, and they'll make me primeminister and I'll bring about world peace. And it will get to the point where I throw all my Nobel peace prizes away to make room for my Academy awards. And then because I'm sooo loved I'll have all the best men in the world vying for my hand. But I'll see through them because they only want a piece of the action so the pre-nuptual agreement will be settled in that he has to live in a dungeon until I need him and so on and so on.

It really really did happen.


The weird thing is that real compulsives make up stories about simple things like: having rented a boat and learned to sail it and how much fun it was.

Heard that one specifically, then as soon as the recipient walked away the compulsive snickered. "Ha. Idiot."

Why people bother making things like this up...astounding really.

koan;471372 wrote: I worked in a car dealership as the night receptionist while saving up for college. During that time, as you can imagine, I heard a lot of lies.

There are different types of liars but the compulsive liars are the most interesting. One of the salesmen, in particular, would practice lying whenever there were no customers around to perform it on. He would wander over to my desk, make himself a coffee (I didn't "do" coffee) and launch into a random spiel. It could be about anything, but usually something that made him look good. He'd finish his story and I'd look him and say "you're so full of ****" He'd start to get offended, then realise he'd been seen through him, and laugh. He'd always come back and try it again later. I never figured out if he thought he'd fool me next time or not but, once in a while, I'd tell him it was "a good one." It seems a good liar needs practice. It only surprised me that he was able to continue enjoying it so much.
How do you think I feel?, I bought a car off him

Ok ok....so I lied....at least that's the truth :rolleyes:

Koan , You mean like selling all your worldly goods, moving to the UK and living a celebate life with a man named Spot?

YZGI;471422 wrote: Koan , You mean like selling all your worldly goods, moving to the UK and living a celebate life with a man named Spot?


Like I said, they make up simple things. Things not worth making up.



btw, I've got pictures to prove it. :wah:

koan;471419 wrote: The weird thing is that real compulsives make up stories about simple things like: having rented a boat and learned to sail it and how much fun it was.

Heard that one specifically, then as soon as the recipient walked away the compulsive snickered. "Ha. Idiot."

Why people bother making things like this up...astounding really.
They're like authors who don't write

:wah:

The first compulsive liar that I met was a friend in highschool. We hung out together all the time but only ever the two of us. She was a fountain of trivia. It took me a year before I finally heard her lying to someone else about something I knew she hadn't done. It was startling.

I started paying closer attention and it slowly became obvious. I had to go back over all the trivia I thought I know knew and check the reality. Turned out about half of it was wildly inaccurate. Trivia. Who would have thought?

It's not a nice feeling being the victim.

I remember one compulsive liar who, if you said you had a cold, she had pneumonia and nearly died. If you went on a date to dinner, she went on a dinner date in a hot air balloon. Her stories were ridiculous. She was only 22 and seen it all, done it all, been through it all. My friends and I would make up stories just to see how she would top them.

Another one I knew, worked for a tire company. Of course, according to him, he was part owner. His lies always involved making him sound more important in everything he did. He was a social member at the VFW and used to tell people he was the commander. :wah:

Great photos, MF

you look so happy!

I hate doing the "tourist" shot. spot had to make me get in one of the photos I took during my first week in the UK. That's the only one with me in it so far. :yh_pray

My mum told a lot of lies when we were kids, so much so i actually do think she ended up not being able to tell what was true & what was not

It was pretty hard for us as she expected us to back the lies up, really shitty position to be in whilst your a kid

Liars irritate me now, probably because of that

buttercup;471516 wrote: so much so i actually do think she ended up not being able to tell what was true & what was not




It almost makes ya feel sorry for them.



almost

some lies are sort of ok, like the little white one's to protect people but its the one's that have no reason do my head in :-5

I guess, even though it seems like a minor annoyance, compulsive lying (pathological) is not so minor when it goes on for years and years. It can lead a lot of devastation in its wake.



btw, my sympathies MF :wah

actually, I was talked into listening to an after dinner speech by an air traffic controller about...being an air traffic controller. Ended up laughing until I cried. One never knows.

My last partner, lover, mate, whatever you want to call him, was a pathological liar. He lied about big things, he lied about small things, he pretty much lied about everything. I hate lying and I hate that I made allowances for him. I did so because I knew he actually believed what he was saying which sort of made it more like fabricating than lying. Eventually it became quite pathetic. Also a big reason for his having to speed up the break up process with me was because I knew too many truths. He has to start over with someone else who will believe all of his bull****. His lying would often involve maligning someone elses character, in order to exonerate himself from being responsible for anything. He went so far as to tell my son who was 16 at the time..... Your mom is gay" That lie was to have an excuse for my not wanting to live with him anymore. The worst was telling people " Im a Viet Nam Vet. I used to cringe with shame for him everytime he said it. He actually sat at a desk sharpening pencils,during the last two years of the war and never left the US. It is a very serious character flaw. It can also be dangerous.

My ex was a compulsive lier. he would lie when the truth would have sounded better. i used to listen to him tell one lie after another on the phone ot any and all. He would tell me he was playing golf when in reality he was down the road at a neighbors playing cards. He NEVER told the truth. he even went so far to tell me that anybody stupid enough to believe him deserved what they got. he was esp. good at picking up women. i had several in the end call me and cry and tell me how bad they were had. what can you say? to bad , so sad, know the game, fell for it first. And whenever he was confronted he just wouldn't deal with any lies. I noticed he went through alot of people as so called friends because as they figured him out they all scattered or he had to move on to keep up the illusion of what ever he wanted to project about himself. Like a chamileon. he was an illusion. .........:-2

I think theres a big difference between exaggerating about the condition of a car and telling blatant lies to gain somebodys sympathy . The car dealer is trying to make a living ..im not saying his lies are any better at least i have the option of seeing first hand something myself . I personally find the sympathy junkie much more dangerous because everything they tell you is based on a lie/fantasy, they create drama because they have an addiction to people giving them sympathy - it makes somebody feel sorry for you and thats not real friendship in my eyes its making somebody pity you ........and most liars will go to great lengths to tell you their not lying :-5 i hate them .

The car dealership was the setting. I didn't listen in on their pitches, the profession attracts liars and turns honest people into liars. They get good at it or quit.

The recurring theme is that you usually don't find out someone is a pathological liar by catching them in a big one. It is an accumulation of mini lies that eventually clues you in. By then, it is even more frustrating because you realise that nothing is "sacred" every little thing you think you know about them is potentially trash.

pantsonfire321@aol.com;471782 wrote: I think theres a big difference between exaggerating about the condition of a car and telling blatant lies to gain somebodys sympathy . The car dealer is trying to make a living ..im not saying his lies are any better at least i have the option of seeing first hand something myself . I personally find the sympathy junkie much more dangerous because everything they tell you is based on a lie/fantasy, they create drama because they have an addiction to people giving them sympathy - it makes somebody feel sorry for you and thats not real friendship in my eyes its making somebody pity you ........and most liars will go to great lengths to tell you their not lying :-5 i hate them .


I agree, it goes without saying really that we expect car salesmen to lie to us, sympathy junkies are worse but i dont hate them, just see them as pathetic

We used to have someone who worked for us who used to lie all the time, he did it to make himself seem more important or interesting, he lied his way out of trouble if he did something wrong. But his lies became the truth to him.



A few years ago some money went missing so we called the police, we knew deep down that he had stolen it, all sorts of things pointed to it. All the staff and family who could have had access to the money were interviewed and the tapes analyised to see who was lying - he got away with it because he believed that he was telling the truth. Then he handed his notice in and left.



Then a couple of years later we met a former employee who had heard that he'd left us and asked why, when told she said that he used to pinch the odd small amount when she was working with him.



I hate lies, we all tell little white lies but I hate the real thing - my kids have all got into so much trouble for lying to hide something they've done - they'd have got into less trouble for telling the truth!!

Imladris;471843 wrote: We used to have someone who worked for us who used to lie all the time, he did it to make himself seem more important or interesting, he lied his way out of trouble if he did something wrong. But his lies became the truth to him.

A few years ago some money went missing so we called the police, we knew deep down that he had stolen it, all sorts of things pointed to it. All the staff and family who could have had access to the money were interviewed and the tapes analyised to see who was lying - he got away with it because he believed that he was telling the truth. Then he handed his notice in and left.



Then a couple of years later we met a former employee who had heard that he'd left us and asked why, when told she said that he used to pinch the odd small amount when she was working with him.



I hate lies, we all tell little white lies but I hate the real thing - my kids have all got into so much trouble for lying to hide something they've done - they'd have got into less trouble for telling the truth!!




You've hit the nail right on the head . Liars believe everything that comes out of their mouth so really they believe their telling the truth . I had a friend who was just like that she would make a complete song and dance about what she was saying to be the truth when in actual fact the holes in her lies where so enormous it was embarrassing . She used to leave her child (he was two) in the house on his own at night and once claimed to a neighbour that i (me) was babysitting ..that was when we realised how dangerous the problem was .........another example is [name deleted by Moderator] and the damage he did to this forum

There is a really neat article on lying here

If, as a small sample study shows, the average person lies 1.5 times a day, then society actually reinforces lying as a behaviour. This comes out as "acceptable" lies such as "I don't have change for a dollar" or "yes, the new haircut suits your personality"

English has 112 words for deception, each with a slightly different shade of meaning.

I'd say three main types of liars are problematic. Habitual liars, who lie significantly more than the average person, Compulsive liars, who lie without knowing why, and Pathological liars, who lie with malicious intent. If you include all three of the problematic types then it seems to encompass about 25% of the population. If you focus on just compulsive and pathological liars the number goes down to about 16%. That's still pretty scary. The sample groups are too small to be conclusive but, if right, that means 16 out of every hundred people you encounter has an anti-social lying problem.

Is there a category for recreational liars?

I actually am friends (still) with a compulsive liar. She does it when she's low, or when she doesn't know how to call for help. She's told me that she's been strangled by a man on a train (adn strangled herself with a scarf) that she's been kidnapped by her psycho ex, with a gun under the seat (both times police were involved..... and worst of all.... that her sister died in a car crash, and her father made her identify the body.... her sister is alive and well and recently had a beautiful baby boy.

She does admit that she lies about these things and does feel ashamed, but it doesn't stop her doing it again. I feel with this case, there is actually something mentally wrong with her and have tried in the past to push her towards counselling.

I would like to say though - that we do need to be careful with accusations, particularly if you think someone is a 'sympathy junkie' (what a horrible terminology) because, there are two possibilities here...

1 - They are lying and actually are crying out for attention and sympathy because they are deeply unhappy/ depressed/ fragilie. We do need to try not to attack these people, but also not pander to their wants.

2 - They ARE NOT lying. If someone appears to be telling an incredible series of events, unless you can prove that they are lying, then it's probably best to keep your opinions to yourself, as you could really be adding to someone's trauma. Sometimes, people just have a really awful time - and you can think to yourself that it can't possibly be real. Read the news - there's a good chance it is!

zinkyusa;472006 wrote: Is there a category for recreational liars?


Actors?

zinkyusa;472006 wrote: Is there a category for recreational liars?


that makes me think of all the men i have heard say "i only had two beers"

they aren't really lieing........they only remember the first one and the last one. lol. not the twenty four in between............

guppy;472100 wrote: that makes me think of all the men i have heard say "i only had two beers"

they aren't really lieing........they only remember the first one and the last one. lol. not the twenty four in between............
Thats not a recreational lie. That is a self preservation lie.:wah:

YZGI;472101 wrote: Thats not a recreational lie. That is a self preservation lie.:wah:


it a 'that's my story and i am sticking to it" huh? :wah:

guppy;472103 wrote: it a 'that's my story and i am sticking to it" huh? :wah:
If you have to come up with the number of beers you've had then usually you are already in trouble.

When I was about 19, one of my mates was a compulsive liar and it used to drive everyone crazy. He was known as "Johnny Rail" and he never twigged that it was an anagrammatic variation on "Billy Liar" :wah:

(Well it was funny at the time.............................................................honest )

Elvira;472089 wrote: I actually am friends (still) with a compulsive liar. She does it when she's low, or when she doesn't know how to call for help. She's told me that she's been strangled by a man on a train (adn strangled herself with a scarf) that she's been kidnapped by her psycho ex, with a gun under the seat (both times police were involved..... and worst of all.... that her sister died in a car crash, and her father made her identify the body.... her sister is alive and well and recently had a beautiful baby boy.



She does admit that she lies about these things and does feel ashamed, but it doesn't stop her doing it again. I feel with this case, there is actually something mentally wrong with her and have tried in the past to push her towards counselling.



I would like to say though - that we do need to be careful with accusations, particularly if you think someone is a 'sympathy junkie' (what a horrible terminology) because, there are two possibilities here...



1 - They are lying and actually are crying out for attention and sympathy because they are deeply unhappy/ depressed/ fragilie. We do need to try not to attack these people, but also not pander to their wants.



2 - They ARE NOT lying. If someone appears to be telling an incredible series of events, unless you can prove that they are lying, then it's probably best to keep your opinions to yourself, as you could really be adding to someone's trauma. Sometimes, people just have a really awful time - and you can think to yourself that it can't possibly be real. Read the news - there's a good chance it is!


:-6 :-6 wise lady:-4

I don't care for liars. Especially those who constantly do it to make themselves appear better than others. Or the ones who do it to purposely hurt others.

But I do enjoy listening when the men get together to tell their "tall tales". Some of them get so ridiculous you can't help but call B.S.

guppy;472103 wrote: it a 'that's my story and i am sticking to it" huh? :wah:


And HOW big was the fish??? Oh, sorry Guppy... I mean ummm Big DEER!!!

I know people who are 'creative' with the truth to either cover up a mistake or for their own gain (promotion etc).



Down right lies make me mad...



The worst lie must be someone who says they have a terminal illness either to gain sympathy/attention or to get money,

I worked with a woman who was Christian when speaking to Christians, Jewish when speaking with Jews. She was in remission from cancer (I still want to believe she wouldn't make that up) and when I told her I was put on bedrest, while pregnant, so I couldn't work for a while she exclaimed "thank God your here. I might be having a kidney failure. If I have to leave you can take over for me." She only looked at menus to figure out what she wouldn't be eating for the day, everything had to be special order. She was unreal with her "special needs". I have no idea how much was real and how much wasn't because I just didn't want to know.

Another friend found a doctor who would prescribe whatever she asked for and she ended up with every new age disorder I've heard of. I think she was a hypochondriac though. Different from lying.

Another friend found a doctor who would prescribe whatever she asked for and she ended up with every new age disorder I've heard of. I think she was a hypochondriac though. Different from lying.


I had one of those "friends" to, who of course turned out to be majorally two faced and caused me alot of grief....She always had something wrong with her and had a pharmacy in her cabinet. The sad part was that she had 3 girls and she had them believing that something was always wrong with them too, depended on medicine to get through the days...I'm not a strong believer in medicine, although I know some of it it necessary and helpful, but having steriods and antiboiotics in the house all the time just didn't set well with me.