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i meet Paul Macartney yesterday he seemed really nice i said sorry to here about your marraige break up i said do you think you one ever go down on one knee again

he said look i'd rather you called her Heather

speechless.







:D

:wah: :wah: is it late or does that deserve the amount of laughter I just gave it??

I'm still laughing! :wah:

Uh

OK I just got it..

:-3 periods and commas are a good thing. I don't get it.

Rain;544700 wrote: :-3 periods and commas are a good thing. I don't get it.
me too rain.

Its a tasteless joke about an amputee.

Oh thanx.

DesignerGal;544727 wrote: Its a tasteless joke about an amputee.


oh come on lighten up i was pulling her leg for petes sake

how about this one ...



he laid her on the river bank his heart all a quiver



he undid her suspender belt her leg shot in the river



by sir paul too :rolleyes:

Soberano;545001 wrote: It made me smile Jimbo, i see she went for custody of the smoothing plane and sandpaper in the divorce.


:wah: :wah:

jimbo;544844 wrote: oh come on lighten up i was pulling her leg for petes sake


real cool.

DesignerGal;544727 wrote: Its a tasteless joke about an amputee.


Hey jimbo I think she accidently made a funny.

DesignerGal;547386 wrote: real cool.


my partner is disabled , one of my friends lost a leg in a motorbike accident so i dont normally tell jokes about this subject , but anything anyone says about the gold digging , horrible cow is fine by me , unfortunately its sir paul who does not appear to have a leg to stand on in the courts to stop , said gold digger from making a fortune , by the way did you know she is a hooker in real life too :rolleyes:

As Sir Paul would put it. (cue Liverpool accent)

Here is a song about the split..

C'mon everybody, sing along.

Sing to tune of "Let it be"

Well it turns out i've a pile of trouble, Heather Mills is leaving me

But I do not care, She's got one Knee.

She is a greedy harpy, trying to take all of my cash off me,

but she keeps falling over, with one knee.

Just one knee, just one knee...she's got one leg less than me,

Robbing ex McCartney's got one knee.

And when Her jackal lawyers try to rob me of my Royalties,

She will stand on one leg...unlike me.

And if she wants to go off out I'll laugh with unabounded glee ,

her false legs in the garden, it was me.

Just one knee, just one knee...she's got one leg less than me,

Pan faced lying slappers got one knee.

And when she gets the book deal, to tell a lot of tales on me,

I'll have her tied in red tape, legally,

I once was a Beatle, she is just a bird who walks funny

Lying limping harlot with one knee.

Just one knee, just one knee... monopedal, can't you see

That just serves her right for leaving me.

Thank you, and good night...

Just to keep the whole insulting a disabled person thing in perspective - disabled people have a sense of humour too and quite often direct that at themselves.



Jim Davidson (British comedian) often tells this true story - (Jim often does concerts for the troops stationed abroad and is very supportive of them)



He was chatting to a disabled veteran of the Falklands War and Simon Weston was mentioned (Simon was very badly burned when the ship he was in was torpedoed and a documentary of his injuries and battle back to health was made). Simon came into the room and the veteran said 'Hello Simon, we were just talking about you, were your ears burning.......again'



No offence was meant or taken.

Ooooh Hugh - you're in trouble now!!!!:wah:

Imladris;547402 wrote: Just to keep the whole insulting a disabled person thing in perspective - disabled people have a sense of humour too and quite often direct that at themselves.



Jim Davidson (British comedian) often tells this true story - (Jim often does concerts for the troops stationed abroad and is very supportive of them)



He was chatting to a disabled veteran of the Falklands War and Simon Weston was mentioned (Simon was very badly burned when the ship he was in was torpedoed and a documentary of his injuries and battle back to health was made). Simon came into the room and the veteran said 'Hello Simon, we were just talking about you, were your ears burning.......again'



No offence was meant or taken.


Well said Immy

SuzyB;547407 wrote: Well said Immy


Thanks Suzy xx

my mate with one leg is always telling jokes about his one leg, and he wins quite a lot of money by betting people that they can hit him as hard as they like with a pool cue and he wont feel it , he of course sticks out his false leg people hit it hard then realise and people always pay up :wah: :wah:

Hugh Janus;547401 wrote: As Sir Paul would put it. (cue Liverpool accent)



Here is a song about the split..



C'mon everybody, sing along.



Sing to tune of "Let it be"



Well it turns out i've a pile of trouble, Heather Mills is leaving me

But I do not care, She's got one Knee.

She is a greedy harpy, trying to take all of my cash off me,

but she keeps falling over, with one knee.



Just one knee, just one knee...she's got one leg less than me,

Robbing ex McCartney's got one knee.



And when Her jackal lawyers try to rob me of my Royalties,

She will stand on one leg...unlike me.

And if she wants to go off out I'll laugh with unabounded glee ,

her false legs in the garden, it was me.



Just one knee, just one knee...she's got one leg less than me,

Pan faced lying slappers got one knee.



And when she gets the book deal, to tell a lot of tales on me,

I'll have her tied in red tape, legally,

I once was a Beatle, she is just a bird who walks funny

Lying limping harlot with one knee.



Just one knee, just one knee... monopedal, can't you see

That just serves her right for leaving me.



Thank you, and good night...


thanks huge thats really great , i will so be sending that on :wah: :wah:

jimbo;547392 wrote: my partner is disabled , one of my friends lost a leg in a motorbike accident so i dont normally tell jokes about this subject , but anything anyone says about the gold digging , horrible cow is fine by me , unfortunately its sir paul who does not appear to have a leg to stand on in the courts to stop , said gold digger from making a fortune , by the way did you know she is a hooker in real life too :rolleyes:


And I bet you have alot of black friends too, so anytime you make racist jokes, its cool.

And do you know this woman? I mean, aside from all the crap you read about her in the media??

DesignerGal;547474 wrote: And I bet you have alot of black friends too, so anytime you make racist jokes, its cool.



And do you know this woman? I mean, aside from all the crap you read about her in the media??


whats got you so hopping mad , its only a joke

Gee I thought it was really funny

jesse b;547479 wrote: grow up it was only a joke

and people wonder why members are leaving


I am grown. And I still didnt think it was funny.

Clipper;547519 wrote: I know armless and legless Veterans and all they do is tell jokes about being such. Of course the jokes go over better with MATURE folks..........


Im mature. And I still dont think its funny.

jimbo;547521 wrote: whats got you so hopping mad , its only a joke


IM not mad, I just didnt think it was funny.

Am I not allowed to say I didnt think it was funny? Im a paying member here, arent I allowed to express an opinion? I am not forcing you to retract it or not make any other tasteless jokes am I? I'm merely stating I didnt think it was funny?

Anybody else have anything they want me to answer to?

ETA: Without telling me I am immature, to grow up, or mad, please?

DesignerGal;547474 wrote: And I bet you have alot of black friends too, so anytime you make racist jokes, its cool.



And do you know this woman? I mean, aside from all the crap you read about her in the media??




i try to tell a harmless joke that no one else seems to take offense too , you try to brand me a racist next , i ignore that too , but still you keep going on taking every one out of context is there some problem i'm not seeing here , do you have a problem with jimbo , or the forum , the joke as jokes go was very harmless , dg i'm trying to have fun , if you dont like it dont read my posts coz thats what i'm all about, have a nice day now:D

It's no laughing matter, jimbo

Mrs Mills- McCartney is said to be distraught over the split "He has been my crutch for so long!!" She said in an earlier briefing, "I have no idea why this has happened, I'm stumped"

jimbo;547568 wrote: i try to tell a harmless joke that no one else seems to take offense too , you try to brand me a racist next , i ignore that too , but still you keep going on taking every one out of context is there some problem i'm not seeing here , do you have a problem with jimbo , or the forum , the joke as jokes go was very harmless , dg i'm trying to have fun , if you dont like it dont read my posts coz thats what i'm all about, have a nice day now:D


I just wanted to say I DIDNT THINK IT WAS FUNNY! Period. Full Stop. End of story.

DesignerGal;547573 wrote: I just wanted to say I DIDNT THINK IT WAS FUNNY! Period. Full Stop. End of story.


why not

koan;547572 wrote: It's no laughing matter, jimbo

Mrs Mills- McCartney is said to be distraught over the split "He has been my crutch for so long!!" She said in an earlier briefing, "I have no idea why this has happened, I'm stumped"


You're a class act, koan.

[quote=DesignerGal;547558]

Anybody else have anything they want me to answer to?



quote]



I don't want to get into an arguement with you because I think that would be pointless and not help either of us. But I would like to ask you if you have ever found a sick or tasteless joke funny?



I would be interested to see if it is a cultural thing, because here we do like those types of jokes, as soon as there is a celebrity making an idiot of themselves or somebody in the public eye suffering some misfortune or other someone else will be cracking jokes at their expense - does that happen as much in the US?



I do understand that humour is a personal thing - I for one don't find things like Monty Python funny but love Blackadder and slapstick like Laurel and Hardy.

koan;547572 wrote: It's no laughing matter, jimbo

Mrs Mills- McCartney is said to be distraught over the split "He has been my crutch for so long!!" She said in an earlier briefing, "I have no idea why this has happened, I'm stumped"


:wah: :wah: thats good ,but some people wont stand for you having fun , maybe my joke was a bit limp ,

jimbo;547580 wrote: :wah: :wah: thats good ,but some people wont stand for you having fun , maybe my joke was a bit limp ,


Many have attributed their problems to having started with the present that Paul had got her prior to the wedding; he gave her a new prosthetic leg for Christmas but that was just a stocking-stuffer.

koan;547589 wrote: Many have attributed their problems to having started with the present that Paul had got her prior to the wedding; he gave her a new prosthetic leg for Christmas but that was just a stocking-stuffer.


yeah he really went out on a limb there

jimbo;547593 wrote: yeah he really went out on a limb there


He wanted so much for her to love him he ended up sticking his foot in his mouth.

eta: imitation is the best form of flattery. I know. It's weak.

I heard she wants half of everything. Do you reckon she allready took half of her shoes?

i think thats it dg and i have just got off on the wrong foot ..

Is this thread related to Soberano's "One foot challenge"? I think we should be told.

spot;547621 wrote: Is this thread related to Soberano's "One foot challenge"? I think we should be told.




Spot, take the challenge - I can just imagine you trying on all your socks!!!

spot;547621 wrote: Is this thread related to Soberano's "One foot challenge"? I think we should be told.




good point dg , put a sock in it .. how many do you think guys ???...



only joking d g

Imladris;547577 wrote:

I don't want to get into an arguement with you because I think that would be pointless and not help either of us. But I would like to ask you if you have ever found a sick or tasteless joke funny?



I would be interested to see if it is a cultural thing, because here we do like those types of jokes, as soon as there is a celebrity making an idiot of themselves or somebody in the public eye suffering some misfortune or other someone else will be cracking jokes at their expense - does that happen as much in the US?






No, normally I dont find sick or tasteless jokes funny. They are called sick and tasteless for a reason.

I dont know if its a cultural thing. How is Heather having only one leg, Heather making an idiot of herself.

Im sure it happens in the US, but that doesnt mean I have to go mainstream and find it funny.

Jokes I find funny dont involve someone's physical disabilities, birth defects, skin color or mental status. I just dont think that is funny. But hey thats me and Im allowed to think so.

DesignerGal;547627 wrote: No, normally I dont find sick or tasteless jokes funny. They are called sick and tasteless for a reason.



I dont know if its a cultural thing. How is Heather having only one leg, Heather making an idiot of herself.



Im sure it happens in the US, but that doesnt mean I have to go mainstream and find it funny.



Jokes I find funny dont involve someone's physical disabilities, birth defects, skin color or mental status. I just dont think that is funny. But hey thats me and Im allowed to think so.


how about fat bald jokes , are they funny , if so i dont mind if you tell a few at my expense

Didn't Heather describe herself as an amateur detective back in the late eighties? I heard Sir Paul rang Whipsnade asking if they could lend him a five-toed sleuth for an album cover shoot and they said she was the only one in the country. That accent gets him in trouble every time he speaks.

DesignerGal;547627 wrote: No, normally I dont find sick or tasteless jokes funny. They are called sick and tasteless for a reason.

I dont know if its a cultural thing. How is Heather having only one leg, Heather making an idiot of herself.

Im sure it happens in the US, but that doesnt mean I have to go mainstream and find it funny.

Jokes I find funny dont involve someone's physical disabilities, birth defects, skin color or mental status. I just dont think that is funny. But hey thats me and Im allowed to think so.


I think folks over here feel that way as she played stupid PR stunts to try to make Sir Paul look bad and it's all backfired on her. People may feel sorry for her, but personally I see no difference between her and Anna Nicole Smith.