ForumGarden

very good :wah:



do you hear about the blond who was taking driving lessons





she undid the window to let the clutch out :wah: :wah:

this blonde wants to go fishing so she hacks a hole in the ice



when a loud voice booms out there are no fish there





so the blonde moves on about 20 feet and starts to make another hole



the voice booms out there are no fish there either



so she moves on another 20 feet statrs to dig again



the voice booms out look there are no fish any where here



the blonde says is that you god ?



the voice booms no i'm the manager of the ice rink

Barcode

It was the blonde's first day at her new job as a cashier at the local grocers.

When checking out with just a few items, a customer placed one of those order dividers, that they keep by the cash register, between his things and the items from the woman behind him in line so they wouldn't get mixed.

After the blonde had scanned all of his items, she picked up the divider and began looking it carefully over.

Obviously, she had been looking for a barcode and upon not finding one, she asked, "Do you know how much this is?"

:-5

Petishun To End Blond Hairassment

We Can't Take No More! We blonds at the ofise are tierd of all the, the dum stoopid jokes about us. We think this is hairassment. It causes us graite stress and makes our roots turn dark. We have hierd a loyer and he is talking to the loyers at Clairol. We will take this all the way to the supreem cort if we have two. Juj Thomas knos all about hairassment and he will be on are side. We of also talked to the govner to make a new law to stop this pursicushun. We want a law that makes peepol tell brewnet jokes as much as blond jokes and every so offen a red hed joke. If we don't get our way we will not date anybody that ain't blond and we will make up jokes about you and we will laff.

Sined by the blonds at the ofise: XOXOXOXO OXOXOXOX XOXOXOXO OXOXOXOX (sined with a pensul so you can erace it if you make a mistake)

Blonde Learns To Fly A Helicopter

A blonde went to a flight school, insisting she wanted to learn to fly that day. As all the planes were currently in use, the owner agreed to instruct her on how to pilot the helicopter solo by radio. He took her out, showed her how to start it and gave her the basics and sent her on her way.

After she climbed 1000 feet, she radioed in. "I'm doing great! I love it! The view is so beautiful, and I'm starting to get the hang of this."

After 2000 feet, she radioed again, saying how easy it was becoming to fly. The instructor watched her climb over 3000 feet, and was beginning to worry that she hadn't radioed in.

A few minutes later, he watched in horror as she crashed about half a mile away. He ran over and pulled her from the wreckage.

When he asked what happened, she said, "I don't know! Everything was going fine, but as I got higher, I was starting to get cold. I can't remember anything after I turned off the big fan."

Blonde License Plate

Three Blondes Change a Lightbulb

Three blondes are attempting to change a light bulb. One of them decides to call 911.

Blonde: We need help. We're three blondes changing a light bulb.

Operator: Hmmmmm. You put in a fresh bulb?

Blonde: Yes.

Operator: The power in the house in on?

Blonde: Of course.

Operator: And the switch is on?

Blonde: Yes, yes.

Operator: And the bulb still won't light up?

Blonde: No, it's working fine.

Operator: Then what's the problem?

Blonde: We got dizzy spinning the ladder around, and we all fell and hurt ourselves.

rap your a star :-3



but not a rap star

The Toilet Brush

A blonde, a redhead and a brunette were at work one day when they decided to get in on the weekly raffle. They bought five $1 tickets each, seeing it was for charity.

The following week, when the raffle was drawn, they each won a prize. The brunette won the first prize - a whole year's supply of gourmet spaghetti sauce. The redhead was the winner of the second prize - six month's supply of extra-long gourmet spaghetti. The blonde won the sixth prize - a toilet brush.

At the office water cooler about a week later, the brunette asked the others how they were enjoying their prizes.

"Great," said the redhead, "I love spaghetti!"

"So do I," said the brunette. "And how's the toilet brush?" the brunette asked the blonde.

"Not so good," the blonde said, "I think I'll go back to paper."

Medical Terminology for Blondes 101



Artery -- Study of paintings

Bacteria -- Back door of cafeteria

Barium -- What doctors do when treatment fails

Bowel -- Letter like A.E.I.O.U. and sometimes Y.

Caesarean section -- District in Rome

Cat scan -- Searching for kitty

Cauterize -- Made eye contact with her

Colic -- Sheep dog

Coma -- A punctuation mark

Congenital -- Friendly

D&C -- Where Washington is

Diarrhea -- Journal of daily events

Dilate -- To live long

Enema -- Not a friend

Fester -- Quicker

Fibula -- A small lie

G.I. Series -- Soldiers' ball game

Grippe -- Suitcase

Hangnail -- Coathook

Impotent -- Distinguished, well known

Intense pain -- Torture in a teepee

Labor pain -- Got hurt at work

Medical staff -- Doctor's cane

Morbid -- Higher offer

Nitrate -- Cheaper than day rate

Node -- Was aware of

Outpatient -- Person who has fainted

Pelvis -- Cousin of Elvis

Post operative -- Letter carrier

Protein -- Favoring young people

Rectum -- It almost killed him

Recovery room -- Place to do upholstery

Rheumatic -- Amorous

Scar -- Rolled tobacco leaf

Secretion -- Hiding anything

Seizure -- Roman emperor

Serology -- Study of knighthood

Tablet -- Small table

Terminal illness -- Sickness at airport

Tibia -- Country in North Africa

Tumor -- An extra pair

Urine -- Opposite of you're out

Varicose -- Located nearby

Vein -- Conceited

Birds and The Bees



A father asked his 11-year-old son if he knew about the birds and the bees.



I don't want to know!" the child said, bursting into tears.

Promise me you won't tell me!"



Confused, the father asked what was wrong.



The boy sobbed, "When I was six, I got the 'There's no Santa' speech. "At seven, I got the 'There's no Easter Bunny' speech. When I was eight, you hit me with the 'There's no Tooth Fairy' speech. If you're going to tell me that grownups don't really get laid, I'll have nothing left to live for."