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A friend confides to you that he has committed a particular crime and you promise never to tell. Discovering that an innocent person has been accused of the crime, you plead with your friend to give himself up. He refuses and reminds you of your promise. What should you do? In general, under what conditions should promises be broken?

The good of the many outweigh the needs of the few.

I would tell. It is better to break a promise to a friend, then stand before God one day to explain why you would hide something like this, and let an innocent person suffer.

Hamster wrote: I would not have made the promise in the first place..I cannot keep secrets!

I think it is more a question of should you make the promise in the first place..not should it be broken


Good observation, Hamster. I actually got it off a moral dilemmas website I was checking out.

like grl up there. I made a promise to God first. Oh that is so hard cuz I keep my promises but still has to be like grl up there.

I would ask myself what is the most loving thing to do and then do it.

Now I see Hammie

and I agree with Hammie. It is best to not make the promise in the first place.

flopstock wrote: Let me add a kicker here...



what if the innocent person accused was you?:sneaky:


Interesting. I think the dilemma here is, it would seem as if you are "accusing" the other person just to save our own @ss.

That is a unique twist-that is no friend that would let you be accussed of something they did!

Hamster wrote: One of the things I was always taught was to NEVER make a promise if I had the slightest feeling I might not be able to keep it. Since here we are talking about making a promise involving other people and events then it is out of your control whether you can keep it or not.

For example if you made me a promise to do 20 sit ups a day-you could keep that promise easily-but if you promised to get me to do 20 a day..that would be a hard one to keep :wah:

I don't make many promises at all but the ones I do make I keep (promise!!) :wah:


I hear what you are saying. My question would be "how do you tell your friend who has just confided this very important confidence to you, how do you say "no I won't promise to not tell". I mean what if you confided something to your friend and after you had already confided, your friend said no I won't promise.

I am not criticizing. It just makes me wonder, how do I do that.

Heres my take. Keep all promises that cause no harm on others. Any promise kept that might be causing harm to another is void.

It would totally depend on what the crime was and the situation involved. If my friend molested a child or raped a woman (why the hell would I have a friend like that!?) you bet I'm telling. Innocent person accused or not.



If my friend killed someone in self defense or another's defense then I would most likely remain silent and pray it worked out. It would be tough to let another person be accused and if it came to their imprisonment or death, I might have to tell.



It's the accused person part that is the issue. Otherwise if my friend robbed a store or something like that I would let it go. But making another pay for his crime is a tough question.

Hamster wrote: I know what you mean..having got to that situation it would be difficult to go forward from there...How would you let them know you didn't want to promise not to tell..Its a tough one

My friends know not to tell me scerets cos I can't keep them!!


Sounds like me too.

I think with this promise thing, we know too much to start out with. Maybe if we didn't know that somebody else got blamed for it. We wouldn't have known at first. You know I still think you are right and I wouldn't be able to promise even in the first place. I think I would have to say "when you commit a crime you have to pay the price". I would expect to pay the price for a crime I committed.

I wouldn't be tellin' anyone either:wah:

It is not fair for someone to hold you to a promise if it might be harmful to yourself or others.

It would seem the the grivity of the crime would have to come into question. If it was just some "slap the wrist" kind of crime, & someone innocent got blamed, then I would stick by my promise to my friend. That's if I made the promise to my friend it in the first place. But if it was really a serious crime, & your friend gets you involved by asking you to promise not to tell anyone, thereby putting yourself in jeapordy, then that friend is not really your friend, to put you on the spot like that. So it boils down to, I would keep my promise to my friend for a minor infraction, but most likely would not promise to keep a major crime secrete. :rolleyes:

Hamster wrote: And how would I feel knowing I had aided a criminal to get away with a crime...that would go against my promise to myself


I meant that I wouldn't be telling if I committed the crime.:-5 :-5 :-5 :-5

If someone innocent were accused and it looked likely that they'd be convicted, I'd tell my "friend" that, either THEY confess, or I would tell!

My promise was to hide his/her guilt....not let an innocent person hang.

And, to tell the truth, my respect for this "friend" is dwindling by the minute.

Lulu2 wrote: If someone innocent were accused and it looked likely that they'd be convicted, I'd tell my "friend" that, either THEY confess, or I would tell!

My promise was to hide his/her guilt....not let an innocent person hang.

And, to tell the truth, my respect for this "friend" is dwindling by the minute.


i agree with you lu.

Well the problem for me is the... "...and I promised not to tell" part.

I can't make that promise, and no true friend would ever expect me to.

I would have to tell. If a friend of mine would be willing to let an innocent person take the rap for something really serious... I would have to acknowledge that they could no longer be a friend of mine. I have often said that silence can make one as guilty as a person doing or speaking evil.

Yes...well, to repeat myself....I promised a friend I'd keep quiet....I DID NOT promise to let my friend "hang" an innocent person. So...either my friend 'fesses up, or I break that promise.

My loyalty isn't extended to hanging someone else.

Lulu2 wrote: If someone innocent were accused and it looked likely that they'd be convicted, I'd tell my "friend" that, either THEY confess, or I would tell!

My promise was to hide his/her guilt....not let an innocent person hang.

And, to tell the truth, my respect for this "friend" is dwindling by the minute.




:wah: