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j. Why did the chicken cross the road

- don't know but I'd love to meet the one that did infront of the idiot who wrote a joke about it

Why did the cow cross the road?



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It was the chicken's day off. :p

Why did the man cross the road?

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Who knows why the hell men do anything??



:wah:

Keith W wrote: What did Colonel Saunders say when the chicken crossed the road?

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Damn, I missed one!


Why did the pervert cross the road?

A. Couldn't get his **** out of the chicken's A***!

weinbeck wrote: Why did the pervert cross the road?

A. Couldn't get his **** out of the chicken's A***!


First chicken: I think I'll cross over to the other side of the road...

Second: DON'T!! For Christ's sake, you'll never hear the end of it!!

weinbeck wrote: First chicken: I think I'll cross over to the other side of the road...

Second: DON'T!! For Christ's sake, you'll never hear the end of it!!


For the benefit of those who weren't around in the 1960's, the original joke which appeared on Val Parnell's Sunday Night at the London Palladium was a double act as follows:

Commedian: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Compere: I don't know. Why did the chicken cross the road?

Commedian: To get his old age pension (he laughs at his own joke)

Compere (feining confusion). I don't get it.

Commedian: No, you won't. Not until you're sixty-five! BOOM BOOM!

Crummy, eh? It's almost as bad as the "You can look, but you can't touch, as the actress said to the Bishop" which spawned almost as many variations as the chicken joke. That too was from the same era.

Why did the chicken cross the road.

To get away from Colonel Saunders.:guitarist

that's great ya'all! that post took a spin of others comin' in and tellin' their own stuff and that's awsome!! thanks bunches for the history on it, cause i didnt even think to ask. Keep'em comin' everybody!

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?



Plato: For the greater good.

Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.

Machiavelli: So that its subjects will view it with admiration,

as a chicken which has the daring and courage to

boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom

among them has the strength to contend with such a

paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the

princely chicken's dominion maintained.



Thomas de Torquemada: Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.

Timothy Leary: Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment

would let it take.



Nietzsche: Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road

gazes also across you.

Oliver North: National Security was at stake.

B.F. Skinner: Because the external influences which had pervaded its

sensorium from birth had caused it to develop in such a

fashion that it would tend to cross roads, even while

believing these actions to be of its own free will.

Carl Jung: The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt

necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at

this historical juncture, and therefore

synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.

Jean-Paul Sartre: In order to act in good faith and be true to itself,

the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.



Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed

the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

Aristotle: To actualize its potential.

Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-

nature.

Howard Cosell: It may very well have been one of the most astonishing

events to grace the annals of history. An historic,

unprecedented avian biped with the temerity to attempt

such an herculean achievement formerly relegated to

homo sapien pedestrians is truly a remarkable occurence.

Salvador Dali: The Fish.

Darwin: It was the logical next step after coming down from

the trees.

Emily Dickinson: Because it could not stop for death.

Ralph Waldo Emerson: It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.

Johann von Goethe: The eternal hen-principle made it do it.

Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.

Werner Heisenberg: We are not sure which side of the road the chicken

was on, but it was moving very fast.



Jack Nicholson: 'Cause it (censored) wanted to. That's the (censored)

reason.

Pyrrho the Skeptic: What road?

Ronald Reagan: I forget.

John Sununu: The Air Force was only too happy to provide the

transportation, so quite understandably the chicken

availed himself of the opportunity.

The Sphinx: You tell me.

Mr. T: If you saw me coming you'd cross the road too!

Henry David Thoreau: To live deliberately ... and suck all the marrow

out of life.

Mark Twain: The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.



Zeno of Elea: To prove it could never reach the other side.

Chaucer: So priketh hem nature in hir corages.

Wordsworth: To wander lonely as a cloud.



Keats: Philosophy will clip a chicken's wings.

Blake: To see heaven in a wild fowl.

Othello: Jealousy.

Supreme Soviet: There has never been a chicken in this photograph.

Oscar Wilde: Why, indeed? One's social engagements whilst in

town ought never expose one to such barbarous

inconvenience - although, perhaps, if one must cross a

road, one may do far worse than to cross it as the

chicken in question.

Kafka: Hardly the most urgent enquiry to make of a low-grade

insurance clerk who woke up that morning as a hen.

Swift: It is, of course, inevitable that such a loathsome,

filth-ridden and degraded creature as Man should assume

to question the actions of one in all respects his

superior.

Macbeth: To have turned back were as tedious as to go o'er.

Whitehead: Clearly, having fallen victim to the fallacy of

misplaced concreteness.

Freud: An die andere Seite zu kommen. (Much laughter)

Hamlet: That is not the question.

Donne: It crosseth for thee.

You forgot Charlie Brown.........it couldn't

Why don’t blind people parachute?

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It scares the dog.

The chicken........to buy some Girl Guide cookies:p

lol. i needed a laugh after today's car accident. read it in the journal forum. thanks guys. i needed that

The chicken.....................to get to the outhouse:-3

Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road

According to Dr. Seuss



Would you, could you cross the street

On your two small chicken feet?

I would not, could not cross the street

On my two small chicken feet.

Across the road I will not scram

Even though a fowl I am.

Would you cross it in Japan

To flee Godzilla and Rodan

Not in Japan

Godzilla and Rodan

I would not, could not cross the street

On my two small chicken feet.

Across the road I will not scram

Even though a fowl I am.

Would you cross the road and cluck

And jump to avoid the speeding truck?

Not with a cluck

to avoid a truck

Not in Japan

Godzilla and Rodan

I would not, could not cross the street

On my two small chicken feet

Across the road I will not scram

Even though a fowl I am.

Would you hop across the road

As though you were a garden toad?

Not across the road

as though a toad

Not with a cluck

to avoid a truck

Not in Japan

Godzilla and Rodan

I would not could not cross the street

On my two small chicken feet.

Across the road I will not scram

Even though a fowl I am.

Would you cross it in the night

Lit by passing car headlight?

Not in the night

With car headlight

Not across the road

As though a toad

Not with a cluck

To avoid a truck

Not in Japan

Godzilla and Rodan

I would not could not cross the street

On my two small chicken feet.

Across the road I will not scram

Even though a fowl I am.

Please dear chicken give it a try

For across the road you can not fly.

Alright! Alright! I'll give it a try

For it is true, chickens can't fly.

Hey! It's not bad, infact it's neat!

I truly love to cross the street.

Across the road I LOVE to scram.

I cross the road, a fowl I am.