Grandkids sa the darndest things

[Grumpaz]

My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked

Me how old I was, and I told him, "62." He was quiet for a moment, and then

He asked, "Did you start at 1?"

**********

After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old

Slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the

Children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. At last

She threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them

Back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the

Three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"

**********

A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood

Was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a

Tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked

Wild raspberries in the woods." The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in.

At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"

**********

My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how

You and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo while I asked, "No, how

Are we alike?" "You're both old," he replied.

***********

A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather' s word

Processor. She told him she was writing a story. "What's it about?" he asked. "I

Don't know," she replied. "I can't read."

***********

I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided

To test her. I would point out something and ask what color it was. She

Would tell me, and always she was correct. But it was fun for me, so I

Continued. At last she headed for the door, saying sagely, "Grandma, I think

You should try to figure out some of these yourself!"

***********

A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were ready to

Discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it

Was. Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted, "Thou shall not take

The covers off thy neighbor's wife."

***********

Our five-year-old grandson couldn't wait to tell his grandfather about the

Movie we had watched on television, "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea." The

Scenes with the submarine and the giant octopus had kept him wide-eyed. In

The middle of the telling, my husband interrupted Mark, "What caused the

Submarine to sink?" With a look of incredulity Mark replied, "Grampa, it

Was the 20,000 leaks!!"

************

When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights

Off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few

Fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, "It's

No use, Grandpa The mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights. "

*************

When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not

Sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandma," he advised. "Mine says I'm four to

Six."

*************

A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, "Grandma,

Guess what? We learned how to make babies today."

The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool.

"That's interesting, " she said, "How do you make babies?"

"It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'I' and add 'es'"

**************

Children's Logic:

"Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher. The small boy

Wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The teacher took the lad

Aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked.

Sure," said the young boy confidently. "It means carrying a child."

*************

A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home

One day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire

Truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's duties

They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster.

"No, said another, "he's just for good luck." A third child brought the

Argument to a close. "They use the dogs", she said firmly, "to find the

Fire hydrant."

[cherandbuster]

GPaz

[CheshireCat]

[Bryn Mawr]

helefra wrote: :yh_rotfl :yh_clap

Good job I wasn't at work when I read this one.


'twas the last one about the fire hydrant that got me - wonderful.

[Rapunzel]

Bryn Mawr wrote: 'twas the last one about the fire hydrant that got me - wonderful.


Me too! :yh_rotfl

:yh_rotfl OMG those were just sooooooooooooooooo cute! :yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl

[CheshireCat]

We were riding in the truck with my ex and his daughter, she was about 3. Todd was an avid hunter and we were pointing out all the turkey's in the fields. Todd has been on the outdoor shows for duck calling and turkey calling, he is a national champ, so he was shoing off. He asked his daughter if she thought she'd be a good turkey caller too. She said sure, and at the top of her lungs yelled "HERE TURKEYS!!"

Too cute:-6