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Another thread got me thinking of this. I have to wonder why you see so many people, men and women, who insist on wearing clothes that do not flatter them?

You have the heavy people who wear clothes a few sizes too small, or the clingy fabrics. Women in the halter tops, letting the belly hang out. Men in the shrunken t_shirts with the beer belly showing.

Thing is, there is no reason for a large person to not wear clothes that suit them, and fit properly. Being heavy myself, I do get agrivated when I look for clothes in my budget that look OK...but I do find them.

Also, what about older people who wear clothing much to young for their age? Do we really want to see a 70 year old in a mini skirt, and sequined halter?

And for all the men out there...no matter what your size..please if you are out in public, wear a shirt!! And by the way...a 300 pound man has no business wearing a t-shirt that says "No fat chicks".:-5

Marie5656 wrote: And by the way...a 300 pound man has no business wearing a t-shirt that says "No fat chicks".:-5


Oh that's good :rolleyes:

:wah: That is good, Marie.

Well, I get numerous comments about my hair-why is it long at my age? But, why would I want it short? I even had it trimmed today, oh, 5-6 inches. But I do not want short hair. But I hear negative comments all the time-it is clean, neat and braided or up most of the time. Why do I want it permed or colored for?

I am a non-conformist................:wah:

Clothes-well, I wear bright colored pants or patterned ones (never plaid ) to school. But then, I work with middle school kids. It gives them a laugh! And I fit right in! For other functions, like college, I wear a nice suit or business style ensemble. And for church, you might catch me wear the proverbial dress........:wah: But that is sometimes impractical, since I am playing an instrument, it depends on which one, how you have to sit, I think decency rules that outfit.

you have to wonder if they look in a mirror before they go out in public...:rolleyes:

I'm guessing that their internal "body image" (the way they see themselves) isn't matching their external image. In other words they still believe deep in their hearts that they are thin and good-looking, but they aren't to others.

I see this sometimes with parents of students that come dressed like teenagers to parent / teacher conferences. In their minds, even though they are well into their forties, they are still teenagers.

Not that being young-minded is a bad thing. But an adult that is mature understands when to act their age.

Research shows that drug use at an early age has a tendency to "freeze" maturity at that level. Children who abuse drugs never grow up emotionally..

My choice in fashion is heavily influenced by Bruce Lee.

From Enter the Dragon when asked what his style his he replies "My style is no style at all" I've always tried to live up to that principle.

I think its great when people have such high self esteem to wear skimpy clothes when they are considered "bigger".. I think this thread stinks personally. Who cares if some 700 pound woman wants to slep herself into a size 6 bikini! Good for her! I do have a problem with ANY man not wearing a shirt though. Just my opinion. And who is the ultimate last word on who's too skinny/ fat to wear whatever?

I understand it's hard for larger women to find clothes that are in the current style. Things have changed lately and there's more of a choice than the usual different colored moomoo's. Ok that's what I call them, not sure what anyone else calls them. Oh yea moomoos are the those dresses that are brightly colored and can pass for a dress or a nightgown.

DesignerGal wrote: I think its great when people have such high self esteem to wear skimpy clothes when they are considered "bigger".. I think this thread stinks personally. Who cares if some 700 pound woman wants to slep herself into a size 6 bikini! Good for her! I do have a problem with ANY man not wearing a shirt though. Just my opinion. And who is the ultimate last word on who's too skinny/ fat to wear whatever?


Designer, I respect your opinion. I still take issue with folks wearing clothes that are unbecoming...especially too small.

Remember, though, I am a "big" person myself....one of the ones who gets looked down umpon for no aparent reason except that I weigh more than is considered the norm.

So while I appreciate that you do not like this thread, I stand by it...and my opinion.

Chonsi...to be honest, I do not have a problem with long hair..at any age. As long as it is well kept, well styled and clean.

Marie5656 wrote: Remember, though, I am a "big" person myself....one of the ones who gets looked down umpon for no aparent reason except that I weigh more than is considered the norm.


You get looked down upon. It hurts your feelings right? Arent you "looking down" upon these people by these judgemental statements? Wouldnt you think it would hurt their feelings to know someone thinks they shouldnt be wearing what they like just because they are considered "big"?

Marie5656 wrote:

Chonsi...to be honest, I do not have a problem with long hair..at any age. As long as it is well kept, well styled and clean.


What is it isnt well kept? What makes you an expert on what people should and should not wear? Im not trying to pick a fight, I just want to debate with you. Its seems kind of hurtful what you are saying here.

Ok, I am not as thin as I used to be and while 150 may not be "big" to some people, I have seen myself in a mirror and it is NOT pretty. I hate to say it but I am most comfortable in blue jeans and large t-shirts.

My oldest daughter weighs about 200 pounds. While I am glad that she is comfortable in her own skin, I wish she had enough self respect to be sure to wear clothes that were a bit less revealing. Face it, nobody wants to see the top of her thong underwear. But then, nobody really wants to see the top of my other daughter's thong underwear either and she weighs about 100 pounds.

I just have a problem with people "dictating" what "fat" people should wear just because they are "fat". I think its total BS. Now something too skimpy is one thing. Regardless of size. I dont want to see your undergarments or "cracks" anywhere.

DesignerGal wrote: I think its great when people have such high self esteem to wear skimpy clothes when they are considered "bigger".. I think this thread stinks personally. Who cares if some 700 pound woman wants to slep herself into a size 6 bikini! Good for her! I do have a problem with ANY man not wearing a shirt though. Just my opinion. And who is the ultimate last word on who's too skinny/ fat to wear whatever?


There are many great choices in the high street and I guess if someone is sufficiently concerned about how they look, they will buy magazines, watch TV programmes and generally get inspiration from people they see in the street or people they know.

Not being so slim myself and nearing my 60s, I am very conscious about what i wear.



To answer the original question...I guess some large ladies and gents don't actually believe that they can look stunning so they hide in baggy comfortable clothes...the rest just couldn't care less..

Sometimes baggy clothes is for comfort, you aren't really going anywhere and do not care what people think. Your comfort is what counts.

I think anyone can look good in pretty much anything as long as it fits right.

I think that was the point of this thread, not that certain people shouldn't wear something but rather how they wear it.

Even a super skinny person is going to look silly wearing something that's 2 sizes too small!

:-6

That's true, Sunny. Well, I'm tooting to the store in shorts that fit, and a tank top that fits. It is hot outside! The people in the store will only have to endure me 10-20 minutes..........................:wah:

DesignerGal wrote: You get looked down upon. It hurts your feelings right? Arent you "looking down" upon these people by these judgemental statements? Wouldnt you think it would hurt their feelings to know someone thinks they shouldnt be wearing what they like just because they are considered "big"?



What is it isnt well kept? What makes you an expert on what people should and should not wear? Im not trying to pick a fight, I just want to debate with you. Its seems kind of hurtful what you are saying here.


I am no way trying to tell people what to wear, or looking in judgement. I am simply stating my own personal opinion. Wear whatever you want, shorts and a halter, baggy clothes..whatever makes you comfortable. My own personal comfort zone is plain slacks and a formless top..be it a pullover or a button down shirt.

When clothes on people of any size are way too revealing, or much too small you just have to wonder what they were thinking.

An expert, DG>>>I am far from that. I would never go up to anyone in person and critique what they were wearing, unless they asked me outright..and then I would not lie. I would give an honest opinion, either the clothes look really good on them, or maybe the style is just not quite right.

As for being "looked down" upon...is happens. People pass judgement on others..we all do it!! Sadly, some see fit to say it to your face, and that is hurtful. And yes, I have had total strangers come up to me and tell me what they thought of me, as a fat person. I mean, heaven forbid I take my niece out for an ice cream, and dare to have one myself. How dare I get pleaseure from food when I am so fat!!:-5

So please do not tell me I do not know what it is like to have judgement passed.

I refuse to stay inside my house. But when I do go out..I will be in a clean, well fitting outfit and my head will be held high. I will not be ashamed of myself!!

Marie5656 wrote: I

As for being "looked down" upon...is happens. People pass judgement on others..we all do it!! Sadly, some see fit to say it to your face, and that is hurtful. And yes, I have had total strangers come up to me and tell me what they thought of me, as a fat person. I mean, heaven forbid I take my niece out for an ice cream, and dare to have one myself. How dare I get pleaseure from food when I am so fat!!:-5

So please do not tell me I do not know what it is like to have judgement passed.




You should eat whatever the heck you want and tell those nosy bastards to mind their own business.

Marie, if someone looks down on you for who you are, it is wrong. Do not pay them no mind.

One of my sons is heavy, and it doesn't make one difference to me-I just love him! And he always looks neat and clean when he leaves the house, no one ever says anything to him.

DesignerGal wrote: You should eat whatever the heck you want and tell those nosy bastards to mind their own business.


Wish I could stand up to a person to thier face..but I just can't. Maybe it is why I am so much more comfortable speaking my mind here. To be honest, as ther person who started this thread..I am not even sure I could speak my mind if we were all sitting in a room face to face. The old "What would people think syndrome.

Marie5656 wrote:

So please do not tell me I do not know what it is like to have judgement passed.




I never said anything like that.

Marie5656 wrote:

I refuse to stay inside my house. But when I do go out..I will be in a clean, well fitting outfit and my head will be held high. I will not be ashamed of myself!!


Thats GREAT! Its a shame most "heavyset" people arent more confident like you!

[QUOTE=DesignerGal]I never said anything like that.



[QUOTE]



Not sure if I was even speaking directly to you, DG, or was just carried off by my rant.

As you said, this is an issue that deserves debate...but when it strikes a personal chord, I sometimes get the defenses up. Sorry.

[QUOTE=Marie5656][QUOTE=DesignerGal]I never said anything like that.







Not sure if I was even speaking directly to you, DG, or was just carried off by my rant.

As you said, this is an issue that deserves debate...but when it strikes a personal chord, I sometimes get the defenses up. Sorry.


I completely understand. I am a "heavy" person too. I like the terms "pleasently plump" or "angularly challenged". Even "more cushion for the pushin'". My husband is very fond of, "there is just more of you to love which makes it all the better to love you my dear".

I get so irritated with "fat-prejudiced" people. They drive me crazy! This is another from of prejuduice that doesnt get much attention and it should!

You should have confidence, Marie. If they cannot see you for the lovely person you are, phooey on them!

My husband is a big guy, too..about 100 pounds more than me.

Had a thin friend once ask me why I was more attracted to larger men (this was before I even met Rick) and I was not sure why...who can really say why we are attracted to the body type we are attracted to?:-3 But that is a whole new thread..and I am not sure I have it in me to start it today..

This is Rick and I. Wedding day December 7th 2001

Attached files

:-4

Oh, you are both so sweet, and you look gorgeous Marie!

BEAUTIFUL! Thats all I can say.

Marie5656 wrote: This is Rick and I. Wedding day December 7th 2001
Beautiful pic!!! :-4

Jives wrote: I'm guessing that their internal "body image" (the way they see themselves) isn't matching their external image. In other words they still believe deep in their hearts that they are thin and good-looking, but they aren't to others.




Jives, is there still the peer pressure in school to look a certain way, dress a certain way, etc? You still hear so much about young people with the body image problem, because the media, or thier friends, tell them what is right or wrong.

Jives wrote: I'm guessing that their internal "body image" (the way they see themselves) isn't matching their external image. In other words they still believe deep in their hearts that they are thin and good-looking, but they aren't to others.



I see this sometimes with parents of students that come dressed like teenagers to parent / teacher conferences. In their minds, even though they are well into their forties, they are still teenagers.



Not that being young-minded is a bad thing. But an adult that is mature understands when to act their age.



Research shows that drug use at an early age has a tendency to "freeze" maturity at that level. Children who abuse drugs never grow up emotionally..




That really jumped out at me. You of all people dispense advice about how adults should behave ? I knew you would say something stupid if you opened your mouth.

I only have 2 words on this topic.....

Ban Spandex!!!

Thank You for listening

I teach middle school, the awkward age, they are sometimes self-conscious about their looks. The girls, more then the boys. I think they are all lovely.

They are children, and haven't finished growing up yet.

minks wrote: I only have 2 words on this topic.....

Ban Spandex!!!

Thank You for listening


I havent seen that stuff in forever!! Maybe its a Canadian thing now!! Just kidding!

Marie, I love your wedding photo...you both look so happy and you look stunning



My 14 yr old grandaughter is a bit heavier than her freinds and she gets bullied at school. ....she is a beautiful, wonderful natured girl, but I know she is hurt to the core.

Bez wrote: Marie, I love your wedding photo...you both look so happy and you look stunning



My 14 yr old grandaughter is a bit heavier than her freinds and she gets bullied at school. ....she is a beautiful, wonderful natured girl, but I know she is hurt to the core.


If you want, all of us bigger beautiful women will send some pics of us doing whatever everyone else does! She has to know that stuff like that wont happen forever! I hated high school!

I've had my whole "identical twin" comparison going on for too many years now. I often struggle with my self-image because I (and others, because we look alike) am always measuring myself against my skinny twin.

I think that has made me more compassionate to people who don't really see themselves as others do. Self-image struggles really hit home for me.

Jives wrote:



Research shows that drug use at an early age has a tendency to "freeze" maturity at that level. Children who abuse drugs never grow up emotionally..


NO WAY!!!!



Is that true? I didn't know that...:-3



Wow, you learn summit everyday.

Bez wrote: Marie, I love your wedding photo...you both look so happy and you look stunning



.


Actually I think the word would be S**T-FACED. We started on the champagne at lunch..and it was an evening wedding.

Marie5656 wrote: Actually I think the word would be S**T-FACED.


:D S**T-FACED, HAPPY AND IN LOVE.

Not a bad place to be:-6

I agree with Marie on this one...



I see lots of people in the street walking past and sometimes I have to do a double-take, because I can't believe my eyes.



As a CHUNKY chick I always try my best to make sure that I look the best I can with what I've got.... which is a big belly & a huge bum :wah:



I used to go for black clothes all the time, but lately I have been getting braver and wearing pinks and reds and even white and I think they suit me much more... and they certainly make me feel better in myself. :-3



The other day when I was shopping I saw what I thought was a young lady walk past me in some really trendy clothes, short denim skirt high heels and a bright top, her figure was excellent but when she turned around she was really really old, and although her figure was stunning it just didnt look right at all.. but thats just my opinion... but fair play to her...

cherandbuster wrote: I've had my whole "identical twin" comparison going on for too many years now. I often struggle with my self-image because I (and others, because we look alike) am always measuring myself against my skinny twin.



I think that has made me more compassionate to people who don't really see themselves as others do. Self-image struggles really hit home for me.
That blows me away to hear that from you. I think you are absolutely stunning, how could YOU ever be self-concious??? You're drop-dead gorgeous!!!!

BabyRider wrote: That blows me away to hear that from you. I think you are absolutely stunning, how could YOU ever be self-concious??? You're drop-dead gorgeous!!!!


BR

I don't know how to respond to that

other than a genuine thank you

but inside my own head

I don't see the 'me' that you see

and therein lies the problem

BabyRider wrote: That blows me away to hear that from you. I think you are absolutely stunning, how could YOU ever be self-concious??? You're drop-dead gorgeous!!!!




This is dangerously close to Lesbian fantasy talk.



































Im kidding Im kidding !

cherandbuster wrote: BR



I don't know how to respond to that



other than a genuine thank you



but inside my own head



I don't see the 'me' that you see



and therein lies the problem
Uhh....gang? Wanna help me out here? Tell this crazy person how totally beautiful she is, both inside AND out!!! Always, ALWAYS a kind, uplifting word for anyone who needs it, always a positive note to everything she writes, genuine care and concern for others that comes shining out through her words, a smile that looks like it would stop traffic, and the pure, simple goodness of a person who obviously thinks of everyone else before she thinks of herself.

Nomad

We can always count on you to bring the conversation to the lowest common denominator.

Thank you!:D

shelleybelle73 wrote: I agree with Marie on this one...



I see lots of people in the street walking past and sometimes I have to do a double-take, because I can't believe my eyes.



As a CHUNKY chick I always try my best to make sure that I look the best I can with what I've got.... which is a big belly & a huge bum :wah:



I used to go for black clothes all the time, but lately I have been getting braver and wearing pinks and reds and even white and I think they suit me much more... and they certainly make me feel better in myself. :-3



The other day when I was shopping I saw what I thought was a young lady walk past me in some really trendy clothes, short denim skirt high heels and a bright top, her figure was excellent but when she turned around she was really really old, and although her figure was stunning it just didnt look right at all.. but thats just my opinion... but fair play to her...


CHUNKY CHICK...love it...you've made me feel a whole lot better about myself

I used to wear black all the time too, but like you I've started to be a bit more adventurous....like the cream suit I wore to my sons wedding.

I have a friend at work who's 49....she's a lovely lady but dresses like a teenager. She's got a lovely figure but because she's spends hours in the sun and on sun beds, her face is very wrinkled and her skin is all leathery. She goes out with guys 10, 15 years younger than her and I guess she just doesn't want to leave her 30s....she's a lovely person though. She's always trying to get me to go 'clubbing' with her....:yh_rotfl



Anyway....CHUNKY CHICKS UNITE !!!

Beauty Comes in ALL Sizes

cherandbuster wrote: Nomad

We can always count on you to bring the conversation to the lowest common denominator.

Thank you!:D
I shall assign Nomad some math homework...................

Cher is so pretty!