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Could use some friend advice
Posted: Fri Jun 16, 2006 4:10 pm
by AsSweetAsThis
I'm completely new here but this forum is probably the best place for me to turn right now regarding a problem I'm experiencing with my supposed "best friend." We haven't spoken at all since last September! I've known her since the age of 11 (we're 30 now) and she basically ceased all communication with me out of the clear blue. I had sent her a quick email and left her a couple of voice messages, but she never got back to me. This all happened at the end of September. She missed my birthday completely in early October and...well, that's just it. I never heard from her. Things were COMPLETELY fine in early September and all through last summer. We've always been like sisters so this has been a pretty big slap in the face.
I was hurt at first but that was replaced by anger pretty quickly. I don't know what the problem could be, but there's nothing that she can't share with me. At the same time, I want to confront her and ask why she did this and how she could dump such an important relationship down the chute!
She's a manager at a local store and I've purposely avoided going there for the past several months because I really didn't want to see her. Who knows if she even works there now, though?
Any thoughts? A part of me would love to rekindle our friendship. Another part just wants to hurt her feelings.

Could use some friend advice
Posted: Fri Jun 16, 2006 4:37 pm
by valerie
Things happen, people get busy and drift apart. I would suggest not
"confronting" her... maybe there's some misunderstanding you aren't
aware of. Make the first move, call her, be nice, and see what happens.
Friendships are to be valued. My best of friend of 33 years died about
a year and a half ago. One of the things that I value the most is the
memory of me telling her I loved her at the end of our last phone
conversation. And she said she loved me, too.
Just think of that and don't let things go on any longer.
Could use some friend advice
Posted: Fri Jun 16, 2006 4:40 pm
by AsSweetAsThis
Thank you, Valerie. I'm so sorry about your friend. I really appreciate you sharing your thoughts.
I have to admit I'm somewhat scared to get in touch with her now. I tend to take things personally (at least when it involves those I'm close to) and my emails and messages going unanswered were hurtful. I almost don't know what I'd say - and a horrible part of me is having a hard time swallowing my pride.
Could use some friend advice
Posted: Fri Jun 16, 2006 5:02 pm
by Nomad
Ive gone through the same thing with a buddy Ive know many years
I finally realized hes always just drifted in and out so instead of feeling bad Im just going to mail him poop
Could use some friend advice
Posted: Fri Jun 16, 2006 5:15 pm
by venus
I would casually run in to her and say hi how are you god its been awhile but lve been so busy..
see what her reaction is..
if she is all avoidy then maybe ask what her problem is if she isnt then invite her ouot for a coffee and talk it over..
Could use some friend advice
Posted: Fri Jun 16, 2006 5:31 pm
by Nomad
venus wrote: I would casually run in to her and say hi how are you god its been awhile but lve been so busy..
see what her reaction is..
if she is all avoidy then maybe ask what her problem is if she isnt then invite her ouot for a coffee and talk it over..
pft
sure
give her sound advice and make me look like an idiot :-3
Could use some friend advice
Posted: Fri Jun 16, 2006 5:35 pm
by venus
Nomad wrote: pft
sure
give her sound advice and make me look like an idiot :-3
like l was needed to do that
:wah:
:p
Could use some friend advice
Posted: Sat Jun 17, 2006 12:30 am
by vampress.rozz
Could use some friend advice
Posted: Fri Jun 23, 2006 7:01 am
by AsSweetAsThis
Thank you, everybody, for your helpful remarks. Pinky, I generally share your viewpoint and I think if it had been anyone else, I would have confronted the person by now. For some reason, because the situation involves my best friend, I'm nervous. I guess I don't want to hear something terrible.
I'm contemplating going to her workplace this weekend. Thanks again, all.
Could use some friend advice
Posted: Fri Jun 23, 2006 9:34 am
by BabyRider
AsSweetAsThis wrote: Thank you, everybody, for your helpful remarks. Pinky, I generally share your viewpoint and I think if it had been anyone else, I would have confronted the person by now. For some reason, because the situation involves my best friend, I'm nervous. I guess I don't want to hear something terrible.
I'm contemplating going to her workplace this weekend. Thanks again, all.
Sweet....GO. Go now. Not tomorrow not in an hour....do not pass Go, do not collect $200.
You never know when a life can be changed in an instant and the chance to do something about what's important to you is gone. It only takes an instant. Trust me on this one, I know what I'm talking about. If this friendship means anything at all to you...go back and get it.
If you stick around here, you will hear me say over and over: "Regret the things you do, not the things you WISH you'd done."
Go talk to your friend. Do it now.
Could use some friend advice
Posted: Fri Jun 23, 2006 9:47 am
by cherandbuster
BabyRider wrote: Sweet....GO. Go now. Not tomorrow not in an hour....do not pass Go, do not collect $200.
You never know when a life can be changed in an instant and the chance to do something about what's important to you is gone. It only takes an instant. Trust me on this one, I know what I'm talking about. If this friendship means anything at all to you...go back and get it.
If you stick around here, you will hear me say over and over: "Regret the things you do, not the things you WISH you'd done."
Go talk to your friend. Do it now.
Good advice put quite succinctly.
Nice job BR:)
Could use some friend advice
Posted: Fri Jun 23, 2006 9:49 am
by chonsigirl
Let us know how your visit went.

Could use some friend advice
Posted: Fri Jun 23, 2006 12:07 pm
by spot
You might find, when you talk to her, that it's a long-term mood swing. I can think of someone who switched from bright and cheerful to morose and uncontactable inside a week and stayed that way for years, with nobody (least of all him) having a clue what triggered it.