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While driving my younger sons friend home early this morning, I out of the blue thought of my older son. I had this overwhelming urge to wrap my arms around him. I dont see much of him. He has a busy life and things are good for him. It seems our thoughts are always wrapped up with the people who are more needy... or need us the most.

Dear John, You were my first child. I fell so in love with you, the moment I saw you. We spent so much time together because your dad was never home. I was thrilled to show you the world. Ive been wrapped up for years, trying to take care of your brother... because hes continued to need me. But I want you to know.... I miss you so. I am so proud of you, and I wish I could share in all of the wonderful things you do. Your a great dad and you are so talented. I think its time to let your brother fly... His bondage has become my bondage because Im missing out on being with you. I hope we can bridge the gap of so many years of being aloof with each other. Its tough for me to say because I have been such a strong and tough person..

But.... I need you in my life.

The strong and independant get pushed aside. Those with the greatest needs command our attention. Not because we dont love the others but because crisis is always the priority. The same was done to me. I just remembered this morning how it feels. I know this morning how John feels.

John, I am going to try to come home......

I'm sure he needs you in his life too. I spend a lot of time with my daughter and have a very close relationship. I used to have this with my son, but in the years since he left home we have drifted apart. I'm always called to sort out his problems, and there are a lot of them. I just wish we could recapture the closeness we once had. I took him to Milan last year and it was perfect, but then when we got back, I didn't hear off him for ages. He doesn't return calls. In a major crisis 2 weeks ago, he actually contacted his mom who he has been estranged from for years. She's worried about him too.

Like my mate often says, the older they get, the more trouble they are.

Anyway, you go and see John

ah Kids.....you can't do right for doing wrong with kids...if keep them 'too close' you're suffocating them. If you give them more space, you don't care.

You can only love'm and be there when they need you. As Weeder has said, the neediest take up more of your time and the others notice, that's when you get the 'favourites' thing thrown at you.

My daughter (38) is/was too independant and shut me out...we have re-discovered each other over the past 12 months

when My eldest son (37) was married I rarely saw him...now he's divorced we spend loads of time together

My youngest son (34) lived at home on and off until he was 28....he worked with his dad so I saw him a lot...don't see him so much now, but contact is frequent.

The main thing is that we all know that we love each other....we respect our differences....we support each other.....we worry about each other.

If I infer his personality right, don't be put off by his initial response. You know you'd act the same way if someone acted out-of-character with you.



I can feel it. This is right.



Good luck to you! :yh_flower

weeder wrote: While driving my younger sons friend home early this morning, I out of the blue thought of my older son. I had this overwhelming urge to wrap my arms around him. I dont see much of him. He has a busy life and things are good for him. It seems our thoughts are always wrapped up with the people who are more needy... or need us the most.

Dear John, You were my first child. I fell so in love with you, the moment I saw you. We spent so much time together because your dad was never home. I was thrilled to show you the world. Ive been wrapped up for years, trying to take care of your brother... because hes continued to need me. But I want you to know.... I miss you so. I am so proud of you, and I wish I could share in all of the wonderful things you do. Your a great dad and you are so talented. I think its time to let your brother fly... His bondage has become my bondage because Im missing out on being with you. I hope we can bridge the gap of so many years of being aloof with each other. Its tough for me to say because I have been such a strong and tough person..

But.... I need you in my life.

The strong and independant get pushed aside. Those with the greatest needs command our attention. Not because we dont love the others but because crisis is always the priority. The same was done to me. I just remembered this morning how it feels. I know this morning how John feels.

John, I am going to try to come home......


John Will always know you are a brilliant, loving and caring mother.. you are only doing your best as a mother... and thats all we can do as mothers..you would be spending the time with John if it were him that needed you.. I am sure he knows how much you love and need him the same as he loves and needs you.. we all hurt when we see our closest to our hearts lives being turned upside down by others. and maybe he finds it hard to see you struggle as much as you do caring for your other son, but deep down he knows you are a fantastic mother who loves all her children.. I am sure he is just as proud of you as you are of him... Good luck hun.. sharon xxx