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Petrol-holic twelve steps



1) I admit that I have often felt powerless over petrol and those who legislate and lobby to further increase my dependence upon it.

2) I have come to believe that telecommuting, ride-sharing, imporved public transportation, alternative and renewable energy sources, and a progressive-minded government can restore us to sanity.

3) I have made a decision to turn my back on those who choose to profit from my addiction.

4) I have made a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself.

5) I have admitted to [enter deity here], to myself and to other human beings the exact nature of my dependency.

6) I am entirely prepared to do everything within my ability to remove from power those who cater to the whims and desires of Big Oil.

7) I humbly ask all Americans to step back and evaluate what is truly important to them and to not be driven by fear or misinformation.

8) I have made a list of all the natural resources I may have harmed, and am willing to make amends.

9) I have apologized for driving when I could have walked, for exceeding the speed limit, and for being tempted to buy a Hummer.

10) I have continued to take personal inventory and have worked towards finding alternatives to fossil fuels.

11) I have sought to improve my conscious contact with nature, seeking knowledge of the power to carry out the elimination of all special-interest lobbies, especially the Oil Lobby.

12) Having had an awakening as the result of these steps, I will try to carry this message to all petro-holics, and to practice these principles in all my affairs.

Scrat wrote: I find fault with this little joke. Don't think that the oil companies are the ones we should be blaming as much as the politicians.



I heard yesterday that the oil companies only get about .9 cents on every gallon. The government gets about .50 cents.



They don't want to get their hands out of our pockets. A windfall profits tax on the oil companies? How about they learn how to spend our money.


When I found this It was in the Spirit of 'dubyas proclaiming that AMERICANS were "addicted to oil".

Scrat wrote: I don't follow you. Too early in the morning?


Here is some more of it:



Editorial | A hard start to that 12-step program

President Bush said in his State of the Union address that America is addicted to oil. We take you now to a meeting at an undisclosed location, where participants are struggling with a 12-step program:

Dr. Bob: Welcome, everyone. Do we have any new members tonight?

George: Yes. Howdy. My name is George. And my country is addicted to oil.

Group (in unison): Hi, George.

Dr. Bob: Welcome to our anonymous group, George. Our program for recovery consists of 12 steps. The first step is to admit we are powerless over oil. Are you ready to admit you're powerless?

George: Powerless? I am the most powerful person on the planet. I can pick up a phone at 3 a.m. and have a burrito delivered to me in less than 90 seconds. That's power.

Steve: Hi, George. My name is Steve. I drive a Hummer. It costs me $50 to fill up the tank. To save money, I eat macaroni and cheese three nights a week. I am powerless over oil.

George: You're just the kind of addict I had in mind, Steve. And the worst part about your addiction is, oil is often imported from the unstable Middle East. Steve, why don't you buy a car that runs on ethanol?

Steve: I live in Jersey. When was the last time you saw an ethanol filling station in Jersey?

George: Well, I was just using ethanol as an example. I didn't mean it literally.

Steve: The government has done almost nothing to improve fuel efficiency of cars. Won't you admit you have a problem?

George: That's not my problem. It's a marketplace problem.

Belinda: Hi, George. My name is Belinda. My home is heated with oil. We keep the thermostat at 58 degrees. My toes have been cold since October. I am powerless over oil.

George: The best way to break your addiction is through technology, Belinda. Why don't you switch to heating your home with clean biomass technology?

Belinda: Well, it's expensive to convert to biomass heat, and it's not readily available. More research might help lower the cost. But the Energy Department is laying off researchers at the National Renewable Energy Laboratory due to your budget cuts. Won't you admit you have a problem?

George: I am not powerless over oil. I understand the oil business better than anyone. In fact, I was an oilman myself. I owned Bush Exploration Co. years ago in Texas.

Dr. Bob: And didn't you drill a lot of dry holes back then?

George: Well, yes, we did. Being an oilman is an unpredictable line of work.

Dr. Bob: What was the price of oil when you sold the company?

George: Oil was down to about $10 a barrel at the time. The oil market crashed.

Dr. Bob: And what is the price of oil today?

George: About $65 per barrel.

Dr. Bob: Don't you see, George? Either you were a lousy businessman, or you have no power over oil.

George: Well, I'll be darned. Hello again, everyone. My name is George, and I'm addicted to oil.