ForumGarden

yaaaaaaaaaaaaay for the seamstress.

Oh, and good moral!

*scribble scribble* :yh_glasse

I don't think 2 would have hurt. I'm sure most women would have somehow managed to cope with George AND Brad in their beds! *sigh* :wah:

But three...well, that's just plain greedy! Throw the 3rd one back!!! hehehehehe :yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl

mrsK wrote: A woman was helping her computer-illiterate husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate point in the process, told him that he would now need to choose and enter a password.

Something he will use to log on. The husband was in a rather amorous mood and figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife's attention.

So, when the computer asked him to enter his password, he made it plainly obvious to his wife that he was keying in "p..e..n..i..s"



His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied:***PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH***
:yh_rotfl :yh_clap Good one mrsK!

mrsK wrote: Subject: Fw: love dress

A woman stopped by unannounced at her son's house. She knocked

on

the door, then immediately walked in. She was shocked to see her

daughter-in-law laying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was

playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"I'm waiting for John to come home from work," the

daughter-in-law answered.

"But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.

"This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained.

"Love dress? But you're naked!"

"John loves me to wear this dress," she explained. "It excites

him no end. Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly

becomes romantic and ravages me for hours on end. He can't get enough

of

me."



The mother-in-law left. When she got home, she undressed,

showered, put on her best perfume,! dimmed the lights, put on

a

romantic CD, laid on the couch waiting for her husband to arrive.

Finally, her husband came home. He walked in and saw her

laying

there so provocatively.

What are you doing?" he asked.

This is my love dress," she whispered, sensually.

"Needs ironing," he said. "What's for dinner?




The above joke just reminded me of a similar situation joke.

80 year old Marvin woke up in bed on his Birthday next to his wife .

All of a sudden, he noticed that his wee willle winkle was up at full

attention, for the first time in years. So he says to his wife look at this,

what do you think we should do with this, since it is my Birthday?

Well, she said, now that you got all the wrinkles out, you can finally wash it! :rolleyes: :p

A traveling salesman checked into a futuristic motel. Realizing he needed a haircut before his next day's meeting, he called down to the Desk clerk to ask if there was a a barber "I'm afraid not, sir," the clerk told him, "but down the hall is a special machine that should serve your purposes."

Skeptical but intrigued, the salesman located the appropriate machine, inserted 25cents, and stuck his head in the opening, at which time the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later the salesman pulled out his head and surveyed his head in the mirror, which reflected the best haircut he ever received in his life.

Down the hall was another machine with a sign that read, "Manicures 25 cents." "Why not?" thought the salesman. He paid the money, inserted his hands into the slot, and pulled them out perfectly manicured.

The next machine had a huge sign that read, "This Machine Provides What Men Need Most When Away from Their Wives - cost 50 cents." The salesman was embarrassed and looked both ways. Seeing nobody around he put in 50 cents, then unzipped his pants and stuck his "thing" into the opening - with great anticipation, since he had been away from his wife for two weeks.

When the machine started buzzing, the guy let out a shriek of agony. Fifteen seconds later it shut off and, with trembling hands, the salesman was able to withdraw his "thingy"...

Which now had a button sewed on the tip.

Giggle... Love It !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tickle Me Elmo:

There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo

toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms. Well, Lena is

hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day

promptly at 8:00 AM.

The next day at 8:45 AM there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's

door. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new

employee. He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is

backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule.

The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the 2

men march down to the factory floor. When they get there the line is so

backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory floor and

they're really beginning to pile up. At the end of the line stands Lena

surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo's.

She has a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles. The

2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it

around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the little package

between Elmo's legs.

The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of

hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches Lena . "I'm sorry,"

he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, "but I think you

misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday..."



"Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles.