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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart

When she starts a sentence with... "A man once told me.."

Sorry, but I can't let this one go! :-5

What do you call the flabby useless bit of skin on the end of a pen.is?

A man!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wolverine? Isn't it time for you to go to bed?:mad: :wah:

Attached files

koochikoo wrote: What’s the fastest way to a man’s heart?



Straight through the chest with a sharp knife! :wah:
A good technique, yes, but I prefer the fist down the throat and ripping it out through his esophagus method. That way, you get to show it to him right before he keels over.



Geeze, I had a rough night at work....

What did God say after He had created man?



I could do better

koochikoo wrote: :wah: :wah: This threads great! I wonder if Wolvie realises what he's started...



One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve seeks help from God.

“Lord, I have a problem.”

“What’s the problem, Eve?”

“Lord, I know you’ve created me, and have provided this beautiful garden and all these wonderful creatures, but I’m just not happy.”

“Why is that, Eve?” came Gods voice from above.

“Lord, I’m lonely. And I’m sick to death of apples!”

“O.K,” says God, “ then I’ll create a man for you.”

“What is a man, Lord?”

“A man is a flawed creature with aggressive tendencies, an enormous ego and an inability to empathise or listen to you.

“All things considered, he’ll give you a hard time. But he’ll be bigger, faster and more muscular than you. He’ll also be extremely gifted at fighting and hunting, and not all that bad in the sack, if you know what I mean.”

“Sounds wonderful,” says Eve.

“Yes,” says the Lord. “And I will gladly do this for you, but only on one condition.”

“What’s that?”

“You’ll have to let him believe I made him first.”


:yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl :

theia wrote: What did God say after He had created man?

I could do better


What did God say after She had created man?

That was just a practice run! :rolleyes:



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When God made man She was only joking. :wah:

koochikoo wrote: What’s the fastest way to a man’s heart?



Straight through the chest with a sharp knife! :wah:


Love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl



koochikoo wrote: This threads great! I wonder if Wolvie realises what he's started...




If he didn't before, I think he does now! Roflmao!

Why do women have smaller feet than men?

It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows

them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

Wolverine wrote: Why do women have smaller feet than men?

It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows

them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.


It's also handy when you're aiming a kick to the nuts. Better fit.

Why do men fart more than women

Because women can't shut up long enough to

build up the required pressure.

:wah:

Wolverine wrote: Why do men fart more than women

Because women can't shut up long enough to

build up the required pressure.

:wah:




You sooo deserve a wedgy .

Q.why do men have one more braincell then dogs?.

A.so they don't start humping your leg at parties.



Q. Why was marriage invented?

A. Because men could only suck in their gut for so long



A woman will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head,

a beer belly sticking out and still think they're handsome.

Q) What's the difference between a pack of hamsters and a girls' track team?



A) One group is a pack of cunning runts. the other is a pack of....









I remember reading in Rolling Stone magazine at the time that Jim Morrison died, that the above was one of his favorite jokes.

kumininexile wrote: Q) What's the difference between a pack of hamsters and a girls' track team?



A) One group is a pack of cunning runts. the other is a pack of....







:-2 How charming!

...yep.......yaaaaaaaaaaaawn.... scratch.... mup, mup, mup..... they's a lota love in here. :rolleyes:

Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven?

Because if they all went, it would be hell.

abbey wrote: :-2 How charming!




Not really.

kumininexile wrote: Q) What's the difference between a pack of hamsters and a girls' track team?



A) One group is a pack of cunning runts. the other is a pack of...

I remember reading in Rolling Stone magazine at the time that Jim Morrison died, that the above was one of his favorite jokes.
What a shame. I just lost a whole bunch of respect for one of my previously favorite musicians....:-2

BabyRider wrote: What a shame. I just lost a whole bunch of respect for one of my previously favorite musicians....:-2


I don't mean to disillusion anybody...

BabyRider, I don't know anything about you including your age, or even your gender. But, aren't you old enough to remember the reputation Morrison had as being a devil-may-care *******? This part of his personality blended right into his act onstage. Have you forgotten, (or did you never know in the first place,) about the time Morrison got his face slapped by Janis Joplin? Have you ever known about the time Morrison got locked up immediately after getting off a plane, for harassing one of the stewardesses during the flight? These are some of the things I used to love about the man.

In the feminist world of today in particular, Morrison's behavior towards women would be looked upon as being, "piggish," and, "chauvinistic." But I would certainly hope that if Morrison were still alive today, he wouldn't give two farts what any A-**** feminist might have to say about his behavior. If you adored the man and his art, you inherently understood how his behavior fit in with that.