ForumGarden

Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call. The house

was very, very dark, so the paramedic ask Kathleen, a 3-year-old girl, to

hold a flashlight high over her Mommy so he could see while he helped

deliver the baby. Very diligently, Kathleen did as she was asked. Heidi

pushed and pushed, and after a little while Connor was born. The paramedic

lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom. Connor began

to cry. The paramedic then thanked Kathleen for her help and asked the

wide-eyed 3-year old what she thought about what she had just witnessed.

Kathleen quickly responded, "He shouldn't have crawled in there in the

first place......... smack his ass again!"



If you didn't laugh at this one, there's no hope for you.

:yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl

Don't Mess With A Child's Logic



A firefighter is working on the engine outside the station when he notices a little girl next door in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle. The girl is wearing a firefighter's helmet. The wagon is being pulled by her dog and her cat.

The firefighter walked over to take a closer look. "That sure is a nice fire truck," the firefighter says with admiration. "Thanks," the girl says. The firefighter looks closer and notices the little girl tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's testicles.

"Little Partner," the firefighter says, "I don't want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope aound the cat's collar too, I think you could go faster." The little girl replies thoughtfully, "You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren!"

:yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl

THE PREGNANT LADY



A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man

opposite her was smiling at her.

She immediately moved to another seat.

This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man

seemed more amused.

When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to

the driver and he had the man arrested.

The case came up in court.

The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for

himself.

The man replied, "Well your Honor, it was like this: When the lady got

on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat down under

a sign that said, 'The Double Mint Twins are Comin' and I grinned."

"Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, 'Logan's Liniment will

reduce the swelling', and I had to smile.

"Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said, "William's

Big Stick Did the Trick", and I could hardly contain myself." "BUT, your

Honor, when She moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said,

'Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident'... I just lost it."

CASE DISMISSED!!"