Ouch!
Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2006 8:37 pm
Next time you have a bad day at work...think of this guy. Rob is a
commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs
underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an e-mail he sent
to his sister. She then sent it to a radio "worst job experience"
contest. Needless to say, she won.
Hi Sue, just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week
you had a bad day at the office. I know you have been feeling down
lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you all.
Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a
few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom
of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It is a wet suit. This time of
year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We
have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of
equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful
temperature. Then it pumps it down through a garden hose, which is taped
to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it
several times with no complaints.
What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose
and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with
warm water. It is like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well
until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I
scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds, my butt
started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was
done. I agony, I realized what had happened.
The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my
suit. Now since I don't have hair on my back, the jelly fish couldn't
stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I
scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the
jellyfish into my butt. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma
over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact
that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically.
Needless to say, I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make 3
agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling 35 minutes before I
could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I
arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I
climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down
his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as
soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't
poop for 2 days because my butthole was swollen shut.
So next time you are having a bad day at work, think about how much
worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt. Now repeat
to yourself, "I LOVE MY JOB, I LOVE MY JOB, I LOVE MY JOB."
:yh_rotfl :yh_giggle
commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs
underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an e-mail he sent
to his sister. She then sent it to a radio "worst job experience"
contest. Needless to say, she won.
Hi Sue, just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week
you had a bad day at the office. I know you have been feeling down
lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you all.
Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a
few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom
of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It is a wet suit. This time of
year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We
have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of
equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful
temperature. Then it pumps it down through a garden hose, which is taped
to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it
several times with no complaints.
What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose
and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with
warm water. It is like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well
until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I
scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds, my butt
started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was
done. I agony, I realized what had happened.
The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my
suit. Now since I don't have hair on my back, the jelly fish couldn't
stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I
scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the
jellyfish into my butt. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma
over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact
that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically.
Needless to say, I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make 3
agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling 35 minutes before I
could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I
arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I
climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down
his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as
soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't
poop for 2 days because my butthole was swollen shut.
So next time you are having a bad day at work, think about how much
worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt. Now repeat
to yourself, "I LOVE MY JOB, I LOVE MY JOB, I LOVE MY JOB."
:yh_rotfl :yh_giggle
