ForumGarden

Sophie and Arlene are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. Sophie pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts i it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.

Arlene: What in the hell is that?

Sophie: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.

Arlene: Where did you get it?

Sophie: You can get them at any drugstore.

The next day, Arlene hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.

The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand of condom she prefers.

"Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel."

The Ironing Wins>>>>crashdown Is Tooooooo Hard:(

kayleneaussie;767200 wrote: The Ironing Wins>>>>crashdown Is Tooooooo Hard:(:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:p

Chezzie;767198 wrote: Sophie and Arlene are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. Sophie pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts i it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.

Arlene: What in the hell is that?

Sophie: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.

Arlene: Where did you get it?

Sophie: You can get them at any drugstore.

The next day, Arlene hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.

The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand of condom she prefers.

"Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel."


:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

Chezzie;767198 wrote: Sophie and Arlene are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. Sophie pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts i it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.

Arlene: What in the hell is that?

Sophie: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.

Arlene: Where did you get it?

Sophie: You can get them at any drugstore.

The next day, Arlene hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.

The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand of condom she prefers.

"Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel." :DPlease excuse my friend.....its that time of month:wah::wah::rolleyes:

Carolly;767204 wrote: Please excuse my friend.....its that time of month:wah::wah::rolleyes:


hah hah NO thank god......:wah:

Last night, my friend and I were sitting in the living room and I said to her, 'I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.'

She got up, unplugged the Computer, and threw out my wine.

She's such a cow!!!!!!:-5:rolleyes:;):wah:

Carolly;767201 wrote: :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:p


StOP LAUGHING TART

kayleneaussie;767213 wrote: StOP LAUGHING TART
Oi Leg Over Alice behave!!!!!!!:-5:mad::rolleyes:

pinkchick;767203 wrote: :yh_rotfl:yh_rotflHave I said Hello today Rosie?;)

Helen Ive not managed to speak to you today but dont think Im not thinking of you mate

mrsK;767126 wrote: Thought I would post this here & we can all sing along:-6

Put On A Happy Face



Back to Bye Bye Birdie soundtrack >>

Artist:

Song: Put On A Happy Face



Gray skies are gonna clear up,

Put on a happy face;

Brush off the clouds and cheer up,

Put on a happy face.

Take off the gloomy mask of tragedy,

It's not your style;

You'll look so good that you'll be glad

Ya' decide to smile!

Pick out a pleasant outlook,

Stick out that noble chin;

Wipe off that "full of doubt" look,

Slap on a happy grin!

And spread sunshine all over the place,

Just put on a happy face!

Put on a happy face

Put on a happy face

And if you're feeling cross and bitterish

Don't sit and whine

Think of banana split and licorice

And you'll feel fine

I knew a girl so glooming

She'd never laugh or sing

She wouldn't listen to me

Now she's a mean old thing

So spread sunshine all over the place

Just put on a happy face

So, put on a happy faceIm sitting here singing this lol thanks for it Hxxxx

Ahhhh the gorg Suzy is back...........Good to see you babexxxxx....

Carolly;767216 wrote: Have I said Hello today Rosie?;)


Not sure darlin!

But there's still time before the day is out :-4

pinkchick;767234 wrote: Not sure darlin!

But there's still time before the day is out :-4Yer right..............HI ROSIE!!!!:):guitarist;)

[QUOTE=Carolly;767214]Oi Leg Over Alice behave!

:p:p:p:p

Carolly;767227 wrote: Im sitting here singing this lol thanks for it Hxxxx


WONDERED WHAT THAT AWFUL NOISE WAS:yh_rotfl

kayleneaussie;767240 wrote: WONDERED WHAT THAT AWFUL NOISE WAS:yh_rotflOn yer on yer back again I see ,......no change there then sweetchops:rolleyes::p:)

night lovely peeps xxxxx:-6

Chezzie;767245 wrote: night lovely peeps xxxxx:-6

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

im back...one last go of crashdown b4 bed,,,ere carolly just realised I have the high score for this on another forum over 2 million:wah::wah::wah: Now how the hell did i do it?????????

Chezzie;767247 wrote: im back...one last go of crashdown b4 bed,,,ere carolly just realised I have the high score for this on another forum over 2 million:wah: Now how the hell did i do it?????????


Shagged Mr. Crashdown:wah::wah::rolleyes::p

Time to go catcha all tomorrow maybe.



KEEP GOING CHEEZIE YOU CAN DO IT

Bye all take care:-4

kayleneaussie;767251 wrote: Time to go catcha all tomorrow maybe.



KEEP GOING CHEEZIE YOU CAN DO IT

Bye all take care:-4Oh no she cant:sneaky::p:rolleyes:

Carolly;767256 wrote: Oh no she cant:sneaky::p:rolleyes:


yer not wrong Carol lol

night ladies xxxxxxxx:-4

Chezzie;767258 wrote: yer not wrong Carol lol

night ladies xxxxxxxx:-4Look Ive already put up a posh goodnight ffs you aint getting another Mrs:-5....well maybe a little baby one..........Nite Babe lol;)Sweet Dreamsxxxx

Well done me ironing so have sneaked back in:D

kayleneaussie;767303 wrote: Well done me ironing so have sneaked back in:D
We know we can see:wah::wah::rolleyes::guitarist

HiyasxxxxAnother day and abit more knowledge...infact lots.....but not saying what about:rolleyes:Hope everyone is ok and behaving even though you lot dont seem to like doing that:rolleyes:Wonder what time the Guv will make an appearance lol by the way did you see her story on another thread....our budding author.......ahhhhhh Have a good day Guysxxxxx

[QUOTE=Carolly;767380]HiyasxxxxAnother day and abit more knowledge...infact lots.....but not saying what about:rolleyes:Hope everyone is ok and behaving even though you lot dont seem to like doing that:rolleyes:Wonder what time the Guv will make an appearance lol by the way did you see her story on another thread....our budding author.......ahhhhhh Have a good day Guys

You with Knowledge :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

kayleneaussie;767387 wrote: [QUOTE=Carolly;767380]HiyasxxxxAnother day and abit more knowledge...infact lots.....but not saying what about:rolleyes:Hope everyone is ok and behaving even though you lot dont seem to like doing that:rolleyes:Wonder what time the Guv will make an appearance lol by the way did you see her story on another thread....our budding author.......ahhhhhh Have a good day Guys

You with Knowledge Shut it EXGirlfriend:-5:-5:p

Well I am going to have a milo and a ciggy then I am off to beddy bye. I am stuffed, its been so hot and humid.

Love to you all and take care :-4:yh_bye

Carolly;767226 wrote: Helen Ive not managed to speak to you today but dont think Im not thinking of you mate


mornin mrs posh,

dont worry about it , did notice what was happening on other threads yesterday. trouble is , i still lurk, hard habit to break and by the time i've finished lurking, i realize i've not posted that much and its time to go to bed anyway. then, theres the lure of the arcade too....................

Carolly;767389 wrote: [QUOTE=kayleneaussie;767387]Shut it EXGirlfriend:-5:-5:p


NO :p

morning ladies

Quick Hi to you Helen:-4

el guapo;767394 wrote: morning ladies


Good Morning but its night here and I am off to bed.:yh_sleep

kayleneaussie;767397 wrote: Good Morning but its night here and I am off to bed.:yh_sleep
Fancy saying that B word to him fgs:rolleyes::wah::p

not quite that cold here yet but getting that way !!

hope everyone has a good day.

hi kay, im just havin a cuppa and a ciggie then im off to work rather be tucked up in me bed but the dog wont let me.

Carolly;767401 wrote: Fancy saying that B word to him fgs:rolleyes::wah::p


Why....my bed is big enough for two

Morning all, or good night to the aussies. I'm just about to hit the hay myself. Kaylene, it's been oppressively searing here all day, then suddenly, about an hour ago we got a storm and tons of rain. Nice!!!

I hope today is loads better, Carolly. I had a lovely yack this evening to my daughter in Paris. Wish she wasn't so far away. But she was happy and laughing and it felt so good just to hear her voice. She says it's freezing there.

Here's some breakfast!!

Hi Pam, I will get to bed soon. We didnt get the rain, lots of thunder but nothing else and its still very humid:( your lucky you live near the water:-6

I'm in Canberra right now, Kaylene, and far from water. It's normally more than dry here. Pity you didn't get some rain!!! I went out and danced in it.

AussiePam;767407 wrote: Morning all, or good night to the aussies. I'm just about to hit the hay myself. Kaylene, it's been oppressively searing here all day, then suddenly, about an hour ago we got a storm and tons of rain. Nice!!!

I hope today is loads better, Carolly. I had a lovely yack this evening to my daughter in Paris. Wish she wasn't so far away. But she was happy and laughing and it felt so good just to hear her voice. She says it's freezing there.

Here's some breakfast!!

Hello my dear Pam and may i say how good it is to have you here. We have so missed you sweetheart(((((((((((((HUG)))))))))))))Im out singing tonight....think I will have a warm up.........la...la...la.....la...la.... thats better.....cleared the old throat lol.Pam you are like a little ray of sunshine here......Oh I love you Oz guys......yes even Kay;)but schhhh mums the word:rolleyes:Dont be a stranger darlinxxxx;)

Helen;767392 wrote: mornin mrs posh,

dont worry about it , did notice what was happening on other threads yesterday. trouble is , i still lurk, hard habit to break and by the time i've finished lurking, i realize i've not posted that much and its time to go to bed anyway. then, theres the lure of the arcade too....................
YES THERE IS!!!!:-5:-5:p

Hello everybody ! There are so many of you that I could fill a page saying hello individually ! Please forgive my idleness :sneaky:





Like Carol I had a very iffy day yesterday, not so bad as Carol though. Well let's hope that out of the trauma created by other pedantic dogs- with- bones, comes a little compassion, a lot less arrogance, and more gentlemanly behaviour. The latter, I'm afraid and to quote another scandalised member, will not happen from one direction - "until hell freezes over".

We took our lovely German Shepherd to the vets this morning for a biopsy on a lump which had appeared just infront of his rib cage. The results will be back probably next Monday, and if it is benign and isn't irritating him, it will be left without surgery. If it is malignant, then he will have to have an operation to remove it. At 11 years old, going under an anaesthetic is always a risk, but he is a pretty fit and strong dog. Anyway we''l just have to wait and see.

:-3 :-4

morning friends hope you all are well,i feel loke poo got a heavy cold:( catch you all later xxxx

Ahhhh I hope his going to be ok Gill as I know we all want him to be. We are all sending our love to you mate and thinking of the "little" dearxxx

HI, just a fleeting visit today im afraid:o Its my father in laws birthday today so we are taking him out for lunch, drinks etc.

HI Jesse, nice to see you here:)

Neffy sorry you got a nasty cold, hope you are feeling better soon:-4

Pam i bet you miss you daughter loads, well good excuse to go visit! xx

Everyone else that are here all the time anyway:p (its ok they know i love em)

Have a good day everyone:yh_hugs Kaz.

neffy;767425 wrote: morning friends hope you all are well,i feel loke poo got a heavy cold:( catch you all later xxxxHi Neff...hope you get well soon lovexxx