Let's write a story!

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Wed Mar 26, 2008 10:05 am

she realised one was the father of her child...................shock...........horror!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Wed Mar 26, 2008 10:30 am

but which child was sired by this man?

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Wed Mar 26, 2008 10:34 am

The 14th one :-5:-5:mad:

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Wed Mar 26, 2008 10:37 am

She though, umm, I should take this jerk to court and bang him up for some child support payments he's been missing for how long?

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Wed Mar 26, 2008 10:38 am

qsducks;817097 wrote: She though, umm, I should take this jerk to court and bang him up for some child support payments he's been missing for how long?30 years:sneaky:

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Wed Mar 26, 2008 10:39 am

Wait a min. how old is this chick?

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Wed Mar 26, 2008 10:41 am

qsducks;817102 wrote: Wait a min. how old is this chick?
which one as Ive completely lost the plot and aint a clue who is who or what is what

:wah:

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Wed Mar 26, 2008 10:43 am

Ere Im nuf laughing here as Ive never read such a crap novel:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Wed Mar 26, 2008 10:48 am

Who is the author of this crazy novel? This story started with somebody waking up, remembering a dream, tripping over dirty laundry.........I could go on.

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Wed Mar 26, 2008 10:52 am

qsducks;817130 wrote: Who is the author of this crazy novel? This story started with somebody waking up, remembering a dream, tripping over dirty laundry.........I could go on.Thought we were doing a best seller and could make our fortunes

:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

BHughesNC · Post by **BHughesNC** » Wed Mar 26, 2008 5:47 pm

Here it is up to this point!

I opened my eyes this morning and the fog of sleep cleared from my mind.And I can still remember that dream I had last night. A smile came upon my face as I made my way down the hall. And then tripped over the dirty laundry. Then I realised I did it because I was still drunk from the night before. the night before and now had to face another day of, and still feeling that woozy feel...Did he really tell me last night that he no longer loved me????Or was that only what I thought, in my dream?, she asked herself as she picked up the dirty laundry. Perhaps I should write him a "Dear John" letter. Soooooo his been having affair with my best friend, how could he??? (But isn't your best friend a man? keep to the story dear) Seems its been going on for ages, how could he have done it to me? So she thought to herself, what went wrong?Guess it started that Xmas. I knew that Mistletoe wasn't meant for us.Was those damn cakes she made...........his a sucker for abit of tart......She certainly knew what to do with that wonder bra of hers. Im gonna clobber you in a minute now Gone With The Wind didnt have wonder bras in it .........now behave. Ye I guess it was that bit of jam tart he had that she made.........he was smitten.....So, she thought he likes a bit of tart, well I can do better and then she jumped into the shower. cause she had all jam tart over her as she had thrown it at him and missed and it had bounced back at her................................eat yer heart out Barbara Cartland......oops forgot.......this is serious.........sorry. so she got out his best shampoo and used the entire bottle on herself. Then thought..........wonder what I should buy for tomorrows dinner? She phoned her friend Duck to see if she wanted to go grocery shopping with her and buy tomorrows meal. then decided she wouldnt as the Duck was always drinking and trying to lead her astray...But Carolly was a wise woman and knew how to straighten the Duck out. "I'm a tart with a heart," she thought, "And ole Duck needs a ...friendly chat." Sooooooo she phoned the old Duck and told her not to have her normal 3 bottles of Gin that day and she would go out with her..........but only if Carolly is driving that new sports car of hers. By the way..........can I frame that please......oops sorry........back to the novel of the century. She climbed out of the shower feeling refreshed and decided to go for a walk. They agreed and off they went in the sports car, with the wind blowing through their hair and truckers honking at them as they sped by. Doing roughly 35 mph in a school zone. Then of all things.....the Ducks bleedin wig blew away....But that was alright, she stole Carolly's to wear. Soon, the girls saw a cop coming at them with his red lights on, wanting them to pull over! He was sooooo handsome that the Duck passed out hoping he would give her the kiss of life.....So Duck pulled off the side of the road to get out of the way. And put out her arms for the cop to perform CPR on her. She was happy that her friend Trunk Monkey let her borrow her red lip gloss that day and slightly puckered up when the cop approached her face. looked at it................and.................turned around and was sick...........But do not despair, the cop didn't feel like giving her a ticket that day. Duck appreciated that and thanked him, but first asked him to travel back and retrieve her wig that blew off so she could give it back to Carolly. then he asked all of them back to his place..........The cop was taken aback and thought, why not?" What???????.....what yoiu reading woman...........now keep up. Ok, ok, ok! They all joined the cop for a drink at his place. He was also going to order some Chinese food. He asked his mates round who were famous actors. That Carolly had meet in her past to help. she realised one was the father of her child...................shock...........horror!!!! but which child was sired by this man? The 14th one. She though, umm, I should take this jerk to court and bang him up for some child support payments he's been missing for how long? 30 years. Wait a min. how old is this chick? which one as Ive completely lost the plot and aint a clue who is who or what is what. Ere Im nuf laughing here as Ive never read such a crap novel Who is the author of this crazy novel? This story started with somebody waking up, remembering a dream, tripping over dirty laundry.........I could go on. Thought we were doing a best seller and could make our fortunes.

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Wed Mar 26, 2008 5:52 pm

BHughesNC;817536 wrote: Here it is up to this point!

I opened my eyes this morning and the fog of sleep cleared from my mind.And I can still remember that dream I had last night. A smile came upon my face as I made my way down the hall. And then tripped over the dirty laundry. Then I realised I did it because I was still drunk from the night before. the night before and now had to face another day of, and still feeling that woozy feel...Did he really tell me last night that he no longer loved me????Or was that only what I thought, in my dream?, she asked herself as she picked up the dirty laundry. Perhaps I should write him a "Dear John" letter. Soooooo his been having affair with my best friend, how could he??? (But isn't your best friend a man? keep to the story dear) Seems its been going on for ages, how could he have done it to me? So she thought to herself, what went wrong?Guess it started that Xmas. I knew that Mistletoe wasn't meant for us.Was those damn cakes she made...........his a sucker for abit of tart......She certainly knew what to do with that wonder bra of hers. Im gonna clobber you in a minute now Gone With The Wind didnt have wonder bras in it .........now behave. Ye I guess it was that bit of jam tart he had that she made.........he was smitten.....So, she thought he likes a bit of tart, well I can do better and then she jumped into the shower. cause she had all jam tart over her as she had thrown it at him and missed and it had bounced back at her................................eat yer heart out Barbara Cartland......oops forgot.......this is serious.........sorry. so she got out his best shampoo and used the entire bottle on herself. Then thought..........wonder what I should buy for tomorrows dinner? She phoned her friend Duck to see if she wanted to go grocery shopping with her and buy tomorrows meal. then decided she wouldnt as the Duck was always drinking and trying to lead her astray...But Carolly was a wise woman and knew how to straighten the Duck out. "I'm a tart with a heart," she thought, "And ole Duck needs a ...friendly chat." Sooooooo she phoned the old Duck and told her not to have her normal 3 bottles of Gin that day and she would go out with her..........but only if Carolly is driving that new sports car of hers. By the way..........can I frame that please......oops sorry........back to the novel of the century. She climbed out of the shower feeling refreshed and decided to go for a walk. They agreed and off they went in the sports car, with the wind blowing through their hair and truckers honking at them as they sped by. Doing roughly 35 mph in a school zone. Then of all things.....the Ducks bleedin wig blew away....But that was alright, she stole Carolly's to wear. Soon, the girls saw a cop coming at them with his red lights on, wanting them to pull over! He was sooooo handsome that the Duck passed out hoping he would give her the kiss of life.....So Duck pulled off the side of the road to get out of the way. And put out her arms for the cop to perform CPR on her. She was happy that her friend Trunk Monkey let her borrow her red lip gloss that day and slightly puckered up when the cop approached her face. looked at it................and.................turned around and was sick...........But do not despair, the cop didn't feel like giving her a ticket that day. Duck appreciated that and thanked him, but first asked him to travel back and retrieve her wig that blew off so she could give it back to Carolly. then he asked all of them back to his place..........The cop was taken aback and thought, why not?" What???????.....what yoiu reading woman...........now keep up. Ok, ok, ok! They all joined the cop for a drink at his place. He was also going to order some Chinese food. He asked his mates round who were famous actors. That Carolly had meet in her past to help. she realised one was the father of her child...................shock...........horror!!!! but which child was sired by this man? The 14th one. She though, umm, I should take this jerk to court and bang him up for some child support payments he's been missing for how long? 30 years. Wait a min. how old is this chick? which one as Ive completely lost the plot and aint a clue who is who or what is what. Ere Im nuf laughing here as Ive never read such a crap novel Who is the author of this crazy novel? This story started with somebody waking up, remembering a dream, tripping over dirty laundry.........I could go on. Thought we were doing a best seller and could make our fortunes.Good aint it:DEre do you fink it will be a best seller????

:-3:rolleyes:

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Wed Mar 26, 2008 5:55 pm

:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotflsorry.......but have you ever read such aload of old..............you know what in your life:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

G#Gill · Post by **G#Gill** » Wed Mar 26, 2008 6:02 pm

And they lived unhappily for the rest of their lives .......................................

:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Wed Mar 26, 2008 6:14 pm

Im gonna kill that Duck when I see her...........she mucked my chances up of becoming a millionairess:sneaky::(

-1

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Thu Mar 27, 2008 5:39 am

Let's start another story and Carolly can write under an assumed name.:wah:

BHughesNC · Post by **BHughesNC** » Thu Mar 27, 2008 6:43 am

Oh! The story is not over. I just wanted everyone to see where it was to this point.

Was this real, or I had I just bumped my head when tripping over the pile of laundry?

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Thu Mar 27, 2008 6:44 am

She did trip over the laundry, but did not bump her head. Instead she bumped her bum:wah:

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Thu Mar 27, 2008 6:56 am

Egomaniac!

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Thu Mar 27, 2008 7:07 am

Discovered she was out of her favorite detergent, Royal Cheer.

G#Gill · Post by **G#Gill** » Thu Mar 27, 2008 7:32 am

So she searched in the cupboard for an alternative............................. but found nothing suitable................................... so she went upstairs to the bathroom ................................. Ah, just the thing !! .............. a large bottle of bubble bath .........................that would do just fine ! ..................so she returned down to the laundry room, put one load of dirty clothes into the machine and poured some bubble bath liquid into the soap container, ................... switched the machine on ..............

then went back into the kitchen to clear some dirty dishes................................

Mustang · Post by **Mustang** » Thu Mar 27, 2008 9:01 am

The man from down at the drug store that was trying to sell her rubber gloves.

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Thu Mar 27, 2008 5:35 pm

She had seen him before in the shop as he rolled his eyes at her.................by chance she managed to catch them............

G#Gill · Post by **G#Gill** » Thu Mar 27, 2008 6:45 pm

......... leering at her. She cast the thought from her mind, as she saw that it was not him on the phone, but Richard Quinton otherwise known as Dick, from the nearby garage ............she picked up the phone... ....Hello ! .......... he asked if she wanted filling up before the prices went up at midnight ............. petrol prices were so high ........... she said...........

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Thu Mar 27, 2008 6:48 pm

Sex on legs ......you can fill me up anytime;) and then she realised it wasnt him but her mother having a laugh:-5:-5

kayleneaussie · Post by **kayleneaussie** » Thu Mar 27, 2008 6:59 pm

In the meantime a tidal wave of bubbles came bursting out of the laundry with carols old lady nickers in them......................

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Thu Mar 27, 2008 7:05 pm

kayleneaussie;818565 wrote: In the meantime a tidal wave of bubbles came bursting out of the laundry with carols old lady nickers in them......................
OI!!!!!!!!!!! What you doin here woman:-5this is for people who can write best novels not rif raf like you:p......now go and play with the traffic please while we continue with yet another Block Buster:rolleyes::mad:

kayleneaussie · Post by **kayleneaussie** » Thu Mar 27, 2008 7:05 pm

Well you put the shampoo in the washing machine:p

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Thu Mar 27, 2008 7:07 pm

kayleneaussie;818568 wrote: Well you put the shampoo in the washing machine:pCan this person please be escourted from this thread please:-5:mad:

G#Gill · Post by **G#Gill** » Thu Mar 27, 2008 7:12 pm

Sorry Kay it was bubble bath :wah::wah::wah:

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Thu Mar 27, 2008 7:16 pm

Right Im going to bed.........I have to fink about this

:p

kayleneaussie · Post by **kayleneaussie** » Thu Mar 27, 2008 7:23 pm

G#Gill;818571 wrote: Sorry Kay it was bubble bath :wah::wah::wah:

Oh yea so it was:-5:-5

G#Gill · Post by **G#Gill** » Thu Mar 27, 2008 7:24 pm

"

......me washing machine has got all buggered up wiv me bubble barf !! and me name aint Carol it's Matilda an me friends call me Mat !!! so there ! grrrrrrrrr :-5 "

Mat sorted all the foamy washing out, she found Jimbo's 'rug' in there as well :-2 ......

then she mopped the floor...............Finally sorted, she realised she was rather damp herself, so Mat pegged herself out on the line with the rest of the clothes, to dry in the sun.................:yh_rotfl

kayleneaussie · Post by **kayleneaussie** » Thu Mar 27, 2008 7:25 pm

Carolly;818569 wrote: Can this person please be escourted from this thread please:-5:mad:

Ok I am going:driving:

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Fri Mar 28, 2008 2:00 am

and then realised she was having a daft half hour...........even made the stupid name up.........why did she do that.........prob because she was going through such a hard time not really knowing if she was a Mat or a Carolly......she looked in the mirror and saw such a dead glam person looking back at her she realised she was indeed a woman and Mat didnt exist..........anyway then she went and had a shave:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:p

SlipStream · Post by **SlipStream** » Fri Mar 28, 2008 3:18 am

so putting it all behind me.

G#Gill · Post by **G#Gill** » Fri Mar 28, 2008 5:09 am

.......... What a day ! Still, Carolly, having had her shave and decided to start the day again putting it all behind her, got her shopping bags, put on her wellington boots and got into her car to drive to the grocery store ................ as she backed out of her drive there was a jolt and a grinding of metal sound ...................:rolleyes::-5

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Fri Mar 28, 2008 5:12 am

of her brakes had failed, arrgghhh! Damn, she thought, just had the car inspected. Now I've got to come up with a few hundred to get them fixed.

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Fri Mar 28, 2008 6:39 am

then thought.............ang on

why did my son charge me so much and is he trying to do me in so he can get money for all me dolls............or maybe even want them for himself:-3

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Fri Mar 28, 2008 6:43 am

But then Carolly thought, "nah, I probably just ran over the garbage can lid" and thought about her son and her dolls and went driving down the road................

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Fri Mar 28, 2008 6:49 am

She rememberd her son the day he was born.................gawd he was ugly......the nurse even looked at him and said.............sorry but we cant put him back.............

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Fri Mar 28, 2008 6:50 am

in the nursery, we'll have to keep him here with you in your room.................

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Fri Mar 28, 2008 7:09 am

I cried as not only having an ugly baby I was missing me dolls

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Fri Mar 28, 2008 7:12 am

who were much prettier, but she then thought outloud "ugly babies usually grow up to be really good looking adults".

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Fri Mar 28, 2008 7:32 am

then she thought about all of the focers and decided thats not always true..........

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Fri Mar 28, 2008 7:34 am

but there is always plastic surgery:wah: