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spot;482417 wrote: The simple ways are best. Saying "By the way, your flies are undone" and, when they look, following it with "ha ha, got you that time" is as certain a way of ending a conversation that I know. Works for me every time, formulatic or not.




no flies on spot then

jimbo;482421 wrote: no flies on spot then :)I just spent a puzzling few moments trying to convince a disbelieving koan that the plural "flies" relates to the period before the zip became commonplace in trousers, and forms a contraction of "your fly buttons are undone". I should have just left it unsaid, she thinks I make these things up.

spot;482424 wrote: I just spent a puzzling few moments trying to convince a disbelieving koan that the plural "flies" relates to the period before the zip became commonplace in trousers, and forms a contraction of "your fly buttons are undone". I should have just left it unsaid, she thinks I make these things up.


koan he is making it up i have no idea what he is talking about :sneaky: :sneaky: :wah: :wah:

yes, spot. I think you make these things up.

usually it turns out you are right. but not always

:wah: :wah: :wah: sorry spot i could not resist it :wah: he is of course telling the truth koan

jimbo;482441 wrote: :wah: :wah: :wah: sorry spot i could not resist it :wah: he is of course telling the truth koan


Thank you jimbo. The cheque is in the post.

it would help if he didn't look mischievous when he said it

koan;482445 wrote: it would help if he didn't look mischievous when he said it


was he doing them up or..... actually i'm going

Hi, jimbo, how are you?

Well done, Wendy! :yh_clap

koan;481649 wrote: Does anyone else have trouble with meaningless phrases?

Sometimes people really want to know how I am and it is pleasant when they ask but when it is said without the slightest intention of listening to the answer.... it drives me batty. (sorry zinky - no pun intended)

How are you ... at dealing with inane chatter? I don't. I screw it up every time.


Terrible at it, would rather say nothing than make small talk....

anybody that makes the mistake of talking to me is in for it. i am a good listener. i usually know someones life story when we part. people always confide in me ...........

being a good listener is usually a good quality, guppy. :-6

not enough of them in the world.

the good thing is i dont remember it long enough to be able to gossip . my family and friends are always surprised at the people that will corner me up and vent on me. i dont mind. they feel better and i often end up with a new friend. :-6

ooh. thought of another one:

"can you keep a secret?" :-5

I just tell people I can't. I don't need the aggravation.

If someone shares a confidence with me it comes out in an entirely different way and those details I keep secure. If the story starts with "hey, can you keep a secret?" it is inevitably something I a) don't want to know and b) everyone else knows already anyway.

Another useless phrase from the consumer world:

"Will that be all then?"

what? it wasn't enough?

I'm terrible at small talk.

But then, I'm not a big talker anyway. :-6

jimbo;482244 wrote: i live near ascot races



i hate it in the states when they say whats up



the sky , the roof ...the stars ... little jimbo ... not so much at my age but thanks for asking ... how did whats up become how are you i mean



another thing is how did a fat bald guy having breakfast minding his own .. just commenting on the heat of the day

saying "i'm really hot" make loads of young waitresses fall about laughing for over there on a hot day it means if you say i'm really hot that you think your really good looking how did that happen ? so moral of story is if your fat bald and sooo not good looking just dont comment on the temp or loads of young women will fall about laughing at you honest :wah:
Hey jimbo, This wasnt at the same time you had ear wax running out of your ear was it? They might have just thought you were so hot you were melting.:wah:

And another thing that really annoys me is the tendancy for shop assistant to ring up your items and then say 'That's .... altogether' even if you're only buying one thing! What's with the altogether? I don't want things all apart of course I want them altogether!!!

when I go into a fast food restaurant and order a bunch of food (there's 4 of us) and they always ask "for here or to go?" :-2

would you like to supersize that?

(I look like I weigh 90lbs)

"I'll have a soy mocha"



"Would you like whip cream on that?" :-5

Sitting in a bar having a drink. Bartender: You wanna another drink? Of course I want another drink, I would have left if not.

Walking into any pub in England

"Can I get you something to drink?"

nah, I'm here for the food :rolleyes:

I often need to travel on my own and absolutely love it when I go into a restaurant and they look at me and say "Just for One"? I usually pause, look around me obviously, and eventually say something like "Looks like it".

What's the American and or Canadian for "Adjust your dress, Sir"? In Australia - in the days of buttoned daks, one had flies! One still does have flies, in summer, which is why the hat with dangling corks was invented.

I'd ask for a table for two then play cards with my invisible friend.

actually, i've seen someone doing that at The Pickle Barrel in Toronto.

looked like he was losing too, cause he got awful mad.

AussiePam;482733 wrote: I often need to travel on my own and absolutely love it when I go into a restaurant and they look at me and say "Just for One"? I usually pause, look around me obviously, and eventually say something like "Looks like it".



What's the American and or Canadian for "Adjust your dress, Sir"? In Australia - in the days of buttoned daks, one had flies! One still does have flies, in summer, which is why the hat with dangling corks was invented.
We say: I see you are at the ready but I don't think you will be needing your pistol out so quickly at the moment.

GUFFAW.

Never thought of taking a pack of cards. A chess set, maybe. Actually, I usually take a book, in such circs.

YZGI;482738 wrote: We say: I see you are at the ready but I don't think you will be needing your pistol out so quickly at the moment.


Good Lord YZGI!! What a mouthfull !!! :sneaky:

one from the 80s

XYZ (examine your zipper)

I have also found that "het dumbass zip it." works quite well.

yikes. just remembered a behind the scenes moment from the making of The Mummy.

when the dude has a scarab eating it's way up the guy's neck from the inside, he's flailing around trying to stop it. When they shot it, the guy had his zipper open and flailed right out of his pants.

I saw 'behind the scenes' and went all pale and faint for a moment.... grin.

Back to the Mummy. What a thought to carry into the working day. Reckon I gotta pay that one!!!

I do remember a good scene is the film of the Taming of the Shrew, when Richard Burton tells all his men to 'tidy themselves up' as there is a Lady in the house.

Every which way but loose, man.

Let it all hang out!

koan;482512 wrote: ooh. thought of another one:

"can you keep a secret?" :-5




How about "You know I hate gossip, BUT..."



And P.S. - Hi guys, how are you today? :sneaky:

G'day Bagels. How ya doin?

I always thought "Can you keep a secret" was code for "I'm going to tell you some gossip now and I'd like it spread around please".

OOps

How about...

TOMBSTONE!!

you turned some of my buttons green.

koan;482843 wrote: How about...



TOMBSTONE!!



you turned some of my buttons green.
Green buttons mean you are on double secret probation.

I hate it when I walk into a shop specific to something like a barber and they ask "how may I help you ?"

Sometimes Ill say Im here for my piano lesson or where is the dairy aisle. :rolleyes:

YZGI;482683 wrote: Hey jimbo, This wasnt at the same time you had ear wax running out of your ear was it? They might have just thought you were so hot you were melting.:wah:


your getting on my WICK buddy :wah: :wah: