New guy in an odd situation (long)
Posted: Mon Aug 08, 2005 9:02 am
Hello guys,
Just realized that I had this site bookmarked and came back in for a read... it looks like this thread has had a good run so I figure that it deserved an update.
A lot of you were right... this was a dead end situation that I probably shoudn't have gotten in to in the first place. I will say that, all in all, I have no regrets. This was another great life's experience and I feel all the wiser for going through it.
The plain and simple end to this story came back around the holidays...
It had become pretty evident that one of the biggest issues she had with her hubby ( other than no sex drive ) was that he barely contributed to the household in a financial aspect. He was very content with working odd jobs ( intermittent income at best ) and showed no desire to seek full time employment anytime soon. I think that in our time ( her and I ) together that she really started to fancy the idea that I was not only great in bed ( not trying to brag here ) but that I was also responsable enough to take care of myself and my two children alone. In looking back I really think that this became the bigger attraction.
Anyway, I was out of town with some friends one weekend in early December and she called me in the middle of the night to tell me that she had just asked her husband for a divorce. The argument preceeding her call was about their financial situation and not about the sex, or lack there of. I came to find out that this had been an issue between them for quite some time and she had finally had enough. I am sure that her and I being together helped push her toward asking for the divorce... not because she wanted to leave him for me in particular but because being with me made her realize that she could find someone else that she could be happy with.
We met for lunch the next week and I pretty much told her that I was not going to get in the middle of her divorce. That if she were serious about going through with it then we shouldn't be seeing each other while it was happening. Much to my surprise, she totally agreed! Although our feelings for each other were still what they were, as adults we both knew this was the best road to take. The last time I talked to her ( back around the beginning of summer ) they had done some counsuling, apparently resolved some issues, and were working on saving thier marriage. I can honestly say that even though my feelings for her were ( and still would by if we still saw each other on a regular basis ) strong, I would really like to see them make work it out.
This may seem cold and uncaring on my part but, I'm really glad things have turned out this way. I try to look for good in every bad situation and I can't help thinking that her and I, having what we had, may have actually been the catalyst for them to really dig deep and make their relationship work. I am still here, not terribly hurt or crushed, and still in the game... a little older and wiser, but still in the game.
As a footnote... I have since had a VERY short relationship with a woman that turned out to be nuts... about 2 weeks into seeing her, she had already made room in her closet for my " things" and was trying to convince me to go on vacation with her and her family ( mom, dad, grandparents, etc. ) this summer. The thing that really made me run like hell was that without ever meeting my kids ( I am very mindfull of who they meet and when and how they meet them ) she was trying to figure out how she could make room for all of us in her house...:-2. Since then I really haven't tried to get "involved" with anyone but have done a few "blind dates" that friends have fixed me up on. Lot's of fun I must say!
Sorry it took so long to get back on here and I hope that some of the members that have followed this thread will respond... I just wanted to let yall know what happened.
RIP
Just realized that I had this site bookmarked and came back in for a read... it looks like this thread has had a good run so I figure that it deserved an update.
A lot of you were right... this was a dead end situation that I probably shoudn't have gotten in to in the first place. I will say that, all in all, I have no regrets. This was another great life's experience and I feel all the wiser for going through it.
The plain and simple end to this story came back around the holidays...
It had become pretty evident that one of the biggest issues she had with her hubby ( other than no sex drive ) was that he barely contributed to the household in a financial aspect. He was very content with working odd jobs ( intermittent income at best ) and showed no desire to seek full time employment anytime soon. I think that in our time ( her and I ) together that she really started to fancy the idea that I was not only great in bed ( not trying to brag here ) but that I was also responsable enough to take care of myself and my two children alone. In looking back I really think that this became the bigger attraction.
Anyway, I was out of town with some friends one weekend in early December and she called me in the middle of the night to tell me that she had just asked her husband for a divorce. The argument preceeding her call was about their financial situation and not about the sex, or lack there of. I came to find out that this had been an issue between them for quite some time and she had finally had enough. I am sure that her and I being together helped push her toward asking for the divorce... not because she wanted to leave him for me in particular but because being with me made her realize that she could find someone else that she could be happy with.
We met for lunch the next week and I pretty much told her that I was not going to get in the middle of her divorce. That if she were serious about going through with it then we shouldn't be seeing each other while it was happening. Much to my surprise, she totally agreed! Although our feelings for each other were still what they were, as adults we both knew this was the best road to take. The last time I talked to her ( back around the beginning of summer ) they had done some counsuling, apparently resolved some issues, and were working on saving thier marriage. I can honestly say that even though my feelings for her were ( and still would by if we still saw each other on a regular basis ) strong, I would really like to see them make work it out.
This may seem cold and uncaring on my part but, I'm really glad things have turned out this way. I try to look for good in every bad situation and I can't help thinking that her and I, having what we had, may have actually been the catalyst for them to really dig deep and make their relationship work. I am still here, not terribly hurt or crushed, and still in the game... a little older and wiser, but still in the game.
As a footnote... I have since had a VERY short relationship with a woman that turned out to be nuts... about 2 weeks into seeing her, she had already made room in her closet for my " things" and was trying to convince me to go on vacation with her and her family ( mom, dad, grandparents, etc. ) this summer. The thing that really made me run like hell was that without ever meeting my kids ( I am very mindfull of who they meet and when and how they meet them ) she was trying to figure out how she could make room for all of us in her house...:-2. Since then I really haven't tried to get "involved" with anyone but have done a few "blind dates" that friends have fixed me up on. Lot's of fun I must say!
Sorry it took so long to get back on here and I hope that some of the members that have followed this thread will respond... I just wanted to let yall know what happened.
RIP
