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Carolly;1000716 wrote: See Kaz We All Care And Dont You Forget It


Thanks:o and thanks to all you for your concern:-4 i know i can come on here an dmoan,, im always the first to tell people to come here and have a rant if they need,, i think i was just more sick of hearing meself moan really:wah:Anyway things are a bit better now,, my dad seemed to be going ddown fast in that hospital and he was in a right mess, more mentally then physical, but mam phoned me MOnday afternoon to say they were taking him back to the rehab centre, so that was a relief, that was half the problem being somewhere strange with strange people. Also apologies in advance to any nurses, but the ones we have in our hospitals here are a far cry form a caring nursing image they should be called hospital workers not nurses, at the rehab place they are much more caring and personal. I am going to see him tonight so im hoping to see an improvement at least in his mood.

As for my son,,, well god knows when he will get sorted out, maybe when he grows up, after all he is only 25:rolleyes::-5

Anyway i hope you lot are all ok and having a good day so far, and thanks agian for all your good wishes:D

lynne;1003753 wrote: Im glad everyone is ok. Everytime i come into forum garden ive loads of posts to read, have been busy, got a friend in hospital, he had a stroke nearly a month ago, so thats kept me busy.
Wish him well.

Afternoon Kaz. Glad to hear your dad is doing a little better and is better off in the rehab. Hope his mood is better tonight when you visit. As for your son, umm, yeah, 25 is the time to grow up. Kick him in the arse.:wah:

qsducks;1003803 wrote: Afternoon Kaz. Glad to hear your dad is doing a little better and is better off in the rehab. Hope his mood is better tonight when you visit. As for your son, umm, yeah, 25 is the time to grow up. Kick him in the arse.:wah:


thanks Ducky:D ye 25 eh still acts like a 16 yr old mostly,, oh well i think men in general dont grow up till they are about 50,,, then start going back in to their childhood at 60:wah::wah::wah:

Hubs was acting like a 21 yr last night. Bad boy:sneaky:, wasn't feeling so great this morning though:wah:

qsducks;1003844 wrote: Hubs was acting like a 21 yr last night. Bad boy:sneaky:, wasn't feeling so great this morning though:wah:


:wah::wah: erm i wont ask:D

kazalala;1003759 wrote: Thanks:o and thanks to all you for your concern:-4 i know i can come on here an dmoan,, im always the first to tell people to come here and have a rant if they need,, i think i was just more sick of hearing meself moan really:wah:Anyway things are a bit better now,, my dad seemed to be going ddown fast in that hospital and he was in a right mess, more mentally then physical, but mam phoned me MOnday afternoon to say they were taking him back to the rehab centre, so that was a relief, that was half the problem being somewhere strange with strange people. Also apologies in advance to any nurses, but the ones we have in our hospitals here are a far cry form a caring nursing image they should be called hospital workers not nurses, at the rehab place they are much more caring and personal. I am going to see him tonight so im hoping to see an improvement at least in his mood.

As for my son,,, well god knows when he will get sorted out, maybe when he grows up, after all he is only 25

Anyway i hope you lot are all ok and having a good day so far, and thanks agian for all your good wishes:DWB Mate;):-4

kazalala;1003845 wrote: :wah::wah: erm i wont ask:D


He drank too much:wah:, then walked in his sleep and was chatting away. Fell asleep on the sofa.

qsducks;1003878 wrote: He drank too much:wah:, then walked in his sleep and was chatting away. Fell asleep on the sofa.Never seen a Duck do that:-3:rolleyes::wah:;)

qsducks;1003878 wrote: He drank too much:wah:, then walked in his sleep and was chatting away. Fell asleep on the sofa.


ooops well i spose it could be worse:rolleyes::D

Carolly;1003884 wrote: Never seen a Duck do that:-3:rolleyes::wah:;)


I should have youtubed it:wah:

qsducks;1003889 wrote: I should have youtubed it:wah:
:wah::wah::wah::D

kazalala;1003888 wrote: ooops well i spose it could be worse:rolleyes::D


Yeah, he didn't fall in the bathtub or down the steps:wah:

OK im going now,, gonna have a coffee then go see my dad ,, take care everyone,, might be back later not sure yet,, if not i'll see you all tomorrow:D:-4

Hiya all !

Hi Kaz, wish your dad well from us all, and you take care - bye for now matey ! :-4

Hi Odie, hi Lynne - wish your friend well Hi Helen !!

Hi Carol, how are you today?

Gawd it's a chuffin nightmare here ! Keep getting asked to do things -- have I done this, could you do that, has so and so rung yet, have you rung up such and such, did you check my emails ??????? grrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

I need a cup of coffee !!!!!!!!



Anyway, a few little jokes to cheer us all up........................................

An elderly gentleman...

Had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%

The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, 'Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.'

The gentleman replied, 'Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!'



Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement centre were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?'

Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.'

'Really!? Like a newborn baby!?'

'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'



An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.

The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly.'

The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?'

The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love?

You know... The one that's red and has thorns.'

'Do you mean a rose?'

'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?'



Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suit case at his feet, who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital.

After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator.

On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.

'I don't know,' he said. 'She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.'



Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember

Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.

'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?'

'Sure.'

'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks.

'No, I can remember it.'

'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so's not to forget it?'

He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.'

'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks.

Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!'

Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes,

The old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment.

'Where's my toast ?'



A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:

'So I hear you're getting married?'

'Yep!'

'Do I know her?'

'Nope!'

'This woman, is she good looking?'

'Not really.'

'Is she a good cook?'

'Naw, she can't cook too well.'

'Does she have lots of money?'

'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.'

'Well, then, is she good in bed?'

'I don't know.'

'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?'

'Because she can still drive!'





Three old guys are out walking.

First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?'

Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!'

Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer.'



A man was telling his neighbour, 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand pounds, but it's state of the art. It's perfect.'

'Really,' answered the neighbour. 'What kind is it?'

'Twelve thirty.'



Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.

A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.

A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?'

Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.''

The doctor said, 'I didn't say that. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'



One more. . .!



A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlour and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.. After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.

The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'

'No,' he replied, 'arthritis.

:rolleyes::D

:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl My parent's would love these jokes Gill.

Good Evening Peeps:-6

Havent read back here yet, will do but kids are in a rowdy mood and I keep getting distracted:D

Hey all...... it's been an awful day here weatherwise.... rain one minute, sunshine the next!..... it's driving me bonkers!

Like Chezzie, have backed through the thread yet... did notice kazalala was on though - hope your dad is well sweetheart... x

Chezzie;1004079 wrote: Good Evening Peeps:-6

Havent read back here yet, will do but kids are in a rowdy mood and I keep getting distracted:D


The little devils:wah:

Ok I'll be back later too. Have to go attend a school meeting regarding my little devil. See you around 5pm my time.

Hi Ducky, and Hi Chezzie wezzie - I know the feeling Chez !! I've had distractions all blinkin day grrrrrrrrr.

Those jokes were sent to me by email from my sister, in the Isle of Skye (North West Scotland) who received them by email from a friend who lives 8 miles from me !!! :wah: (I live on the outskirts of Nottingham).

If I take off my cloak of invisibility will you guys say hi to me too?

Chezzie;1004079 wrote: Good Evening Peeps:-6

Havent read back here yet, will do but kids are in a rowdy mood and I keep getting distracted:D


hey Chezzie, rowdy kids?

lock em up!:wah:

hi scouse:D:p

me taxi is booked for about 20mins time so will have to switch off.

will read yer jokes later gill..................

have a good evening everyone :-4



got some new darts,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, they're bright pink :-3:wah:

scouse;1004122 wrote: If I take off my cloak of invisibility will you guys say hi to me too?Watcha Gorg:D;)

[QUOTE=got some new darts,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, they're bright pink :-3:wah:


darts are fun!:wah:

scouse;1004087 wrote: Hey all...... it's been an awful day here weatherwise.... rain one minute, sunshine the next!..... it's driving me bonkers!

Like Chezzie, have backed through the thread yet... did notice kazalala was on though - hope your dad is well sweetheart... xRIGHT WHO IGNORED THIS THREAD:-5:-5....................Sorted mate;):D

PMSL, thank you Helen and Carolly... good to see you girls.... how's your day been?

Gill - Loved the jokes babe, especially this one! :yh_rotfl

Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember

Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.

'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?'

'Sure.'

'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks.

'No, I can remember it.'

'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so's not to forget it?'

He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.'

'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks.

Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!'

Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes,

The old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment.

'Where's my toast ?'

Hi Carol, Helen, Kaz. Kay, Gill, Hope,Ducks, Odie, Scouse and anyone else who has passed through here today............:-4

scouse;1004122 wrote: If I take off my cloak of invisibility will you guys say hi to me too?


Oh sorry Scouse, did I miss you out .......... aaaaaawwwwwwwwww how rude of me!! No seriously I didn't realise you had posted this afternoon. :rolleyes: Think I need to visit 'Specsavers' :rolleyes: :-6

Hiya Chezzie! :-4

LOL Gill :-4 that's OK, I'm used to talking to myself at home, I'm not surprised my ramblings get ignored :p:wah:

I aint read back yet as I just spoke to our lovely Kinks in Cyprus on the phone....shes fine and sends her love....the little darling:D:-4

Hi Odie, how's u Mrs ?

Helen, please don't repeat the colour of your darts in front of Carol, she'll only want a set ffs !!!:rolleyes::D

scouse;1004207 wrote: Hiya Chezzie!

LOL Gill :-4 that's OK, I'm used to talking to myself at home, I'm not surprised my ramblings get ignored


Carolly;1004217 wrote: I aint read back yet as I just spoke to our lovely Kinks in Cyprus on the phone....shes fine and sends her love....the little darling:D:-4


Hiya Scouse:-4

Ahhhh me lil Gem drop is A...OK:sneaky:

G#Gill;1004219 wrote: Hi Odie, how's u Mrs ?

Helen, please don't repeat the colour of your darts in front of Carol, she'll only want a set ffs !!!:rolleyes::DAre they Pink:D:-4:-4

Carolly;1004217 wrote: I aint read back yet as I just spoke to our lovely Kinks in Cyprus on the phone....shes fine and sends her love....the little darling:D:-4


Ere Mrs, you never ring me :-1

Good to hear that our Kinks is fine :-6

Carolly;1004222 wrote: Are they Pink:D:-4:-4


Not saying :p:p

Chezzie;1004196 wrote: Hi Carol, Helen, Kaz. Kay, Gill, Hope,Ducks, Odie, Scouse and anyone else who has passed through here today............:-4


Meeting got cancelled as hubs is about 40 miles from our house and will never be here in time. Kinda glad myself that we don't have to go. The nun is a real ****-ant and prickly.

qsducks;1004230 wrote: Meeting got cancelled as hubs is about 40 miles from our house and will never be here in time. Kinda glad myself that we don't have to go. The nun is a real ****-ant and prickly.

Yeah, that's what I'd like to do to her:wah:

:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl :p

qsducks;1004236 wrote: Yeah, that's what I'd like to do to her:wah:


Steady Ducky ................................. she may enjoy it :wah:

Chezzie;1004221 wrote: Hiya Scouse:-4

Ahhhh me lil Gem drop is A...OK:sneaky:Pee taker:wah::wah::p

G#Gill;1004225 wrote: Ere Mrs, you never ring me :-1

Good to hear that our Kinks is fine :-6
Well move to bleedin Cyprus and I will ffs:rolleyes::p

Carolly;1004250 wrote: Pee taker:wah::wah::p

G#Gill;1004241 wrote: Steady Ducky ................................. she may enjoy it :wah:


i'm on the phone with her right now. Wow, she is so rude:mad:

qsducks;1004261 wrote: i'm on the phone with her right now. Wow, she is so rude:mad::wah::wah::wah::p

Chezzie;1004260 wrote: Now behave or else:sneaky::mad::-5