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Tater Tazz;512826 wrote: He relized that he had become extremly drunk and broke his glass.

He thought to himself, could I..............................


have cut myself shaving?

He went to the Men's room.....................

Pinky;513240 wrote: And to his amazement saw...


a reflection in the mirror.

To his amasment it was a.........................

Pinky;513280 wrote: Rabid Polar Bear with a....


doughnut in it's mouth.

when the polar bear turned around he saw.................

... be on an island with a pirate ship and all his friends. So he...

Rain;513436 wrote: ... be on an island with a pirate ship and all his friends. So he...


rented a boat and sailed away.

While sailing away............................

Tater Tazz;513717 wrote: rented a boat and sailed away.

While sailing away............................


He remembered that he forgot to take clean underwear and..........

Mustang;513948 wrote: He remembered that he forgot to take clean underwear and..........


his american express card, shouldn't leave home without it.

So, he started back to get the underwear and credit card and................

WonderWendy3;513959 wrote: his american express card, shouldn't leave home without it.

So, he started back to get the underwear and credit card and................


all of a sudden a huge spash on his starboard side startled him so much that he..............

Mustang;513971 wrote: all of a sudden a huge spash on his starboard side startled him so much that he..............
started to sing the national anthem.

To everyones amazment he sounded like.....................

Tater Tazz;514013 wrote: started to sing the national anthem.

To everyones amazment he sounded like.....................


Rosie O'Donnell singing and dancing at the Coyote Ugly bar in Texas. Everybody downed another shot to.............

Mustang;514048 wrote: Rosie O'Donnell singing and dancing at the Coyote Ugly bar in Texas. Everybody downed another shot to.............


drowned out the sound of rosie.

To my amazment, the door flew open and it was...............

Donald Trump!



He roared,"I've come to destroy you, you bully!"



Rosie leapt from the bar and ...............

...landed right on Trump's lap. The chair broke and they went flying over to the....

........Jukebox. They crashed into it with a sickening 'THUD!' The force of the collision made the juke box come to life.



As the first notes of "The Devil Went Down To Georgia" began to play, Rosie and The Donald Rose to their feet and Squared Off.



Trump made the first move.



He ...........

Knocked that foul mouthed wench right into...

.....the Pool Table. BOOM! The room seemed to shake as she hit the ground.



Rosie recovered quickly and grabbed A few of the Pool Balls Off of the table.



She began hurling them at Trump. But he easily deflected them using his expertly groomed Pompadour.



He launched himself at Rosie, Grabbing a Pool cue as He went airborne.



He positioned it as though he were jousting and ..........

Fibonacci;514973 wrote: .....the Pool Table. BOOM! The room seemed to shake as she hit the ground.



Rosie recovered quickly and grabbed A few of the Pool Balls Off of the table.



She began hurling them at Trump. But he easily deflected them using his expertly groomed Pompadour.



He launched himself at Rosie, Grabbing a Pool cue as He went airborne.



He positioned it as though he were jousting and ..........


then to everyones amazment, he began to dance.

next thing you know rosie...................

Tater Tazz;515110 wrote: then to everyones amazment, he began to dance.

next thing you know rosie...................


had joined in with him and together they tapped and pirouetted around the room.

The music changed to .............

chocoholic;515222 wrote: had joined in with him and together they tapped and pirouetted around the room.

The music changed to .............


laughter, as everyone was laughing because the donald had split his pants!

In the next second, I relized that it was.................................

Tater Tazz;515350 wrote:

In the next second, I relized that it was.................................




.....all being captured on video to be shown at......

Marie5656;515628 wrote: .....all being captured on video to be shown at......


the funniest home vidieo show.

so he decided......................

..............Get some free advertising.



He spun Rosie away from Him and began to promote the new season of the Apprentice.



Rosie's anger rose anew. She..........

Fibonacci;515862 wrote: ...............

.



Rosie's anger rose anew. She..........


...Jumped up from her chair on the View..turned to Barbara Walters and yelled.....

"Are you going to let him get away with that?"



"No, Of couwse not Wosie"



Barbara Ran to her dressing room to retrieve her lightsaber.



"Let's Woll!"



They arrived at Trump's Press conference and .........

Fibonacci;516023 wrote: "Are you going to let him get away with that?"



"No, Of couwse not Wosie"



Barbara Ran to her dressing room to retrieve her lightsaber.



"Let's Woll!"



They arrived at Trump's Press conference and .........


And started to act like monkeys .

princessNicky;516074 wrote: And started to act like monkeys .


Then all of a sudden, the donald yelled your fired!

To everyones amazment rosie and barbra....................

Tater Tazz;516116 wrote: Then all of a sudden, the donald yelled your fired!

To everyones amazment rosie and barbra....................


started to sing!

The singing woke me up, it was all a bad dream. This is the last time...........

Tater Tazz;517388 wrote: started to sing!

The singing woke me up, it was all a bad dream. This is the last time...........


I eat pizza and drink beer right before bedtime!............

Since I was up, I went to the kitchen to get some breakfast. When i opened the kitchen door, I froze. A.........

Fibonacci;517942 wrote: Since I was up, I went to the kitchen to get some breakfast. When i opened the kitchen door, I froze. A.........


A Elvis impersinator was standing there, getting ready to sing "Love me Tender" to me.

I was so shocked all I could do was..................

WonderWendy3;517944 wrote: A Elvis impersinator was standing there, getting ready to sing "Love me Tender" to me.

I was so shocked all I could do was..................


show him my blue suade shoes!

When I turned back to go to the bedroom there was............

Tater Tazz;517977 wrote: show him my blue suade shoes!

When I turned back to go to the bedroom there was............


Marilyn Monroe singing Happy Birthday to me.

I was so shocked I just stood there, when she finished I said..........

WonderWendy3;517982 wrote: Marilyn Monroe singing Happy Birthday to me.

I was so shocked I just stood there, when she finished I said..........


wow, that was nice but it's not my birthday.

Then I looked around, this is not my house, I was in.............

The Twilight Zone! Up was down, Left was Right, Right was Wrong! I knew that I had to escape before.........

James Dean came tearing around the corner in his Spider to pick me up. So I ran for the...

Front door. I was halfway there when my foot caught on something. I Looked down to see....

...Clint Eastwood pointing his gun up at me and asking if I felt lucky. Well, I did, so I...

Tried to kick the gun from his hand. he fired, Missing me by millimeters. My kick free me from his grip so i .............

Fibonacci;518265 wrote: Tried to kick the gun from his hand. he fired, Missing me by millimeters. My kick free me from his grip so i .............


ran like the coward I am.

When I got outside I noticed there was a beach with a......................

Tater Tazz;518528 wrote: ran like the coward I am.

When I got outside I noticed there was a beach with a......................
raft at the waters edge with Willis tied onto it. I thought, this would be.............

Mustang;518622 wrote: raft at the waters edge with Willis tied onto it. I thought, this would be.............


the perfect escape vehicle.

So, I headed for australia to visit...................................

Tater Tazz;519865 wrote: the perfect escape vehicle.

So, I headed for australia to visit...................................


Lady Pamela but I couldn't find her house, I was looking for a grand mansion so imagine my surprise to find that she was living in......................

...the middle of the desert with kangaroos and koala bears. So I...

Rain;520685 wrote: ...the middle of the desert with kangaroos and koala bears. So I...


offered to let her come and stay with me. She accepted but insisted on bringing.............

chocoholic;520983 wrote: offered to let her come and stay with me. She accepted but insisted on bringing.............


a cooler full of beer and champagne to share with..........

Mustang;520999 wrote: a cooler full of beer and champagne to share with..........


all of us.

But, when I turned around the cooler full of beer and champagne was gone!

We looked around and saw.....................

....A huge wallabee fading into the distance, with the cooler tucked under one arm.



There was no point in giving chase so..............