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koan wrote: What happens when you contrive a random post? Is it still random?Now I need Tylenol........

David813 wrote: THIS IS SOOO COOL!!!! There's some things I cannot figure out but I already LOVE it !!!!oh Christ Anastrophe, what HAVE you done???? opened pandora's box, unleashed evil on the world. God save us now.

I hate finishing 4th out of 10 players at a poker tournament. The money starts at third place! 4th is worse than 10th.

I wish I was playing Euchre right now....

If I was a poor Indian and a bunch of Conquistadors came up to me and asked, 'Where's all the gold?' , i don't think it would be a good idea to say, 'I swallowed it, so sue me!"

I'll bet the main reason that police put up ropes and keep everyone away from a plane crash is because they don't want someone to go walking up to the crash, lying down in the crash stuff and then, when one of the rescue people comes up, they act like they just woke up and go, "What the Hell was THAT?!!!"

I want to make this world a better place for our children, but not our children's children...because I don't think children should be having sex.

Too bad there's no such thing as a Golden Skunk, because you'd probably be proud to be sprayed by one.

If I had a mineshaft, I don't think I'd just abandon it, because there's got to be a better way.

Too bad you can't buy a VooDoo Globe so that you could make the Earth spin real fast and freak everybody out.

Jives wrote: Too bad you can't buy a VooDoo Globe so that you could make the Earth spin real fast and freak everybody out.what is Jives smoking today ?......

What if you could make the world spin backwards to see if time reversed?

lady cop wrote: what is Jives smoking today ?......


Jeopardy answer is......"What is banana peels?"

Correct for $200!

My wife says that the interesting thing about fly fishing is that it's two lives connected by a thin strand. C'mon Mrs Ives! Grow up.

Ever notice that if you miss the "i" and hit a key to the right of it, you get and "o"? So if you are typing "thing" and miss you get a "thong"?

That is the conection of underwear to the Universe. Everything is right next to everythong.

I don't think I'm alone when I say that I'd like to see more planets fall under the ruthless domination of our Solar System.

My wife was watching football games with me when she said, " You know, most sports are based on the idea of one group trying to protect it's territory from invasion of another group." "Yeah." I said, trying not to laugh. Girls are funny.

I''l bet that what happened was that they invented the wheel and fire on the same day. then, that night, they burned the wheel.

I think someone should have had the decency to tell me that the luncheon was free. To make someone run out with lunchmeat and cheese in their hands, pretending to throw up, is not what I call hospitality.

Jives wrote: My wife says that the interesting thing about fly fishing is that it's two lives connected by a thin strand. C'mon Mrs Ives! Grow up.
i dig her thinking

new birthday sneakers make me feel cool.

I HATE working on Sunday's and I'm out of hair gel.

I'd like to see a nude opera, because when they hit those high notes, I'll bet you could really see it in the genitals.

If you're a horse and somebody gets on you and falls off, then gets back on, I think you should buck them off right away.

Jives wrote: I'd like to see a nude opera, because when they hit those high notes, I'll bet you could really see it in the genitals.:-3 Ummmmm. Is it Happy Hour in your area?

Jives wrote: I'd like to see a nude opera, because when they hit those high notes, I'll bet you could really see it in the genitals.
yuck!

Since I have joined this site...the word "bollocks" has snuck into almost my daily vocabulary.

lady cop wrote: what is Jives smoking today ?......;)Took the words right outta my mouth, LC! Was thinking I'd post that

and then got to the next page and there you were!! I think Jives

is just trying to get into the "700 Club"!!!



Okay I don't remember the writer (maybe one of you will) but here's

a quote that should qualify as a randumb thought:



"If a hen and a half can lay an egg and a half in a day and a half,

how long does it take a monkey with a wooden leg to kick the seeds

out of a dill pickle?"



:p

hotsauce wrote: Since I have joined this site...the word "bollocks" has snuck into almost my daily vocabulary.I know what you mean! I say CHEEKY all the time now! "Sir, would you like ketchup & salt with that?" "Why yes! That would be CHEEKY!":wah:

David813 wrote: I know what you mean! I say CHEEKY all the time now! "Sir, would you like ketchup & salt with that?" "Why yes! That would be CHEEKY!":wah: you swiped that from Bothwell! and i notice you still like the pretty colors. you are very easily entertained eh?

8:00am This Morning I'm going to "Babysit" for my Grandson, while my Daughter goes shopping!!! That should be a hoot!!! (He's 1-1/2 yrs old, and runs around like crazy and never sits down!!)

Cars :driving:

If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might! If they screamed all the time for no good reason!

You shouldn't take a dog on the space shuttle, because he might stick his face out the window and burn it off.

What is "cheeky" anyway?



Someone called me that the other day. Good thing? Or, bad thing?

Anytime I see a thing screech across a room and latch onto some guy's neck, and the guy screams and tries to pull it off, I have to laugh because Hey! What is that thing?

If you ever fall offa high building, just go limp and look like a dummy, and maybe somebody will try to catch you, because Hey! Free dummy!

Most people don't know that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull with screws, can make an enemy look like a deer.

he was a cowboy mister, and he loved the land. he loved it so much that he made a woman out of dirt and married her. But when he kissed her, she disintegrated. Later at the funeral, when the preacher said, "Ashes to ashes" , some people laughed, so the cowboy shot them. At his hanging, he told the others, "I'll be waiting for you in Heaven...with a gun."

If a kid asks you why it's raining, I think a cute thing to tell them is "God is crying." If the kid asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell them is , "It's probably something you did."

Jives. Were you reading Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy? I just recognised the style.

koan wrote: Jives. Were you reading Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy? I just recognised the style.


Rats!! I'm found out! Uncovered! Exposed to the light! Oh the shame of it all! I'm melting, melting! What a world, what a world!

Darnit, Koan! I had six more to go too! :wah:

I hate wordiness, just say it and get to the point.

ie. I used to live on *** deer lane road. Ok give me a break too many words for one street name, now I am researching some boring stuff like composite tubes, and found another crazy street name..."girls school road" yep that is the actual street name

I think that is crazy.

What happened to 1st street or 12th Avenue huh??????

Get this - In Manning Iowa - there is a street named....ok you ready???



No Name Street...No kidding look on the map! What a town..

Why do people expect you to be clear headed, rational and have the ability to speak clearly when you first wake up?

devist8me wrote: Why do people expect you to be clear headed, rational and have the ability to speak clearly when you first wake up?
...on a monday morning to boot

I'm on my 14th hour on the clock here at work and I do believe I shall go mad if I don't get out of here soon! :driving:

minks wrote: ...on a monday morning to boot........is this PRE-coffee?? Because if it is, well that's just plain criminal....

David813 wrote: I'm on my 14th hour on the clock here at work and I do believe I shall go mad if I don't get out of here soon! :driving:
What do you do to be there so many hours?