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kayleneaussie;801342 wrote: Petal I will have you know I am a very good cook besides cooking baby food but honestly i would rather have someone to cook for me cause I am too busy:D


and i am a very very good cook ...

i am a multi talented lover ... lover!!!



Jj :-4

jones jones;801347 wrote: did i say 'half an hour?"

make that twenty minutes baby!

jj :-4


I don't know you might be surprised. I might be a little tougher than you think.

qsducks;800737 wrote: Oh how cute! I'll have to show this pic to my little guy, he loves dogs.


Crikey !! Talk about busy ! It's taken ages to catch up ! So many people on here, so I'll just say Hi to everybody --------------- just so I don't miss anybody out :wah:



DO NOT TALK TO THE PARROT !!!!!

Wanda's dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman. Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a cheque ."

"Oh, by the way don't worry about my dog Spike. He won't bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!" "I REPEAT; DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!"

When the repairman arrived at Wanda's apartment the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking dog he has ever seen. But, just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work.



The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing and name calling. Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled,

"Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!"











To which the parrot replied, "Get him, Spike!"



See - Men just don't listen!

:wah: Hahaha evening Gill, great joke!

Hope6;801359 wrote: I don't know you might be surprised. I might be a little tougher than you think.


your a woman ... right?

a beautiful sexy southern woman ... right?



i am Jj ... the chosen ... right?

make that fifteen minutes ...



Jj :-4 :-4

jones jones;801344 wrote: Ok stud.................its make yer mind up time...............me...........the mad Oz bird................Hope.............or half of population of crumpet in the universe

yes please maam ... all of the above please!!! :-4



jj :-4 :-4


[/ur

jones jones;801369 wrote: your a woman ... right?

a beautiful sexy southern woman ... right?



i am Jj ... the chosen ... right?

make that fifteen minutes ...



Jj :-4 :-4


well I thank you for the compliment, but you still aren't giving yourself much time besides we haven't even been properly introduced yet.

kazalala;801335 wrote: :pjust cos you cant cook[
As it happens Delia..........Im an A1 cook and they wanted me to go into cookery when I left school so there:pActually I made some Salmon Rissoles today....you eat them cold...........soooooo we may as well poison a few more

1 large tin of Pink Salmon

I Egg

1 grated Onion

About 2 medium potatoes boiled an mashed with nothing added

Salt an Pepper.

Basically mix it all up then wet yer hands an make into medium balls and pat them down.....I add something called Matzo Meal.....about 2 tablespoons to bind but a little flour may be ok.......I deep fried them today but have also shallow fried them in the past........cool down.....then I put them in the fridge and eat one every time I open the fridge:wah::wah:;)

jones jones;801369 wrote: your a woman ... right?

a beautiful sexy southern woman ... right?



i am Jj ... the chosen ... right?

make that fifteen minutes ...



Jj :-4 :-4


Didnt I tell ya to leave our hope alone Lover Boy.....I am coming over now to sort you out :driving:

Hope6;801378 wrote: well I thank you for the compliment, but you still aren't giving yourself much time besides we haven't even been properly introduced yet.:)Hope this is JJ the tart will shag any woman as long as she breathes..........right sorted:rolleyes::sneaky:

Carolly;801380 wrote: As it happens Delia..........Im an A1 cook and they wanted me to go into cookery when I left school so there:pActually I made some Salmon Rissoles today....you eat them cold...........soooooo we may as well poison a few more

1 large tin of Pink Salmon

I Egg

1 grated Onion

About 2 medium potatoes boiled an mashed with nothing added

Salt an Pepper.

Basically mix it all up then wet yer hands an make into medium balls and pat them down.....I add something called Matzo Meal.....about 2 tablespoons to bind but a little flour may be ok.......I deep fried them today but have also shallow fried them in the past........cool down.....then I put them in the fridge and eat one every time I open the fridge:wah::wah:;)


ILOVE SALMON RISSOLES PETAL

Carolly;801380 wrote: As it happens Delia..........Im an A1 cook and they wanted me to go into cookery when I left school so there:pActually I made some Salmon Rissoles today....you eat them cold...........soooooo we may as well poison a few more

1 large tin of Pink Salmon

I Egg

1 grated Onion

About 2 medium potatoes boiled an mashed with nothing added

Salt an Pepper.

Basically mix it all up then wet yer hands an make into medium balls and pat them down.....I add something called Matzo Meal.....about 2 tablespoons to bind but a little flour may be ok.......I deep fried them today but have also shallow fried them in the past........cool down.....then I put them in the fridge and eat one every time I open the fridge:wah::wah:;)

HI GILL

kayleneaussie;801342 wrote: Petal I will have you know I am a very good cook besides cooking baby food but honestly i would rather have someone to cook for me cause I am too busy:DYe tarting:rolleyes::sneaky:

kayleneaussie;801398 wrote: HI GILL


Why you shouting??????:-3 we aint deaf, well dunno bout mighty mouth and anorak lady, but i aint deaf yet:wah::wah::wah:

Right I'm heading off for tonight, have a good evening everyone.

Ye know what Im eating right now????Home made doner kebabs....mmmmmmm

Carolly;801389 wrote: Hope this is JJ the tart will shag any woman as long as she breathes..........right sorted:rolleyes::sneaky:


now Jj, I don't think I'd like the idea of being just another one of your conquests.

Carolly;801404 wrote: Ye know what Im eating right now????Home made doner kebabs....mmmmmmm

kazalala;801406 wrote:
What you mean yuk:-5its great:)Pitta Bread.....lots of Salad.....Lamb made into a sort of meatloaf an sliced an Chilli Sauce..............bleedin andsome:);)

FROZEN COWS


A farmer goes out to his field one morning only to find all of his Cows

frozen solid.

As far as the eye can see are cows, motionless like statues.

It had been a bitterly cold night, but he'd never thought anything like

this would happen.

The realisation of the situation then dawned on him.

With his entire livestock gone, how would he make ends meet? How

would he feed his wife and kids? How would he pay the mortgage?

He sat with his head in his hands, trying to come to terms with his

impending poverty.

Just then, an elderly woman walked by, "What's the matter?" asked

the old lady.

The farmer gestured toward the frozen cows and explained his

predicament to the woman.

Without hesitation the old woman smiled and began to rub one of the

cows noses. After a few seconds the cow began to twitch and was soon back

to normal and chewing the cud.

One by one, the old woman defrosted the cows until the whole field

was full of healthy animals.

The farmer was delighted and asked the woman what she wanted as a

repayment for her deed.

She declined his offer and walked off across the field.

A passer-by who had witnessed the whole thing approached the farmer.

"You know who that was don't you?" asked the passer-by.

"No" said the farmer "who?"







scroll down



































wait for it



















it's worth it.....trust me

































"That was Thora Hird."



:wah::wah::wah::wah:

Carolly;801409 wrote: What you mean yuk:-5its great:)Pitta Bread.....lots of Salad.....Lamb made into a sort of meatloaf an sliced an Chilli Sauce..............bleedin andsome:);)


Well it might be ok home made,, but not them ones you buy out of shops..:p

kayleneaussie;801388 wrote: Didnt I tell ya to leave our hope alone Lover Boy.....I am coming over now to sort you out :driving:


back off aussie! ya gonna make hope think i just want her for one thing!

i wanna take her to a fine expensive restaurant and woo her!

kazalala;801400 wrote: Why you shouting??????:-3 we aint deaf, well dunno bout mighty mouth and anorak lady, but i aint deaf yet:wah::wah:OI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:-5:-5:sneaky:

G#Gill;801410 wrote: FROZEN COWS


A farmer goes out to his field one morning only to find all of his Cows

frozen solid.

As far as the eye can see are cows, motionless like statues.

It had been a bitterly cold night, but he'd never thought anything like

this would happen.

The realisation of the situation then dawned on him.

With his entire livestock gone, how would he make ends meet? How

would he feed his wife and kids? How would he pay the mortgage?

He sat with his head in his hands, trying to come to terms with his

impending poverty.

Just then, an elderly woman walked by, "What's the matter?" asked

the old lady.

The farmer gestured toward the frozen cows and explained his

predicament to the woman.

Without hesitation the old woman smiled and began to rub one of the

cows noses. After a few seconds the cow began to twitch and was soon back

to normal and chewing the cud.

One by one, the old woman defrosted the cows until the whole field

was full of healthy animals.

The farmer was delighted and asked the woman what she wanted as a

repayment for her deed.

She declined his offer and walked off across the field.

A passer-by who had witnessed the whole thing approached the farmer.

"You know who that was don't you?" asked the passer-by.

"No" said the farmer "who?"







scroll down



































wait for it



















it's worth it.....trust me

































"That was Thora Hird."






:wah::wah::D

jones jones;801412 wrote: back off aussie! ya gonna make hope think i just want her for one thing!

i wanna take her to a fine expensive restaurant and woo her!Oi Gods Gift to women (in his bleedin dreams:rolleyes:) you aint answered my question........its make yer mind up time Ramrod:rolleyes::sneaky:

Carolly;801389 wrote: Hope this is JJ the tart will shag any woman as long as she breathes..........right sorted:rolleyes::sneaky:


no no no ... not true ... not ANY woman ... i do have certain standards you know ...

they gotta be between 16 and 70!

All this talkin of food, I'm just going to knock up something to eat for me and Andy, and of course feed our little pooch. I will be back soon (I hope :wah::wah::rolleyes: :-4)

Carolly;801404 wrote: Ye know what Im eating right now????Home made doner kebabs....mmmmmmm


my god woman! is there NO end to ya talent?

a great cook too!

no ... i just gotta have you juliet! come wot may!

come and get me ... puleeeez!

Jj :-4

kazalala;801411 wrote: Well it might be ok home made,, but not them ones you buy out of shops..:pMaybe notbut mine is healthy and yummy so there:p:p:rolleyes:

Hope6;801405 wrote: now Jj, I don't think I'd like the idea of being just another one of your conquests.


no no sugar pie!

you wouldn't be just one of my conquests ...

you'd be one of MANY!

Jj :-4

G#Gill;801417 wrote: All this talkin of food, I'm just going to knock up something to eat for me and Andy, and of course feed our little pooch. I will be back soon (I hope :wah::wah::rolleyes: :-4)What you goin on about woman.......Chris does all the cooking:rolleyes::sneaky:

jones jones;801416 wrote: no no no ... not true ... not ANY woman ... i do have certain standards you know ...

they gotta be between 16 and 70!AND WEAR GLASSES I WOULD FINK:rolleyes::sneaky:

G#Gill;801417 wrote: All this talkin of food, I'm just going to knock up something to eat for me and Andy, and of course feed our little pooch. I will be back soon (I hope :wah::wah::rolleyes: :-4)


Whats up with Chris like?:-3 im eating pate on ryvita:wah:

jones jones;801418 wrote: my god woman! is there NO end to ya talent?

a great cook too!

no ... i just gotta have you juliet! come wot may!

come and get me ... puleeeez!

Jj :-4Sorry Rambo but I like ruthless men..................not bleedin toothless:rolleyes:

kazalala;801423 wrote: Whats up with Chris like?:-3 im eating pate on ryvita:wah:Oh shes upto somefing Kaz me finks:sneaky:;)

Bet none of ya even missed me:( I have had a shower washed my hair, bathed both babies and dressed them and now they are in bed asleep:) Just got to straighted my hair and pack the babies bags and I am ready to go.

Clever little chick aint I?

Carolly;801415 wrote: Oi Gods Gift to women (in his bleedin dreams:rolleyes:) you aint answered my question........its make yer mind up time Ramrod:rolleyes::sneaky:


why ya askin' such a silly question juliet my darlin'?

you already know the answer!

mwaaaaaah!!!! :-4 :rolleyes:

jones jones;801420 wrote: no no sugar pie!

you wouldn't be just one of my conquests ...

you'd be one of MANY!

Jj :-4


now see, it's that one of many talk! That's not the way to get a lady interested in you.

Carolly;801404 wrote: Ye know what Im eating right now????Home made doner kebabs....mmmmmmm


THAT LOOKS LIKE TAKEAWAY PETAL AND IT LOOKS LIKE CRAPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

kayleneaussie;801433 wrote: THAT LOOKS LIKE TAKEAWAY PETAL AND IT LOOKS LIKE CRAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPIt aint what I made you mad Oz tart:-5:-5:sneaky:

kayleneaussie;801429 wrote: Bet none of ya even missed me:( I have had a shower washed my hair, bathed both babies and dressed them and now they are in bed asleep:) Just got to straighted my hair and pack the babies bags and I am ready to go.

Clever little chick aint I?


i did sweetheart ...

i am beginning to see you in a whole new light here kaylene ...

beautiful young woman bringing your babies so wondefully ... aren't you a bit young to have such small children?

your here when i go to bed ... here when i wake up ...

yes ... i do believe that you would be a great mother for my children!

Jj :-4 :-4

I will have you know Petal I am not a tart I am a very sophisticated young Lady so there :p:p:p

kayleneaussie;801429 wrote: Bet none of ya even missed me:( I have had a shower washed my hair, bathed both babies and dressed them and now they are in bed asleep:) Just got to straighted my hair and pack the babies bags and I am ready to go.

Clever little chick aint I?


oo you been a busy little bee aint ya:D

kayleneaussie;801429 wrote: Bet none of ya even missed me:( I have had a shower washed my hair, bathed both babies and dressed them and now they are in bed asleep:) Just got to straighted my hair and pack the babies bags and I am ready to go.

Clever little chick aint I? :DOh yessss Kay....

Hope6;801431 wrote: now see, it's that one of many talk! That's not the way to get a lady interested in you.


its not? well my southern belle ... pray tell me what is?

ahhhhhhhhhhhh jj you have made a few steps in the right direction. My name is Kaylene and only Chris has called me that and now you. ummmmmmmmmmm:-4:-4

ummmmmmmmmmmm just wondering should I make the beds before I go out or just leave them :yh_rotfl

kayleneaussie;801440 wrote: I will have you know Petal I am not a tart I am a very sophisticated young Lady so there :p:p:pLIVING IN DREAMLAND COMES TO MIND DEARHEART:rolleyes::sneaky::p