ask Hammy anything ..anything at all

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Sat Oct 07, 2006 1:20 am

how far can a hamster run into a forest ?

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Sat Oct 07, 2006 1:59 am

Hi Hammy,

Do you have fun when they put you in that plastic ball you roll around the house in?

Why do we always find shoes on the divider line? Do aliens suck people out of their shoes or do people just get tired of their shoes and chuck them out the window?

:)

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Sat Oct 07, 2006 2:03 am

Instead of crucifying a guy on a cross why not a windmill ? That way you get the pain and the dizziness. :-6

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Sat Oct 07, 2006 3:03 am

Nomad wrote: Instead of crucifying a guy on a cross why not a windmill ? That way you get the pain and the dizziness. :-6

:wah: :wah: :wah:

but if its not windy what then, you could always play loud rap music now that is suffering

Ocnbrz · Post by **Ocnbrz** » Sat Oct 07, 2006 6:10 am

You seem to have a certain fondness for banana's. :-4

Tell us, how did this come about?

"Cosmic Handbag Theory"? :p

Sounds like double speak to me! You must be in sales.

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Sat Oct 07, 2006 8:36 am

Hamster wrote: Jimbo .... I am really glad you asked this question! It's come up many times and it would be really relevant here...

Of course distance run into the forest depends largely on where the hamster starts from and from your perspective. It also depends on what is chasing the hamster-or of course what the hamster is chasing.

A classical example of this is as follows...the hamster runs as far as possible into the forest and manages 50 metres....Then the hamster sees a handbag in the distance and feels compelled to run another 1000 metres..and of course reaches terminal velocity in 2.2 seconds....

I hope this clear?? There will be a test after so I hope you were taking notes!!

ha ha hammy its well known a hamster can only run into a forest to the half way point once he goes past that point he is then running out of the forest

ha ha i've waited all day to say that

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Sat Oct 07, 2006 9:15 pm

if a hamster is dead in the middlle of a 10 foot by 10 foot patio how many times does he need to leap to get off of it ?

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Sun Oct 08, 2006 2:13 am

jimbo wrote: if a hamster is dead in the middlle of a 10 foot by 10 foot patio how many times does he need to leap to get off of it ?

i'm taking my daughter out for the day but being the kind considerate great guy i am i could not leave every ones favoutrite rampent rodent in suspense

alas the answer is he is dead in the middle and dead hamsters cant jump

Ocnbrz · Post by **Ocnbrz** » Sun Oct 08, 2006 6:22 am

Hamster wrote: Thanks for asking about my banana fetish!

It all goes back to the times when I lived as a baby hamster in a forest....I was forced to live on bananas as there was little else to eat....

As I grew into a full grown adult and realised the unbridled joy to found in shopping for handbags this led to a natural evolution of putting bananas in handbags.

I then went on to discover the "Cosmic Handbag Theory" which states the larger the hand bag the less bananas you can get in there at any one time. This is of course the exact inverse of the "Cosmic Boot Theory" (for which I won the Nobel Prize) that states the more bananas you can get in your boots the squelshier they are when you put them on.

Some of my most inspired work came from this period!!

It's true! You are in sales! :p

You've just gone to town ... to shop for a new handbag of course. When you discover that all your favorite shops are closed! Now what do you do?

weber · Post by **weber** » Sun Oct 08, 2006 10:11 am

WOW, ask Hammy anything at all? Why not ask Hammy nothing at all? Hey Hammy, I want to know nothing at all. What is nothing at all? Zilch? Zero? Nil?

weber · Post by **weber** » Sun Oct 08, 2006 10:38 am

Hamster wrote: Um...Weber I was going to say "Nothing at all is the abscense of anything"...but then I thought "To have an abscense surely implies something was their before that?" This would mean that it was not nothing....:-5

Ouch my brain hurts now....you got me there!!

Um...I guess you get the bonus question prize...you can ask me one question and I have to agree truthfully:-3

Nothing is sour grapes

Wot is sour grapes

Sorry about the headache

weber · Post by **weber** » Sun Oct 08, 2006 11:12 am

This'un should do it Hammy:D

weber · Post by **weber** » Sun Oct 08, 2006 12:31 pm

Hamster wrote: Aha...thats better thanks!!!

Ooh I feel all floaty now....Is that normal?? :p

Dunno but you should feel stuffed like a turkey and look a little like the michelin man. Get it down fast cuz I need to remove it for a smaller one that will only cure your big toe.....the one you like:D down fast lil fur....baby

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Sun Oct 08, 2006 12:46 pm

SnoozeControl wrote: Hammy, does your carpeting match your curtains? :sneaky:

I love it Snoozie :guitarist

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Sun Oct 08, 2006 1:09 pm

Hamster wrote: Lol..Over here its "collars and cuffs"

I like that expression, too!

My collars match my cuffs

'course I'm a brunette so that's kinda easy

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Sun Oct 08, 2006 2:18 pm

my collar in no way matches my curtain

weber · Post by **weber** » Sun Oct 08, 2006 2:20 pm

Hamster wrote: Um..ok Weber.. I'll have one of what you've been drinking!! :wah:

That would be water Hammy, I can get high on anything:D so tell me now. Just how do you hold your water?

Uncle Kram · Post by **Uncle Kram** » Sun Oct 08, 2006 2:30 pm

How does a French woman hold her liqour? My mate reckons it's by the ears. Do you think he's right? :-3

weber · Post by **weber** » Sun Oct 08, 2006 2:41 pm

Hamster wrote: Oh she's on a roll now!!

I hold my water in a glass Weber..:wah:

Dam. Much too easy. I knew you were going to say that:D