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jb

get your hand outta there!! :sneaky: :-4

jbbarker1947 wrote: I admit to some of the names applied to me. I need to know what a drongo is? I will never lie to you. I may at times, protect you from the truth. I have been known to put a little distance between fact and fantasy.


I'm not actually quite sure what a drongo is, JB, but the term is relatively grin affectionate. So is calling someone a 'silly bastard' Down Under. In fact most expressions that might be considered insults anywhere else are normally used affectionately in Australia. Frinstance, you don't call an English person a 'pommy bastard' if you don't like them. Grin.

Real insults include:

Clueless loser

Bludger

Um, but I digress.... Git yer clueless loser bludger silly bastard cotton picking two timing sexy Texan hand the heck outta Cher's sensibilities!!!!! Or it's gonna be limericks at twenty paces. And the milkman will back me up on this.

Well wicked slappers, in fact!

AussiePam wrote: limericks at twenty paces


:yh_worry You scare the crap out of me sometimes, Pam.

Open Mind, I love it when men quake and quiver at my feet. :-4 Let me bestow upon you my most special toothy smile!!!:D

AussiePam wrote: Open Mind, I love it when men quake and quiver at my feet. :-4 Let me bestow upon you my most special toothy smile!!!:D


Sorry to disappoint ya, but I find toothy smiles rather endearing. Here, see mine.

But limericks at 20 paces. Now that's different altogether. Aaargh.:yh_nailbi

I think I'm overdue for spewing out a few limericks, OM. And you have inspired me!!! Today will be the day when those little brilliantly crafted, unforgettable, literary masterpiece five-liners will again start to grace these otherwise drab and empty threads.

YES it is my bounden duty to burst into verse.

LOOK OUT FG. PAM IS BACK.

AussiePam wrote: I think I'm overdue for spewing out a few limericks, OM. And you have inspired me!!! Today will be the day when those little brilliantly crafted, unforgettable, literary masterpiece five-liners will again start to grace these otherwise drab and empty threads.



YES it is my bounden duty to burst into verse.



LOOK OUT FG. PAM IS BACK.


Oh, sh1t. What have I done now?!

*Dives for cover in the nearest hedgerow*

Bit sidetracked here. A sudden family party has erupted. But you havent escaped OM. I'm working on it~!!!!

AussiePam wrote: Bit sidetracked here. A sudden family party has erupted. But you havent escaped OM. I'm working on it~!!!!


*OM is trembling so much with fear, the whole hedgerow is shaking violently*

Open Mind is behind the hedgerow

Deliciously trembling. Aglow

I'll tend no more excuses.

My limerical juices

Are inspired and beginning to flow

AussiePam wrote: Open Mind is behind the hedgerow

Deliciously trembling. Aglow

I'll tend no more excuses.

My limerical juices

Are inspired and beginning to flow


Aaargh!! Here they come. I mustn't listen. I mustn't let myself comprehend them or I'll be a goner for sure.:yh_ghost

OpenMind is a goner, for sure!!

I drive off. He just squeals and shouts 'Fore'!!

If I throw him a kiss

Will he count is as bliss

Or flounce out of here, slamming the door

:-4

Attached files

Pam's words have entered my ears.

For sure I'll be reduced to tears.

As I squirm and wriggle

Her words do tickle

And her kiss will last me for years.

:-6

Pinky!! OM's a lady... and we've just enjoyed a big passionate kiss. Hey!!! Does that mean I'm a libyan now??? WOW. Can I still like blokes too??? What will all my Brians say??? Maybe it's a kind of multiskilling.



Even though Open Mind is a girl

He still makes my little toes curl

With a wee wicked winky

And a threesome with Pinky

Me blonde hormones are all in a whirl

AussiePam wrote: Pinky!! OM's a lady... and we've just enjoyed a big passionate kiss. Hey!!! Does that mean I'm a libyan now??? WOW. Can I still like blokes too??? What will all my Brians say??? Maybe it's a kind of multiskilling.







Even though Open Mind is a girl

He still makes my little toes curl

With a wee wicked winky

And a threesome with Pinky

Me blonde hormones are all in a whirl




Am I? Hmmm. Must go and take another look.

I'm sure me danglies were there this morning.:yh_worry



Sorry if I kissed you under false eyelashes, Pam.:p

Originally Posted by AussiePam

You're very hairy fer a girl, OpenMind. I think Pinky may have got it wrong. We won't go into yer dangly bits in this um family forum.. grin... I'm kinda glad really, I mean, about you not being a girl. I didn't think I liked girls - in that way. Grin.



Um false eyelashes.. Mmmmmmm.. Do you sometimes wear high heels too? Nothing wrong with that, of course. Wanna borrow some lacy stuff????

AussiePam wrote: You're very hairy fer a girl, OpenMind. I think Pinky may have got it wrong. We won't go into yer dangly bits in this um family forum.. grin... I'm kinda glad really, I mean, about you not being a girl. I didn't think I liked girls - in that way. Grin.





Um false eyelashes.. Mmmmmmm.. Do you sometimes wear high heels too? Nothing wrong with that, of course. Wanna borrow some lacy stuff????


Hehehe. If you're wearing them.

Can't wear high heels, I keep breaking them.

How is it that girl's look good in men's stuff but men look totally naff in girl's stuff?

My sister was a photographic model in her teens and had a set of false eyelashes. She used to have to practise wearing them. I could never have done it. I remember one day she lost one, and our Mum found it and thought it was a caterpillar.

Have I ever worn a man's clothes? No... not that I recall. Oh there was that skinnydip time when the cop gave me his coat, but that doesn't really count... Has a bloke ever worn my um little frilly lacy things???? Not that I know of, anyway.

Wanna try on a black frothy little bra thingie?

AussiePam wrote: Wanna try on a black frothy little bra thingie?


Frothy?! Does it foam up and clean around the nipples?

I think it would look a bit flat on me (at least, I hope it would, but then I shan't try in case someone catches me out).:wah:

OpenMind wrote: Frothy?! Does it foam up and clean around the nipples?




I think you've just put me off my own underwear!!! Grin.

AussiePam wrote: I think you've just put me off my own underwear!!! Grin.


Oh, now Pam. You've just set me up for the rest of the day. That'll give me something to ponder.:-6

AussiePam wrote: My sister was a photographic model in her teens and had a set of false eyelashes. She used to have to practise wearing them. I could never have done it. I remember one day she lost one, and our Mum found it and thought it was a caterpillar.



Have I ever worn a man's clothes? No... not that I recall. Oh there was that skinnydip time when the cop gave me his coat, but that doesn't really count... Has a bloke ever worn my um little frilly lacy things???? Not that I know of, anyway.



Wanna try on a black frothy little bra thingie?


Don't do it OpenMind. The lace itches.

jbbarker1947 wrote: Don't do it OpenMind. The lace itches.


:yh_rotfl

I hope you didn't find that out from personal experience.

But if you did, let's see the pics.:sneaky:

Pinky wrote: OOPS!!! OM, I do apologise...I had you totally confused with someone else!:-3



Sorreeeeeeeee!!!!


Giss a kiss, Pinky, and I'll forgive ya.

Pinky wrote: Here ya go then!:yh_kiss :yh_kiss Have an extra one as it's your Birthday!


Shucks, thanks, Pinky.

I can go to the shops with 2 red rosy cheeks, now.

Pinky wrote: Sorry mate! Didn't mean to make you look like aunt sally!:-3


;) No worries, Pinky. This is how I like to collect my birthday wishes.

Pinky wrote: I'll have to remember that for mine next year!:D

Good plan!


Beats birthday cards hands down.