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General humor & jokes. Share funny photos and jokes. Must be "R" rated or below.
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Wolverine
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Post by Wolverine »

don't know if this has been done before, so here goes...

A guy walks into BR's bar. Clearly upset, he asks BR for a great big glass of water.

BR reaches over the bar, grabs LC's side arm, and fires it just above the man's head. The bullet rips through FarRider's beer as he's putting it to his lips.

The man, ears ringing, turns around and leaves the bar smiling from ear to ear.

WHY?:-2


Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view

Mind like a steel trap - Rusty and Illegal in 37 states.

lady cop
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Post by lady cop »

first line of inquiry...is Far wearing pants?
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Wolverine
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Post by Wolverine »

lady cop wrote: first line of inquiry...is Far wearing pants?
yes but they are around his ankels

but that has nothing to do with it. just adds to the abiance. or lack of it.:wah:


Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view

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Wolverine
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Post by Wolverine »

flopstock wrote: i know this...:p
Reeeeeeally??:-2


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BabyRider
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Post by BabyRider »

3 questions:

#1. Was Far going to whack the guy upside the head with his beer?

#2. Did I hit what I was aiming for?

#3. Did the guy leave me a tip? :yh_rotfl



I have no idea....lemme think on it for a while. :yh_think
[FONT=Arial Black]I hope you cherish this sweet way of life, and I hope you know that it comes with a price.
~Darrel Worley~
[/FONT]










Bullet's trial was a farce. Can I get an AMEN?????


We won't be punished for our sins, but BY them.




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BabyRider
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Post by BabyRider »

Oops, make that 4 questions:

#4. Does your new sig mean "I love my fu*king job"?
[FONT=Arial Black]I hope you cherish this sweet way of life, and I hope you know that it comes with a price.
~Darrel Worley~
[/FONT]










Bullet's trial was a farce. Can I get an AMEN?????


We won't be punished for our sins, but BY them.




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Wolverine
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Post by Wolverine »

BabyRider wrote: Oops, make that 4 questions:

#4. Does your new sig mean "I love my fu*king job"?
i wondered if anyone would get that.


Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view

Mind like a steel trap - Rusty and Illegal in 37 states.

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BabyRider
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Post by BabyRider »

Wolverine wrote: i wondered if anyone would get that.
Eye ar edjumucatid....
[FONT=Arial Black]I hope you cherish this sweet way of life, and I hope you know that it comes with a price.
~Darrel Worley~
[/FONT]










Bullet's trial was a farce. Can I get an AMEN?????


We won't be punished for our sins, but BY them.




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Wolverine
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Post by Wolverine »

BabyRider wrote: 3 questions:

#1. Was Far going to whack the guy upside the head with his beer?

#2. Did I hit what I was aiming for?

#3. Did the guy leave me a tip? :yh_rotfl



I have no idea....lemme think on it for a while. :yh_think
#1 No. as a founding member of the "Drunken BoyScouts of Iowa" i feel confident that Far would not waste any beer.

#2 Yes

#3 $1

#4 previous post

#5 Far has nothing to do with it. he was sitting with his pants around his ankles minding his own business, enjoying a cool breeze on the "boys"


Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view

Mind like a steel trap - Rusty and Illegal in 37 states.

lady cop
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Post by lady cop »

this is a fallacious and false police report....BR would NEVER be foolish enough to try for my sidearm, she's too smart. my finely-honed instincts and training would have kicked in and she'd be eating pepper spray while being tased then shot full of holes! :wah:
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BabyRider
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Post by BabyRider »

lady cop wrote: this is a fallacious and false police report....BR would NEVER be foolish enough to try for my sidearm, she's too smart. my finely-honed instincts and training would have kicked in and she'd be eating pepper spray while being tased then shot full of holes! :wah:
Uhh...YEAH!

What makes you think I wouldn't have my OWN weapon behind my bar??!

Does it have anything to do with it being LC's sidearm??

Another clue, please, Wolverine? Pretty please?
[FONT=Arial Black]I hope you cherish this sweet way of life, and I hope you know that it comes with a price.
~Darrel Worley~
[/FONT]










Bullet's trial was a farce. Can I get an AMEN?????


We won't be punished for our sins, but BY them.




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Wolverine
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Post by Wolverine »

BabyRider wrote: Uhh...YEAH!

What makes you think I wouldn't have my OWN weapon behind my bar??!

Does it have anything to do with it being LC's sidearm??

Another clue, please, Wolverine? Pretty please?
i thought you only had a bat behind there with you.

LC was in plain clothes. She wouldn't be foolish enough to get sloshed in uniform.

Besides, Bothwell was there and LC was... uhm... well... er... "Distracted"

but again, this is a side point. nothing to do with the issue at hand.


Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view

Mind like a steel trap - Rusty and Illegal in 37 states.

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Wolverine
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Post by Wolverine »

i was hoping you would show up Far.


Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view

Mind like a steel trap - Rusty and Illegal in 37 states.

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nvalleyvee
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Post by nvalleyvee »

Wolverine wrote: don't know if this has been done before, so here goes...

A guy walks into BR's bar. Clearly upset, he asks BR for a great big glass of water.

BR reaches over the bar, grabs LC's side arm, and fires it just above the man's head. The bullet rips through FarRider's beer as he's putting it to his lips.

The man, ears ringing, turns around and leaves the bar smiling from ear to ear.

WHY?:-2


The guy was BTS and was glad BR missed.
The growth of knowledge depends entirely on disagreement..........Karl R. Popper
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Wolverine
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Post by Wolverine »

Far Rider wrote: hey riducules good, it keeps me grounded...
not ridicule. never. just playful "joshing"

not on fire.

Not BTS. but something to that. keep going.


Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view

Mind like a steel trap - Rusty and Illegal in 37 states.

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BabyRider
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Post by BabyRider »

Wolverine wrote:



Not BTS. but something to that. keep going.
I thought I didn't miss???!

I am totally lost...been up for 2 days thinking about this. No sleep, no peace, just this damn riddle running around in my head....

Any ideas yet, people??

Where the hell is Wolverine??!! :yh_wait
[FONT=Arial Black]I hope you cherish this sweet way of life, and I hope you know that it comes with a price.
~Darrel Worley~
[/FONT]










Bullet's trial was a farce. Can I get an AMEN?????


We won't be punished for our sins, but BY them.




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babygirl
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Post by babygirl »

BLEH.............. I hate these things you are gonna have me thinking now :-5
Live life to the max as you only get to do it once!! make your dreams come true :-4





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nvalleyvee
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Post by nvalleyvee »

BabyRider wrote: I thought I didn't miss???!

I am totally lost...been up for 2 days thinking about this. No sleep, no peace, just this damn riddle running around in my head....

Any ideas yet, people??

Where the hell is Wolverine??!! :yh_wait


SO it's like you are going to shoot someone in the FG.., or NOT.....Do I sound 17???? :wah: :wah: :wah:
The growth of knowledge depends entirely on disagreement..........Karl R. Popper
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BTS
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Post by BTS »

BabyRider wrote: I thought I didn't miss???!

I am totally lost...been up for 2 days thinking about this. No sleep, no peace, just this damn riddle running around in my head....

Any ideas yet, people??

Where the hell is Wolverine??!!


Here BR......... calm down now!



Saw this and thought of you. Hope it works.









~ Spirit Mountain ~



In the land of the sky

within the Creator's deep sigh

springs a majestic mountain

like life's own fountain



Spirit Mountain stands proud and tall

The four winds whisper it's call

It stands like a giant sentinel

of ancestors of long ago it tells



From my life's very start

Spirit Mountain called to my heart

As a small spirited child

I ran these mountains free and wild







Each time the four winds touch my face

My spirit revisits this place

I follow a lone winding trail

where ancestor's foot prints and silent tears fell



As I walk these hills

My soul's spirit stills

This land of my grandfather's before me

who walked proud and free



I look down to where the valleys lie

across the night's sky

Flashes of sheet lightening fly by

Striking like white ghosts

While the grumbling thunder plays host.







It strikes in my soul deep ...

What does it seek

is it trying to speak?

And what secrets does it still keep



In the night's still air

within the moonlight's glare

my soul is made aware

of spirit's presence still there







My heart embraces this old hunting ground

Where ancestors arrow heads I found

Spirit Mountain speaks of ancestor's time

It's message I hold in heart and mind



As my spirit walks through the lush green grass

I know my life is fleeting fast

Revisiting youthful dreams of the past

but knowing here my spirit will always last



I can see this place with no eyes

spirit floating across the Creator's skies

where streams and valleys still lies

Here my loved one's spirits never dies







I come to Spirit Mountain in dreams

Riding these trails forever it seems

My spirit always rides here alone

for it is my soul's only home



Spirit Mountain is where I grew strong

It is where my heart still belongs

My spirit is wrapped in it's eternal fold

For it is the pathway to my soul



My life's path has been wide

Spirit Mountain dwells yet deep inside

I hold it strong to my heart's memory

Where my soul and spirit still runs free.

"If America Was A Tree, The Left Would Root For The Termites...Greg Gutfeld."
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BabyRider
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Post by BabyRider »

Damn. That was awesome, BTS. Thanks for posting that.
[FONT=Arial Black]I hope you cherish this sweet way of life, and I hope you know that it comes with a price.
~Darrel Worley~
[/FONT]










Bullet's trial was a farce. Can I get an AMEN?????


We won't be punished for our sins, but BY them.




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buttercup
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Post by buttercup »

lady cop wrote: first line of inquiry...is Far wearing pants?


:yh_rotfl
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Wolverine
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Post by Wolverine »

ok here's a hint...

if you walk into a bar and the bartender(who doesn't know you) points and fires a gun at you, what do you feel??


Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view

Mind like a steel trap - Rusty and Illegal in 37 states.

lady cop
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Post by lady cop »

Wolverine wrote: ok here's a hint...

if you walk into a bar and the bartender(who doesn't know you) points and fires a gun at you, what do you feel??rejected?
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Wolverine
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Post by Wolverine »

:wah: ok hadn't thought of that one LC. nolady cop wrote: rejected?


Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view

Mind like a steel trap - Rusty and Illegal in 37 states.

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BTS
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Post by BTS »

Wolverine wrote: ok here's a hint...

if you walk into a bar and the bartender(who doesn't know you) points and fires a gun at you, what do you feel??


A sudden warmness in my britches?
"If America Was A Tree, The Left Would Root For The Termites...Greg Gutfeld."
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Wolverine
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Post by Wolverine »

YES! and what is it that made you tinkle??


Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view

Mind like a steel trap - Rusty and Illegal in 37 states.

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BTS
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Post by BTS »

Wolverine wrote: YES! and what is it that made you tinkle??


OATMEL?....................





Fear?
"If America Was A Tree, The Left Would Root For The Termites...Greg Gutfeld."
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Wolverine
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Post by Wolverine »

BTS wrote: OATMEL?....................





Fear?
oatmeal... inside joke

yes fear.

now why would "you" be happy that soemone scared the be-jesus out of you?


Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view

Mind like a steel trap - Rusty and Illegal in 37 states.

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Wolverine
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Post by Wolverine »

if you all wanna give up, i'll post why.


Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view

Mind like a steel trap - Rusty and Illegal in 37 states.

lady cop
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Post by lady cop »

Wolverine wrote: if you all wanna give up, i'll post why.then do it!!!
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Accountable
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Post by Accountable »

Wolverine wrote: don't know if this has been done before, so here goes...



A guy walks into BR's bar. Clearly upset, he asks BR for a great big glass of water.

BR reaches over the bar, grabs LC's side arm, and fires it just above the man's head. The bullet rips through FarRider's beer as he's putting it to his lips.

The man, ears ringing, turns around and leaves the bar smiling from ear to ear.



WHY?:-2
He had the hiccups.
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BabyRider
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Post by BabyRider »

The guy was going to ask where the bathroom was and then he didn't need it anymore because he'd peed himself??

If that's not it, I give up....

Wolverine...where have you been??!! Just left us hangin'...cruel, man....cruel.
[FONT=Arial Black]I hope you cherish this sweet way of life, and I hope you know that it comes with a price.
~Darrel Worley~
[/FONT]










Bullet's trial was a farce. Can I get an AMEN?????


We won't be punished for our sins, but BY them.




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BabyRider
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Post by BabyRider »

Accountable wrote: He had the hiccups.
Oh....that's GOT to be it!!
[FONT=Arial Black]I hope you cherish this sweet way of life, and I hope you know that it comes with a price.
~Darrel Worley~
[/FONT]










Bullet's trial was a farce. Can I get an AMEN?????


We won't be punished for our sins, but BY them.




lady cop
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Post by lady cop »

i am going to kick wolverine's arse if he doesn't come up with a story soon.
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Wolverine
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Post by Wolverine »

what "story" do i need to come up with?

Floppy guessed it like 3 or 4 posts into it. but no one was paying attention.

so I let you all go and try to figure it out.

it isn't often that i get to sing to myself, "I know something you don't know"

hehehehehe

it's a brain teaser. to get those synapses firing on all cylinders for the day.

apparenty, for some of you, those synapses fot FRIED.


Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view

Mind like a steel trap - Rusty and Illegal in 37 states.

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BabyRider
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Post by BabyRider »

Wolverine wrote: what "story" do i need to come up with?

Floppy guessed it like 3 or 4 posts into it. but no one was paying attention.

so I let you all go and try to figure it out.

it isn't often that i get to sing to myself, "I know something you don't know"



hehehehehe



it's a brain teaser. to get those synapses firing on all cylinders for the day.

apparenty, for some of you, those synapses fot FRIED.
Oh fer the love of pete....How did I miss Floppy's post??

Very good, Wolverine. Thanks for letting us chase our tails for 4 or 5 days... :yh_rotfl
[FONT=Arial Black]I hope you cherish this sweet way of life, and I hope you know that it comes with a price.
~Darrel Worley~
[/FONT]










Bullet's trial was a farce. Can I get an AMEN?????


We won't be punished for our sins, but BY them.




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Wolverine
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Post by Wolverine »

BabyRider wrote: Oh fer the love of pete....How did I miss Floppy's post??

Very good, Wolverine. Thanks for letting us chase our tails for 4 or 5 days... :yh_rotfl
Oh, no, no, no.

THANKYOU


Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view

Mind like a steel trap - Rusty and Illegal in 37 states.

lady cop
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Post by lady cop »

i WILL get you Wolverine. don't know when, but i will get you....*evil laugh*
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BabyRider
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Post by BabyRider »

Wolverine wrote: Oh, no, no, no.

THANKYOU
Glad we could entertain you! :p :D
[FONT=Arial Black]I hope you cherish this sweet way of life, and I hope you know that it comes with a price.
~Darrel Worley~
[/FONT]










Bullet's trial was a farce. Can I get an AMEN?????


We won't be punished for our sins, but BY them.




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Wolverine
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Post by Wolverine »

lady cop wrote: i WILL get you Wolverine. don't know when, but i will get you....*evil laugh*
"You gonna bark all day little doggy? Or are you gonna bite?"


Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view

Mind like a steel trap - Rusty and Illegal in 37 states.

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Wolverine
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Post by Wolverine »

BabyRider wrote: Glad we could entertain you! :p :D
thanks for going along with it. i appreciate it.


Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view

Mind like a steel trap - Rusty and Illegal in 37 states.

lady cop
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Post by lady cop »

that's ok, you feel safe now, bait the copper....but one day when you're not looking.....HAHA!
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Wolverine
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Post by Wolverine »

lady cop wrote: that's ok, you feel safe now, bait the copper....but one day when you're not looking.....HAHA!
i know... i'll be walking out of Wal-Mart and my knee will explode.


Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view

Mind like a steel trap - Rusty and Illegal in 37 states.

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Wolverine
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Post by Wolverine »

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead went into a bar and ordered their drinks from the bartender.

Brunette: "I'll have a B and C."

Bartender:"What is a B and C?".

Brunette: "Bourbon and Coke."

Redhead: "And, I'll have a G and T."

Bartender: "What's a G and T?"

Redhead: "Gin and tonic."

Blonde: "I'll have a 15."

Bartender: "What's a 15?"

Blonde: "7 and 7"


Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view

Mind like a steel trap - Rusty and Illegal in 37 states.

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