One persons Harassment is anothers big joke

minks · Post by **minks** » Sat Mar 15, 2008 9:51 pm

:-5 no make that triple :-5:-5:-5

I work for an absolute lunatic supervisor.

Upon my arrival he seemed ok I at that time considered him my equal when it came to logistics.

Then slowly things happened, we experienced some absolutely hideious temper tantrums by this man, we heard lies fall from his mouth, we had our heads filled with his hate for a co-worker and finally we came to realize we do in fact know more than him and currently are doing more than him and we know people are questioning what he does.

Well my side of this... he is causing me to question something I have been through before.... harassment.

here are some of the incidents....

1) A supplier came to meet us one day for the firs time ... young and some would consider him handsome, and he is kind of a slease and his zip on his pants was down. I had no idea what to say so just let it be. Later in the day I told my co-worker and our supervisor and they laughed along with me. From that day on our lunatic supervisor has decided that maybe this guy "likes me", "he has a crush on me", that was his way to "impress me" and he calls this guy "lover boy" and pokes fun at me when ever the guy shows up... I DO NOT know why my supervisor even thinks this.

2) My current man got a job with our company and being that we are 2 mature adults we simply have told people we are friends we know eventually things will be found out but we behave with all the professionalisim you can imagine. I did tell my supervisor that I am dating this man. One day the supervisor calls me into his office and begins a little chat about other people questioning my and my guys relationship, he said things like "they are asking if he is going to ask you on a date" and "they think there is something going on between you two" .... HAH I highly doubt anyone at that point was questioning us as it's a whole bunch of redneck men in the company and hardly anyone sees us in the shop at the same time... I am convinced my supervisor is making this up.

3) The man my supervisor despises has been working closer with us girls because of our pending year end etc. One day I sent him an email asking if we could meet about our count and he emailed back that he was not in the office today. My supervisor came by later and asked if we had seen this man today and I said no he emailed me he could not make the meeting as he wasin't in for the day.... my supervisor said in a sleazy way "oh you and *** are pretty tight eh" and he gave me a rather rude grin.

4) last week I was working at my desk and he was in our area, taking pictures of product for a shipment and I turned around and he took my picture. I barked at him "how do you know I am not in the witness protection program" he blew that comment off and told me he was going to send this pic over to our contact in Russia and then began is stupid sleazy talk about that guy and how he might like my picture.

Sorry that was so long but... am I wrong to feel a little harrased by this idiot.

I have spoke to 2 others at our company about this asking for advise, one says take it to higher ups, but my problem is my supervisor is buds with the CEO so i think what I have to say to them would be blown off.

The other person told me to go to our HR gal and see what she suggests. I think I will start there.

Don't get me wrong generally I can take a lot but I have been working under this guy since November and it's not stopping.

No I can not tell him to stop as he would make it a big federal offence, prolly start rumors about me and turn it into some kind of corporate drama.

I do wish to maintain a good reputation.

I can't ignore it much longer as this is the second time in my life as a victim to harassment the first time stupidly I let it go.

And lastly.....I can't help feel the general consenseous could turn out making me look like a trouble maker and things would end up bad only for me...UGH.

Here in Canada Harassment of any kind is not taken lightly... however in an office of 50 men and 7 women am I expected to just suck it up?

Oh and one more thing my supervisors boss is a wet blanket he would do squat about it other than say Oh well he is a good guy and works hard and is old and deserves respect etc.

minks · Post by **minks** » Sat Mar 15, 2008 10:37 pm

fuzzy butt;804873 wrote: Write absolutely everything down, and tape conversations with him any chance you get.

Are others (female ) feeling this way also?

thanks FB I have it documented and as for the other gals, I don't think so, I work in the same area as my friend she sees his antics and he does not talk to her the same way he does to me, 2 others think he is a great guy, and the other 3 I don't talk to much. He is a big phoney and very unprofessional in other things he does as well around there. I don't want to make this a witch hunt but he sure bothers me.

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Sat Mar 15, 2008 11:33 pm

Honey

You know - your gut has answered this already - you know when someone

crossed the line.

Perhaps he's flirting with you in a indirect way - like a A-- H--- ,,it's still wrong.

Didn't you recently get this job Dear?

Oh, man - you have to fix this quick..

Patsy

Imladris · Post by **Imladris** » Sun Mar 16, 2008 5:38 am

Only you can know how far you want to take a complaint, HR seems a good place to start. Just don't let yourself be a victim here, take back control.

Hope that things get better for you soon :-4

mikeinie · Post by **mikeinie** » Sun Mar 16, 2008 6:41 am

Although his behaviour is annoying it does not look at it would be a ‘harassment’ some people are just assholes and unfortunately every work place seems to have it’s share if those.

I would continue documenting issues with him, and be specific, then at some point you will need to have a conversation with him and ask him that you find his behaviour unacceptable.

In reality, trying to hide a relationship in a work environment will open doors to speculation and gossip, unfortunately it is human nature.

minks · Post by **minks** » Sun Mar 16, 2008 7:25 am

mikeinie;805054 wrote: Although his behaviour is annoying it does not look at it would be a ‘harassment’ some people are just assholes and unfortunately every work place seems to have it’s share if those.

I would continue documenting issues with him, and be specific, then at some point you will need to have a conversation with him and ask him that you find his behaviour unacceptable.

In reality, trying to hide a relationship in a work environment will open doors to speculation and gossip, unfortunately it is human nature.

thanks for that "mans" point of view, it's pretty much what I would expect from the man based man run company as well.

Mike just a bit of clarification, the supervisor started a lot of his comments to me long before "My Guy" came on board.

I have worked 80% if my work life in man based jobs after all I live in the oil capital of Canada and I am in the oil and gas business and have been for 20+ years. I have worked with every walk of the business from rig pigs to high end executives and Sheiks. I know how the talk goes and how it works and generally I can take it. What I don't like is being singled out like this.

Yes I have only been with this company for a couple months what irks me is I work in the same area as my best friend and he NEVER talks to her like this, heck he has no troubles talking like this to me in front of her. I have done nothing to encourage this kind of talk.

No maybe it's not what everyone classes as harassment... believe me that is a fine fine line but it certainly has become irksome to me.

Oh and I have it all well documented.

As for the relationship between me and my guy at work believe me it's perfectly on the up and up.

Kathy Ellen · Post by **Kathy Ellen** » Sun Mar 16, 2008 7:30 am

Hi Mel:-4

I definitely feel that this behavior is harassment and should be dealt with properly. No one has the right to hassel you for any reason. In my area, we calls this bullying.

Good luck hun...you're a smart woman and should not have to deal with this everyday. It's unproductive and degrading to you. You go to work to be productive, earn money and hopefully have some fun. You don't need a bully making personal comments to you.

Good luck Mel....hope this nonsense stops...you don't deserve it.:-5

Kathy Ellen · Post by **Kathy Ellen** » Sun Mar 16, 2008 7:33 am

Mike,

I was really surprised that you feel that way

along-for-the-ride · Post by **along-for-the-ride** » Sun Mar 16, 2008 7:33 am

I have worked in an office environment for over 10 years. I am not saying his behavior is acceptable, but people will treat you a certain way if you allow it. There is a line in a professional environement that should not be crossed. The "diva" that I have mentioned in my thread about her has crossed that line many times. She allows male employees to flirt with her, but will turn around and be rude to them if the mood strikes her. She likes to be in control and the center of attention. My opinion of her is that she doesn't like her job, yet she does like the special "percs' that she, and she alone, gets. Other places of employment would not tolerate her behavior in the office.

PS. I work in the HR office of our company.

minks · Post by **minks** » Sun Mar 16, 2008 7:36 am

Kathy Ellen;805152 wrote: Hi Mel:-4

I definitely feel that this behavior is harassment and should be dealt with properly. No one has the right to hassel you for any reason. In my area, we calls this bullying.

Good luck hun...you're a smart woman and should not have to deal with this everyday. It's unproductive and degrading to you. You go to work to be productive, earn money and hopefully have some fun. You don't need a bully making personal comments to you.

Good luck Mel....hope this nonsense stops...you don't deserve it.:-5

Hey KE thanks for that, yep I agree with you 100% I feel I didn't get to 47 years of age along with all my experience to have to face this kind of garbage in the work place. Yes my co-worker/gf looked some stuff up online for me and thought it was leaning towards the side of bullying.

I do like my job, I like to learn from it and I like the fact that I get told often I do a darn fine job. I do try and focus on that daily, I also try and keep out of the drama that goes on around there it runs rampant. I don't want to contribute to it when I have to deal with this man and would appreciate it if he would deal with me in a professional manner. I have got to the point of leaving the area when he starts to talk non work stuff. Rude maybe but I don't care.

minks · Post by **minks** » Sun Mar 16, 2008 7:41 am

along-for-the-ride;805158 wrote: I have worked in an office environment for over 10 years. I am not saying his behavior is acceptable, but people will treat you a certain way if you allow it. There is a line in a professional environement that should not be crossed. The "diva" that I have mentioned in my thread about her has crossed that line many times. She allows male employees to flirt with her, but will turn around and be rude to them if the mood strikes her. She likes to be in control and the center of attention. My opinion of her is that she doesn't like her job, yet she does like the special "percs' that she, and she alone, gets. Other places of employment would not tolerate her behavior in the office.

PS. I work in the HR office of our company.

Bingo, my kindness and respectfilled upbringing has made me a bit of a floormat. I admit I am guilty of letting it happen to me and not stopping him. I was raised to respect my superiors and by the looks of it maybe I should have stopped him as opposed to take it from him because he is my "boss" (of sorts)

Hun I am not surprised or disappointed in Mikes response it's what I fear at work would happen if I were to mention it around there. Men and women differ hugely in their opinions of this kind of thing. I could see it ending in favor of my supervisor because of the men out numbering the women. I honestly don't want to make it a huge deal but would like it to just go away, sadly the supervisor is a high drama kind of person likely would end up making fun of me or turning it into something like I am a wimp and a baby. He is that kind of a **** head.

Kathy Ellen · Post by **Kathy Ellen** » Sun Mar 16, 2008 7:45 am

This kind of harassment has happened to a few of us years ago...and it was accepted because we felt that we had no recourse.

Now that we've "grown up and found our voice" it will never happen again at my job. If anyone bulliesor harasses another they're quickly put in their place and told to knock it off by our union. It doesn't matter who you are....you either stop or action is brought against you.

minks · Post by **minks** » Sun Mar 16, 2008 7:57 am

Kathy Ellen;805177 wrote: This kind of harassment has happened to a few of us years ago...and it was accepted because we felt that we had no recourse.

Now that we've "grown up and found our voice" it will never happen again at my job. If anyone bulliesor harasses another they're quickly put in their place and told to knock it off by our union. It doesn't matter who you are....you either stop or action is brought against you.

Yes something has to give that is for sure.

Here is another incident with this man... Fortunately I was not in.

He came in on a weekend as did my GF and there were a couple others there. They were working on some documentation to bring one of our field guys back across the border with our oil field tools. It was not going well... it is a rather long and involved and detailed process when dealing with US customs for us. (I think though us gals are refining it and mister supervisor just liked to play martyr) soooo anyways as the story goes, mr supervisor got so wound up he was yelling at people on the phone and they kept hanging up so finally my GF had to take over the phone conversations. Mr supervisor was so angry he went out in the back shop on the phone and was kicking a rubber garbage can around the shop as he yelled and screamed. He was totally out of control.

Incident number 2

He took over a shipment for me as I was burried in other things, he dogged it and dogged it and then had to ask me for help I suggested we call our sister company for some clarification he yelled at me and said we aren't calling those A holes. So I left the shipment to him alone knowing full well he could not get it out in time. Our sister company called us on a friday (4 days after they asked us to ship) and said the client is wondering where their shipment is... I had to say I had no idea and told them to talk with my supervisor... (meanwhile I had let the sister company know early in the week he took of this shipment) Soooooo sister company comes down hard on the supervisor he knows he messed up he goes out to the shipping area in a fit or rage and is yelling like a madman while he is slamming oilfield tools around, these are $20,000.00 worth of equipment. He was so angry he grabbed the desk drawer to open it and he yanked the front panel of the drawer right off the drawer and stuff spilled everywhere. He came back into my area stood behind me and yelled... "we are never shipping for "our sister company" again" yes stood right over my shoulder and yelled this.

Come monday there is word we were to add more items to this shipment now that it was already late.... mister big pants puffs up his chest and says "good thing i didn't sent that shipment eh"

You see why this man is on my radar!!!!!!

BTW this is not the only incidents and remember I have only been with this company.... 4 months.

gmc · Post by **gmc** » Mon Mar 17, 2008 1:37 am

How long has he been there? He sounds incompetent, maybe if you just stand clear and don't help him cover his mistakes he'll end up getting fired. The thing is if you do he'll get the credit and his bosses will think he's doing a good job. Just pass calls on to him to deal.

What's the staff turnover like where you work? If he can't keep staff it's sometimes another sign of an incompetent manager.

mikeinie · Post by **mikeinie** » Mon Mar 17, 2008 3:20 am

The guy yelling this... was it the supervisor?? What kind of a Llnatic asylum are you working in?

I can’t say that I agree with you allowing the shipment to be missed. If I understand, it was still your customer, even though he was supposed to manage the shipment in order to provide you assistance. I think that you should have brought the issue to your manager prior to the shipment being missed, and ensured the order went out. It would have made you look good by coming to the rescue and still make the other guy look bad, without impacting your customer. Now, in the eyes of your sister company, you all look incompetent.

Never let internal issues be witnessed by your customers.

minks;805200 wrote: Yes something has to give that is for sure.

Here is another incident with this man... Fortunately I was not in.

He came in on a weekend as did my GF and there were a couple others there. They were working on some documentation to bring one of our field guys back across the border with our oil field tools. It was not going well... it is a rather long and involved and detailed process when dealing with US customs for us. (I think though us gals are refining it and mister supervisor just liked to play martyr) soooo anyways as the story goes, mr supervisor got so wound up he was yelling at people on the phone and they kept hanging up so finally my GF had to take over the phone conversations. Mr supervisor was so angry he went out in the back shop on the phone and was kicking a rubber garbage can around the shop as he yelled and screamed. He was totally out of control.

Incident number 2

He took over a shipment for me as I was burried in other things, he dogged it and dogged it and then had to ask me for help I suggested we call our sister company for some clarification he yelled at me and said we aren't calling those A holes. So I left the shipment to him alone knowing full well he could not get it out in time. Our sister company called us on a friday (4 days after they asked us to ship) and said the client is wondering where their shipment is... I had to say I had no idea and told them to talk with my supervisor... (meanwhile I had let the sister company know early in the week he took of this shipment) Soooooo sister company comes down hard on the supervisor he knows he messed up he goes out to the shipping area in a fit or rage and is yelling like a madman while he is slamming oilfield tools around, these are $20,000.00 worth of equipment. He was so angry he grabbed the desk drawer to open it and he yanked the front panel of the drawer right off the drawer and stuff spilled everywhere. He came back into my area stood behind me and yelled... "we are never shipping for "our sister company" again" yes stood right over my shoulder and yelled this.Come monday there is word we were to add more items to this shipment now that it was already late.... mister big pants puffs up his chest and says "good thing i didn't sent that shipment eh"

You see why this man is on my radar!!!!!!

BTW this is not the only incidents and remember I have only been with this company.... 4 months.

chrisb84uk · Post by **chrisb84uk** » Mon Mar 17, 2008 10:31 am

Hey Minksy haven't heard from you in a while.

I'm really sorry to hear about all of these troubles, and to think that it has only been such a short time since you have been working there too. The only advice I could give is to keep standing strong as you can, and as you plan to do try and get as much detail of this guy's harassment as you can, and then having talked to close friends and other work colleagues decide what you feel is the best next approach.

Anyway I hope things get resolved quickly and that you and Jr Minks are keeping well! :-6

minks · Post by **minks** » Fri Mar 21, 2008 6:30 pm

Hey all, just thought to update you all,

oh yes it is the supervisor that does the lunatic thing at my work Mike. Crazy huh and he has only been there 1 year.

Anyways, nothing has changed except I have come to realize I may understand now why he behaves as he does. He sees me as a threat. I have done some research into things such as taxes and duties, delayed shipments and penalties (cross border shipping between Canada and USA, very complex despite NAFTA) and I am at this point >:-5

I know my job, I know the laws, I know this man is "faking it" at times and I just can't put my reputation on the line much longer.

It's far more complex and again this week I have had dealings with him that are not right when it comes to policy but I have been met with brick wall after brick wall.

One either jumps up and makes a big issue of it, or walks away and finds a place more ethical... I think I choose the first.

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Fri Mar 21, 2008 6:37 pm

He sounds like a big creep. Just keep being firm with him that this is unacceptable behavior, fan yourself with a paper with the current laws protecting yourself from this stuff-put up a poster of it behind your desk, write it on your coffee mug......if he is still dense, leave copies of it on his desk, highlighting pertinent sections.

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Fri Mar 21, 2008 6:40 pm

Classic ******* who's self importance is out of control. If you dont buckle to him he will try and trip you up to get you fired don't give him that kind of power.

minks · Post by **minks** » Fri Mar 21, 2008 6:49 pm

he is what I call Self Important. I do my job to the best of my ability. Last week I went into middle management and asked about the "penalties" and suggested we change customs brokers to ones that specialize in oil and gas legalities. Mid management said good idea, keep your supervisor in the loop, I said oh yes he has already said our current customs broker is not doing well.

Wellllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll middle management talked to my super, and my super stomped on me and accused me of trying to oust our current brokers. I simply asked if he did not tell us this was the time to make changes and he just continued to yell at me.

I quite franklly don't have it in me to battle the "corporation"

Kathy Ellen · Post by **Kathy Ellen** » Fri Mar 21, 2008 7:01 pm

I'm so sorry Mel for all this nonsense that you're going through....all of my best wishes are with you right now. Keeping my fingers crossed for good results.

minks · Post by **minks** » Fri Mar 21, 2008 7:05 pm

Kathy Ellen;812285 wrote: I'm so sorry Mel for all this nonsense that you're going through....all of my best wishes are with you right now. Keeping my fingers crossed for good results.

aw thank you KE the good thing about all this, right now it's an empoyees market out there everybody is crying for good workers, we have a huge workers shortage it's crazy.

I have received word that upper management has heard of my plight but I do not expect much if they ask I will offer my documentation if not then I move on.

Kathy Ellen · Post by **Kathy Ellen** » Fri Mar 21, 2008 7:14 pm

minks;812288 wrote: aw thank you KE the good thing about all this, right now it's an empoyees market out there everybody is crying for good workers, we have a huge workers shortage it's crazy.

I have received word that upper management has heard of my plight but I do not expect much if they ask I will offer my documentation if not then I move on.

Good luck to ya love:-4...you know that you're a strong woman and you'll make you're voice heard.