Online dating Update

Peg · Post by **Peg** » Sun May 22, 2005 7:25 pm

I would explain to him that "touching you more" is something that you are not comfortable with since you two don't know each other that well yet. If he is after one thing, his response should pretty well tell you.

koan · Post by **koan** » Sun May 22, 2005 8:10 pm

My original guess in the other thread was that he is a player and he is playing more than one woman. This just confirms it for me. Good for you for not letting him get what he was after. I think that is all he is after. He probably didn't even care whether he really liked you or not, unfortunately.

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Sun May 22, 2005 11:04 pm

i'm going to go out on a limb here and say i see a pattern. reminds me a bit of swedeace. a certain neediness is showing, and is turning people off, even the chiropractor. how is it one can do "fun activities" but not hold a job? in the first thread i said, perhaps mistakenly, that i thought he was married. even if he isn't, he's a player. meeting females online and getting what he wants. you're not a loser, you just need to hang tight for the right person.

koan · Post by **koan** » Sun May 22, 2005 11:23 pm

I have chronic back problems and feel for you. Sometimes I just want to give up and find someone to fix all my problems. I think we all feel that way sometimes. Working for someone you have a relationship with is a bad idea. If it doesn't work out you not only lose a job but a good chiropractor. I think his discretion here is wise.

You might want to consider retraining for something that won't cause physical problems for you. I can't afford to retrain at the moment but I'm trying to keep my mind open to something appearing from "thin air" as it often does when I feel I am ready for change. Same thing with men. If you spend your time learning to believe in yourself men will believe in you too. Then you have to learn that a man liking you does not mean he is the only one who will. It is merely a sign that you are likable. Loving ourselves is not as easy as it should be.

abbey · Post by **abbey** » Mon May 23, 2005 12:22 am

When he got home he sent me a short e-mail saying that he was home and he really wanted to touch me more then he did.

What does this mean? Is he only after sex or is he turned off by my lack of reception?Sounds like he expected more than a peck on the cheek!

If thats not what you're after then i think you should leave it out & move on to another one.

My chiropractor is looking for someone to help out a few days a week, and I've asked him several times if he would let me volunteer. He treats lots of people and it would be a great opportunity to meet single men, and I would get to help people in pain, which I can certainly relate to.

Plus he is very familiar with my condition (he's treated me for 8 years) and he knows my limits, and if I did have trouble on the job he could treat it. It would be perfect!Perfect for who?

Give the guy a break, why on earth should he take you on to help when there's a chance your back could go while you are "helping" patients?

I would'nt want my practice to be used by someone helping out as a pick-up joint!

That would'nt be very professional of him would it?.

john8pies · Post by **john8pies** » Mon May 23, 2005 6:01 am

Simple advice: don`t do what YOU don`t want to do, regardless of whoever wants you to do something else. Why should you if you don`t feel comfortable with it?

weeder · Post by **weeder** » Mon May 23, 2005 12:53 pm

If your blind date wanted to go slowly... he wouldnt have tried to swallow you in the parking lot after just meeting you. Stop trying to find someone.. Have a life that is so interesting.. that you dont have to "Play hard to get.. you are hard to get. Lonely people attract predators.. they feed on your insecurities, use you up, and leave you to move on to more food. Volunteering to work for free is thinking so little of yourself.. it frightens the employer you ask. If you want to do volunteer work... DO VOLUNTEER WORK!!!!!! If you want a job.. go get a job and get paid. I have seen videos about people who dont have any hands and yet they work in factorys using their feet. It leads me to believe there are positions available for people who... though handicapped are a lot more employable than those poor souls.

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Mon May 23, 2005 1:41 pm

If the only thing he wants is to get laid, then there is little chance you will get a commitment no matter what you do. There is always someone easier out there, your friend is a prime example of that.

I keep hearing "what did I do wrong?" from you and I gotta say....STOP IT!!! :yh_bigsmi

You're so focused on what you should or shouldn't be doing that you have forgotten that you need to focus on being YOU. You have to be comfortable, not make concessions so HE feels comfortable. If you have rules, lay them out. If he doesn't like them, dump HIM. If he can't even respect your wishes enough to keep it in his pants for a while until he gets to know you, he ain't worth knowing. Quit wasting your time. Be choosy. Picky, even. Women nowadays are far too willing to settle just to keep themselves from being alone. So what's wrong with being alone? I happen to enjoy my own company.

Never ever settle. Never stay somewhere you are unhappy, and always look out for yourself first. If you don't, who will? Quit trying to figure out how to attract and keep a guy. Let them figure out how to attract and keep you!

next12win · Post by **next12win** » Mon May 23, 2005 2:22 pm

"See ya" isn't the kiss of death for me. If I never wanna see a girl ever again, I'll say "take care". If you hear that, fogettabotit... I won't be calling, writing, or text messaging ya anytime in the near or distant future.

See ya for me is a good sign. See ya soon is even better.