My son is going to Iraq again.

Raven · Post by **Raven** » Thu Jan 25, 2007 4:01 am

I am so frightened. He has already been once. I dont remember reacting this badly last time, but I am so frightened. I have been crying for the last three days. I just couldnt bear it. I just couldnt bear being the mother of one of those flag draped boxes! I just dont know if I could survive that. Why do countries send sons and daughters they didnt give birth to, have no emotional attachment to, to fight a war, and possibly die in, which has no purpose to national defense?

And no, we werent at war with anybody when my sons joined the military.

I know I join the ranks of millions of mothers, wives, fathers and husbands who know what I am feeling. I suppose it's better than him being sent to afghanistan, but still. I dont understand why we are in Iraq to begin with. I never did. I think it's wrong to send MY son to fight a war for personal vendetta. At least I understand the reason behind afghanistan. But a sh*t hole place like Iraq? What are we fighting for over there? I couldnt bear losing a son over there. I just couldnt bear it! :-1

SuzyB · Post by **SuzyB** » Thu Jan 25, 2007 4:05 am

Hi Raven, I'm so sorry that he is going again, I can't begin to imagine what you are going through

You and your family are in my thoughts :-4

Raven · Post by **Raven** » Thu Jan 25, 2007 4:08 am

It's agony. He is a gunner on a tank. And after the stories he told of his first time........

Raven · Post by **Raven** » Thu Jan 25, 2007 4:13 am

He goes in May. My daughter in law goes in July. This is just breaking my heart!

Bez · Post by **Bez** » Thu Jan 25, 2007 4:23 am

Raven;529571 wrote: He goes in May. My daughter in law goes in July. This is just breaking my heart!

Hey Sweetie....big :yh_hugs .

My niece is in Afghanistan....volunteered and left her 2 boys with her husband....also in the US forces.

I suspect this is worse for you at the moment because of the tales he told about the first time he was there and how it affected him.

All wars are stupid and cruel, there's no getting away from it. I wish I could put my arms round you and hug the hurt away, but I can only tell you that I'm hoping everything goes OK for your family.

If you can get Skype we can talk for free....any time you need to.

pantsonfire321@aol.com · Thu Jan 25, 2007 4:26 am

Hey Raven be strong . All the best .

rkdian · Post by **rkdian** » Thu Jan 25, 2007 4:29 am

Raven;529558 wrote: I am so frightened. He has already been once. I dont remember reacting this badly last time, but I am so frightened. I have been crying for the last three days. I just couldnt bear it. I just couldnt bear being the mother of one of those flag draped boxes! I just dont know if I could survive that. Why do countries send sons and daughters they didnt give birth to, have no emotional attachment to, to fight a war, and possibly die in, which has no purpose to national defense?

And no, we werent at war with anybody when my sons joined the military.

I know I join the ranks of millions of mothers, wives, fathers and husbands who know what I am feeling. I suppose it's better than him being sent to afghanistan, but still. I dont understand why we are in Iraq to begin with. I never did. I think it's wrong to send MY son to fight a war for personal vendetta. At least I understand the reason behind afghanistan. But a sh*t hole place like Iraq? What are we fighting for over there? I couldnt bear losing a son over there. I just couldnt bear it! :-1

I am a Marine Mom, Raven. My son has not done his first tour yet, but I know that it is coming. I fully understand where you are coming from! My heart goes out to you! You have to think positive! Don't think of flag draped caskets. Think of a homecoming of honor and dignity. Hold onto the pride you felt at his graduation from Basic. When you need to vent, do it here. Your fear is not unfounded, but don't let him see it. Fear is a soldier's worst enemy! Thanks to your family for being one of us who sacrifice so much in the name of service. He will come home safely! Please, please believe this for your own sake.

:yh_hugs :yh_pray

Raven · Post by **Raven** » Thu Jan 25, 2007 4:33 am

Thanks you guys. I really will need all the hugs I can get. I just dont know why I am so weepy this time! My whole insides are so against this! Who ever knew being a mother would mean a lifetime of worry and pain?

Rapunzel · Post by **Rapunzel** » Thu Jan 25, 2007 4:34 am

Oh Raven sweetheart, my heart goes out to you.

Be brave for them. Send them your love and blessings, tell them how very much you love them and keep them in your prayers.

Then write to Tony Blair and George Bush and tell them how much you hate this and how they will have lost your vote and your families votes if they don't get out of the Middle East. We all know they're only there for their oil-based greed. Both parties are coming up for re-election in the relatively near future and so will want to keep their voters sweet. If enough people write to them they'll have to pay attention. The incoming party will need to make election promises to win our votes. Its up to us to ensure they keep them.

Take comfort in knowing that your son KNOWS how much you love him and also that he's doing a job he loves. Some people waste years in jobs they loathe which is such a waste and so miserable for them. Sometimes they feel trapped because they need the money and have no other choice. Your son is good, brave and strong. He sounds like a wonderful person. Be glad you have such a wonderful son, he's a reflection of you.

Although it's little comfort now but think of all the ones who do come home - thousands of them! They dont get mentioned in despatches because they're safe and well. Hugs to you and Voodoo. I'll keep you and all your family in my thoughts and prayers. :yh_hugs :yh_hugs

chrisb84uk · Post by **chrisb84uk** » Thu Jan 25, 2007 4:38 am

Oh I'm really sorry to hear about this Raven, I know how much your family means to you, so hearing this must have been terrible. All you can do is try to stay strong and positive and show your support to your son, because I would assume that if he sees or hears how upset you are, then he will worry and that won't do either of you any good.

Best wishes and thoughts to you all!! :-4 :yh_pray

jennyswan · Post by **jennyswan** » Thu Jan 25, 2007 4:53 am

Raven we remain very untouched from that war here in Ireland but I think if must be most upsetting to be worried about someone you love. I will say a prayer for your family. :-4

Raven · Post by **Raven** » Thu Jan 25, 2007 5:06 am

rkdian;529589 wrote: I am a Marine Mom, Raven. My son has not done his first tour yet, but I know that it is coming. I fully understand where you are coming from! My heart goes out to you! You have to think positive! Don't think of flag draped caskets. Think of a homecoming of honor and dignity. Hold onto the pride you felt at his graduation from Basic. When you need to vent, do it here. Your fear is not unfounded, but don't let him see it. Fear is a soldier's worst enemy! Thanks to your family for being one of us who sacrifice so much in the name of service. He will come home safely! Please, please believe this for your own sake.

:yh_hugs :yh_pray
I dont think I felt this bad the first time. Both of my sons were there when it first started. They both came back. My youngest was a marine based out of camp lejeune. My oldest, is a gunnery sargeant with the big red one. Even though he is protected by an abrams tank, I am still very apprehensive about this one. He is going to be home on leave in march, before he has to leave for kuwait. I gotta go home to see him before he goes. But you are right. I cant let him see how terribly frightened I am. I will just share that with you guys.

Raven · Post by **Raven** » Thu Jan 25, 2007 5:07 am

chrisb84uk;529600 wrote: Oh I'm really sorry to hear about this Raven, I know how much your family means to you, so hearing this must have been terrible. All you can do is try to stay strong and positive and show your support to your son, because I would assume that if he sees or hears how upset you are, then he will worry and that won't do either of you any good.

Best wishes and thoughts to you all!! :-4 :yh_pray
You are absolutely right, honey. Thank you.

:-4

koan · Post by **koan** » Thu Jan 25, 2007 5:20 am

If you will be seeing them both before they leave, you should take a whole bunch of pictures then use them to draw/paint a picture of you all together. Then tell them that they have to make it back to see the best art you've ever done. That's what I would do.

Then believe.

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Thu Jan 25, 2007 5:33 am

God bless your family raven, I will be thinking of ye, it must be very, very hard for you, your son, and the rest of your family, and everyone here can understand that 110 percent. :yh_brokeh

OpenMind · Post by **OpenMind** » Thu Jan 25, 2007 6:11 am

Raven, my heart goes out to you. My thoughts and prayers will go out to your son every day and I will always keep in mind the day he comes back home unharmed.

We're always here for you when you need a shoulder and some support.

God bless you.:-4 :-4

rkdian · Post by **rkdian** » Thu Jan 25, 2007 6:34 am

Raven;529627 wrote: I dont think I felt this bad the first time. Both of my sons were there when it first started. They both came back. My youngest was a marine based out of camp lejeune. My oldest, is a gunnery sargeant with the big red one. Even though he is protected by an abrams tank, I am still very apprehensive about this one. He is going to be home on leave in march, before he has to leave for kuwait. I gotta go home to see him before he goes. But you are right. I cant let him see how terribly frightened I am. I will just share that with you guys.

My son joined after everything had already hit the fan. I uttered these words only once before (to my hubby)...My gut feeling is that this will be how my son's life ends. I know that he will be considered a hero at that time by the entire nation, but he is a hero to me without dying. I have already dreamed twice about that dreaded black car with the emblem on its side pulling into my drive and he is still state side.

I will be praying for all of you! Keep the faith, sweetie. We are all here for you, and waiting for the good news that everyone is home safe and sound.

Peg · Post by **Peg** » Thu Jan 25, 2007 6:52 am

My heart is absolutely breaking for you Raven. My son just having to register for the draft upset me enough. Try to have faith and know we are all there for you.

chocoholic · Post by **chocoholic** » Thu Jan 25, 2007 7:00 am

Hugs for you Raven, although I don't have children I do have a favourite nephew currently out in Afghanistan so I understand a little of how worried you must be.

Can only reiterate what has already been said, put on a brave face for your son so that he doesn't worry about how you are coping and then remember you can always come on here and discuss your concerns and worries with us.

I shall be thinking and praying for you all.:-6 :-4

Raven · Post by **Raven** » Thu Jan 25, 2007 7:01 am

I never believed in this war. And not just because my two sons were fighting in it. It's funny, the things that go through your mind when you are faced with something like this. I was 16 when I had Matthew. I fought so hard so he would just see the light of day. Back in 1979 they didnt have the stuff to save preemie babies that they do today. I went into early labour with him at 6 months along. They stopped it with an alcohol drip. I was sooooooooo sick! And I had to stay on my back for 2 weeks. But it worked. He stayed put. And he was only 6lbs. and 7oz. when he was born. He was my little buddy. Back in those days it was okay to lay your babies on their tummies. He would fold his chubby legs under him until his butt was in the air. It was sooooooo cute. I would stand for hours by his bed watching him sleep, then when I couldnt resist temptation anymore, i would pick him up and just hold him on my chest while he slept.

He is still my buddy. He is 6ft tall now. And I am still as much in love with him as the day he was born. Even though I had him caesarean section, I was awake when he was born. That was a weird sensation, let me tell you! But he made squeaky noises as they pancaked the fluid from his lungs. He was put in an incubator for 24 hours. But I still remember my first look at him, like it was yesterday. He was a really good kid, with a really high pitched voice, until puberty. He played high school football, wrestled, and ran cross country. He has the kind of legs that can run forever. He has the kind of smile that lights up a room. He has grown up to be a good husband, and great daddy to one of my grandaughters. And he is still my buddy. I named him Matthew James. Matthew, just because I liked the name, and James after my dad and grandpa. And for those of you who pray, please ask God to watch over him while I cant. Maybe together we can bring him back one more time. And not in a box with a flag over it.

Raven · Post by **Raven** » Thu Jan 25, 2007 7:09 am

I am so thankful I am not alone this time. I cant do it again without you guys. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Raven xxx

rkdian · Post by **rkdian** » Thu Jan 25, 2007 7:20 am

Raven;529888 wrote: I am so thankful I am not alone this time. I cant do it again without you guys. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Raven xxx

We are NEVER alone, Raven. If Matthew fought that hard as a tiny baby to survive, he will overcome now also. You don't even have to ask for the prayers, they started going up as soon as I read the subject line. I am sure I am not the only one either.

Raven · Post by **Raven** » Thu Jan 25, 2007 7:31 am

koan;529654 wrote: If you will be seeing them both before they leave, you should take a whole bunch of pictures then use them to draw/paint a picture of you all together. Then tell them that they have to make it back to see the best art you've ever done. That's what I would do.

Then believe.
Funny you should mention that Koan, but that is exactly what I did the last time they went. *sigh* It's becoming a ritual it seems.

I have to believe. I cant bear the thought of the alternative.

Matthew is on the left.

guppy · Post by **guppy** » Thu Jan 25, 2007 8:59 am

Raven, my heart goes out to you...i just read this thread..my prayers are going up everynight along with all the others.....:-4

Sweet Tooth · Post by **Sweet Tooth** » Thu Jan 25, 2007 9:03 am

Hey Raven, I am a Marine Wife and have been for 3 years. My husband has gone over to Iraq twice, once a month after our wedding and then 5 weeks after our first baby was born. He actually just got home in Oct. It doesn't get easier each time! The only thing that kept me going was the fact that that is what my husband signed up to do. My husband felt that he was called to join, therfore, I am going to be his biggest fan and most loving supporter. I can't do anything else! I can't stop him from going, and if I could somehow, then I would be taking away everything he trained for and the reason he signed up! I know its hard to swallow, its even harder for me now that I have a child, because I would have a VERY hard time with my kids joining, but all you can do is be his backbone! And thats all he really wants! He wants people to be proud of him and his decisions. He wants to feel like hes making a difference! I know its hard, and I'm sorry, but be his biggest fan! :-4

p.s. what branch is he in?

DesignerGal · Post by **DesignerGal** » Thu Jan 25, 2007 9:14 am

Sweet Tooth;530046 wrote: Hey Raven, I am a Marine Wife and have been for 3 years. My husband has gone over to Iraq twice, once a month after our wedding and then 5 weeks after our first baby was born. He actually just got home in Oct. It doesn't get easier each time! The only thing that kept me going was the fact that that is what my husband signed up to do. My husband felt that he was called to join, therfore, I am going to be his biggest fan and most loving supporter. I can't do anything else! I can't stop him from going, and if I could somehow, then I would be taking away everything he trained for and the reason he signed up! I know its hard to swallow, its even harder for me now that I have a child, because I would have a VERY hard time with my kids joining, but all you can do is be his backbone! And thats all he really wants! He wants people to be proud of him and his decisions. He wants to feel like hes making a difference! I know its hard, and I'm sorry, but be his biggest fan! :-4

p.s. what branch is he in?

That was sweet and heartfelt.

sunny104 · Post by **sunny104** » Thu Jan 25, 2007 9:51 am

my thoughts and prayers are with you all. :yh_hugs

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Thu Jan 25, 2007 10:15 am

.....

Attached files

rkdian · Post by **rkdian** » Thu Jan 25, 2007 10:42 am

BabyRider;530113 wrote: .....

VERY powerful stuff! Makes me reconsider how my baby boy and his comrades must feel. Thanks, BR!

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Thu Jan 25, 2007 10:52 am

God watches them all. The ones who go back a second time....He walks next to.

abbey · Post by **abbey** » Thu Jan 25, 2007 10:58 am

:yh_hugs :yh_flower RAVEN:yh_flower:yh_hugs

Sheryl · Post by **Sheryl** » Thu Jan 25, 2007 11:05 am

My thoughts and prayers will be with you and your son Raven. :-4 :-4 :-4

minks · Post by **minks** » Thu Jan 25, 2007 6:23 pm

BEAMS HUNNY HUGE GIANT LARGER THAN LIFE BEAMS :-6

LilacDragon · Post by **LilacDragon** » Thu Jan 25, 2007 6:57 pm

Oh, Raven. I can certainly understand how you feel.

I just found out that my husband is due to ship out to Afganistan sometime early next year. He has already done a tour in Iraq. My brother in law (DH's twin) is going to Iraq for the second time in a few months. My best friend is currently stationed in Bagdad.

Both my husband and his brother joined the military after 9/11. One is Infantry and the other went in as a Tanker. They both joined for the same reason - to take the fight to the terrorists and do everything that they could to keep them from bringing more death and destruction to our soil.

I don't believe in this war either. And I think that someone (I won't mention any names) should be prosecuted for using lies and false information to get us into a war that has cost us thousands of lives and destroyed so many American families.

Having said that - I also believe that if we destroy a countries infrastructure and make such as mess like we have in Iraq, then we have a moral obligation to see that through. If we pull all of our troops home, then the extremists win and bring the fight here to get revenge for the mess we made.

I will hold your son in my prayers.

Lulu2 · Post by **Lulu2** » Thu Jan 25, 2007 11:41 pm

Raven...forget all the politics and all the "moral imperatives!" It's your son and you're petrified, of course!

((((ENORMOUS HUGS))))) for you and your entire family!

LottomagicZ4941 · Post by **LottomagicZ4941** » Mon Jan 29, 2007 1:38 pm

Not sure I would want my son joining the military. Almost joined it once myself so I couldn't be to upset at him. Guess it would motivate me to do some serious praying for his wellfare er well fare. Having a hard time lately with spelling and grammer. Worse then usuall.

LottoMagicZ4941

PS which MLM would Ted Nugent be most likely to join?

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Mon Jan 29, 2007 2:05 pm

Raven,

I am here for you as well, from a mother of three boys with my arms open as wide as they get for you darlin'!!:-6

Prayers going up to our Father in Heaven. Protection for our "buddies"...

I read about Matthew and brought tears to my eyes... I understand 100%...

I have raised my boys by myself practically and I am accused of being "over-protective"...mostly by them...(which I'm proud of!!)

Please keep us informed and know that you have a support group here!:)

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Mon Jan 29, 2007 2:26 pm

Raven my friend :-6

You know that ALL OF US here in the Garden will be sending lots of BEAMS directly to your son.

And please lean on us when you need to; this is probably one of the most difficult things a parent can go through.

We will always be here for you :-6

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Mon Jan 29, 2007 2:30 pm

Lots of good thoughts for your son, dear Raven. You are reacting as a mother would, and we all understand. I would be worried too if it was one of my sons.

*hugs*

mominiowa · Post by **mominiowa** » Mon Jan 29, 2007 2:32 pm

I will be thinking of you...Be strong and hold your head up high..I will be praying for you my friend...I wish I could do more--My babysitters(was in Iraq) mother got involved in a group--it's just not for wives anymore..Moms do it too..I can not begin to know what you are feeling...just know we are here to listen...and pray---and hug---and maybe go to the pub and drink?.....Thinking of you!:-4

weeder · Post by **weeder** » Mon Jan 29, 2007 5:27 pm

Mothers with sons who go to war, are in a catagory very different than others. I know you have to have tremendous strength to endure the worry. I cant imagine doing it. Despite the fact that many of us do not support this decision to be at war, you must also be very proud to have a son who is brave. My best wishes to you that you may endure, and parayers and blessings that your son will come home safe.