How to Keep a Healthy Level of Insanity

Marie5656 · Post by **Marie5656** » Tue Jan 02, 2007 6:05 pm

How to Keep a Healthy Level of Insanity

At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in".

Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors".

Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."

Dont use any punctuation marks

As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".

Sing along at the opera.

Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.

Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard Rock.

When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won!", "I won!" "3rd time this week!!!!!"

When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "run for your lives, they're loose!!"

Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

LilacDragon · Post by **LilacDragon** » Tue Jan 02, 2007 6:07 pm

Oh, Marie!!

Please tell me I can cross-post this on my doggy forum!

Marie5656 · Post by **Marie5656** » Tue Jan 02, 2007 6:11 pm

Go ahead, LD

LilacDragon · Post by **LilacDragon** » Tue Jan 02, 2007 6:13 pm

Thank You!!!

guppy · Post by **guppy** » Tue Jan 02, 2007 6:15 pm

omg!!! i am going to have soooo much fun with the blow dryer.....eh eh ehe eh.......

LilacDragon · Post by **LilacDragon** » Tue Jan 02, 2007 6:21 pm

In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors".

I like this one!

If I worked in an office - I would love the coffee one.

Fibonacci · Post by **Fibonacci** » Tue Jan 02, 2007 8:35 pm

:wah:

I'm going to try some of these!!

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Wed Jan 03, 2007 11:10 am

Thanks Marie!! I copied and pasted and sent to my cousin...I can picture her doing the jungle theme at her desk!!

They were all funny though...could see my kids faces telling them that I have to let one of them go!! :wah:

Imladris · Post by **Imladris** » Wed Jan 03, 2007 11:49 am

I just wish i didn't work on my own.

Mind you, i try to have sensible conversations at work but it just doesn't happen - sometimes I think I should just stop talking to me.

Marie5656 · Post by **Marie5656** » Thu Jan 04, 2007 10:43 am

Here is one, and it can REALLY be attributed to George Carlin..it was on an album of his:

Go to a fast food restaurant drive through, place an order. When you get to the window, the server will say $3.52 and hand you your food.

Next..go to another branch of the same restaurant..go through drive through..place exact same order..when you get to the window, put on your best happy face, and say $3.52..and hand the server the bag...