I made a huge mistake

zinkyusa · Post by **zinkyusa** » Sun Nov 12, 2006 10:45 am

Well many of you know me pretty well by now. I have been around here since august and have become close to some of you. I am a married man (twelve years) with two wonderful sons. I have been having some issues with my marriage although I do love my wife. I'm not going to publically go into those issues except to say they have created a void in my life. A few weeks ago after I met one of the female members of FG to have an affair. This was after several weeks of chatting on line, and talking on the phone. It did not work out very well at all, in fact it was a total disaster. I did want to continue it and the person is very hurt and is now smearing me on the forum. I won't go into the details of what should have remained private except to say I did not lie to this lady, I was never dishonest at any time, and I certainly did not profess being in love with someone I had never even met in person. I am in no way a predator or a player. I am stupid and vulnerable and I made a gigantic mistake which I regret but cannot take back. I am thoroughly embarassed and guilty and deserve my feelings, however I did not victimize anyone. This person knew what she was doing as well and now is lashing out in her pain. I may leave FG due to my self inflicted humiliation, in any case for those of you who will no longer communicate with me you have now heard my side of the story.

Mistakes do not make a person totally bad..

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Sun Nov 12, 2006 10:59 am

i don't know you at all, but i hope you will stay.

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Sun Nov 12, 2006 11:03 am

:-1 ..........

Always been a good guy here!

cars · Post by **cars** » Sun Nov 12, 2006 11:04 am

Everybody make mistakes Zink, why should you be any different?

(Ofcourse, I never make mistakes:p, just miscalculations)

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Sun Nov 12, 2006 11:13 am

Hi Zinkmeister

I personally have never had any issues with you.

As far as I am concerned, what happened between the two of you should stay between the two of you.

I've enjoyed your company in the Garden and do hope you choose to stay :-6

Sheryl · Post by **Sheryl** » Sun Nov 12, 2006 11:14 am

cherandbuster;456738 wrote: Hi Zinkmeister

I personally have never had any issues with you.

As far as I am concerned, what happened between the two of you should stay between the two of you.

I've enjoyed your company in the Garden and do hope you choose to stay :-6

Cher said it best!

Peg · Post by **Peg** » Sun Nov 12, 2006 11:27 am

Who did what to who or with who is none of my business and in no way affects how I feel about you as a member. You're an asset to the garden. I hope you stay.

buttercup · Post by **buttercup** » Sun Nov 12, 2006 11:35 am

ive never seen anyone say anything bad about you here or smear you in any way, where are the posts? did you really have to say you had an online thing with someone from THIS forum? & just incase anyone thinks me & zinky had an affair & i started the forum predators thread because of it, no no no, i dont even know him :wah:

woppy71 · Post by **woppy71** » Sun Nov 12, 2006 11:38 am

Zinky, you have a fantastic sense of humour, and are, in my eyes, a true gentleman who speaks his mind with intelligent thought and you are allways ready with a kind word for others. I really wish I had more friends like you. Please stay.

koan · Post by **koan** » Sun Nov 12, 2006 11:40 am

cars;456730 wrote:

(Ofcourse, I never make mistakes:p, just miscalculations)

Well said. I don't believe mistakes are things that shouldn't have been tried. Just inconvenient results.

weber · Post by **weber** » Sun Nov 12, 2006 11:49 am

Hey Zinky

If everyone who made mistakes left here, there would be nobody left. The old saying that time heals all wounds is true so stick around and let it heal. This place is too good to leave because of a mistake. You are a good person:-6 :-4

valerie · Post by **valerie** » Sun Nov 12, 2006 11:50 am

You're staying and that's final.

The Great and Powerful VAL has spoken!!

(Pretty please?)

;)

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Sun Nov 12, 2006 11:53 am

If you told me that you haven't made any mistakes in your life

I'd tell you that you were lying :-6

Adam Zapple · Post by **Adam Zapple** » Sun Nov 12, 2006 12:07 pm

Well, zink I'm not at all familiar with your situation and don't want to be as it is none of my business. However, I do enjoy your posts and respect your views. Hope you stick around.

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Sun Nov 12, 2006 12:12 pm

Let's not forget another member was hurt here, before we all go rallying.

pantsonfire321@aol.com · Sun Nov 12, 2006 12:22 pm

Zinky :yh_hugs

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Sun Nov 12, 2006 12:22 pm

RedGlitter;456804 wrote: Let's not forget another member was hurt here, before we all go rallying.

Hi Red

I don't think the members are rallying

It's more that whatever happened, happened between the two of them.

As far as I know

Nobody else was between the sheets with them :-6

buttercup · Post by **buttercup** » Sun Nov 12, 2006 12:35 pm

cherandbuster;456824 wrote:

It's more that whatever happened, happened between the two of them.

As far as I know

Nobody else was between the sheets with them :-6

I dont really want to hear anymore about this, i see snoozes point now when she said it upset her in another thread, i dont really need to know either of these people's business, cant it be sorted in p.m's

http://www.forumgarden.com/forums/showt ... hp?t=21256

buttercup · Post by **buttercup** » Sun Nov 12, 2006 12:48 pm

hi floppy, long time no see, love your avatar :wah:

CARLA · Post by **CARLA** » Sun Nov 12, 2006 12:49 pm

Zinkusa you live and learn, we all make mistakes the lesson is to learn from them.

Whatever happened is between you and the other person none of our business period. Frankly I have learned to much at this point. Move on from this it's just simple.

koan · Post by **koan** » Sun Nov 12, 2006 12:54 pm

Clancy;456797 wrote:

I'm watching Indiana Jones , and they're about to open the Arc

.....beams of light and swirly noise is swooshing out of it

"Just shut your eyes Miriam don't look at it"....."whatever happens, don't look at it":-3

:yh_rotfl

You're a maniac.

guppy · Post by **guppy** » Sun Nov 12, 2006 12:58 pm

it is interesting that you do not apologize to the person you hurt zinky. your post is all about you. publically anouncing that the person was a disaster is very low in deed. but at least you are staying true to form.

Rapunzel · Post by **Rapunzel** » Sun Nov 12, 2006 1:03 pm

So to discover the other party we need to find out who's using freshly-squeezed bat-juice liquid in their potions?

Its Pinky isn't it? She's a witch, isn't she? I'll bet she's been flying across on her broomstick to collect the freshly-squeezed bat-juice liquid that she needs for her potions.

Bad Pinky, leave Zinky alone you naughty girl! You should know better than to play with someone who's bats!

Kidding aside Zinky, I hope you'll stay as you're a really nice chap whose fun to have around. You always make me chuckle. I really hope you don't leave.

I haven't noticed anyone commenting about you. Maybe you should take this as a wake up call to really work on making things up with your wife. Just a thought.

koan · Post by **koan** » Sun Nov 12, 2006 1:06 pm

Um, which "I" statement is the problem here?

"I am stupid and vulnerable and I made a gigantic mistake" or perhaps "I am thoroughly embarassed and guilty and deserve my feelings"

All the counselors say to speak in "I" statements to avoid "you" statements. I think the wording of that was perfect. The only projection was to say that he was being accused of being dishonest. If he had not used "I" statements, it would have likely been the type of post you are implying. Also he did not say the person was a disaster he said "it" was a disaster, meaning the relationship not the person.

buttercup · Post by **buttercup** » Sun Nov 12, 2006 1:09 pm

Rapunzel;456872 wrote:

I haven't noticed anyone commenting about you. Maybe you should take this as a wake up call to really work on making things up with your wife. Just a thought.

Ditto - or leave her before embarking on other relationships, i'd be destroyed if this happened to me

Rapunzel · Post by **Rapunzel** » Sun Nov 12, 2006 1:12 pm

Pinky;456877 wrote: HEEY!!! It's not me!!!!:eek:

How'd you think I'd manage to meet up with anyone from the US?

Broomstick?

Lol! Kidding hunni! Although we've just passed Halloween so ya never know...hehehe

Kidding!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

guppy · Post by **guppy** » Sun Nov 12, 2006 1:18 pm

Pinky;456890 wrote: LMAO!!! You know I'm terrible for playing up to rumours, but if someone cheesed me off that badly, they wouldn't have the chance to comment on it.

They'd be spending their days catching flies on their lilypad:D

you are funny pinky. good for you that you stand up for yourself like that. :-4

guppy · Post by **guppy** » Sun Nov 12, 2006 1:26 pm

Pinky;456899 wrote: I always do...once I get over feeling a bit squashed, I turn into bitchbag harridan from hell.

dont we all.....when you get squashed........

esp. when you get played from a player that is really good at it. aw well. live and learn. right?

weber · Post by **weber** » Sun Nov 12, 2006 2:02 pm

Clancy;456797 wrote: Couldn't have said it better. Peg,

I'm watching Indiana Jones , and they're about to open the Arc

.....beams of light and swirly noise is swooshing out of it

"Just shut your eyes Miriam don't look at it"....."whatever happens, don't look at it"

Ohno Clancy

I'm lookin', I'm nosy and I'm waitin' for a better nekkid picter thank you sir:-2 :-3 :-6 :-4

guppy · Post by **guppy** » Sun Nov 12, 2006 2:09 pm

if you manage to get the pics of clancy. do share. .....:wah:

daBunnyWendy7 · Post by **daBunnyWendy7** » Sun Nov 12, 2006 2:09 pm

cherandbuster;456738 wrote: Hi Zinkmeister

I personally have never had any issues with you.

As far as I am concerned, what happened between the two of you should stay between the two of you.

I've enjoyed your company in the Garden and do hope you choose to stay :-6

I agree. Mend or end the relationship and heal your relationship w your wife.

No judgement from me.

guppy · Post by **guppy** » Sun Nov 12, 2006 2:39 pm

flopstock;456967 wrote: See, now I read it that he feels like pond scum. No reason he shouldn't if he doesn't feel right about what he was up to. Probably one of the major reasons it was such a disaster for him. That's less of a reflection on the woman and more of a self-reflection IMO.

I don't judge either of them, except to be sorry that what could have been a great friendship has apparently ended. That what began with the best of intentions has to end on such a sour and unhappy note.

Her best revenge is to toss this all aside and find someone who says 'oh, yeah...she's it' and have fabulous monkey sex and companionship for the rest of her life. Because one persons judgment of 'I don't think so', for whatever reason...does not make it a fact of the other persons life. Even if they think it does at the immediate moment.

:-4 flop