Would You Cheat On YOur Partner?

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Mon Nov 06, 2006 4:22 pm

poor pinks why on earth would he do that to some one as special as you:-3

oh yeah he'was a man

we do that some times :wah:

i have never cheated on sue though :-6

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Mon Nov 06, 2006 4:54 pm

Pinky;451881 wrote: Glad to hear it too!

Ha - the look on his face was a picture when I put my name on for karaoke...I sang that Pussycat dolls tune....

Dontcha wish your girlfriend was hot like me

Dontcha wish your girlfriend was fun like me..

Dontcha...:wah:

Evil bag that I am, haha!

Wasn't that funny at the time though. I was gutted, but I wasn't going to show him that.

really cool i wish i was there :wah:

ok i am going to bed now really ... any second now ....got hospitals and planes to think of tomorrow

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Mon Nov 06, 2006 5:05 pm

i almost never say personal things here. well, sometimes i have. Bothwell and i have been together for over 2 years. he's 4500 miles away. flies over whenever he can. in fact, is going to move here with me. he and i both have never had difficulty being faithful. we just deal with it and get through it. i have no doubts about him, and he has none about me. when i see him again we shall be happy and pleased and make love. with the fullness of our hearts.

guppy · Post by **guppy** » Mon Nov 06, 2006 5:09 pm

that is great news lc. i am sooooooooooooo happy for you.....both...:-4

guppy · Post by **guppy** » Mon Nov 06, 2006 5:19 pm

Pinky;451881 wrote: Glad to hear it too!

Ha - the look on his face was a picture when I put my name on for karaoke...I sang that Pussycat dolls tune....

Dontcha wish your girlfriend was hot like me

Dontcha wish your girlfriend was fun like me..

Dontcha...:wah:

Evil bag that I am, haha!

Wasn't that funny at the time though. I was gutted, but I wasn't going to show him that.

pinky, he must of been retarded to do you like that.

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Mon Nov 06, 2006 5:22 pm

Pinky;451930 wrote: Aw...you two really have something special there:-4
thanks...i know. i have such memories of us together here. dancing under moonlit palms and smiling at each other at a beach bar, him laying on my couch and taking my hand as we watched 4 weddings and love actually, him fracturing his ribs when we went fishing. he is so brilliant and funny! here he is with the catch of the day LOL

Attached files

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Mon Nov 06, 2006 5:45 pm

Oh, you posted his handsome pic-that was always one of my favorites of your beloved, LC.:-4

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Mon Nov 06, 2006 9:29 pm

cherandbuster;451709 wrote: Hiya Z

But that's the loaded part of the question, isn't it?

A healthy relationship and a happy relationship and a sexual relationship aren't easy to maintain with the same person over the years

Would you guys agree? :-6

I'm afraid I would not agree, Cher. Not for me anyway.

Never say never: I do say never. I would want to kill a man who cheated on me so I certainly wouldn't do it to him. I have never cheated and if things were that way, I would have the class, decency and self respect to end the marriage or commitment FIRST.

:)

guppy · Post by **guppy** » Mon Nov 06, 2006 9:33 pm

RedGlitter;452013 wrote: I'm afraid I would not agree, Cher. Not for me anyway.

Never say never: I do say never. I would want to kill a man who cheated on me so I certainly wouldn't do it to him. I have never cheated and if things were that way, I would have the class, decency and self respect to end the marriage or commitment FIRST.

:)

I KNOW IT SOUNDS LIKE THE MOST HEALTHY WAY TO LIVE BUT BE CAREFUL RED. YOU NEVER KNOW UNTILL YOU ARE FACED WITH IT. ...............

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Mon Nov 06, 2006 9:46 pm

But Guppy....what makes you think I haven't?

:)

Marie5656 · Post by **Marie5656** » Mon Nov 06, 2006 10:03 pm

I did once, early in our dating..went out with another guy. But not since, and would not consider it. Too tired to keep up with just one relationship.

pantsonfire321@aol.com · Tue Nov 07, 2006 3:19 am

goonerboy2001;451632 wrote: Would you cheat on your other half if you thought you could get away with it?...mmmm if natalie imbruglie offered it on a plate though id think twice:-4

Nope never - why have a hamburger when ive got rump steak at home :yh_wink

chrisb84uk · Post by **chrisb84uk** » Tue Nov 07, 2006 3:24 am

Nope never to answer the question.

Imladris · Post by **Imladris** » Tue Nov 07, 2006 4:46 am

My hubby and I used to say that if ever one of us cheated that would be the end of the marriage. but I think that as we've both got older and wiser we understand that nothing is that black and white.

We are both as committed to our marriage as we ever have been but we have seen friends marriages recover from infidelity and accept that all relationships go through dark times and it is easy to be tempted by someone who is giving you the attention you're not getting at home.

I love my hubby more now than I ever have and would struggle to get over infidelity on his part, but I have a child to consider - she loves her dad so much and would be devastated if we split that I now feel that I would try to work through it. However I do know for sure that if it happened again then watch out, nuts for a necklace springs to mind!!

By the way, how do you feel about non-sexual cheating? By that I mean fantasising about being with someone else, or flirting with a friend or co-worker, or online relationships. Does that threaten your relationship?

Wolverine · Post by **Wolverine** » Tue Nov 07, 2006 10:13 am

i personally would never cheat.

well i take that back. if Scarlet Johansen, Sela Ward, or Robin Tunney showed up and said 'Do Me!' i would have to oblige.

but those are my three.

but other than them, and maybe Pinks, Floppy, and BR; nope never. and sheryl, i guess. if i had to. like if some guy had kidnapped us, put a gun to my head and said, "ravage her or you die" then yes i definately would.

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Tue Nov 07, 2006 12:21 pm

flopstock;452408 wrote: I agree. I don't judge anyone I can't reach out and smack personally..:wah:

But as for anyone else's behavior in a relationship that I don't have to live for them, none of my business. They certainly don't need my approval anymore then I ask for theirs in the way that I behave.

:D Who's judging who, Flopstock? It was a valid question and I answered it sincerely. My disapproval of infidelity is not a judgement call. It is part of what I value and hold sacred. It's okay to do that you know. It's called standing for something.

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Tue Nov 07, 2006 12:27 pm

Imladris;452206 wrote:

By the way, how do you feel about non-sexual cheating? By that I mean fantasising about being with someone else, or flirting with a friend or co-worker, or online relationships. Does that threaten your relationship?

That's a good question.

I don't find flirting to be cheating. I think you can take flirting too far but just generally speaking, I don't see anything wrong with a good natured flirt- unless a spouse/partner objects in which case it should cease.

What kind of online relationship did you have in mind? Is it a sexual thing? Not cool. Is it just a friendship with the opposite sex? Shouldn't be a problem.

My opinion.

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Tue Nov 07, 2006 8:36 pm

flopstock;452688 wrote: Actually I was agreeing with the statement that you can never know unless you are faced with something. That is a valid statement. You may be 1000% sure you know, but you don't really... unless you are actually in the situation yourself and not just looking at it from the sidelines.. hence, the reach out and smack (imiagine in your mind the position the other is in..facing you)

And most folks have values they hold dear and sacred. what thoses values are - differ from person to person... that does not make them less valid or sacred to that person. that's okay too, ya know?

Yes, I agree. That's why I stiffened when I saw "judgement" - because when I say things, I often fail to say "in my opinion..." and so often people will think I'm judging their views. You've seen how I write, you can probably imagine how I can get into trouble with this.

:wah:

Imladris · Post by **Imladris** » Wed Nov 08, 2006 3:48 am

RedGlitter;452613 wrote: That's a good question.

I don't find flirting to be cheating. I think you can take flirting too far but just generally speaking, I don't see anything wrong with a good natured flirt- unless a spouse/partner objects in which case it should cease.

What kind of online relationship did you have in mind? Is it a sexual thing? Not cool. Is it just a friendship with the opposite sex? Shouldn't be a problem.

My opinion.

I think that a little flirtation can be a healthy thing providing that your partner is not upset by it. Both my husband and I can flirt and we find it funny watching the other do it, not in a voyueristic way more in a I can't believe your doing it way - does that make sense?

Both of us would run a mile if we thought anyone was taking us seriously, we're both quite ordinary, not overly attractive so neither have people really interested in us in 'that' way.

I'm totally against cyber sex if you're already in a relationship, that is a betrayal of trust, when you make a committment to someone you are agreeing not to indulge in sexual activity with someone else so even if you're not with that someone else there is still that betrayal. I think I'm a bit befuddled but I hope I'm understandable!!

Linio · Post by **Linio** » Wed Nov 08, 2006 4:45 am

Actually infidelity is mostly how you companion react to wathever things (sexual or not) you may do with someone else.

Like when you say we can't flirt but can't ... do more. Some might consider even that like cheating.

To me cheating si not something wrong, but I wouldn't go for it, and if my (potential) girlfriend pulled something like that, it will sure be the end of us.

But I do understand why people do cheat. It's simple. Very simple, and sometimes, it's hard to fight. It's always the same song, you wake up every morning, you see the same face everyday, he's not shaved, she doesn't wear make up, then you go to the office and see collegues, always neat, clean, and when someone tries to charm you, sometimes you just can't fight. I know it's cliché (accent or not?) but that's often the way it is. No love involved, just basic need. After all we're not genetically programmed for monogamy...

Look at me as the devil's advocate

Well like I say, I understand but I don't forgive.

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Wed Nov 08, 2006 4:51 am

Linio;453030 wrote: After all we're not genetically programmed for monogamy...

Hello Linio

You've expressed your opinion well here -- excellent English!

But I'm curious what other FGers think about the above statement

Which I tend to agree with in theory . . .

Linio · Post by **Linio** » Wed Nov 08, 2006 5:10 am

Thanks :yh_blush

I do really believe that. Not that a normal human being cannot surpass this, but after all the beginning of humanity was not about one woman for one man.

Monogamy is just a conception created by us.

To me it's a proof of intelligence and love to be faithful, but as a matter of fact can we totally forget our genes and our basic instinct? The question needs to be asked in my opinion. Though it's a little philosophical.

Well, don't cheat and you won't have to answer the question! (Or don't get caught :p )

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Wed Nov 08, 2006 5:18 am

I am not good with philosophical questions but I will try.

I don't really accept that. I'm not sure though what we would use as our yardstick on this?? What are we going by? That we may have sexual desire for people other than our partner? Acting on the desire? Or just having it?

I think generally, everyone is different. I know there are those who get "bored" and can't stay with one person for long. That may even be a character flaw, who knows.

I think that has more to do with physical rather than emotional concepts.

When I consider the whole package and bring love/emotion into it, then I have to say I think most people are monogamous. That doesn't mean a relationship doesn't take work. But I don't see basic relationship troubles as a sign of going against nature. That is not coming across right, is it? :-5

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Wed Nov 08, 2006 5:25 am

Linio;453058 wrote: Monogamy is just a conception created by us.

Very true.

I believe in it for me

But I definitely don't think it works for all of humankind. Some people are not cut out for it.

And to those folks

Welcome to DivorceLand

Linio · Post by **Linio** » Wed Nov 08, 2006 5:29 am

Actually i would consider a person having only sexual desire for his/her partner to be a little 'weird'. I mean obviously everybody once in their life looked at someone else and said : 'Man i'd like to do something with this person'.

That's where i talk about basic instinct.

Of course nobody (well at least few people) act about it, but the envy is still there.

Is it so worse to do something with someone than to have dreamt it ?

That's where feelings and intelligence comes into play in my opinion (and that's just mine). I never cheated and never will, but it's like when I see people saying : 'flirt is okay, more is not', somehow everybody knows a day will comme when their partner will have sexual desire for someone else...

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Wed Nov 08, 2006 5:32 am

Linio;453079 wrote: 'Man i'd like to do something with this person'.

Are you kidding?

I'd like to do most of the guys here :p :-4

Linio · Post by **Linio** » Wed Nov 08, 2006 5:33 am

Boston...

Ok i can be there in twelve hours...

I bring the champaign? :-4

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Wed Nov 08, 2006 5:33 am

Linio;453079 wrote: That's where i talk about basic instinct.

Ahhhh

But we are supposed to have the capabilities to *act* or *not act* on these feelings.

Isn't that what differentiates us from the rest of the animal population?

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Wed Nov 08, 2006 5:34 am

Linio;453084 wrote: Boston...

Ok i can be there in twelve hours...

I bring the champaign? :-4

Oh you're a young student

Maybe I could teach you a few tricks

:guitarist

And I *do* love champagne!!

Linio · Post by **Linio** » Wed Nov 08, 2006 5:37 am

Maybe you could indeed... Who knows...

Well let's not get carried away

(or let's continue in private lol

)

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Wed Nov 08, 2006 5:40 am

Linio;453090 wrote: Maybe you could indeed... Who knows...

Well let's not get carried away

(or let's continue in private lol

)

It's more fun to continue in public :p

Linio · Post by **Linio** » Wed Nov 08, 2006 5:42 am

So... tell me more about what I can learn from you ... ? :p

'Paroles... paroles...'

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Wed Nov 08, 2006 5:50 am

Linio;453096 wrote: So... tell me more about what I can learn from you ... ? :p

'Paroles... paroles...'

*blushes and gets very embarrassed*

pantsonfire321@aol.com · Wed Nov 08, 2006 5:52 am

Linio;453079 wrote: Actually i would consider a person having only sexual desire for his/her partner to be a little 'weird'. I mean obviously everybody once in their life looked at someone else and said : 'Man i'd like to do something with this person'.That's where i talk about basic instinct.

Of course nobody (well at least few people) act about it, but the envy is still there.

Is it so worse to do something with someone than to have dreamt it ?

That's where feelings and intelligence comes into play in my opinion (and that's just mine). I never cheated and never will, but it's like when I see people saying : 'flirt is okay, more is not', somehow everybody knows a day will comme when their partner will have sexual desire for someone else...

Ive been with my other half for about 8 /9 years and i have no desire what so ever to sleep with another man . I can quite happily appreciate a goodlooking man but that doesn't make me want to jump his bones . I envy no body because im extremey happy and content with what i have.

Linio · Post by **Linio** » Wed Nov 08, 2006 6:04 am

How do you quite happily enjoy a good loking man ?

Actually I'm just a man, so I won't speak on behalf of the womankind, but mostly about what I know about mens (all pigs

)

I don't say we can't be happy in couple, or god help me, but i'm just saying one day most certainly you reach the point where sexual desire for your partner is less strong, and feelings take the upperhand. When that happens, you may (or may not, after all, it all depends on where you live and how you live your life) encounter someone who makes you feel something. Not specially sexual desire, but something.

beautiful_soul · Post by **beautiful_soul** » Tue Nov 14, 2006 8:03 pm

there can be thoughts but in terms with action, i dont think i ever will especially if i really loved my partner.

guppy · Post by **guppy** » Tue Nov 14, 2006 8:15 pm

Pinky;459539 wrote: If you love your partner, then no.

If you don't, then whatever you do is up to you, as long as you are willing to face whatever consequences may come of it.

true, very true. you never know what conseguences you might have to pay.

marriage is basically about meeting eachothers needs. when one or more dont get met, then you leave the other half in a vulnerable position. and things happen.