Top 10 ways NOT to start a police report...

[valerie]

1. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...



2. The names contained in this report have been changed to protect the innocent...



3. The mayor then made an illegal left hand turn onto Mulraney at which point I opened fire...



4. Before I get into the details, I’ve got a few "shout-outs" for my homeys in the command staff...



5. It was so dark and wet that night you could almost eat the mist. The radio call penetrated the eerie silence with such piercing intensity that for a moment, I was sure I’d lose my mind...



6. Got call. Responded. Arrested bad guy. The end...



7. Mye pertnar an eye wher on petrol wen we seen a man act suspishushly...



8. Let me just start by stressing the fact that at no point was I without my badge and gun, and the nudity was critical to establish a certain level of trust with the prostitutes...



9. The suspect then tried to assault me by repeatedly slamming his face into my fist.



10. A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away...