GO GET YOUR MAMMIES GRAMMED
This is hysterical! Make sure you read the whole thing. It's a serious message, but you get to laugh on the way there.
For years and years they told me,
Be careful of your breasts.
Don't ever squeeze or bruise them.
And give them monthly tests.
So I heeded all their warnings,
And protected them by law.
Guarded them very carefully,
And I always wore my bra.
After 30 years of astute care,
My gyno, Dr Pruitt,
Said I should get a Mammogram
"OK," I said, "let's do it."
"Stand up here real close" she said,
(She got my boob in line),
"And tell me when it hurts," she said,
"Ah yes! Right there, that's fine."
She stepped upon a pedal,
I could not believe my eyes!
A plastic plate came slamming down,
My hooters in a vise!
My skin was stretched and mangled,
From underneath my chin.
My poor boob was being squashed,
To Swedish Pancake thin.
Excruciating pain I felt,
Within it's viselike grip.
A prisoner in this vicious thing,
My poor defenseless tit!
"Take a deep breath, she said to me,
Who does she think she's kidding?!?
My chest is mashed in her machine,
And woozy I am getting.
"There, that's good," I heard her say,
(The room was slowly swaying.)
"Now, let's have a go at the other one."
Have mercy, I was praying.
It squeezed me from both up and down,
It squeezed me from both sides.
I'll bet SHE'S never had this done,
To HER tender little hide.
Next time that they make me do this,
I will request a blindfold.
I have no wish to see again,
My knockers getting steam rolled.
If I had no problem when I came in,
I surely have one now.
If there had been a cyst in there,
It would have gone "ker-pow!"
This machine was created by a man,
Of this, I have no doubt.
I'd like to stick his balls in there,
And, see how THEY come out!
Fun with mammograms!
Fun with mammograms!
[FONT=Arial Black]I hope you cherish this sweet way of life, and I hope you know that it comes with a price.
~Darrel Worley~
[/FONT]
Bullet's trial was a farce. Can I get an AMEN?????
We won't be punished for our sins, but BY them.
~Darrel Worley~
[/FONT]
Bullet's trial was a farce. Can I get an AMEN?????
We won't be punished for our sins, but BY them.
Fun with mammograms!
Even facing one in a few days... I can still laugh at that!
:yh_rotfl
:yh_rotfl
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LilacDragon
- Posts: 1382
- Joined: Wed Sep 28, 2005 4:23 am
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actionfigurestepho
- Posts: 1086
- Joined: Fri Jul 22, 2005 7:32 am
Fun with mammograms!
Is THAT what a mammogram is?
If it's painful for us smaller ladies then I'm not getting one. Ever. *shudder*
If it's painful for us smaller ladies then I'm not getting one. Ever. *shudder*
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LilacDragon
- Posts: 1382
- Joined: Wed Sep 28, 2005 4:23 am
Fun with mammograms!
It wasn't really bad and I am sure not nearly as painful as surgery and chemo. I think I will endure that 10 minutes of discomfort yearly if it helps avoid the alternative.
Sandi
Fun with mammograms!
BabyRider wrote: GO GET YOUR MAMMIES GRAMMED
This is hysterical! Make sure you read the whole thing. It's a serious message, but you get to laugh on the way there.
This machine was created by a man,
Of this, I have no doubt.
I'd like to stick his balls in there,
And, see how THEY come out!
This contraption and high heeled shoes.
If men got pregnant, do you think George Bush would oppose abortion???
This is hysterical! Make sure you read the whole thing. It's a serious message, but you get to laugh on the way there.
This machine was created by a man,
Of this, I have no doubt.
I'd like to stick his balls in there,
And, see how THEY come out!
This contraption and high heeled shoes.
If men got pregnant, do you think George Bush would oppose abortion???
Fun with mammograms!
BabyRider wrote:
A plastic plate came slamming down,
My hooters in a vise!
My skin was stretched and mangled,
From underneath my chin.
My poor boob was being squashed,
To Swedish Pancake thin.
Excruciating pain I felt,
Within it's viselike grip.
A prisoner in this vicious thing,
My poor defenseless tit!
:wah: That is so funny and so true!
The centre at my local hospital that do mammogram's is, called The Popham Centre!!
Makes you wonder what idiot named it does'nt it?
A plastic plate came slamming down,
My hooters in a vise!
My skin was stretched and mangled,
From underneath my chin.
My poor boob was being squashed,
To Swedish Pancake thin.
Excruciating pain I felt,
Within it's viselike grip.
A prisoner in this vicious thing,
My poor defenseless tit!
:wah: That is so funny and so true!
The centre at my local hospital that do mammogram's is, called The Popham Centre!!
Makes you wonder what idiot named it does'nt it?