How do you deal with lost friendships?

Kathy Ellen · Post by **Kathy Ellen** » Sat Aug 27, 2011 9:09 pm

I've just lost a friendship recently. I'm not sure why we lost communications, but we did.

You have a friendship with someone and all seems to be going well, and then 'poof' the friendship is gone.

How do you deal with lost friendships, especially when you don't understand why this has happened?

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Sun Aug 28, 2011 3:59 am

I've never done well.......to me, were all adults and the other friend should be willing to talk things out.

and having other friends should never matter.

but sometimes it all depends what your your friend did say in anger, one of mine called me everything and more in outrageous swearing words and that I will not accept.

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Sun Aug 28, 2011 4:10 am

Not much you can do, sometimes good friends just loose contact. You have to go on, and just make new friends although they never replace the one you lost.

Post by **Betty Boop** » Sun Aug 28, 2011 7:17 am

Some people seem to come into our lives for short periods of time. Others stay no matter what.

A true friend drifts in and out of our lives effortlessly. They are the sort of people that don't complain if you've not been in contact for a while. They don't carry around pre-conceived ideas of what a friend is and how a friend should act, including how often they should communicate etc.

Ahso! · Post by **Ahso!** » Sun Aug 28, 2011 8:13 am

Perceived rejection can invoke very strong feelings and cause people to go into a funk causing anywhere from mild to severe depression. Of course, so much of how one handles these funks depends on their interpretation of life.

Lon · Post by **Lon** » Sun Aug 28, 2011 10:39 am

Kathy Ellen;1367339 wrote: I've just lost a friendship recently. I'm not sure why we lost communications, but we did.

You have a friendship with someone and all seems to be going well, and then 'poof' the friendship is gone.

How do you deal with lost friendships, especially when you don't understand why this has happened?

Is it possible that it was never a real friendship to begin with, but merely an acquaintance, sometimes the relationship is pretty one sided.

along-for-the-ride · Post by **along-for-the-ride** » Sun Aug 28, 2011 1:05 pm

Since I have moved so much in my life so far for one reason or another, I have made alot of friends and have had to leave them. They always remain in my heart and I do hope they are happy.

Now that I have lived in this area for over 20 years, I know few people who I call true friends. My two best friends are my Hubby and my sister.

I kinda envy folks who have stayed in one place all their lives and have friendships since childhood. Must be nice. My sister is that kind of friend to me, although we live far apart.

I agree with Betty Boop's post.

Kathy Ellen · Post by **Kathy Ellen** » Sun Aug 28, 2011 5:04 pm

Lon;1367391 wrote: Is it possible that it was never a real friendship to begin with, but merely an acquaintance, sometimes the relationship is pretty one sided.

You could be right there Lon. I'm too trusting at times and assume too much.

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Sun Aug 28, 2011 5:53 pm

Odie;1367361 wrote: I've never done well.......to me, were all adults and the other friend should be willing to talk things out.

and having other friends should never matter.

Kathy, that's your problem right there, we have lost our friend ship, yet your not willing to talk it out.

but sometimes it all depends what your your friend did say in anger, one of mine called me everything and more in outrageous swearing words and that I will not accept.

·

Kathy, that's your problem right there, we have lost our friend ship, yet your not willing to talk it out..

fuzzywuzzy · Post by **fuzzywuzzy** » Sun Aug 28, 2011 6:06 pm

Kathy if you can have a listen to this .

Angus and Julia Stone - Old Friend - YouTube

fuzzywuzzy · Post by **fuzzywuzzy** » Sun Aug 28, 2011 6:06 pm

Kathy if you can have a listen to this .

Angus and Julia Stone - Old Friend - YouTube

Kathy Ellen · Post by **Kathy Ellen** » Mon Aug 29, 2011 12:39 am

fuzzywuzzy;1367426 wrote: Kathy if you can have a listen to this .

Angus and Julia Stone - Old Friend - YouTube

Oh Mags :-4,

Thank you so much for sharing this song. I absolutely loved it.

Love the singers especially since they're from Oz. Just read their bio.

Will listen to more of their music:-6

Kathy Ellen · Post by **Kathy Ellen** » Mon Aug 29, 2011 1:23 am

Betty Boop;1367375 wrote: Some people seem to come into our lives for short periods of time. Others stay no matter what.

A true friend drifts in and out of our lives effortlessly. They are the sort of people that don't complain if you've not been in contact for a while. They don't carry around pre-conceived ideas of what a friend is and how a friend should act, including how often they should communicate etc.

Good answer Betty. I'm truly terrible keeping in contact with some friends. But, I must say that they always forgive me. I still have a close friendship with my kindergarden friend.

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Mon Aug 29, 2011 5:05 am

try reaching out and talking it talking it through like I suggested

we do.

flopstock · Post by **flopstock** » Mon Aug 29, 2011 5:41 am

Kathy Ellen;1367339 wrote: I've just lost a friendship recently. I'm not sure why we lost communications, but we did.

You have a friendship with someone and all seems to be going well, and then 'poof' the friendship is gone.

How do you deal with lost friendships, especially when you don't understand why this has happened?

First off, I have a hard time imagining you losing a friendship, real or virtual.

Sometimes folks are going through things that cause them to put distance between themselves and the not absolutely essential connections in their lives. I vote to give these folks their space and just drop a line now and again reminding them you are thinking of them.

There are a lot of reasons friendships can fall off. Not all of them are bad things, in the long run.

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Mon Aug 29, 2011 7:46 am

Kathy Ellen;1367339 wrote: I've just lost a friendship recently. I'm not sure why we lost communications, but we did.

You have a friendship with someone and all seems to be going well, and then 'poof' the friendship is gone.

How do you deal with lost friendships, especially when you don't understand why this has happened?
Kathy, Is the friendship In life or online?

I ask because I think I have an Idea as to who It is?

What I have learnt since using forums over the past two years or so Is that there are many fickle people out there on line and I have also learnt that I can never please all of the people all of the time.

To be honest, I got fed up pandering to people who took offence because I posted with this person or that person. It Is the gang mentality of forums.

If some-one can just cut you off, especially you Kathy, without any explanation or thought for your feelings, then were they such a good friend In the first place?

That's another thing I learnt with people on line. Sometimes It's not that actually want to be friends with you but need allies to show how popular they are and gang up on the rest. Strength In numbers and all that.

I recently also had someone on line who I thought I was friends with just cut everyone off. No explanation or thought as to explain why.

The Important thing Is Kathy, Is that you don't let their rudeness upset you. You have many other friends. Someone who hasn't even the curtesy to give you an explanation shouldn't expect you to rally around them again when It suits them...... and they will !!!

Kathy Ellen · Post by **Kathy Ellen** » Mon Aug 29, 2011 9:55 am

Good advice Floppy:-6

Hi Oscar,

Thanks for all of your good advice. No, you don't know this person. It's a friend in real life. Still don't know what happened as I haven't been on the phone or at home for the last few days.

I just hate drama, and if I've done something to offend, then tell me so I can make things right.

I think I'm just going to take the good advice offered here and not worry about it anymore. It is what it is!!