I don't always understand why I do some of the things I do. My problem is I become obsessed with trying to understand the underlying reasons and I end up over thinking the details to death and the issue can become insurmountable and overwhelming. Its rare I can just let go and accept circumstances. I don't think whatever the issue is is necessarily the problem. The problem is the way I process information in my mind.
Out of curiousity Ive always thought it would be interesting to be someone else for a day just to see how another processes information and perceives events.
Id like to find a healthy balance between my thoughts and feelings to arrive at reasonable conclusions. I believe my emotions supercede my thoughts and my mind is influenced largely by my feelings. At least I think so regarding personal issues. By that I mean relationships, the way I interact with others that are meaningful to me.
If an interaction takes place with someone of no personal value to myself my emotions dont play much of a role at all.
So, while some of us more connected on an analytical level or an emotional level due to our personal nature my goal is to improve upon what I do have to work with.
Since my nature is more on the emotional level Id like to find a way to introduce more logic into my thought process while still maintaining integrity to who and what I am, my strength has always been my uh softer or compassionate side while some of my thinking seems overly critical and I dont always trust that aspect of myself.
Sh*t, I dont know if this is part 1 or what but Im interested in other peoples perspectives.
Overthinking
Overthinking
I AM AWESOME MAN
Overthinking
Nomad;1359903 wrote: If an interaction takes place with someone of no personal value to myself my emotions dont play much of a role at all.Let me guess - that's one of the lines they cut from The Godfather?
Nullius in verba ... ☎||||||||||| ... To Fate I sue, of other means bereft, the only refuge for the wretched left.
When flower power came along I stood for Human Rights, marched around for peace and freedom, had some nooky every night - we took it serious.
Who has a spare two minutes to play in this month's FG Trivia game! ... My other OS is Slackware.
When flower power came along I stood for Human Rights, marched around for peace and freedom, had some nooky every night - we took it serious.
Who has a spare two minutes to play in this month's FG Trivia game! ... My other OS is Slackware.
Overthinking
Nomad;1359903 wrote: I don't always understand why I do some of the things I do. My problem is I become obsessed with trying to understand the underlying reasons and I end up over thinking the details to death and the issue can become insurmountable and overwhelming. Its rare I can just let go and accept circumstances. I don't think whatever the issue is is necessarily the problem. The problem is the way I process information in my mind.
Out of curiousity Ive always thought it would be interesting to be someone else for a day just to see how another processes information and perceives events.
Id like to find a healthy balance between my thoughts and feelings to arrive at reasonable conclusions. I believe my emotions supercede my thoughts and my mind is influenced largely by my feelings. At least I think so regarding personal issues. By that I mean relationships, the way I interact with others that are meaningful to me.
If an interaction takes place with someone of no personal value to myself my emotions dont play much of a role at all.
So, while some of us more connected on an analytical level or an emotional level due to our personal nature my goal is to improve upon what I do have to work with.
Since my nature is more on the emotional level Id like to find a way to introduce more logic into my thought process while still maintaining integrity to who and what I am, my strength has always been my uh softer or compassionate side while some of my thinking seems overly critical and I dont always trust that aspect of myself.
Sh*t, I dont know if this is part 1 or what but Im interested in other peoples perspectives.I think I could have written these words verbatim about myself, too. You've articulated it very well.
There's a lot to be said for these qualities (or whatever you'd like to call them), IMO. In times past these tendencies of yours (and mine as well as countless others like us) would be invaluable aids to the survival of yourself and those who would depend on you. Though the difficulties associated with many social interactions can be overwhelming.
There are lots of advantages to a human maintaining that young feeling and being one capable of focusing (and obsessing) intensely on whatever it is you're involved in. Unfortunately, it's difficult for others to appreciate these tendencies, indeed, at times it's difficult for us to appreciate them as well.
My family and I have had many, many discussions on this subject because those conversations not only helps them understand their father or husband, but it provides insight into their own personality quirks and tendencies.
There's nothing to fix though and there is no way around who or what I am. I've tried just about everything I've come across involving psychology, philosophy, behavioral drugs, illegal drugs, alcohol and, religion too. The only thing that's happened in each and every case is I've become obsessed with each of them one-by-one :wah:. It's like a Rod Serling story at times.
What has proven to be a most difficult part of all this is the associated labels of the - condition(?). Fortunately, through the efforts of family and some kind folk on this and a couple of other forums, I've been able to disassociate myself from, or, shed the labels, and that's important because we all do have a tendency to live whatever story we accept as reality, consciously or otherwise.
Psychology would have us accept the accusation that there's something wrong with us, that we're 'disordered'; Religion maintains we lack something and need divine forgiveness which only comes through a relationship with some god; philosophy tells us it's all a mystery or puzzle to be figured out, small step by small step. Really, what it is, is that we're members of a species and there are variations within that species, just like any other. It's how Natural Selection works, period. We are what and who we are, we just need to learn to embrace that fact.
As evolution becomes more understood and accepted by more members of our species things will change, understanding will increase, labels and certain myths will disappear and people like us will feel less alien. That's not going to happen in our lifetime though. Or, who knows, genetic science may allow our species to design it's offspring in the future and our variation will become extinct.
Out of curiousity Ive always thought it would be interesting to be someone else for a day just to see how another processes information and perceives events.
Id like to find a healthy balance between my thoughts and feelings to arrive at reasonable conclusions. I believe my emotions supercede my thoughts and my mind is influenced largely by my feelings. At least I think so regarding personal issues. By that I mean relationships, the way I interact with others that are meaningful to me.
If an interaction takes place with someone of no personal value to myself my emotions dont play much of a role at all.
So, while some of us more connected on an analytical level or an emotional level due to our personal nature my goal is to improve upon what I do have to work with.
Since my nature is more on the emotional level Id like to find a way to introduce more logic into my thought process while still maintaining integrity to who and what I am, my strength has always been my uh softer or compassionate side while some of my thinking seems overly critical and I dont always trust that aspect of myself.
Sh*t, I dont know if this is part 1 or what but Im interested in other peoples perspectives.I think I could have written these words verbatim about myself, too. You've articulated it very well.
There's a lot to be said for these qualities (or whatever you'd like to call them), IMO. In times past these tendencies of yours (and mine as well as countless others like us) would be invaluable aids to the survival of yourself and those who would depend on you. Though the difficulties associated with many social interactions can be overwhelming.
There are lots of advantages to a human maintaining that young feeling and being one capable of focusing (and obsessing) intensely on whatever it is you're involved in. Unfortunately, it's difficult for others to appreciate these tendencies, indeed, at times it's difficult for us to appreciate them as well.
My family and I have had many, many discussions on this subject because those conversations not only helps them understand their father or husband, but it provides insight into their own personality quirks and tendencies.
There's nothing to fix though and there is no way around who or what I am. I've tried just about everything I've come across involving psychology, philosophy, behavioral drugs, illegal drugs, alcohol and, religion too. The only thing that's happened in each and every case is I've become obsessed with each of them one-by-one :wah:. It's like a Rod Serling story at times.
What has proven to be a most difficult part of all this is the associated labels of the - condition(?). Fortunately, through the efforts of family and some kind folk on this and a couple of other forums, I've been able to disassociate myself from, or, shed the labels, and that's important because we all do have a tendency to live whatever story we accept as reality, consciously or otherwise.
Psychology would have us accept the accusation that there's something wrong with us, that we're 'disordered'; Religion maintains we lack something and need divine forgiveness which only comes through a relationship with some god; philosophy tells us it's all a mystery or puzzle to be figured out, small step by small step. Really, what it is, is that we're members of a species and there are variations within that species, just like any other. It's how Natural Selection works, period. We are what and who we are, we just need to learn to embrace that fact.
As evolution becomes more understood and accepted by more members of our species things will change, understanding will increase, labels and certain myths will disappear and people like us will feel less alien. That's not going to happen in our lifetime though. Or, who knows, genetic science may allow our species to design it's offspring in the future and our variation will become extinct.
“Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities,â€
Voltaire
I have only one thing to do and that's
Be the wave that I am and then
Sink back into the ocean
Fiona Apple
Voltaire
I have only one thing to do and that's
Be the wave that I am and then
Sink back into the ocean
Fiona Apple
-
Accountable
- Posts: 24818
- Joined: Mon May 30, 2005 8:33 am
Overthinking
Nomad;1359903 wrote: I don't always understand why I do some of the things I do. My problem is I become obsessed with trying to understand the underlying reasons and I end up over thinking the details to death and the issue can become insurmountable and overwhelming. Its rare I can just let go and accept circumstances. I don't think whatever the issue is is necessarily the problem. The problem is the way I process information in my mind.
Out of curiousity Ive always thought it would be interesting to be someone else for a day just to see how another processes information and perceives events.
Id like to find a healthy balance between my thoughts and feelings to arrive at reasonable conclusions. I believe my emotions supercede my thoughts and my mind is influenced largely by my feelings. At least I think so regarding personal issues. By that I mean relationships, the way I interact with others that are meaningful to me.
If an interaction takes place with someone of no personal value to myself my emotions dont play much of a role at all.
So, while some of us more connected on an analytical level or an emotional level due to our personal nature my goal is to improve upon what I do have to work with.
Since my nature is more on the emotional level Id like to find a way to introduce more logic into my thought process while still maintaining integrity to who and what I am, my strength has always been my uh softer or compassionate side while some of my thinking seems overly critical and I dont always trust that aspect of myself.
Sh*t, I dont know if this is part 1 or what but Im interested in other peoples perspectives.
I'm guessing that your emotions are more intense generally than other people's are, right? I'm like that to some degree as well. I usually pick up a string of thought and follow it back to the bitter end. That's my way of overthinking & overanalyzing. Emotional issues are the same way for me, and it's definitely gotten me in trouble. I get a bit obsessive.
I don't know if it would work for you, but I try to pay more attention to people's reactions toward my behavior. If I get too much into what I'm doing I tend to forget they're watching and say more than they care to hear or want to hear. If I can read their face in time I can stop talking or "doing" (the thinking doesn't stop) before I look too weird.
For instance, that phrase "a thought just came to me" intrigued me since I was a kid. If a thought "just came to me" I would try to trace it back. I can almost always explain what triggered the thought and why. (Well you mentioned spaghetti and I remembered a time when I was about 8 and a can of Spaghettio's I stole from the kitchen. I wasn't able to eat it because I forgot to steal a can opener. I ended up beating it with a rock, and my friend Jerry sat down to help me. That's why us trying to decide what to eat made me think of Jerry after all these years.)I've learned just to say "A thought just came to me" without providing the explanation.
As for allowing things to overwhelm you, I'd suggest you go small. I've never been a strategic thinker. I can think of big ideas, but actions and plans have to be small, building one on another, trusting that they will fit together somehow when I'm ready/able to look at it all together. Does that make sense?
Out of curiousity Ive always thought it would be interesting to be someone else for a day just to see how another processes information and perceives events.
Id like to find a healthy balance between my thoughts and feelings to arrive at reasonable conclusions. I believe my emotions supercede my thoughts and my mind is influenced largely by my feelings. At least I think so regarding personal issues. By that I mean relationships, the way I interact with others that are meaningful to me.
If an interaction takes place with someone of no personal value to myself my emotions dont play much of a role at all.
So, while some of us more connected on an analytical level or an emotional level due to our personal nature my goal is to improve upon what I do have to work with.
Since my nature is more on the emotional level Id like to find a way to introduce more logic into my thought process while still maintaining integrity to who and what I am, my strength has always been my uh softer or compassionate side while some of my thinking seems overly critical and I dont always trust that aspect of myself.
Sh*t, I dont know if this is part 1 or what but Im interested in other peoples perspectives.
I'm guessing that your emotions are more intense generally than other people's are, right? I'm like that to some degree as well. I usually pick up a string of thought and follow it back to the bitter end. That's my way of overthinking & overanalyzing. Emotional issues are the same way for me, and it's definitely gotten me in trouble. I get a bit obsessive.
I don't know if it would work for you, but I try to pay more attention to people's reactions toward my behavior. If I get too much into what I'm doing I tend to forget they're watching and say more than they care to hear or want to hear. If I can read their face in time I can stop talking or "doing" (the thinking doesn't stop) before I look too weird.
For instance, that phrase "a thought just came to me" intrigued me since I was a kid. If a thought "just came to me" I would try to trace it back. I can almost always explain what triggered the thought and why. (Well you mentioned spaghetti and I remembered a time when I was about 8 and a can of Spaghettio's I stole from the kitchen. I wasn't able to eat it because I forgot to steal a can opener. I ended up beating it with a rock, and my friend Jerry sat down to help me. That's why us trying to decide what to eat made me think of Jerry after all these years.)I've learned just to say "A thought just came to me" without providing the explanation.
As for allowing things to overwhelm you, I'd suggest you go small. I've never been a strategic thinker. I can think of big ideas, but actions and plans have to be small, building one on another, trusting that they will fit together somehow when I'm ready/able to look at it all together. Does that make sense?
Overthinking
That was great Acc. I really appreciate the personal insight time and effort you put into your reply. I need to absorb some of this before I comment.
I AM AWESOME MAN
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along-for-the-ride
- Posts: 11732
- Joined: Wed Mar 02, 2005 4:28 pm
Overthinking
You may find this article interesting, Nomie:
Are There Differences between the Brains of Males and Females?
Are There Differences between the Brains of Males and Females?
Life is a Highway. Let's share the Commute.
Overthinking
along-for-the-ride;1359999 wrote: Are There Differences between the Brains of Males and Females?Are there differences between a Texas Rib-Roast and a cheese soufflé?
Nullius in verba ... ☎||||||||||| ... To Fate I sue, of other means bereft, the only refuge for the wretched left.
When flower power came along I stood for Human Rights, marched around for peace and freedom, had some nooky every night - we took it serious.
Who has a spare two minutes to play in this month's FG Trivia game! ... My other OS is Slackware.
When flower power came along I stood for Human Rights, marched around for peace and freedom, had some nooky every night - we took it serious.
Who has a spare two minutes to play in this month's FG Trivia game! ... My other OS is Slackware.
Overthinking
I tend to think logic is overrated. That may be because I preferred my father's logical approach to the world over my mother's entirely emotional one. So I followed in his footsteps. It took a long time and a lot of effort to allow my emotions back in, because I didn't trust them. Ultimately, I realised that without emotions nothing I experienced had any true meaning. I was playing roles in other people's lives that may or may not have mattered but my own life could have been described in binary.
So, don't throw away your emotional self just because you can't reason with it.
The struggle you described has little to do with your emotional self. The emotional self just does and feels and lives life. The intellectual self tries to figure out why everything happened, what it means, and whether or not you want it to happen again. The most important of those intellectual endeavors is the last; do you want it to happen again? If the answer is no then I give my intellect a bit of room to reconstruct the problem and make the appropriate adjustments. That sometimes involves figuring out if I have emotional triggers from past events that cause me to react in ways I find unpleasant. If so, I use logic to find the trigger then revive the trigger and let my emotional self replay it in a private, safe space until I work through the issues. If done correctly, next time the trigger happens I find myself free to react in new ways.
I can sometimes find out a lot about myself and what issues I'm struggling with by observing the people I'm surrounded by. They are my Saturns, my challenges. No matter how much I'd like to say I don't see myself as the center of the universe, it is untrue. Everyone is the center of their own universe by biological construction. It doesn't have to mean you aren't sympathetic and compassionate towards the other planets within your vicinity. You might realize you are emitting toxic gases (heehee) that are disrupting the atmosphere of a nearby planet and make efforts to reduce, eliminate or, if all else fails, redirect the gas. You might have been totally unaware that the toxic gas was unpleasant until a nearby planet says "holy crap! what is that stuff??"
ok. all analogies fall apart at some point...
the main point of this post is that I want to reinforce that the emotional self, no matter how erratic, unpredictable, and trouble making, is the heart and soul of your experience as a human being. It may annoy you sometimes but you should love it anyway.
So, don't throw away your emotional self just because you can't reason with it.
The struggle you described has little to do with your emotional self. The emotional self just does and feels and lives life. The intellectual self tries to figure out why everything happened, what it means, and whether or not you want it to happen again. The most important of those intellectual endeavors is the last; do you want it to happen again? If the answer is no then I give my intellect a bit of room to reconstruct the problem and make the appropriate adjustments. That sometimes involves figuring out if I have emotional triggers from past events that cause me to react in ways I find unpleasant. If so, I use logic to find the trigger then revive the trigger and let my emotional self replay it in a private, safe space until I work through the issues. If done correctly, next time the trigger happens I find myself free to react in new ways.
I can sometimes find out a lot about myself and what issues I'm struggling with by observing the people I'm surrounded by. They are my Saturns, my challenges. No matter how much I'd like to say I don't see myself as the center of the universe, it is untrue. Everyone is the center of their own universe by biological construction. It doesn't have to mean you aren't sympathetic and compassionate towards the other planets within your vicinity. You might realize you are emitting toxic gases (heehee) that are disrupting the atmosphere of a nearby planet and make efforts to reduce, eliminate or, if all else fails, redirect the gas. You might have been totally unaware that the toxic gas was unpleasant until a nearby planet says "holy crap! what is that stuff??"
ok. all analogies fall apart at some point...
the main point of this post is that I want to reinforce that the emotional self, no matter how erratic, unpredictable, and trouble making, is the heart and soul of your experience as a human being. It may annoy you sometimes but you should love it anyway.
Overthinking
I once heard the processing and analytical powers of males and females compared to a house. In the female brain the house has no interior walls and the woman's brain is free to wander from room to room at will, even seeing multiple rooms at once.
Advantages: A larger view of problems, and the ability to see overall solutions to problems.
Disadvantages: More difficulty in seeing practical step-by-step solutions, and difficulty making clear decision and sticking with them.
Men, on the other hand, travel the house only room-by-room, dealing with each room as they come to it.
Advantages: Clear decision making and practical step-by step solutions.
Disadvantages: Difficulty seeing long-term goals or solutions, or seeing synergistic effects and the big picture.
Perfect example: (I'm sorry, but I can only speak here from a male viewpoint, I'll bow to the women here to supply a woman's) A girl tells her guy, "Today is our anniversary, are you going to get me some flowers?" To her, this is a simple suggestion.
Now, the guy is thinking, "Flowers? Where can I get them at this time of day? What is her favorite color? Is one kind of flower better than another? What about live flowers as opposed to ones that will die? Aren't flowers a rip off for that very reason?"
As he processes, he completely misses her request to be taken out to dinner too...
Advantages: A larger view of problems, and the ability to see overall solutions to problems.
Disadvantages: More difficulty in seeing practical step-by-step solutions, and difficulty making clear decision and sticking with them.
Men, on the other hand, travel the house only room-by-room, dealing with each room as they come to it.
Advantages: Clear decision making and practical step-by step solutions.
Disadvantages: Difficulty seeing long-term goals or solutions, or seeing synergistic effects and the big picture.
Perfect example: (I'm sorry, but I can only speak here from a male viewpoint, I'll bow to the women here to supply a woman's) A girl tells her guy, "Today is our anniversary, are you going to get me some flowers?" To her, this is a simple suggestion.
Now, the guy is thinking, "Flowers? Where can I get them at this time of day? What is her favorite color? Is one kind of flower better than another? What about live flowers as opposed to ones that will die? Aren't flowers a rip off for that very reason?"
As he processes, he completely misses her request to be taken out to dinner too...
Overthinking
BTW... Nomad, I suffer from the same problem. when my wife tells me, "I don't feel good today." I immediately begin to analyze. Did she take her blood thinners? Could this be the beginning of another clot? Is this another infection? Is she running a fever again? Did I let the house get too cold last night? Should I reprogram the thermostat? I start to ask her questions. "Is it you leg that is bothering you? (she does NOT like the word "stump") Or is it your ribs and sternum? (Which are still healing from the CPR breaks.) I tell myself that if I could figure out the source of the pain I could suggest something to fix the problem. It's the Engineer and Mathematician in me.
She just looks at me and says, "Why do you have to know where the pain is? Can't you just give me a hug?"
I'm a freakin' maroon.:-5
She just looks at me and says, "Why do you have to know where the pain is? Can't you just give me a hug?"
I'm a freakin' maroon.:-5
Overthinking
That's actually not a bad analogy, keeping in mind that all people possess a balance or imbalance of masculine and feminine energies.
I'm somewhat thrown off by the example being one of a woman asking a man to get and do things for her as that seems overwhelmingly to be the male/female dynamic. I'd assume that the man missed the request for dinner because he zoned out at the 'yet again she wants more from me' scenario. lol
We also, then, encounter the learned vs innate debate. I'm of the mind that behaviour is mostly learned. Women who grow up with lots of brothers and men who grow up with sisters tend to fall more to the center of the behaviour spectrum. I'm also noticing that my daughter's generation is much more androgynous in their behaviour.
I'm somewhat thrown off by the example being one of a woman asking a man to get and do things for her as that seems overwhelmingly to be the male/female dynamic. I'd assume that the man missed the request for dinner because he zoned out at the 'yet again she wants more from me' scenario. lol
We also, then, encounter the learned vs innate debate. I'm of the mind that behaviour is mostly learned. Women who grow up with lots of brothers and men who grow up with sisters tend to fall more to the center of the behaviour spectrum. I'm also noticing that my daughter's generation is much more androgynous in their behaviour.
Overthinking
I love this!
One of my points was that while people own their own personalities and characteristics by virtue of being male, female, product of circumstance, whatever, there is always room for improvement. Dont get me wrong. I like me, I amuse myself but the struggle within needs attention. It needs to be looked at. Discard some things, take traits on that appear desirable. Being aware, and that word and its meaning is one I like very much offers an opportunity to evolve, another favorite word.
Its exciting to change within, re-invent yourself, be pliable. I really cant live with "this is just who I am" I want to accelerate the process understanding that sometimes Im handed a take a number and have a seat ticket. Thats fine, my patience needs work too.
One of my points was that while people own their own personalities and characteristics by virtue of being male, female, product of circumstance, whatever, there is always room for improvement. Dont get me wrong. I like me, I amuse myself but the struggle within needs attention. It needs to be looked at. Discard some things, take traits on that appear desirable. Being aware, and that word and its meaning is one I like very much offers an opportunity to evolve, another favorite word.
Its exciting to change within, re-invent yourself, be pliable. I really cant live with "this is just who I am" I want to accelerate the process understanding that sometimes Im handed a take a number and have a seat ticket. Thats fine, my patience needs work too.
I AM AWESOME MAN
Overthinking
So, don't throw away your emotional self just because you can't reason with it.
I am curious as to how other people reason with their emotional selves.
I am curious as to how other people reason with their emotional selves.
I AM AWESOME MAN
Overthinking
Nomad;1360054 wrote: Its exciting to change within, re-invent yourself, be pliable. I really cant live with "this is just who I am" I want to accelerate the process understanding that sometimes Im handed a take a number and have a seat ticket. Thats fine, my patience needs work too.One of the most fascinating attributes of the human brain is its ability to create and/or adopt any narrative at any given time.
“Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities,â€
Voltaire
I have only one thing to do and that's
Be the wave that I am and then
Sink back into the ocean
Fiona Apple
Voltaire
I have only one thing to do and that's
Be the wave that I am and then
Sink back into the ocean
Fiona Apple
-
Clodhopper
- Posts: 5115
- Joined: Mon Feb 25, 2008 5:11 pm
Overthinking
The way I heard put it was that men think in straight lines and women think in circles. Both valid, but there can be some communication issues.
Hello everyone.
Hello everyone.
The crowd: "Yes! We are all individuals!"
Lone voice: "I'm not."
Lone voice: "I'm not."
Overthinking
Yo Clod, good to see you.
Nomie, you might reflect that struggling is perhaps to have missed the entire point. Have you considered thinking as a way toward your goal, as opposed to actively trying to get there?
Nomie, you might reflect that struggling is perhaps to have missed the entire point. Have you considered thinking as a way toward your goal, as opposed to actively trying to get there?
Nullius in verba ... ☎||||||||||| ... To Fate I sue, of other means bereft, the only refuge for the wretched left.
When flower power came along I stood for Human Rights, marched around for peace and freedom, had some nooky every night - we took it serious.
Who has a spare two minutes to play in this month's FG Trivia game! ... My other OS is Slackware.
When flower power came along I stood for Human Rights, marched around for peace and freedom, had some nooky every night - we took it serious.
Who has a spare two minutes to play in this month's FG Trivia game! ... My other OS is Slackware.
Overthinking
Simply put, men think, women feel.
I thought I knew more than this until I opened my mouth
Overthinking
spot;1360071 wrote: Yo Clod, good to see you.
Nomie, you might reflect that struggling is perhaps to have missed the entire point. Have you considered thinking as a way toward your goal, as opposed to actively trying to get there?
Its all related. Or is this a spockism?
Nomie, you might reflect that struggling is perhaps to have missed the entire point. Have you considered thinking as a way toward your goal, as opposed to actively trying to get there?
Its all related. Or is this a spockism?
I AM AWESOME MAN
Overthinking
Actually Ive made strides merely by getting this issue out in the open. Its forced me to make some decisions regarding actively pursuing a healthy mind and soul. The struggle is part of the solution. Just gotta worm my way through it and come out the other end.
Epiphany.
Epiphany.
I AM AWESOME MAN
Overthinking
I try to view my emotional self as I would a child that I particularly adore. It holds the key to what I desire and what I detest. It may not have a sound basis for loving or hating those things but it doesn't lie. I could try to spare my emotional self from ever feeling pain but that would prevent me from living, just as an overprotective parent does their child an injustice by not letting them climb the monkey bars or jump in a mud puddle. I try to learn from my emotional self and use my logic to create a playground that is reasonably safe but still allows for freedom of exploration and expression.
If my emotional self is unhappy but my logical self insists that the environment is "for the best" then the emotional self retreats and starts self harming. If the emotional self is entirely unchecked it would likely end up in prison. So a balance is required, but like a child/parent relationship, the child will rebel against the parent unless a respectful granting freedom is shown. The emotional self needs to be validated and made to feel important because your feelings are the heart and soul of who you are. In the parent/child analogy, the child is the one with innocence and magic.
If my emotional self is unhappy but my logical self insists that the environment is "for the best" then the emotional self retreats and starts self harming. If the emotional self is entirely unchecked it would likely end up in prison. So a balance is required, but like a child/parent relationship, the child will rebel against the parent unless a respectful granting freedom is shown. The emotional self needs to be validated and made to feel important because your feelings are the heart and soul of who you are. In the parent/child analogy, the child is the one with innocence and magic.
Overthinking
Thank you for this thread. Thinking about what my emotional self is telling me lately (practically screaming, actually) has really helped me to understand something I've been ignoring for my entire "adult" life. A part of me that has been longing to be allowed life but has been stifled because of fear.
Overthinking
koan;1360141 wrote: Thank you for this thread. Thinking about what my emotional self is telling me lately (practically screaming, actually) has really helped me to understand something I've been ignoring for my entire "adult" life. A part of me that has been longing to be allowed life but has been stifled because of fear.
same thing here Koan.
same thing here Koan.
Life is just to short for drama.
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Accountable
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Overthinking
koan;1360140 wrote: I try to view my emotional self as I would a child that I particularly adore. It holds the key to what I desire and what I detest. It may not have a sound basis for loving or hating those things but it doesn't lie.
Koan's unchecked child:
Koan's unchecked child:
Overthinking
koan;1360140 wrote: I try to view my emotional self as I would a child that I particularly adore. It holds the key to what I desire and what I detest. It may not have a sound basis for loving or hating those things but it doesn't lie. I could try to spare my emotional self from ever feeling pain but that would prevent me from living, just as an overprotective parent does their child an injustice by not letting them climb the monkey bars or jump in a mud puddle. I try to learn from my emotional self and use my logic to create a playground that is reasonably safe but still allows for freedom of exploration and expression.
If my emotional self is unhappy but my logical self insists that the environment is "for the best" then the emotional self retreats and starts self harming. If the emotional self is entirely unchecked it would likely end up in prison. So a balance is required, but like a child/parent relationship, the child will rebel against the parent unless a respectful granting freedom is shown. The emotional self needs to be validated and made to feel important because your feelings are the heart and soul of who you are. In the parent/child analogy, the child is the one with innocence and magic.
Brilliant. Perfect.
If my emotional self is unhappy but my logical self insists that the environment is "for the best" then the emotional self retreats and starts self harming. If the emotional self is entirely unchecked it would likely end up in prison. So a balance is required, but like a child/parent relationship, the child will rebel against the parent unless a respectful granting freedom is shown. The emotional self needs to be validated and made to feel important because your feelings are the heart and soul of who you are. In the parent/child analogy, the child is the one with innocence and magic.
Brilliant. Perfect.
I AM AWESOME MAN
Overthinking
Accountable;1360155 wrote: Koan's unchecked child:
Brilliant. Perfect.
Brilliant. Perfect.
I AM AWESOME MAN