Mothers-in-law

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BabyRider
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Mothers-in-law

Post by BabyRider »

This thread was inspired by KayKay. Don't know why I didn't think to post it before...

Over Thanksgiving, I met my mother-in-law to-be. She flew up from Georgia to spend 5 days with us. In our home. (Talk about pressure.) My fiance (Matt) had warned me she was a bit "different". Eccentric, opinionated, sometimes flat-out mean. He had spent 5 years not speaking to her, and after rekindling communication, still had not seen her in 2 years. When she got here, we were left to our own devices as Matt had to go to work. We talked, went out for a drink, made dinner together, and were having a very nice time. After we were a bit more comfortable with each other, she began talking about her religion. She is a Jehovah's Witness, and had raised Matt in this church. He has since left the church for several reasons. Her mission while she was here was to get him "back into the fold". Matt and I had discussed this and decided that neither of us had any interest in pursuing religion in any form. (His church burned him pretty bad. As did mine.) When I became aware of her intentions, I made it very clear to her that I did not appreciate the pressure she would be putting on Matt, and please not do it to him. He's 35, and capable of making these decisions. She immediately became defensive and said it was a mistake to come.

The following day, Thanksgiving, while we were at my mother's, (and she had not said one word to me) Matt came to me and said "She wants to go. I'm taking her to a hotel, and she will be flying back tomorrow." So she left. She has not spoken to Matt since. I feel awful for Matt, even though he says he is fine with it, he's used to it. Now she is in contact with Matt's ex-wife, the two of them having a grand ol' time ripping on him and me. Any thoughts on this from anyone?

And on the lighter side, can anyone beat my record for alienating your mother-in-law in less than 2 days? (haha)
[FONT=Arial Black]I hope you cherish this sweet way of life, and I hope you know that it comes with a price.
~Darrel Worley~
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Bullet's trial was a farce. Can I get an AMEN?????


We won't be punished for our sins, but BY them.




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capt_buzzard
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Mothers-in-law

Post by capt_buzzard »

I once threatened my Mother in Law with abuse. And told her nicely I'd have her committed. :wah: She looked at me with horror in her eyes. :guitarist
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greydeadhead
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Post by greydeadhead »

Well.. as long as he it okay with it. I don't think that this is anything that can be mended in the near future. If she is as devout as you describe her, no matter what he does, it will not be enuff for her. As far as alienating the Mother in Law in 2 days.. nope.. took me 3 to get my Ex's parents to leave.. but that was both of them.. a 2 bagger so to speak...
Feed your spirit by living near it -- Magic Hat Brewery bottle cap
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BabyRider
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Mothers-in-law

Post by BabyRider »

All very sound advice...Grey: I guess technically you would have me beat, right? 2 in 3 days is 1 each day and a half!! :wah:

Purple: If I start getting packages with religious stuff in them, at least I'll have kindling for the fireplace!

Tmbsgrl: It would be really nice if I could have a good relationship with his mom. He has a sister who lives in Pennsylvania, but dosen't see her much either. There may be hope for the two of us at least! It's great that you can talk to his mom. I envy you just the teeniest bit. ;)

Scoupe: I think you're right. She has already alienated her daughter years ago, and Matt is all she has left, so she clings to him like a drowning victim. Matt's not one to respond to "clinginess" real well.

Thanks all, for the tips and support. Hope to hear even more...
[FONT=Arial Black]I hope you cherish this sweet way of life, and I hope you know that it comes with a price.
~Darrel Worley~
[/FONT]










Bullet's trial was a farce. Can I get an AMEN?????


We won't be punished for our sins, but BY them.




Cass
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Mothers-in-law

Post by Cass »

Good thing she lives in Georgia and not down the blook :eek:



Don't worry about it, sounds like Matt has a good head on his shoulders, you are all grown adults and maybe MIL will come around one day to realize he is not a child and she cannot control him.



As for the ex-wife getting cozy with the MIL, that is odd, try not to let it bother you... you really cannot control stuff like that so don't sweat it.
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BabyRider
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Post by BabyRider »

Hey Cassie! I feel more guilty for Matt than for not having a good relationship with my MIL. But, you're right, don't sweat the stuff you can't control. I was glad to hear from you. I thought that after the debate about hunting, you'd never want to talk to me again! I don't want to make ANY enemies here! So, thanks again...
[FONT=Arial Black]I hope you cherish this sweet way of life, and I hope you know that it comes with a price.
~Darrel Worley~
[/FONT]










Bullet's trial was a farce. Can I get an AMEN?????


We won't be punished for our sins, but BY them.




Cass
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Mothers-in-law

Post by Cass »

BabyRider wrote: Hey Cassie! I feel more guilty for Matt than for not having a good relationship with my MIL. But, you're right, don't sweat the stuff you can't control. I was glad to hear from you. I thought that after the debate about hunting, you'd never want to talk to me again! I don't want to make ANY enemies here! So, thanks again... Oh sheesh.. I meant to tell you, I was writing this ginormous post to you. then I got distracted with the phone.. and then I lost it somehow... it was huge and I was so p/o'd - coz you know I put my heart and soul into my big posts ;)



I never have made it back over there to repost... sorry about that, was not ignoring you!
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BabyRider
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Post by BabyRider »

"Ginormous"? That's great...my sister says that all the time. Cracks me up! I just thought you were fed up with me and didn't want to bother anymore!

It is one of the most frustrating things to be in the middle of a long post and lose the whole damn thing! No apologies necessary! ;)
[FONT=Arial Black]I hope you cherish this sweet way of life, and I hope you know that it comes with a price.
~Darrel Worley~
[/FONT]










Bullet's trial was a farce. Can I get an AMEN?????


We won't be punished for our sins, but BY them.




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BabyRider
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Post by BabyRider »

Forgot...the damn thread has 12 pages on it now...sheesh I started a wildfire, huh?
[FONT=Arial Black]I hope you cherish this sweet way of life, and I hope you know that it comes with a price.
~Darrel Worley~
[/FONT]










Bullet's trial was a farce. Can I get an AMEN?????


We won't be punished for our sins, but BY them.




Cass
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Mothers-in-law

Post by Cass »

BabyRider wrote:

It is one of the most frustrating things to be in the middle of a long post and lose the whole damn thing!
yes - it made me Grumpy





I also have the smother-in-la from hell - but I divorcerd her, ermmm .. I mean her Son... (or do I?)
weeder
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Post by weeder »

BabyRider wrote: This thread was inspired by KayKay. Don't know why I didn't think to post it before...

Over Thanksgiving, I met my mother-in-law to-be. She flew up from Georgia to spend 5 days with us. In our home. (Talk about pressure.) My fiance (Matt) had warned me she was a bit "different". Eccentric, opinionated, sometimes flat-out mean. He had spent 5 years not speaking to her, and after rekindling communication, still had not seen her in 2 years. When she got here, we were left to our own devices as Matt had to go to work. We talked, went out for a drink, made dinner together, and were having a very nice time. After we were a bit more comfortable with each other, she began talking about her religion. She is a Jehovah's Witness, and had raised Matt in this church. He has since left the church for several reasons. Her mission while she was here was to get him "back into the fold". Matt and I had discussed this and decided that neither of us had any interest in pursuing religion in any form. (His church burned him pretty bad. As did mine.) When I became aware of her intentions, I made it very clear to her that I did not appreciate the pressure she would be putting on Matt, and please not do it to him. He's 35, and capable of making these decisions. She immediately became defensive and said it was a mistake to come.

The following day, Thanksgiving, while we were at my mother's, (and she had not said one word to me) Matt came to me and said "She wants to go. I'm taking her to a hotel, and she will be flying back tomorrow." So she left. She has not spoken to Matt since. I feel awful for Matt, even though he says he is fine with it, he's used to it. Now she is in contact with Matt's ex-wife, the two of them having a grand ol' time ripping on him and me. Any thoughts on this from anyone?

And on the lighter side, can anyone beat my record for alienating your mother-in-law in less than 2 days? (haha)One of my brother in laws from my former marriage is a Jehovah Witness. I threw him out of my home on a number of ocassions. They are rude, relentless, and avoided by most people. Thankfully you do not live near her. In laws dhould stay in hotels.. if they can afford it. It gives people more privacy. Less altercations. "DONT WORRY ABOUT IT"
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BabyRider
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Post by BabyRider »

Weeder, don't even get me started on Jehovah's Witnesses. What a bunch of whackos! This woman was in MY home preaching on her high-and-mighty soap box and telling me that Matt was going to come back, she knew it, and not only that, he was going to move to Georgia to be with her. She is mentally unbalanced, I'm sure. If anyone is staying with me in my home, I try to be as accomodating as possible. But this was just too much. I have never been as rude to a houseguest as I was to her. And you know what? It dosen't bother me one bit anymore. I was convinced folks here would say I needed to be more understanding, that's her son, blah, blah, blah. So thanks, everyone!

You really know where I'm coming from when it comes to these people, don't you weeder? :wah:
[FONT=Arial Black]I hope you cherish this sweet way of life, and I hope you know that it comes with a price.
~Darrel Worley~
[/FONT]










Bullet's trial was a farce. Can I get an AMEN?????


We won't be punished for our sins, but BY them.




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greydeadhead
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Post by greydeadhead »

Well.. having experienced first hand how convincing they can be.. and over the top.. I was just being polite.. tolerante if you like. But.. I had a friend that I was mentoring while I was stationed in Spain.. he was like 19.. wife was 18.. had a kid.. long story short.. he had to go to sea for 30 days.. temp duty.. came back.. she was converted.. crushed him..literallly.. soo.. I can relate BR.. you handled it perfectly...
Feed your spirit by living near it -- Magic Hat Brewery bottle cap
weeder
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Post by weeder »

Havent you ever lived in a neighborhood where.........." Its a quiet Saturday morning...Thw sun is shining..birds are singing.. people are watering their grass..children are playing on lawns...............A PLAIN UNMARKED WHITE VAN

pulls up.... THE DOORS OPEN.... and THEY get out. dressed like the cast from a 1940s black and white movie.... carrying their version of THE BIBLE. WATCH TOWER. Yheir are men and women on the front cover running from a huge ball of fire that is following them down a cobblestone street. Demons are licking at their feet with huge forked tongues. .....................................................Neighbors look up and see them..... AND THEY RUN... inside to lock their doors and windows.

One sorry sympathetic kind family lets them IN>>>>> to have coffee, and chat.

It is 48 hours later before that couple is ever seen again. They leave their home white and shaken.. Stiff from having been held captive so long...... The children look frightened.. Theyve seen the copy of Watch Tower.... Another sucessful mission complete. Another family frightened to death by their version of RELIGION.

Do you have any idea how brave a woman you are????????? You let her stay for how many days?????? OH yes..... by the way..... THE LITERATURE WILL COME. DOES SHE KNOW YOUR A HUNTER???????????????????????
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LottomagicZ4941
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Post by LottomagicZ4941 »

I have been known to thump the Bible form time to time.

But I don't think I push religion. My Bible says seek and yea shall find.

Jesus did not really care for the more pius religious people. Those people who burned you in the church are probably not on his favorite people list.

The time he most got upset was when people were making money in the temple.

And many Christians would probably consider me a heathen. I like rock and roll as well as a beer or four.

But it does not matter what they think. Only God's opinion will matter on judgement day.

And I am hoping that God has a since of humor.
weeder
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Post by weeder »

I believe in WITNESSING. I witness by being an example. A quiet example.

Threats of fire, brimstone,and floods have never opened spiritual eyes. Not that I know of anyway. Ive made more than my share of mistakes. I hope hes ready to laugh whenever I arrive at wherever it is that I am going also.
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BabyRider
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Post by BabyRider »

Absolutely fantastic! Weeder, you're a riot!!! I think that in "real life", you and I would get along just fine.

I don't think threats of any kind are very effective in any situation. You hit the nail on the head with that one. And whether or not she knows I hunt, I've no idea. An evil little niggling part of me hopes she does, so she can try to rip on me for that. The sanctimonious "holier-than-thou" attitude has always made me nauseous.

*applauding weeder*

Lottomagic: For shame! Rock and Roll AND devil-spirit? You have zero chance of being "saved". Can I explain to you how you can be over a six-pack? :wah:
[FONT=Arial Black]I hope you cherish this sweet way of life, and I hope you know that it comes with a price.
~Darrel Worley~
[/FONT]










Bullet's trial was a farce. Can I get an AMEN?????


We won't be punished for our sins, but BY them.




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valerie
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Post by valerie »

My mother-in-law and I get along pretty well. She can be a bit smothering

(that's probably an understatement!) but on the whole not bad. She has

been very fond of sending me articles about various aspects of my health,

and at one point I went to get a bone-density check to get her to stop

with the osteoporosis warnings! (Due to genetics, exercise, calcium intake

etc. density is excellent!) But she just does it 'cause she loves me and worries

about me so hey, I'll take it over the other way any day!!

Sounds like if I had YOURS, though, I wouldn't be able to cope. So don't

feel bad.
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Paula
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Post by Paula »

Out of Respect, i am good to my MIL, i accept her and listen, even if i don't want to or agree...I do it for the Love of my Husband...You will get more respect yourself if you just let go and let her RANT...It is his MOther, you have to respect your elders, if you don't it will return to haunt you at some point...My MIL is a Pain in The ASS at times too! we don't tell her that?

Same as Val. She is obsessed with health issues...and thinks she will cure me of anything....
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