Divorce

koan · Post by **koan** » Tue Dec 14, 2004 9:49 pm

I like your ending thought. If he files it is his choice. That is just a blame game so you might as well put it in his court cause who cares who is to blame anyway. My daughter still has issues with the divorce but at least she doesn't have to grow up in a loveless home. You can explain divorce but how do explain that it is good to stay with someone who doesn't treat you with respect? Is this what you want your child to learn from you?

koan · Post by **koan** » Tue Dec 14, 2004 10:03 pm

KlatunIckto wrote: ahhh oregon,and chicago,and multiple spouses,hmmm

i see.

There are many things that can be seen if you are looking. Why are you looking in oregon and chicago?

A Karenina · Post by **A Karenina** » Tue Dec 14, 2004 10:42 pm

KlatunIckto wrote: ahhh oregon,and chicago,and multiple spouses,hmmm

i see.What are you saying? I saw the multiple spouse posting, I see 2 of us from Oregon on here (hey there Mary, my neighbor!), I didn't see anything about Chicago.

Be blunt, man, I cannot understand you! LOL.

minks · Post by **minks** » Wed Dec 15, 2004 9:49 am

mary might I suggest going with what is in your heart. you are young and have a good chance of finding another partner, and if you are not afraid of being on your own for some time then go out there girl and do it. You have to think about you and your daughter. If you are suffering emotional abuse (oftentiems just as painful as physical abuse my dear) then likely it is impacting your daughter and will continue to do so for as long as you stay in an abusive marriage. Children are resiliant. And at 4 she will manage just fine. I have to wonder how much time and what quality of time your husband spends with your daughter. Think hard about what the little girl stands to loose? If he plays a minor role in her upbringing then you would be best off raising her yourself. Divorce is not evil. The bible is so wrong when it states it does not accept divorce. Why ruin your life in an abusive relationship.

greydeadhead · Post by **greydeadhead** » Wed Dec 15, 2004 9:58 am

also Mary... children are way more observant than we sometimes give them credit for. Your daughter will know that something is not right, a feeling that could put stress on her. Minks is right.. follow your heart and you will find the correct path.

minks · Post by **minks** » Wed Dec 15, 2004 10:07 am

greydeadhead wrote: also Mary... children are way more observant than we sometimes give them credit for. Your daughter will know that something is not right, a feeling that could put stress on her. Minks is right.. follow your heart and you will find the correct path.

And it may not be the easiest choice at first but in the end it will be the right choice. You really have to weigh the pros and cons. Then act and be confiedent and believe in your choice no matter what, because some times there is no turning back. Hun if you separate and the husband goes for the instant divorce then it is his $ for one and second I think as mentioned in an earlier post, it shows where his thoughts are. He is very close minded if he isn't willing to go for a trial separation. That in it's self tells me he feels he needs to be in control and to some extent that much control is part of emotional abuse. You will be amazed at what you will feel, when you get out from under his control and abuse. There is a better life out there.

Suresh Gupta · Post by **Suresh Gupta** » Wed Dec 15, 2004 8:52 pm

minks wrote: ............Why ruin ..... life in an abusive relationship.

Why and how relationships become abusive?