13 Things Your Waiter Won't Tell You

[RedGlitter]

1. Avoid eating out on holidays and Saturday nights. The sheer volume of customers guarantees that most kitchens will be pushed beyond their ability to produce a high-quality dish.

2. There are almost never any sick days in the restaurant business. A busboy with a kid to support isn't going to stay home and miss out on $100 because he's got strep throat. And these are the people handling your food.

3. When customers' dissatisfaction devolves into personal attacks, adulterating food or drink is a convenient way for servers to exact covert vengeance. Waiters can and do spit in people's food.

4. Never say "I'm friends with the owner." Restaurant owners don't have friends. This marks you as a clueless poseur the moment you walk in the door.

5. Treat others as you want to be treated. (Yes, people need to be reminded of this.)

6. Don't snap your fingers to get our attention. Remember, we have shears that cut through bone in the kitchen.

7. Don't order meals that aren't on the menu. You're forcing the chef to cook something he doesn't make on a regular basis. If he makes the same entrée 10,000 times a month, the odds are good that the dish will be a home run every time.

8. Splitting entrées is okay, but don't ask for water, lemon, and sugar so you can make your own lemonade. What's next, grapes so you can press your own wine?

9. If you find a waiter you like, always ask to be seated in his or her section. Tell all your friends so they'll start asking for that server as well. You've just made that waiter look indispensable to the owner. The server will be grateful and take good care of you.

10. If you can't afford to leave a tip, you can't afford to eat in the restaurant. Servers could be giving 20 to 40 percent to the busboys, bartenders, maître d', or hostess.

11. Always examine the check. Sometimes large parties are unaware that a gratuity has been added to the bill, so they tip on top of it. Waiters "facilitate" this error. It's dishonest, it's wrong-and I did it all the time.

12. If you want to hang out, that's fine. But increase the tip to make up for money the server would have made if he or she had had another seating at that table.

13. Never, ever come in 15 minutes before closing time. The cooks are tired and will cook your dinner right away. So while you're chitchatting over salads, your entrées will be languishing under the heat lamp while the dishwasher is spraying industrial-strength, carcinogenic cleaning solvents in their immediate vicinity.

[Lon]

I would add-------don't order fish on Monday Tues or Wed nights. Most places get their fresh fish in on Thursday morning (at least in this area).The Monday night specials are pretty old

[Queen_of_Hearts]

That's a real handy list. Thanks!

[AussiePam]

Gosh, Red Glitter - I'm sorry you all have to put up with stuff like that. Emigrate immediately. :sneaky:

[qsducks]

#3 - I've seen it done and it is gross, but to put up with a pita customer is a real bummer. And in the end, they always tip lower.

[Clint]

Excellent list.

Most resaurants are running on the edge. Some make it big but many are a week of bad business away from closing their doors. I owned one once and remember knowing how most of the employees were struggling financially. I used to spend hours trying to figure a way to give them more. It just wasn't possible when I was often paying them without getting a payday myself.

If people don't tip it hurts. It hurts financially and it hurts feelings. Red is right. If you can't afford to tip, you can't afford to be in a restaurant. Most people will give to organizations that help people who are already getting government help. Think of tipping as a way to help someone who probably really needs it and is willing to work to get it.