A Diva in the Office

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along-for-the-ride
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A Diva in the Office

Post by along-for-the-ride »

I am posting this thread to see if there are others who work in a small office situation with a person like this....

She is attractive; she flirts; she is tempermental; she holds court (sitting at her desk chatting with fellow employees, mostly male); she comes to work when she pleases and leaves when she pleases, she is the first to remark about another employees error: she has to be involved in any project (like an office party--in another office);she addresses employees as "baby" and for awhile called our boss (male) "shugee"; she'll jump in and do extra work, then complain that everyone comes to "her" all the time; she is never just hungry or cold---she is "freezing" or "starving to death"; she enjoys showing off any new jewelry or clothes she (or her husband) has bought her. She is something else. I write this with some amusement.

"A big fish in a little pond" comes to mind here.

At first her behavior bothered me, but now that I have seen how she is and have worked with her for several years, I have gotten used to it and just do my job. She is not my boss, so she knows not to get bossy with me. I am cordial with her, but we will never be best friends.

Sometimes, I almost feel sorry for her.
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along-for-the-ride
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Post by along-for-the-ride »

along-for-the-ride wrote: I am posting this thread to see if there are others who work in a small office situation with a person like this....

She is attractive; she flirts; she is tempermental; she holds court (sitting at her desk chatting with fellow employees, mostly male); she comes to work when she pleases and leaves when she pleases, she is the first to remark about another employees error: she has to be involved in any project (like an office party--in another office);she addresses employees as "baby" and for awhile called our boss (male) "shugee"; she'll jump in and do extra work, then complain that everyone comes to "her" all the time; she is never just hungry or cold---she is "freezing" or "starving to death"; she enjoys showing off any new jewelry or clothes she (or her husband) has bought her. She is something else. I write this with some amusement.

"A big fish in a little pond" comes to mind here.

At first her behavior bothered me, but now that I have seen how she is and have worked with her for several years, I have gotten used to it and just do my job. She is not my boss, so she knows not to get bossy with me. I am cordial with her, but we will never be best friends.

Sometimes, I almost feel sorry for her.


I posted this to show how teamwork in the office can be undermined by an employee with a big ego. Everyone has their own personalities and I respect that. But while you are on company time and in a small office atmosphere ....well? What do you all think?
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Clint
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Post by Clint »

along-for-the-ride wrote: I posted this to show how teamwork in the office can be undermined by an employee with a big ego. Everyone has their own personalities and I respect that. But while you are on company time and in a small office atmosphere ....well? What do you all think?
Yup, no doubt about it, she’s a clone. I know her by a couple of other names. She can be the poison that destroys a team but somehow she will survive and probably get a raise in pay.
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minks
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Post by minks »

Clint wrote: Yup, no doubt about it, she’s a clone. I know her by a couple of other names. She can be the poison that destroys a team but somehow she will survive and probably get a raise in pay.


yes a raise based on her performance ahahahahahaha

Best advise work along side her but don't encourage your paths to cross. She will get hers at some point in time. I can't believe she is allowed to talk like that mind you, that is just 100% totally unprofessional.
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LottomagicZ4941
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Post by LottomagicZ4941 »

I use to have a co-worker who would flirt and was very attractive.

She dated an abusive guy and when they got engaged the mass majority of us proposed to her.

We did get her to realize that she could do better.

Remember one time she was sitting on my supervisors lap who was twice her age.

There may be some past abuse involved with her behavior.

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minks
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Post by minks »

LottomagicZ4941 wrote: I use to have a co-worker who would flirt and was very attractive.

She dated an abusive guy and when they got engaged the mass majority of us proposed to her.

We did get her to realize that she could do better.

Remember one time she was sitting on my supervisors lap who was twice her age.

There may be some past abuse involved with her behavior.

Lotto

http://www.flalottomagic.net/cgi-local/ ... elcome-344

MagicZ4941A


Oiy no let's hope not for her sake. I suppose for girls/women that could be true and that is the kind of resulting behavior.

You know abuse is something I really really get worked up about. I honestly can not fathom the mind set of an abuser. Just sickens me.
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along-for-the-ride
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Post by along-for-the-ride »

minks wrote: yes a raise based on her performance ahahahahahaha

Best advise work along side her but don't encourage your paths to cross. She will get hers at some point in time. I can't believe she is allowed to talk like that mind you, that is just 100% totally unprofessional.


Yeah, minks. The very first time I heard her call our boss "SHUGEE" and he allowed it, I thought " Uh-oh..this is not good." Nobody else in the office calls our boss by any nickname, not even the lady who has worked there over twenty years. The problem is the boss,by his behavior, thinks she (the diva) can do no wrong. This obviously provokes an air of hostility and resentment at times.

I keep waiting for her "to get hers" sometime. ;)
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Clint
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Post by Clint »

along-for-the-ride wrote: Yeah, minks. The very first time I heard her call our boss "SHUGEE" and he allowed it, I thought " Uh-oh..this is not good." Nobody else in the office calls our boss by any nickname, not even the lady who has worked there over twenty years. The problem is the boss,by his behavior, thinks she (the diva) can do no wrong. This obviously provokes an air of hostility and resentment at times.

I keep waiting for her "to get hers" sometime. ;)
Maybe you could conspire with a few other folks and all of you call him "Shugee".
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weeder
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Post by weeder »

She wont be there long..........
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Clint
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Post by Clint »

weeder wrote: She wont be there long..........
I'm sure you are right. Wouldn't it be a fun way to go out though?
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Post by along-for-the-ride »

And now, the continuing saga of...(organ music please)....THE DIVA IN THE OFFICE.

I have been employed with the company almost fourteen years. She has been there almost ten. She "ain't goin' no where". She knows she has it made.

One week she'll make a comment to the effect that she isn't buying any more jewelry because you "can't take it with you " when you die. The next week she is buying more jewelry. She tells people that she is always upfront to people and never talks about them behind their back. Yeah, right! I've heard her do it lots of times. That is why I don't trust her.

Because we have to work together eight hours a day and the boss condones her behavior (eeeeeeewwwwwwww she's so cute), I try to get along with her. I treat her with common courtesy, but I do not fawn all over her like some of the male and female co-workers do. (eeeeeeeewwwwwwww yucky).



My job performance is not effected by her presence. I like my job and always try to do my best. Most of the time, I am busy and just tune her out........or pretend to.

I wish I could find that coffee mug I saw somewhere that said, "I am so blessed to have such charming co-workers......" ;)
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smithy87
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Post by smithy87 »

People like that who have to make their presence known because usually they are insecure. My old line manager used to be like that (only not attractive) and she had the loudest mouth you've ever heard. She had to be centre of attention all the time and if she wasn't, she tried her hardest until she succeeded. At first it used to bother me but after 4 yrs I got used to it. But I always smiled when she met someone new and you could see they were thinking 'What the hell.........?'

Eventually, I pitied her
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Post by along-for-the-ride »

smithy87 wrote: People like that who have to make their presence known because usually they are insecure. My old line manager used to be like that (only not attractive) and she had the loudest mouth you've ever heard. She had to be centre of attention all the time and if she wasn't, she tried her hardest until she succeeded. At first it used to bother me but after 4 yrs I got used to it. But I always smiled when she met someone new and you could see they were thinking 'What the hell.........?'

Eventually, I pitied her


You described her well, smithy. She does indeed like to be the center of attention. Before I got to know her, this did bother me and she had the capacity at that time to hurt my feelings. But, alas, now that I have seen how she is, I have gotten used to her behavior and she doesn't phase me anymore. She is a character! :wah:
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Post by along-for-the-ride »

The "diva's" behavior in the office has not changed and my boss's regard for her has not. I have seen him caress the back of her neck with his fingers or rub her back...in the office. Uncomfortable for me to see.

The part that bothers me most is overtime pay and she is involved. She gets to come to work anytime she feels like it and make overtime. I can work 41 hours in a given week, and my time is knock dwon to 40. When I clock in, I go right to work. If I have to leave for awhile on personal business, I clock out and clock back in when I get back......okay with my boss.

I did address this time cut to my boss this morning ( I did not mention the diva) and he had the nerve to ask me what my scheduled time is supposed to be (he already knows this) and maybe I was clocking in too soon. Then he mentioned the budget and how overtime is being cut down and out. Now, he also knows the diva has worked a 50 plus hour/week. So nothing was resolved during this meeting with the boss.

I know I am a good employee and have worked there longer than the diva has. I do my work and more. I still like my job in personnel.

I am seeing the ladies in the office as us versus the diva. The other ladies agree and have suggested us all going to see the boss together about this overtime issue.(Their time is also changed) But I see this as usless because anything that can make the diva appear to be persecuted..will just endear her more in his eyes.

She is so obviuosly our boss's "friend."

I am so looking forword to the day when she is put in her place by someone in authority at work.

I am not a sneaky or under-handed type of person..except for venting on this post. And I thank you all for taking the time to read it.

I guess this was one of those days that I felt down. I do talk with my hubby, but ofcourse it is hard for him to be objective.
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Clint
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Post by Clint »

along-for-the-ride;758514 wrote: The "diva's" behavior in the office has not changed and my boss's regard for her has not. I have seen him caress the back of her neck with his fingers or rub her back...in the office. Uncomfortable for me to see.

The part that bothers me most is overtime pay and she is involved. She gets to come to work anytime she feels like it and make overtime. I can work 41 hours in a given week, and my time is knock dwon to 40. When I clock in, I go right to work. If I have to leave for awhile on personal business, I clock out and clock back in when I get back......okay with my boss.

I did address this time cut to my boss this morning ( I did not mention the diva) and he had the nerve to ask me what my scheduled time is supposed to be (he already knows this) and maybe I was clocking in too soon. Then he mentioned the budget and how overtime is being cut down and out. Now, he also knows the diva has worked a 50 plus hour/week. So nothing was resolved during this meeting with the boss.

I know I am a good employee and have worked there longer than the diva has. I do my work and more. I still like my job in personnel.

I am seeing the ladies in the office as us versus the diva. The other ladies agree and have suggested us all going to see the boss together about this overtime issue.(Their time is also changed) But I see this as usless because anything that can make the diva appear to be persecuted..will just endear her more in his eyes.

She is so obviuosly our boss's "friend."

I am so looking forword to the day when she is put in her place by someone in authority at work.

I am not a sneaky or under-handed type of person..except for venting on this post. And I thank you all for taking the time to read it.

I guess this was one of those days that I felt down. I do talk with my hubby, but ofcourse it is hard for him to be objective.


It's sad to hear this is still going on. It sure wears on you when things aren't going well at work. Sorry you are having to put up with this.

Is your boss at the top of the organization or is there someone to go to above him? Does the company you work for have an HR department where you can discuss your concerns? Are you in the union with a Shop Steward or Buisiness Agent to discuss this with? In discussing it with any of them I would insist on confidentiality.
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Post by gpthomlinson »

along-for-the-ride;45054 wrote: And now, the continuing saga of...(organ music please)..... She tells people that she is always upfront to people and never talks about them behind their back. Yeah, right! I've heard her do it lots of times. That is why I don't trust her....


Wait for her to tell you something really juicy (but not not too hurtful) about someone, and then go that someone and say "Oh, by the way [Diva] told me that.... etc"

If the Diva ever comes back to you on this, simply say that you know she never talks about anyone behgind their backs, so you were just discussing something you assumed everybody knew.

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along-for-the-ride
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Post by along-for-the-ride »

:wah:

Thanks for your replies.

Clint, I work in the HR department at work. The boss is the manager. I have seen what happens to employees who complain to the Labor Board. It's not pretty. We do have a president of the company...but I wouldn't go to him if my life depended on it. I'm glad I don't work under him.

As for the relationship between the diva and I, I try to keep it strictly professional. As long as she is courteous to me, I will be courteous to her.

One thing she wants is a new desk and she has asked me to go to the Office Depot store to pick one up with her or pick one out of an office supply catalog. (boss approved, ofcourse.) I say thanks. but no thanks. I am not interested in getting a new desk...and I don't care if she gets one or not. She still hasn't got one yet. Now, our office needs alot of upgrades and repairs (paint job, new file cabinets, new flooring). Why the heck would I want to get a new desk? The desk I have suits me just fine.
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Clint
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Post by Clint »

:wah: I assume you've talked to yourself about this.

Good HR professionals don't have too much trouble changing jobs. It sounds like you might be happier out of that situation.

Hope it all works out well for you.:-6
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Post by mikeinie »

As a manager of an office I can confirm that there are those who so obviously play up to managers. If you manager is any good he should see through this. There is one woman who works for me who I always seem to have a view of her cleavage, it doesn’t work with me. She tries to get away with stuff (time keeping) and probably in the eyes of the department they think she does get away with it, but that is because I do not discuss disciplinary conversation openly with other staff members, so they do not see what is being done about it, they only see her behaviour.

I would be concerned if he is openly rubbing her neck and showing open favouritism, this is a weakness in his management skills.

Managing a group of people though is interesting; there is no one golden rule. You need incorporate people’s personality and adapt how you manage the individual to get the best out of each individual while still being consistent in the management and execution of you operating policies.

It is hard not to have a ‘favourite’ or maybe even a couple of them, and true it would be based on a combination of quality of work, reliability and also just on how well you get along with a person. There are probably some staff in my dept that get somewhat overlooked (or they feel they are over looked), they do a great job and all and they are managed, but as individuals I just get on better with others than some of them. You just keep everyone happy all the time.

Based on what you say though, your manager is at risk of loosing the respect of his department and thus also authority as he cannot be inconsistent with his management practices with his staff.

You have a right to challenge his inconsistent policies, but based on his implementation of policies and not based on his relationship with the ‘diva’.
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Post by along-for-the-ride »

Thanks again for your responses. Your comments do mean alot to me. I just got home from work.

About my boss...He is fair...except when it comes to the diva. Some of us other ladies in the office suspect here lately that she has even gotten a promotion ( a change in job title that would allow for overtime), but that this promotion has not been "announced" to the rest of us.

He has always been respectful to me. He does not raise his voice and is usually easy-going. He is one of the "good ole boys" at work.

He and the diva are around the same age. The relationship has obviously gone past "professional" as they confide in one another. I get this from some of the things I've heard her say. She is obviously more to him than just an another employee in the office.

I would be happy for any success the diva would achieve if she wasn't so haughty about it. Her disdain for "rest of us" in the office shows sometimes when her charm and charisma slip.

Our office is small..so these kinds of things just show up more and do not exactly boost morale.

I am not quitting my job....................especially because of her behavior.:)
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Post by Nomad »

Putting out wouldnt necessarily make you a bad person.
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Post by along-for-the-ride »

Nomad;760001 wrote: Putting out wouldnt necessarily make you a bad person.


:wah:

I do "put out" to a fellow employee......................my husband.;)
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Post by along-for-the-ride »

The diva has left the building. This is the end of an era........atleast at the company where I am employed. She has quit and moved to another state to be with her family. I do sincerely wish her all the best. And I am sincerely glad she has gone.

We did have the farewell dinner for her. We gave her a scrapbook filled with photos and pictures from our company. She received a plaque from the boss and letters of reference if she decides to seek employment elsewhere. The boss gave a short speech on how exemplary an employee she was while the rest of us listened in "respectful" :rolleyes: silence.

The office is quiet now, still busy...............but quiet.

"She may have been a headache........but she never was a bore." ;)
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Post by Nomad »

Im a diva.
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along-for-the-ride
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Post by along-for-the-ride »

Nomad;940065 wrote: Im a diva.


:wah: A headache, but never a bore.
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Post by cars »

The Pink-Paradise, put up a parking lot! :wah:
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