A Riddle

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Mark Aspam
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Post by Mark Aspam »

This forum has lain fallow for so long, I've decided to revive it with a harmless little riddle. Think about it through the weekend and I'll give the answer next week if no one else gives it first.

Here's the riddle:

How do we know for sure that Adam and Eve were Jewish?
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Post by AussiePam »

Mark Aspam;1305304 wrote: This forum has lain fallow for so long, I've decided to revive it with a harmless little riddle. Think about it through the weekend and I'll give the answer next week if no one else gives it first.

Here's the riddle:

How do we know for sure that Adam and Eve were Jewish?


Haven't a clue, oi veh.. but in my research, I found this rather neat joke

-----------------------------------------

One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God.

"Lord, I have a problem!"

"What's the problem, Eve?"

"Lord, I know you created me and provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals and that hilarious comedic snake, but I'm just not happy."

"Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above.

"Lord, I am lonely, and I'm sick to death of apples."

"Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you."

"What's a man, Lord?"

"This man will be a flawed creature, with many bad traits. He'll lie, cheat, and be vain; all in all, he'll give you a hard time. But he'll be bigger, faster, and will like to hunt and kill things. He will look silly when he's aroused, but since you've been complaining, I'll create him in such a way that he will satisfy your physical needs. He will be witless and will revel in childish things like fighting and kicking a ball about. He won't be too smart, so he'll also need your advice to think properly."

"Sounds great." says Eve, with an ironically raised eyebrow. What's the catch, Lord?"

"Well ... you can have him on one condition."

"What's that, Lord?"

"As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant, and self-admiring ... So you'll have to let him believe that I made him first. Just remember, it's our little secret...

"You know, woman to woman."

MarkThiSpot.com 4 Hilarious Adam & Eve Jokes!
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Post by buttercup »

All Jews are Israelites but not all Israelites are Jews.

All are Hebrews, but only the descendants of Judah are Jews.

Does that help :wah:
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Post by spot »

Mark Aspam;1305304 wrote: Here's the riddle:

How do we know for sure that Adam and Eve were Jewish?I'm trying to think of a single thing that either Adam or Eve ever did which conformed with any aspect of Judaism. So far I've failed.

Riddle. noun. A question or statement intentionally worded in a dark or puzzling manner, and propounded in order that it may be guessed or answered.
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Post by hoppy »

Was Adam circumcised?
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Post by Glaswegian »

Mark Aspam;1305304 wrote: How do we know for sure that Adam and Eve were Jewish?
Because their last name was Finkelstein.
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Post by spot »

Glaswegian;1305343 wrote: Because their last name was Finkelstein.


No no no - that would make it a joke. It's a riddle.
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Post by Snowfire »

The first is in apple but not in Eve

The second is in Adam, I do believe.....

Is that the sort of thing ?
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Post by spot »

By Jove, I think he's got it. Press on man, strike while the thingy's still glowing.
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Post by flopstock »

hoppy;1305340 wrote: Was Adam circumcised?


I don't know. Was eves last name bobbit?
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Post by spot »

flopstock;1305360 wrote: I don't know. Was eves last name bobbit?Of course Adam wasn't circumcised. Neither was he Jewish, come to that.

All of humankind descends from the three sons of Noah. They made a collective worldwide covenant with God but it didn't include circumcision. [1]

All Jews descend from Abraham. He made a collective agreement for all of his male descendants to be circumcised. They and the female descendants were all Jewish.

It's why I'm rather wondering what this riddle's about since on first glance the answer's obvious.





[1] - From a bible-literalist point of view, of course. I'm not sure how else one can discuss "Adam and Eve". In mitigation, it's not a point of view I necessarily advocate.
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Post by Mark Aspam »

spot;1305361 wrote: It's why I'm rather wondering what this riddle's about since on first glance the answer's obvious.Wow! Some people are taking this much too seriously!

I guess I'd better give the answer now.

The answer, which is, as might be expected, a question, is:

"Who else would say, 'Take a piece of fruit.'?"
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Post by spot »

Mark Aspam;1305369 wrote: "Who else would say, 'Take a piece of fruit.'?"


I may regret asking, but perhaps you could explain the relevance of that to the opening post.
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Post by Ahso! »

At first I thought he jumped the gun by wanting to provide the answer. After all, people were just having fun and not taking it too seriously. But after reading the answer, its probably good he ended it early because I could envision a lynching party after a weekend of figuring this out to only be left with this answer.:wah:
“Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities,”

Voltaire



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Be the wave that I am and then

Sink back into the ocean

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Post by spot »

Either I'm entirely up a blind alley or the answer appears to suggest that Jewishness can be detected by a frugivore tendency. I do hope I'm wrong.

Author?
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Post by Ahso! »

I don't know! Perhaps if you envision Billy Chrystal saying it. But still!

Not a riddle in my book.
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Post by spot »

Ahso!;1305376 wrote: I don't know! Perhaps if you envision Billy Chrystal saying it. But still! Billy Chrystal is a name entirely unknown to me. I accept full blame for this, I don't get out much.

I've heard various stereotyping slanders of Jewry in my time but being diet-conscious is a new one. I'm sure I must have entirely misunderstood the thread so far.
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Post by theia »

I understood it to be a fun thread. Didn't we used to have a similar one on riddles? I'm sure Abby started it...?
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Post by spot »

theia;1305393 wrote: I understood it to be a fun thread. Didn't we used to have a similar one on riddles? I'm sure Abby started it...?


I bet it wasn't in ForumGarden > Religions & Beliefs > Judaism though.

It may be that this is actually a fun thread rather than a stereotyping slander of Jewry thread but only if I've failed to grasp the meaning. That's why I've asked for an explanation of the "punch line".
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Post by Mark Aspam »

spot;1305375 wrote: Either I'm entirely up a blind alley or the answer appears to suggest that Jewishness can be detected by a frugivore tendency. I do hope I'm wrong.

Author?The author is the late comedienne Edith Seaman, who was known professionally as Betty Walker.
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Post by spot »

Mark Aspam;1305404 wrote: The author is the late comedienne Edith Seaman, who was known professionally as Betty Walker.


I do apologize, I assumed you'd thought it up yourself. By "Author" I was inviting you to provide a meaning, that's all.

Meanwhile I'll go exploring for your comedienne.
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Post by theia »

spot;1305399 wrote: I bet it wasn't in ForumGarden > Religions & Beliefs > Judaism though.

It may be that this is actually a fun thread rather than a stereotyping slander of Jewry thread but only if I've failed to grasp the meaning. That's why I've asked for an explanation of the "punch line".


That shows how often I notice which forum I'm in :o
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Post by Bruv »

It is the stereotypical Jewish reply to the request to "Take an apple"

Meaning a Jew would have thought it was sellable.
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Post by spot »

Bruv;1305408 wrote: It is the stereotypical Jewish reply to the request to "Take an apple"

Meaning a Jew would have thought it was sellable.


Seriously, I can't see any meaning at all at the moment. I'm missing the context perhaps.Q: How do we know for sure that Adam and Eve were Jewish?

A: Who else would say, 'Take a piece of fruit.'?Jewish people never go anywhere without ensuring they have some food with them? They're throwing us out of Eden, quick grab an apple while you still can? Eve, nobody's watching, steal it before He comes back?

I was told once by the Editor of the London Evening Standard that if I had to ask why a cartoon was funny then I should just let it rest because I had the problem, not the cartoon. Failing to take his advice, I'd honestly like to know the reason this 'Take a piece of fruit' might raise a laugh. I'd also quite like to know Betty Walker's version because I'm damn sure it wasn't as presented here.
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Post by ZAP »

I found reference to it here:

THE JEWISH JOKES OF The jewish jokes and humour (humor) of awordinyoureye.com

#528

528) It’s obvious

Young Morris asked his father, "Dad, was Adam Jewish?"

His father put down his newspaper and thought for a moment. He was an expert at Talmudic reasoning and in the art of making a point by an unanswerable question.

He replied, "If we can determine that Eve was Jewish, my son, we would at once see that Adam was Jewish, for who but a Jew could bring himself to marry a Jewish girl?" (Here he turned his head a bit nervously to make sure his wife wasn't listening.)

"Therefore, we can drop the Adam problem and instead ask ourselves, "Was Eve Jewish?"

"To answer that, we have only to ask the question, "Would anyone but a Jewish girl say, 'Here, have a piece of fruit'?"



Is it a sexual joke? I'm still researching it.
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Post by Mark Aspam »

Zapata;1305416 wrote: "If we can determine that Eve was Jewish, my son, we would at once see that Adam was Jewish, for who but a Jew could bring himself to marry a Jewish girl?" (Here he turned his head a bit nervously to make sure his wife wasn't listening.) Well, now I'm the one who's offended, because I'm not a Jew, and I'm very happily married to a Jewish girl.

Spot's reaction reminds me of the old Roger Ramjet cartoon show. Roger's favorite comedian was Pinky Finger (based on real-life comic Jack E. Leonard), and every time Pinky would tell a joke, Roger would laugh and then say to himself, "I don't get it."
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Post by buttercup »

So its not a riddle, its a joke?
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Post by ZAP »

:)

Ok, I'll admit it. I'm blonde but I usually get the blonde jokes. (Must be the redheaded side of me) So what does this joke mean to you, Mark?
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Post by Mark Aspam »

Zapata;1305423 wrote: :)

Ok, I'll admit it. I'm blonde but I usually get the blonde jokes. (Must be the redheaded side of me) So what does this joke mean to you, Mark?It was just an attempt to wake up a sleeping forum. I never imagined that anyone would be offended - or perplexed.
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Post by YZGI »

Mark Aspam;1305420 wrote: Well, now I'm the one who's offended, because I'm not a Jew, and I'm very happily married to a Jewish girl.



Spot's reaction reminds me of the old Roger Ramjet cartoon show. Roger's favorite comedian was Pinky Finger (based on real-life comic Jack E. Leonard), and every time Pinky would tell a joke, Roger would laugh and then say to himself, "I don't get it."
Now you know how the jews feel..:yh_rotfl
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Post by buttercup »

Mark Aspam;1305424 wrote: It was just an attempt to wake up a sleeping forum. I never imagined that anyone would be offended - or perplexed.


Sleeping forum? Have you found other general forums that are more active?

If you want to stir folks up go for something controversial, abortion & homosexuality usually get a big reaction from the newer members. ;)
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Post by flopstock »

theia;1305393 wrote: I understood it to be a fun thread. Didn't we used to have a similar one on riddles? I'm sure Abby started it...?
I agree completely. Most trouble can be traced back to Abbey one way or another...:sneaky::p
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Post by theia »

flopstock;1305455 wrote: I agree completely. Most trouble can be traced back to Abbey one way or another...:sneaky::p


Well, I didn't like to say that about Abbey, Floppy, but it's what I was thinking :sneaky:
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Post by along-for-the-ride »

Mark Aspam;1305304 wrote: This forum has lain fallow for so long, I've decided to revive it with a harmless little riddle. Think about it through the weekend and I'll give the answer next week if no one else gives it first.

Here's the riddle:

How do we know for sure that Adam and Eve were Jewish?




fal·low (fl)

adj.

1. Plowed but left unseeded during a growing season: fallow farmland.

2. Characterized by inactivity: a fallow gold market.

I do appreciate your analogy, Mark. But this Garden has not been lain fallow. If you really stroll through the garden you will notice many seeds of thought planted here. It is true that some seeds are flourishing more than others, but that's because these seeds get more sunlight and rain. ;)
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Post by Mark Aspam »

along-for-the-ride;1305529 wrote: fal·low (fl)

adj.

1. Plowed but left unseeded during a growing season: fallow farmland.

2. Characterized by inactivity: a fallow gold market.

I do appreciate your analogy, Mark. But this Garden has not been lain fallow. If you really stroll through the garden you will notice many seeds of thought planted here. It is true that some seeds are flourishing more than others, but that's because these seeds get more sunlight and rain. ;)I was referring to this specific forum. Prior to my opening post, the last contribution here was nearly a year ago.

Your own analogies remind me of the young man who sowed his wild oats on Saturday nights and then went to church on Sunday morning to pray for a crop failure.
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Post by theia »

Mark Aspam;1305543 wrote: I was referring to this specific forum. Prior to my opening post, the last contribution here was nearly a year ago.Your own analogies remind me of the young man who sowed his wild oats on Saturday nights and then went to church on Sunday morning to pray for a crop failure.


Fair point, Mark...I too was thinking you meant FG as a whole...apologies :-6
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Post by spot »

crikeymoses;1305548 wrote: I wouldn't have guessed the answer but I laughed when I read it. It's a yiddishe mama joke? Err...riddle?


At last, a volunteer to explain why it's funny.

Go for it. I have at the moment absolutely not the first inkling of a clue.
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Post by Mark Aspam »

crikeymoses;1305562 wrote: The jewish mother stereotype - I'm not jewish but I get it - features (fondly) in jewish humour: kind of smotheringly overbearingly needing to feed family and visitors. Hence the punchline? Anyway, that's wot I fink.Thank you Moshe!

spot, if you still don't get it, here's the best I can do - the entire Betty Walker routine, transcribed word-for-word from the record:

Betty is on the phone with her friend Ceil, and her husband Warren is sick in bed down the hall.

(Off mike) "Warren! Sweetheart! If the vaporizer's choking you, turn it off!"

(To Ceil) "I can't imagine how this man would carry on if he was ever pregnant. Nature knew what she was doing when she handed out the roles!"

(Off mike) "What do you want, Warren, dear?"

(To Ceil) "Hello Ceil? He wants me to tell you a joke. You have to ask me why I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that Adam and Eve were Jewish. Hold on!"

(Off mike) "Wait a minute Warren. I'll tell you if she laughed in a minute!"

(To Ceil) "Ask me.......The reason Adam and Eve were definitely Jewish is: Who else says, 'Take a piece of fruit!.' "

(Off mike) "Warren, she's not laughing!"
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Post by spot »

Take it from me that's not Jewish humour, that's American humour. I can tell them apart quite easily. American humour invariably relies on cruelty and makes me wince.
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Post by ZAP »

Thanks for the riddle/joke Mark and for giving me something to wonder about. I'm always grateful for facts to add to my Jeopardy & Trivial Pursuit storehouse. I've spent the last two hours researching this, including Betty Walker, (well I took time out to make an apricot streusel because reading about all that food inspired me) I found a basis for the phrase, perhaps, in a Jewish ritual for Summer Solstice:

Summer Solstice 2004/1 Tammuz 5764 | telshemesh.org
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Post by Mark Aspam »

Zapata;1305582 wrote: Thanks for the riddle/joke Mark and for giving me something to wonder about. I'm always grateful for facts to add to my Jeopardy & Trivial Pursuit storehouse. I've spent the last two hours researching this, including Betty Walker, (well I took time out to make an apricot streusel because reading about all that food inspired me) I found a basis for the phrase, perhaps, in a Jewish ritual for Summer Solstice:

Summer Solstice 2004/1 Tammuz 5764 | telshemesh.orgThank you, Zap, for the great link!

By the way, if you visited Betty Walker's Wikipedia listing, the comment on the discussion page ("A very clever and funny lady...") was from me.
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Post by ZAP »

Mark Aspam;1305586 wrote: Thank you, Zap, for the great link!

By the way, if you visited Betty Walker's Wikipedia listing, the comment on the discussion page ("A very clever and funny lady...") was from me.


COOL! I saw that! And she must have been that, what you said. I've been trying to think if I ever saw her or film clips about her. If her style was anything like Gilda Radner's I would have loved her.
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Post by Mark Aspam »

Zapata;1305588 wrote: COOL! I saw that! And she must have been that, what you said. I've been trying to think if I ever saw her or film clips about her. If her style was anything like Gilda Radner's I would have loved her.Unfortunately, this is the only example of Betty Walker's delivery I've been able to find online:

YouTube - Jewish Mother

...but I have to warn you, she didn't write it, and it's way, WAY "over the top", which her own material definitely was not.

So listen at your own risk!
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Post by ZAP »

That is hilarious! It reminds me of Mrs. Tombofski who used to call me every afternoon, just after I'd put my 1 year old down for a nap, because she was lonely. Sounds just like her. :wah:
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Post by Royd Fissure »

Jewish jokes are an art form. Sometimes I "get" them, sometimes I have to have them explained to me but most of the time I understand them and the cultural influences that helped create them. Do they make non-Jews uncomfortable I wonder? I don't mean the obviously racist jokes that play on historical stereotypes, I mean the beautifully subversive jokes that Jews make about Jews.

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