1. Grass is crispy and crunches like corn flakes when you walk on it.
2. Things really do spontaniously combust
3. Watermelons will explode
4. Going outside is like sucking swamp water through a straw
5. Weeds will flourish when all else dies.
6. Too much heat and too little liquid makes you feel drunk and cold. And not in a good way.
7. There are no mosquitos
8. The few mosquitos that there are will puff into smoke from flapping their little wings. (j/k)
9. Weird little critters will try to get into your house. Critters even the dogs are afraid of.
10. You can sweat so much you don't have to pee
11. How can one body sweat so much??? :-5
12. The inside of a car, after sitting in the sun for eight-ten hours, never cools off.
13. Leather sucks in the summer. Literally, sucks off your skin. OOWWWW!
14. Asphalt gets squishy.
15. Even concrete is too hot to walk on barefooted.
16. You can save on the water heater bill as there is no cold water in the taps. Even the dogs won't drink from the taps.
17. Putting ice blocks in the dogs water outside is futile, it melts before you get back in the house.
18. I'm HOT! But not the way Paris says it
19. You have to sleep with four fans and the air conditioner and no covers.
20. The door handles into the house are slimey.
21. I hate the sun
22. My very soul misses thunderstorms.
23. I don't want to move. . . at all.
24. Alas, Alaska. . . . . . . :yh_drool
