Help Write a Novel

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Lon
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Post by Lon »

I have started the begining of a novel and would like to see anyone in FG with an interest in writing, contribute. When the novel is completed, I will take all of the advance money from the publisher, and 35% of the residuals. The other 65% will be shared in proportion to the FG members contribution to the novel, percentage wise.

Here is the main plot of the novel. Frank, a married exec with a family is diagnosed with a terminal illness, giving him less than two years to live. He decides to become a HIT MAN, without his family knowing it. He was unable to buy additional life insurance due to his illness, and the money from the contracts that he accepsts will provide for his family. That's it.

The rest is yours. Uncork your creative talents.:cool:

PAY BACK

A Novel by Lon & FG Members-----------------Koan, Parsy

Chapter One



Frank sat in the waiting room with his eyes fixed on the aquarium, wondering how long the dead angel fish had been floating on top of the water. It had been just one week that the lab tests and blood workups had been completed, and now, Dr. Raymond McCully would be discussing with him the results of those tests.

Frank had not been feeling that poorly, but the headaches and nausea were not something that he had ever experienced before, and it was the reason for his first visit to his new doctor. Since moving from Tampa three months ago with Liz and the kids, getting a new family doctor, dentist and accountant were an additional three things that could be crossed off their list of “Things To Do In Dallas”. The kids were settled into their new school and had already made friends. Even Captain Kirk, the German Sheperd had adjusted well to his new surroundings and like the kids, had made some new friends. This is the first move that Frank St. Clair and his family had made since first getting married, starting a career as a Mortgage Broker in Tampa and beginning a family, which now, in addition to Liz and Captain Kirk, included Kevin 3, Michelle 5, and Cynthia 7. Captain Kirk is 9, so the two year spacing of the kids and dog looked quite deliberate.

Financially, moving to Dallas was a good move and will provide career opportunities that just were not available in Tampa, also, The Dallas Cowboys have always been Frank’s favorite football team.

Frank watched as the attractive young nurse came into the waiting room and said to him---------”Dr. McCully is sorry to keep you waiting, but he had an emergency and said he should be with you in 15 minutes”. Frank nodded and went back to reflecting on his recent move. It seemed like only yesterday that he and Liz were attending the U. of Texas Dallas, she a Fine Arts Major and he a Finance Major. Frank had found that the only extracurricular activity that he had time for was the “Skeet & Rifle Club”. Working 25 hours a week and carrying 14 to 16 units didn’t allow for much else. Frank had learned to shoot when he got his first rifle at age 10. It was a single shot 22 that his dad had bought for him and then took him out hunting rabbits. His dad said that the single shot would help him to focus better on his target and not let it get away with a miss. Having a 7 or 10 shot clip would cause him to fire too many times. Although Frank had not been hunting since he was a kid, he maintained his interest in guns, and target shooting in particular. He owned several rifles and hand guns and was particularly proud of his new Glock 23 that Liz had given him for his 40th birthday.
koan
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Post by koan »

Question: Is this a comedy? Is he a good hit man or could he use a few training courses? :D
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Lon
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Post by Lon »

koan;628167 wrote: Question: Is this a comedy? Is he a good hit man or could he use a few training courses? :D


Frank's a DEAD serious crack shot Koan.
koan
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Post by koan »

Except for one time when he'd had a few drinks and stood up too fast, Frank hadn't experienced this dizzy sensation before. His hands tingled and started to disappear and his vision turned to snow. The doctor stood before him looking very serious. Why was he so serious?

He reached out and found the door frame, his fingers gripped around it until the knuckles turned white, but everything started to focus again. Right. This was serious. Processing the words 'terminal' and 'two years', Frank accepted when the doctor suggested he sit down again. As he got the spiel on tests and possible treatments, it was all background as his mind turned to thoughts of his wife and kids. This was not good. How was he supposed to answer these questions?

He thanked the doctor and waited until he was alone before collecting his jacket and deciding what to do. His throat burned and he decided that a drink would go down pretty well about now.
Patsy Warnick
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Post by Patsy Warnick »

Frank collects his composer, grabs his jacket and walks into the cocktail lounge around the corner from the hospital. The cocktail lounge has large picture windows that over look Downtown Dallas. Frank orders a shot of Scotch from the Bartender, who is a big guy with a handlebar mustache. The Bartender notices Frank staring at him, and asked was there anything else I can help you with?

Frank says, I want to know how long did it take you to get your hair to do that?

Frank is wondering if he has time for a handlebar mustache, he throws down the shot of Scotch, Bartender says three years and alot of work, Frank stares out the large windows and said forget the mustache just give me another shot.

Patsy
Patsy Warnick
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Post by Patsy Warnick »

While Frank is conversing with the Bartender he notices a button missing from his expensive suit jacket. Normally he would back track his steps, since finding out the bad news, he's not bothered about the button. Frank walks up to the large picture windows, hoping he's not bringing too much attention to himself, he presses his nose up against the glass and stares out, knowing he has to explain the unfortunate bad news to his wife.

Frank gazes over Downtown Dallas hoping the answers are out there, when in walks the good looking nurse from the Doctors office. Frank reflects back to when he & his wife were young, and carefree, Frank begins to snicker to himself and actually smiles, and sees his reflection in the windows.

Frank starts to leave the lounge, tips the Bartender and passes by the nurse, when she noticed him and says, don't forget your next appointment. At least thats what he thinks she said, all he noticed were her legs. Then the nurse said, I think this belongs to you, the nurse reaches her hand out and hands Frank a button.

Patsy
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JacksDad
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Post by JacksDad »

Raymond McCully pours himself a scotch.

He walks to the window presses his nose up against the glass and looks out at Dallas..
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JacksDad
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Post by JacksDad »

"Doc, Doc. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Someone musta ratted us out. I didn't know..."

"You didn't know?", screamed Doc Conte. "What the f'k didn't you know?"

Doc leaned over and took Victors jaw in his hand. Stared him him the eye. Victor could taste his hot breath.

"You stupid son of a bch. This was the biggest f'kn job we ever f'kn had. AND YOU F'D IT UP!

I trusted you. You were the best f'n hit man in New York."

Doc stood and spit in Victor's face.

He turned to the rest of the men in the room and said,"I don't wanna see this mother f'r no more,

EVER!"
Patsy Warnick
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Post by Patsy Warnick »

Frank bounces the button around nervously in the palm of his hand, the gentleman that he is, Frank offers to buy the nurse a cocktail, the nurse except and asks Frank to join her.

Frank bounces the button in the palm of his hand, says heads or tails?

The nurse with her Southern accent says heads of course, they take a table next to the large picture windows. They begin small talk, Frank thanks her for the return of his jacket button, the sun begins to set, with the Southern accent she's rattling on with story after story, Frank is day dreaming but yet still intrigued and attracted to her. Its a beautiful Friday evening, the view is beautiful and the sunset is beautiful, and Frank is thinking this day isn't so bad, and can explain everything to my wife later. The nurse asks what type of work do you do? Frank says, I'm in the garbage business, I start my job Monday.

The button is laying on the table , the nurse grabs the button, toss's the button around in the palm of her hand says, my place or yours? Frank thinks due to his illness, he's hearing what every man wants to hear.

Frank has her repeat herself, she giggles the Southern giggle, thinking Frank is teasing her. What Frank doesn't know, while Frank was back with the Doctor, he left his jacket in the waiting room, and the nurse removed a button, so the button was the anti and as far as she was concerned Frank was owing. They stare at the sunset, and she waits for a reply.

Patsy

P.S.

EXCUSE JACKSDAD CONTRIBUTION - ITS LATE ON THE EAST COAST -
Patsy Warnick
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Post by Patsy Warnick »

Frank admires the sunset, and the beautiful nurse accompaning him, he toys with the offer. Frank reaches out and his large hand cover her hand to grab the button, as his hand rests on hers, Frank says, another time Toots and grabs his button toss's the button up into the air, and into his pocket the button goes. The nurse sits with her legs crossed and her sling back shoe is tangling from her foot she says, you know where to find me, Frank says that I do. Frank starts to leave the lounge says good night to the Bartender as he's wiping the bar glasses, the Bartender acknowledges, and Frank leaves.

Frank arrives at his home at early evening, Capt. Kirk (dog) is laying by the front door he starts to wine and is happy to see his owner. Kevin and Michelle are already in bed, Cynthia is coloring at the kitchen table, his wife Liz is down the hall and yells, Frank - honey your dinner is still warm, I put it in the microwave, all is well so far. Frank takes his jacket off and hangs it over a kitchen chair, he hesitates and looks at the jacket, snickers, as if he's admiring himself as a good guy. Frank kiss's his daughter Cynthia on the forehead and tells her to get ready for bed, Frank grabs a bottle of wine and 2 glasses, goes to his comfy sofa awaiting his wife to enter. Finally everything settles down, Liz enters the living room, she's wearing a over sized T-shirt, her hair in a pony tail, she goes on about what a tough day she had with the kids and she had to call for service on the dishwasher. Frank pours Liz a glass of wine and they curl up on the sofa.

Patsy
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minks
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Post by minks »

"It's terminal baby...give me strength...hold me tight...never leave me...I don't know what i am going to do...how can I leave you and the children...why me...life is cruel" Frank stopped his surge of grief before he turned them to the cruel biting words of horror, he reached out to stroke his wifes hair instead. "I love you baby", he pressed his lips to her forehead pausing to close his eyes and gain his composure.

Frank uncorked the wine, expertly poured the ruby liquid into each glass and handed one to Liz.

"To us" he toasted.

"yes us" affirmed Liz.

To miracles he thought, I need a miracle, I can't tell my family yet, if ever. I am their pillar of strength this will do nobody any good if I crumble now. Frank vowed then to make a plan to preserve and protect his family.
�You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.�

― Mae West
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Singh-Song
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Post by Singh-Song »

Chapter 2- After two weeks spent looking for a legitimate job, Frank is having a drink at the same Dallas bar, when two cars screech around the corner. His instincts honed, Frank yells to everyone to get down moments before the gunmen inside open fire on the bar, shattering the glass and peppering the place with lead before making their getaway. Miraculously, only two people are injured, neither seriously. The moustached bartender gets up from behind the counter, cussing and hurling abuse at the gunmen, and the boss who sent them. Frank is just about to leave when...

"**** dat nigger ganglo'd! He think's he own dis neighbo'hood- I ain't never gon' pay protection money to som' NEGRO!"

Frank rolled his eyes, picking the money back off the counter, seeing as how the barman wasn't interested... He should be praying thanks to God that he was still alive right now, but all he cared about was the black crimelord. If the Bartender continued with that attitude, the guy'd be dead before he was...

"He 'spects me ta pay 30 grand a MONTH? There's no limit to the price I'd pay, just ta see that vermin's head served on a platter..."

Inches from the door, Frank froze dead as the opportunity unfurled itself like a strip dancer, his urges over-riding all reason. He'd promised he'd give up that part of his life for good. But it's so much money... But my wife's black. My kids are half black. Probably the only reason this racist barlord doesn't want to pay it, the reason I'd be killing the gang leader is the colour of his skin... BUT IT'S SO MUCH MONEY...

I love my wife. I love my children. But I haven't done a job since the first one was born, nearly eight years ago. Those gunmen nearly killed me just now- If I go after this man, my thread could be cut short in the next few weeks... But I'll NEVER GET A CHANCE LIKE THIS AGAIN... "Hey, Bartender. How much?"
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buttercup
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Post by buttercup »

I will add the confusing bits :D

No need to compensate me in any way Lon, here to help :-4
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Singh-Song
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Post by Singh-Song »

Behind the counter, the bartender stopped mid-swear, turning to face the dishevelled man standing inside the doorway, his loose tie closer to his shoulder than his neck. "Slave-Scu... Hey, son, you tryin' to play the comedian as a town drunk, IT AIN'T FUNNY RIGHT NOW!"

"I'm serious. I can rid you of this guy, but I need the money soon. Real soon."

"Right, and jus' how you gonna do that?"

"I've done it before."

The bartender raised an eyebrow, still not sure whether to take this Yank seriously. "Oh Yeah?" He replied, using a grotty rag to wipe an intact glass in his hand. "Show me."

Frank looked around, looking for a target. On the racks behind the sceptical bartender, half of the bottles were already broken- but not all. Yes, perfect...

Before the guy even had time to move, Frank had pulled out his Glock, the few remaining people in the bar screaming as one by one, the bottles exploded around the barlord, spilt alcohol and shattered glass impacting from both sides.

"You warped... piece of... are you trying to KILL..."

Frank stopped after the ninth shot, putting the pistol back in its holster just before the bartender pulled out a shot-gun from below the counter, panting as he cocked the weapon at Frank's chest. "Shootin' up my bar's s'pposed to make me hire you? Now get, 'fore I release both barrels into yo' face..." Frank said nothing, just gestured to the relic of a shelving unit behind; or, more importantly, to the pattern of bottles still left...

Looking around, the barman gaped at the sight, behind, the remaining bottles weren't random, but arranged uniformly, clearly forming the word, 'O.K?', even complete with the question mark at the end... The shotgun clattered onto the bar surface.

"So, do I get the job, Mister..." The barman turned back to face him, stroking his moustache in disbelief.

"Please. Business associates should know each other by name. Mine's Cole. Cole Federman... You ready to go behind and discuss the details...?"
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Singh-Song
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Post by Singh-Song »

Actually, Lon, if I get into it too deep, I'm not really giving you enough license to write it yourself; So, taking your own creativity into account, here's my concept for the PAYBACK plotline-

As before in chapters one to two. Frank takes the hundred grand commission from Cole Federman, looking for information to lead him to his target, while covering up his return to career hitman with the family by telling them he has a new job- at the bar, working under Federman's employ. Meanwhile, the family begin to settle down in Dallas after the move from NY, Liz's sister Petal childminding the three kids regularly. Frank, in the meantime, resumes his double-life, delving into the criminal underworld of the city to try and identify his assigned target. After getting involved in a shootout, between the petty gang Federman is a member of and the larger, black gang asking for protection money, Frank single-handedly rescues Federman's posse from the brink of defeat, rewarded with a down-payment of ten grand. Only when he gets back home does he find out the truth- Petal's second son, his own nephew in law, was one of the gang members he shot dead. Consumed by guilt at the knowledge, Frank goes to the funeral, but still continues with the job. Sneaking into the hospital where one of the injured members is recovering, he manages to 'persuade' the location of the gang's base of operations out of him. That night, he goes to the hive, shooting the guards and any other challengers. The inner circle make their last stand in a sealed off room upstairs- however, Frank uses the shadows cast against the next building out of the only window to shoot the last guards through the ply-board walls, leaving only the leader alive. Frank breaks down the door, gun-to-gun with his ticket to the security of his family- only to find that the protection racket leader, the one who he has to kill, is actually his brother in law, Petal's husband, Ryan; the man who paid for his family's relocation to Dallas in the first place. The true identity of his son's killer, the full betrayal revealed, Ryan tries to kill Frank. Wounded in the ensuing fight, Frank has no choice but to kill Ryan to stay alive; although ripped apart by the choice between his one and a half years and Ryan's thirty, Frank kills Ryan because of the prospect of his children finding out the truth. All sense of emotion dulled by the ordeal, Frank returns to Federman to collect the money- only to find out, through a slip of the tongue, that Cole knew about the two being related by marriage from the start. Consumed by rage, Frank kills Federman in an instant, laying waste to the bar before leaving with all the money in the safe, some three hundred grand in cash. Arriving home, he finally breaks the news to his family that he has a terminal, inoperable cancer. The money cast to the floor as irrelevant, the novel ends with the family consoling each other, supporting each other together when they need it most.
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Nomad
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Post by Nomad »

buttercup;656611 wrote: I will add the confusing bits :D



No need to compensate me in any way Lon, here to help :-4




Excuuuuuuse Meeeeee !

This is my job. :mad:

Step back please.
I AM AWESOME MAN
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