Mayan Mayhem ... 21 December 2012 ... Armageddon Or Lesgogeddom?

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jones jones
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Mayan Mayhem ... 21 December 2012 ... Armageddon Or Lesgogeddom?

Post by jones jones »

Note to all scientists, astronomers, historians, mathematicians, nuclear physicists & sticklers for detail. I wrote this without any regard as to the accuracy or otherwise of any scientific facts in regard to the Mayan calendar, the planets, nuclear missiles or extra-terrestrials. It is a hopefully humorous piece of writing about what could be our last 318 days on earth. I wore my fiction writer’s hat during its composition.

So we are a week into the second month of 2012 and if the Mayan calendar is to be believed, there are 318 days left before the world as we know it comes to an end on 21 December.

Should we be concerned? I mean it’s not like the world ends every few centuries even. As far back as our written records go, our good old reliable planet has been revolving and orbiting our sun non-stop without a hiccough or a noticeable wobble.

Of course the end of days has been predicted many times on various dates in the past, but thankfully all have been incorrect. However it seems that this time a set of circumstances has arisen that will make the destruction of our world much more likely.

Apparently, for the first time in a gazillion years or so, all the planets in our solar system will line up behind each other like so many celestial soldiers on parade. This it seems will cause a gravitational pull of such magnitude it might well cause a polar shift or even make the earth’s crust move.

Now if we consider the effect our own moon exerts on the oceans in terms of tides, we can imagine the added effect that all the planets might have on our planet. After all, most of earth is covered by water and we ourselves are made up of two thirds fluid.

The question is, will this actually happen? If you are a very negative person you could be excused for thinking that it might well happen. We are already seeing some strange weather patterns around the globe. Temperatures in some parts of the northern hemisphere have plummeted to never before recorded lows and in some countries, figures of minus fifty degrees are being recorded. Whether climate change is a symptom of what is to come on 21 December, we will have to wait and see.

So if the Mayan prediction is correct, what can we do to stave off Armageddon? Can the alignment of the planets be prevented and if so, how? There is no doubt that there are still enough nuclear weapons on earth to easily destroy our planet seven times over. I guess that maybe the destruction of perhaps one of the closest planets like Mars or Venus may be possible, but I doubt it. They are most likely out of range of our missiles, but then who knows? Perhaps one of the nuclear powers have a missile or two capable of achieving light speed.

Of course there might be another possible saviour out there somewhere in the form of an extra-terrestrial civilization who might be a couple of million years more advanced than we are. They might just step in and take the necessary action to save us at the eleventh hour, though if they’re two million years more advanced than us, I doubt they’d want to help us. But then, perhaps unlike us, they might be a more compassionate race of beings and so save us from destruction.

Perhaps they will vaporize the planets shortly before they can do any damage to our poles and crust. Then later generations of humans will write of “a battle of the gods in the heavens” that saved mankind from extinction. Or perhaps they might envelope earth in a sort of “force-field” and thereby protect us from the effects of the planetary alignment.

Of course there is a third possibility. An inter-galactic armada of “Noah’s Ark” spacecraft might arrive on earth in time to ferry us to planets in other galaxies … a sort of redistribution of earthlings. Now wouldn’t that be a cool adventure?

Our only consolation, if one could call it that, is that if 21 December sees the “Mayan

Mayhem” occur and it is the “end of days,” we will all most probably perish at the same time. At least then there will be no mourning and no tears, but best of all, there will be no exorbitant funeral home expenses and undertaker fees to be paid.
"…I hate how I don’t feel real enough unless people are watching." — Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters
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Snooz
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Mayan Mayhem ... 21 December 2012 ... Armageddon Or Lesgogeddom?

Post by Snooz »

If it happens, I hope it happens fast. I don't want to live through something like this:

2012 Trailer #2 - YouTube

My driving skills aren't that good.
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Lady J
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Mayan Mayhem ... 21 December 2012 ... Armageddon Or Lesgogeddom?

Post by Lady J »

jones jones;1383759 wrote:

Of course there is a third possibility. An inter-galactic armada of “Noah’s Ark” spacecraft might arrive on earth in time to ferry us to planets in other galaxies … a sort of redistribution of earthlings. Now wouldn’t that be a cool adventure?




I like this concept! Perhaps we could move here!





Milky Way's Brother Galaxy

The NASA/ESA Hubble Space Telescope has taken a picture of the barred spiral galaxy NGC 1073, which is found in the constellation of Cetus (The Sea Monster).

Our own galaxy, the Milky Way, is a similar barred spiral, and the study of galaxies such as NGC 1073 helps astronomers learn more about our celestial home.

The Hubble Space Telescope is a project of international cooperation between ESA and NASA.

Image credit: NASA, ESA
Bruv
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Mayan Mayhem ... 21 December 2012 ... Armageddon Or Lesgogeddom?

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Thought JJ would appreciate an answer in the mode of JJ.
I thought I knew more than this until I opened my mouth
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Snooz
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Mayan Mayhem ... 21 December 2012 ... Armageddon Or Lesgogeddom?

Post by Snooz »

Bruv;1383779 wrote:



Thought JJ would appreciate an answer in the mode of JJ.


Oh man, I LOVE Doris Day and that was a great movie.
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Lady J
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Mayan Mayhem ... 21 December 2012 ... Armageddon Or Lesgogeddom?

Post by Lady J »

I for one would really hate to see the Earth go.





he new image of Earth is a composite of six separate orbits taken on January 23, 2012 by the Suomi National Polar-orbiting Partnership satellite. Both of these new 'Blue Marble' images are images taken by a new instrument flying aboard Suomi NPP, the Visible Infrared Imaging Radiometer Suite (VIIRS).

Compiled by NASA Goddard scientist Norman Kuring, this image has the perspective of a viewer looking down from 7,918 miles (about 12,742 kilometers) above the Earth's surface.

The four vertical lines of 'haze' visible in this image shows the reflection of sunlight off the ocean, or 'glint,' that VIIRS captured as it orbited the globe. Suomi NPP is the result of a partnership between NASA, NOAA and the Department of Defense.

Image Credit: NASA/NOAA
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jones jones
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Mayan Mayhem ... 21 December 2012 ... Armageddon Or Lesgogeddom?

Post by jones jones »

Lady J;1383778 wrote: I like this concept! Perhaps we could move here!





Milky Way's Brother Galaxy

The NASA/ESA Hubble Space Telescope has taken a picture of the barred spiral galaxy NGC 1073, which is found in the constellation of Cetus (The Sea Monster).

Our own galaxy, the Milky Way, is a similar barred spiral, and the study of galaxies such as NGC 1073 helps astronomers learn more about our celestial home.

The Hubble Space Telescope is a project of international cooperation between ESA and NASA.

Image credit: NASA, ESA


I'd go at the drop of a hat!
"…I hate how I don’t feel real enough unless people are watching." — Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters
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jones jones
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Mayan Mayhem ... 21 December 2012 ... Armageddon Or Lesgogeddom?

Post by jones jones »

Bruv;1383779 wrote:



Thought JJ would appreciate an answer in the mode of JJ.


Precisely my sentiments Bruv!
"…I hate how I don’t feel real enough unless people are watching." — Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters
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rajakrsna
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Mayan Mayhem ... 21 December 2012 ... Armageddon Or Lesgogeddom?

Post by rajakrsna »

Can you believe that crap? The Mayan prediction of the world ending on December 21, 2012 has already been disabled by God. When he ordered Kala ( Time ) resetting it to December 12, 2102. So, why worry be happy. There`s 92 years more to go before Doomsday.
Om namo bagavate vasudevaya, " God is the Cause of All causes."
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jones jones
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Mayan Mayhem ... 21 December 2012 ... Armageddon Or Lesgogeddom?

Post by jones jones »

rajakrsna;1387732 wrote: Can you believe that crap? The Mayan prediction of the world ending on December 21, 2012 has already been disabled by God. When he ordered Kala ( Time ) resetting it to December 12, 2102. So, why worry be happy. There`s 92 years more to go before Doomsday.


Okay so you got a hotline to "god." Ask him this question please ... Instead of "disabling" the Mayan prediction, why'd he let them predict in the first place?
"…I hate how I don’t feel real enough unless people are watching." — Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters
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rajakrsna
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Mayan Mayhem ... 21 December 2012 ... Armageddon Or Lesgogeddom?

Post by rajakrsna »

jones jones;1387735 wrote: Okay so you got a hotline to "god." Ask him this question please ... Instead of "disabling" the Mayan prediction, why'd he let them predict in the first place?


God`s a playful God. He plays with us. He is naughty. He likes to deceive us. He loves to play hide and seek with us. He lies to us. He laughs at us. He does not want us to be too serious with this life because He knows He has a better plan for us in the next life. There is another life for us when this present life is over. We have so many lives. We are so fearful we think this is the only life we got. No, man. If you can only remember your past lives then you know there will be many lifetimes ahead of us. Look at the ants they are so busy with work. They are oblivious to whatever happens to them like when somebody steps on them. They are not afraid because they know they have countless of lives yet to come. So, why should ants worry. They`re happy.
Om namo bagavate vasudevaya, " God is the Cause of All causes."
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LarsMac
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Mayan Mayhem ... 21 December 2012 ... Armageddon Or Lesgogeddom?

Post by LarsMac »

Tichniteca, The Mayan guy that made the calendar just ran out of space on the stone he was carving, and since it was so far down the road, the emperor nixed the req for a new stone to continue. He figured the budget was tight, and the price of stone was way too high, so he'd just pick up a couple more virgins, and stash the rest of the dough in his retirement account, and let the next administration worry about the calendar.

By the time he was ousted, Tichniteca had been beheaded for fooling around with one of the virgins, and folks kinda forgot about making a new calendar stone. After the Aztecs conquered the Mayans, they were going through the old documents and stones, and found the calendar. They started harassing the Mayan captives about their calendar only being good for a few more centuries.

The Great-Great Grandson of Tichniteca, Tommy Tehachape, had discovered the mushrooms that the ancient Mayan priests used to put in their Tacos, and after consuming a rather large quantity. He started babbling in strange languages.

This frightened the Aztec rulers, and Monctezuma, called him to court to explain his strange behavior. He was so drifty from the 'shrooms, he had to think for a while, to come up with something.

He noticed the old calendar, now a wall-hanging in old Monty's ballroom, and came up with a strange tale about how the calendar foretold the end of the world.

About the time he finished his story, Coronado crashed the party, and took all the Aztecs gold and goodies.

Tommy headed for the woods with the a bunch of the other Mayan captives because they really didn't like the Spaniels.

Over the centuries that followed, the Mayans stayed out of the way of civilization, spending their time eating mushrooms and telling stories. One of the most popular tales around the campfire was old Tommy Tehachape's wild yarn about the calendar.

One day some archaeologists from the museum met up with a group of Mayans. They kilt a pig and had a barbeque, and the Mayans brought mushrooms.

during the party, the Mayans to the archaeologists Tommy's tale and the rest, as they say, is history.

At least that's how my Uncle Patricio remembers it.
“All it takes to get elected in twenty-first-century America is a mob of frightened sheep and a wolf with a nice smile,”
― Greg Bear, Darwin's Children

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