WASHINGTON -The divorce rate in the armed forces increased slightly again in the past year as military marriages continued to bear the stress of the nation's ninth year at war.
In the 2009 fiscal year that ended Sept. 30, there were an estimated 27,312 divorces among the nearly 765,000 married members of the active-duty Army, Air Force, Navy and Marine Corps, according to figures provided by the Pentagon on Friday.
That's a divorce rate of about 3.6 percent, compared with 3.4 percent a year earlier. Marriages among reservists failed at a rate of 2.8 percent compared to 2.7 the previous year, according to figures from the Defense Manpower Data Center.
"The changes from 2008 to 2009 are relatively small," said Air Force Maj. April Cunningham, a Defense Department spokeswoman. She said the increase is held down by a myriad of programs offered by the service branches to help couples.
"All military services have a variety of programs focused on strengthening and/or enriching family bonds among couples," she said. "We believe these programs are instrumental in mitigating the stresses deployment places on marriages."
Still, the figures show a slow but steady upward trend in recent years.
Friday's reported 3.6 percent rate is a full percentage point above the 2.6 percent reported in 2001, just as the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks on America propelled the United States into the war in Afghanistan.
"The force is under tremendous stress, and that stress finds its way into marriages," said Joe Davis, spokesman for the organization Veterans of Foreign Wars.
There's no comparable annual system for tracking the national or civilian divorce rate, though the Centers for Disease Control said in 2005 that 43 percent of all first marriages end in divorce within 10 years.
"Every marriage has controllable and uncontrollable factors," Davis said. "But when you interject eight years of war, preparing for war, being at war, coming home and having to think about going back to war again — and when you have children — it just has a tremendous impact on the family unit."
Story link: Military divorces edge up again in 9th year of war
Military divorces edge up again in 9th year of war
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along-for-the-ride
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Military divorces edge up again in 9th year of war
Top 10 ways to make a military marriage work
Military marriages are very stressful because the couples have to deal with the prospect of deployment and long periods of time spent away from each other.
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DO NOT ENTER BLINDLY
Marriage is stressful in even the most ideal situations, so it isn’t hard to imagine that a military marriage is doubly stressful. You have to worry about last-minute deployments that could last months or longer. You have to face the reality that if you marry someone who is in the military, your life is going to revolve around the military. Your partner who is in the military is willing to risk their life for the country, even if that means that they will leave you a widow or widower. You have to be prepared to move around a lot, which can make it hard to raise a family and maintain friendships. Many military marriages end in divorce because couples are not taking the future into careful consideration before they exchange wedding vows. It is critical that both of you are committed to putting in the work necessary to make your military marriage work, despite all the challenges that you may encounter along the way.
DEALING WITH DEPLOYMENT
Deployments are certainly one of the toughest hurdles that a military couple will have to jump together. It is understandably very challenging to be separated for long periods of time, especially if the person being deployed is going into combat. Letter writing is one viable way to stay in touch with your deployed spouse. Although you may be having an emotionally hard time at home, your deployed spouse is surely suffering ten-fold, so you want your letters to provide comfort and love to get them through their deployment. You don’t want to make your spouse feel guilty for being away fighting for the country. Write letters every day to keep you partner abreast to what is happening in your life, what’s going on with your children (if you are parents), what is going on in town, etc. It will keep the bond strong through your separation. You should also invest in a digital camera so that you can take pictures of yourself and your family everyday. Print them out on your personal computer, and send them to your spouse along with the letters. If you have children, have them write letters too, or draw pictures, that you can send to your spouse. These mementos from home will be a source of happiness and strength for your deployed spouse.
SUPPORT GROUPS
Support groups are great way for you to share your struggles with other people who are living the same lifestyle as you are. It helps to talk to people who can understand the way you are feeling, and who have gone through similar experiences in their own marriages.
TRUST YOUR PARTNER
Trust is the most important component to any relationship, and when married couples are forced to live apart from each other for long periods of time, trust is absolutely critical. You have to believe in your partner and in your marriage so that you do not spend your time worrying that your spouse is off with some new lover during deployment.
BE SUPPORTIVE
Give your support to the military so that you have a better sense of pride in your military life. If you are active in supporting the military, you will feel more motivated to make your military marriage work. You also have to remember to be supportive of your partner, whether your partner is in the military, or you are in the military. Neither role is easier than the other. Being in the military is very stressful, and so it is easy to see why that partner would need support. However, it is equally stressful to be the partner who is at home worrying about their spouse who is in the military.
LIVE WITHIN YOUR MEANS
Being in the military is not going to make you rich. Married couples fight about money a lot, but in a military marriage, the last thing you need to do is add more stress to your life by living beyond your financial means. Make a budget and stick to it so that you don’t have to add any more stress to your already heaping full plate.
MAKE A PLAN
It isn’t easy to talk about the worst case scenarios in life, but it is critical that you do so, especially in a military marriage. The two of you need to have a game plan in the tragic case that someone dies. Both of you should be privy to financial responsibilities, investments, insurance, and any other major debts or bills. The last thing that you would want to do if your spouse died would be to have to frantically try to figure out your finances.
MAKE FRIENDS
Make friends with other couples who are in military marriages. Just like with support groups, it is important to have friends who know what you are going through. Also, in the case of deployment, you want to have a network of friends to reach out to.
ACCEPTANCE
If you are going to have a successful military marriage, then you have to accept that. You cannot try to convince your partner to leave the military. That will lead to constant fights, and it could potentially end your marriage. You have to accept the lifestyle that you are entering into when you marry someone in the military.
LEARN HOW TO COPE WITH STRESS
There is no shame in asking for professional help if you are having a very difficult time coping with the stresses of a military marriage. Other ways to alleviate stress include exercising, deep breathing, or talking to a friend.
Military marriages are very stressful because the couples have to deal with the prospect of deployment and long periods of time spent away from each other.
Sponsored Links
DO NOT ENTER BLINDLY
Marriage is stressful in even the most ideal situations, so it isn’t hard to imagine that a military marriage is doubly stressful. You have to worry about last-minute deployments that could last months or longer. You have to face the reality that if you marry someone who is in the military, your life is going to revolve around the military. Your partner who is in the military is willing to risk their life for the country, even if that means that they will leave you a widow or widower. You have to be prepared to move around a lot, which can make it hard to raise a family and maintain friendships. Many military marriages end in divorce because couples are not taking the future into careful consideration before they exchange wedding vows. It is critical that both of you are committed to putting in the work necessary to make your military marriage work, despite all the challenges that you may encounter along the way.
DEALING WITH DEPLOYMENT
Deployments are certainly one of the toughest hurdles that a military couple will have to jump together. It is understandably very challenging to be separated for long periods of time, especially if the person being deployed is going into combat. Letter writing is one viable way to stay in touch with your deployed spouse. Although you may be having an emotionally hard time at home, your deployed spouse is surely suffering ten-fold, so you want your letters to provide comfort and love to get them through their deployment. You don’t want to make your spouse feel guilty for being away fighting for the country. Write letters every day to keep you partner abreast to what is happening in your life, what’s going on with your children (if you are parents), what is going on in town, etc. It will keep the bond strong through your separation. You should also invest in a digital camera so that you can take pictures of yourself and your family everyday. Print them out on your personal computer, and send them to your spouse along with the letters. If you have children, have them write letters too, or draw pictures, that you can send to your spouse. These mementos from home will be a source of happiness and strength for your deployed spouse.
SUPPORT GROUPS
Support groups are great way for you to share your struggles with other people who are living the same lifestyle as you are. It helps to talk to people who can understand the way you are feeling, and who have gone through similar experiences in their own marriages.
TRUST YOUR PARTNER
Trust is the most important component to any relationship, and when married couples are forced to live apart from each other for long periods of time, trust is absolutely critical. You have to believe in your partner and in your marriage so that you do not spend your time worrying that your spouse is off with some new lover during deployment.
BE SUPPORTIVE
Give your support to the military so that you have a better sense of pride in your military life. If you are active in supporting the military, you will feel more motivated to make your military marriage work. You also have to remember to be supportive of your partner, whether your partner is in the military, or you are in the military. Neither role is easier than the other. Being in the military is very stressful, and so it is easy to see why that partner would need support. However, it is equally stressful to be the partner who is at home worrying about their spouse who is in the military.
LIVE WITHIN YOUR MEANS
Being in the military is not going to make you rich. Married couples fight about money a lot, but in a military marriage, the last thing you need to do is add more stress to your life by living beyond your financial means. Make a budget and stick to it so that you don’t have to add any more stress to your already heaping full plate.
MAKE A PLAN
It isn’t easy to talk about the worst case scenarios in life, but it is critical that you do so, especially in a military marriage. The two of you need to have a game plan in the tragic case that someone dies. Both of you should be privy to financial responsibilities, investments, insurance, and any other major debts or bills. The last thing that you would want to do if your spouse died would be to have to frantically try to figure out your finances.
MAKE FRIENDS
Make friends with other couples who are in military marriages. Just like with support groups, it is important to have friends who know what you are going through. Also, in the case of deployment, you want to have a network of friends to reach out to.
ACCEPTANCE
If you are going to have a successful military marriage, then you have to accept that. You cannot try to convince your partner to leave the military. That will lead to constant fights, and it could potentially end your marriage. You have to accept the lifestyle that you are entering into when you marry someone in the military.
LEARN HOW TO COPE WITH STRESS
There is no shame in asking for professional help if you are having a very difficult time coping with the stresses of a military marriage. Other ways to alleviate stress include exercising, deep breathing, or talking to a friend.
Life is a Highway. Let's share the Commute.
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lou lou belle
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Military divorces edge up again in 9th year of war
My husband was in the marines for 14 years, I remember being 21 years old and moving to marriage quarters, I found the life very insular and very lonely. However the way I coped was having my own career and having other friends not connected to the military. I lived my life by a calender, tried to avoid the news and just got on with it.
You have to be independant and just make the most of the time you have together, it certainly takes a certain person that can make this kind of marriage work.
I think its very hard for the children, my youngest son especially, would be upset for days when my husband went away.
You have to be independant and just make the most of the time you have together, it certainly takes a certain person that can make this kind of marriage work.
I think its very hard for the children, my youngest son especially, would be upset for days when my husband went away.
Military divorces edge up again in 9th year of war
lou lou belle;1266998 wrote: My husband was in the marines for 14 years, I remember being 21 years old and moving to marriage quarters, I found the life very insular and very lonely. However the way I coped was having my own career and having other friends not connected to the military. I lived my life by a calender, tried to avoid the news and just got on with it.
You have to be independant and just make the most of the time you have together, it certainly takes a certain person that can make this kind of marriage work.
I think its very hard for the children, my youngest son especially, would be upset for days when my husband went away.
One of other reasons why I will not join any military during an unarguable state of peace time.
You have to be independant and just make the most of the time you have together, it certainly takes a certain person that can make this kind of marriage work.
I think its very hard for the children, my youngest son especially, would be upset for days when my husband went away.
One of other reasons why I will not join any military during an unarguable state of peace time.
Military divorces edge up again in 9th year of war
My Dad was in the Air Force and as a child we moved all the time from base to base. The base housing was to be put up in a trailer. All my life growing up, I was called "trailer trash" when I attended school. It didn't matter how well I was dressed or how I looked, I was plain "trailer trash" to the kids at school. It was hard to make friends because my Dad was never stationed in one place long enough for me to make any "true" friends. I'm am, however, glad that I went though all of this as a child since it has made me a stronger person. In my adult life now, I have many close friends and would never make judgement on a person who lives in a mobile home. As you can see, I refuse to call them trailers, they are homes to many people but that does not make them any less worthy of respect.
Just wanted to add my two cents as to how this affected me as child growing up in a military enviornment.
Just wanted to add my two cents as to how this affected me as child growing up in a military enviornment.
Military divorces edge up again in 9th year of war
Jazzy;1267158 wrote: My Dad was in the Air Force and as a child we moved all the time from base to base. The base housing was to be put up in a trailer. All my life growing up, I was called "trailer trash" when I attended school. It didn't matter how well I was dressed or how I looked, I was plain "trailer trash" to the kids at school. It was hard to make friends because my Dad was never stationed in one place long enough for me to make any "true" friends. I'm am, however, glad that I went though all of this as a child since it has made me a stronger person. In my adult life now, I have many close friends and would never make judgement on a person who lives in a mobile home. As you can see, I refuse to call them trailers, they are homes to many people but that does not make them any less worthy of respect.
Just wanted to add my two cents as to how this affected me as child growing up in a military enviornment.
The ironic thing is that those kids' parents are spending out their ears for mortgage payments and property tax. Plenty of people live in trailer homes and alot more than people realize have the money to take vacations to Florida every year and elsewhere. Who's the loser now:yh_sungla? :wah: :yh_wink :yh_kiss
Just wanted to add my two cents as to how this affected me as child growing up in a military enviornment.
The ironic thing is that those kids' parents are spending out their ears for mortgage payments and property tax. Plenty of people live in trailer homes and alot more than people realize have the money to take vacations to Florida every year and elsewhere. Who's the loser now:yh_sungla? :wah: :yh_wink :yh_kiss
Military divorces edge up again in 9th year of war
Scrat;1272323 wrote: I was talking to an acquaintance today and he was angry about his heating bill. He bought a 2 story house and he's having to go without to pay the heating bill. last month was $370. He is unmarried and no children so only he lives in the home. He cannot rent it out, he cannot sell it as the market value is less than what he signed for it. It's killing him.
I have a friend that lives in a trailer park in a mobile home. He and his wife just bought a new Mercedes, they have a 5th wheel trailer and a big Dodge truck they take on long vacations to the ocean.
Some people know how to live.
Exactly! :yh_sungla
Just PLEASE!,..don't live in a trailer home in Xenia Ohio is all I ask!
Tornadoes
On April 3, 1974 a tornado measuring F-5 on the Fujita scale cut a path directly through the middle of Xenia during the Super Outbreak, the largest series of tornadoes in recorded history. The disaster killed 34 people (including two Ohio Air National Guardsmen who died days later in a related fire), injured an additional 1,150, destroyed almost half of the city’s buildings, and made 10,000 people homeless. Nine schools, nine churches and 180 businesses were destroyed. The city's plight was featured in the national news, and President Richard Nixon visited stricken areas.
Xenia was hit again by another F-4 tornado on September 20, 2000. One person was killed, and 100 people were injured. This second tornado followed a path roughly parallel to the 1974 tornado.
Xenia has a long history of severe storm activity. According to local legend, the area was referred to by Shawnee Indians as "the place of the devil wind" or "the land of the crazy winds" (depending upon the translation). This is mentioned on a historical marker on Route 68 on the road from Xenia to Oldtown. Records of storms go back to the early 1800s. Local records show 20 tornadoes in Greene County since 1884.Xenia, Ohio - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
I have a friend that lives in a trailer park in a mobile home. He and his wife just bought a new Mercedes, they have a 5th wheel trailer and a big Dodge truck they take on long vacations to the ocean.
Some people know how to live.
Exactly! :yh_sungla
Just PLEASE!,..don't live in a trailer home in Xenia Ohio is all I ask!
Tornadoes
On April 3, 1974 a tornado measuring F-5 on the Fujita scale cut a path directly through the middle of Xenia during the Super Outbreak, the largest series of tornadoes in recorded history. The disaster killed 34 people (including two Ohio Air National Guardsmen who died days later in a related fire), injured an additional 1,150, destroyed almost half of the city’s buildings, and made 10,000 people homeless. Nine schools, nine churches and 180 businesses were destroyed. The city's plight was featured in the national news, and President Richard Nixon visited stricken areas.
Xenia was hit again by another F-4 tornado on September 20, 2000. One person was killed, and 100 people were injured. This second tornado followed a path roughly parallel to the 1974 tornado.
Xenia has a long history of severe storm activity. According to local legend, the area was referred to by Shawnee Indians as "the place of the devil wind" or "the land of the crazy winds" (depending upon the translation). This is mentioned on a historical marker on Route 68 on the road from Xenia to Oldtown. Records of storms go back to the early 1800s. Local records show 20 tornadoes in Greene County since 1884.Xenia, Ohio - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Military divorces edge up again in 9th year of war
Scrat;1272646 wrote: Thankfully we don't live in Tornado alley. He does live in a flood zone though with the Howard Hanson dam in need of serious repair. He lives about 100 yards from the Green river. If one thing doesn't get you another will. I doesn't appear the dam will break this year though. Not a lot of rain.
Wow, ironically enough I've been contemplating going to college to study civil engineering :wah:
On that, name one dam on the top of your head that isn't in dire need of repair!
On that, name ANYTHING in America that isn't in dire need of repair
Something needs to be done and now
Wow, ironically enough I've been contemplating going to college to study civil engineering :wah:
On that, name one dam on the top of your head that isn't in dire need of repair!
On that, name ANYTHING in America that isn't in dire need of repair Something needs to be done and now